When Is It Time to Go to Bed for a Toddler?

Hi L.-

My daughter, almost two, used to go to bed routinely at 7pm... until the time change. She had a difficult time with it being so light out side, which is also why she had a difficult time with naps. We ended up covering her windows, and now she goes right to sleep at 7:30. I have to wake her in the mornings when we leave the house, but on the weekends she sleeps in past 8:30 because its still dark in her room. Nap time are also a lot easier with her room dark, kind of a mind trick.

Good luck!

I would try a bedtime routine. I think someone else mentioned this, a warm bath, brush teeth, maybe a story and then time to go to bed. I would also try an earlier bedtime..I would try 7 or 7:30 at the latest. I have an 8yr old and his bedtime is 8:30pm so to me 8:30 sounds too late for a toddler.
Good Luck.

I usually try to get my son in bed at 7:30pm and to go down for his nap at 12:30 or 1:00 at the latest.(he wakes around 7:30am) He is 2yrs 2months. If it starts to get too late like 2pm I just decide not to put him down. It seems that only one day of having a late nap can completely change his schedule. I found it easier to deal with the crankiness 1 night than to have the entire schedule changed. His nap is usually about 2 hours. I did notice a change in his sleep no matter how hard I have been trying, or naps I skipped to make him more tired at night. It still seems as if he can stay up until 9pm but I think this is because his 2 yr old molars are coming in. This wakeful restlessness is typical teething behavior for him. If this is a change from her normal sleep pattern teething might be something to consider.

Hope this helps

Hi L.,
That bedtime is too late for a 2.5 year old. That will make her overtired, which causes her adrenaline to kick in and makes it very difficult for her to sleep. Bedtime should be more like 7:00 or 7:30. At both nap time (generally at 1:00 at that age) and bedtime, make sure that you catch the very first signs that she is getting tired and go right into reading her a book and putting her down. Do not tell her she needs to sleep -- she will do everything she can to stay awake! At that age, I used to tell my son that his favorite stuffed animal, who went to bed with him, needed to rest and that it was important to stay quiet so that Monkey (ok, not the most creative name!) could rest. Inevitably, my son would fall asleep. For more info about helping kids sleep and what time kids should go to sleep at different ages, check out "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child." Be sure to catch the first rubbed eye, spacey look, or yawn!
Hope this helps!
K.

I would suggest going to bed earlier. I find that my son sleeps way better wen he goes to bed early. We aim for 7-7:30 (usually 7, but sometimes we are late or he has a long nap and isn't quite ready). When I as first working on sleep habits, I was told that if you put a child to bed when they are over tired it is going to be impossible. So if your time isn't working move it up a little for a few days (I would 8 at the latest) and then if it works keep it there, if not try even earlier. Also, if you don't have a consistent routine, get one. It doesn't have to be elaborate just something that is predictable...toddlers love consistency :-)

Good Luck!
I am sure you will figure it out :-)

This is a tough age for sleep, they've become the Kings and Queens of Stall. And part of it needs to be what works for your family.

We know toddler/preschoolers who go to bed at 7 pm, but if we did that, we'd never see our daughter between work and commutes. And we like having a family dinner together. We work to make sure she goes down for nap at 1-1:30, we're eating dinner together at 6:30, on our way to bed at 7:30, with lights out at 8 PM. Doesn't always work, but when it does, she does sleep later, and naps better (7 AM wake up and 1.5-2 hr nap). Sleep begets sleep.

I also notice that some kids fall into the early to sleep pattern, while others are night owls. Do what you can to see that your toddler gets 12-14 hours of sleep cumulatively, as that's the target for a toddler.

Good luck!

While most two year olds still take at least one nap a day, it is not at all uncommon for two year olds to give up their naps, especially when they are getting closer to three. If she doesn't seem to NEED a nap, as in she is happy, behaving, and following directions, then she is probably ready to give it up. However, this means that she has to go to bed earlier: my two and a half year old takes one 2-3 hour nap a day in the morning/early afternoon, and is upstairs doing the bedtime routine by 7 or 7:30, in bed to sleep by 7:30/8 (depending on when and how long her nap was) - your daughter should be in bed by 7:30 at the latest, especially if she takes no nap. My two year old gets up without fail at 6:30 every morning regardless of when we put her to bed ---- since your little one doesn't want a nap, then she should be sleeping at least 12-13 hours a night which means waking around 7:00 or 8am.
If you do not have an established sleep routine, then get one. You start that routine at least 30 minutes before you plan on having her in bed so that you give yourself ample time to do everything. Here is what we do with my daughter:

1. Diaper change, jammies,teeth brushing and a warning that it will soon be time for bed
2. Upstairs with daddy for 3-5 books, a few more every now and then if she is into it.
3. Into the crib
4. Sip of water, kisses and hugs, lights OUT.

That has been our routine since she was old enough to have one.It is very predictable, and she knows that no amount of manipulation, tantruming, or anything else will make us deviate from it. We do sometimes have to go upstairs once or twice to re-settle her, but that is accomplished without turning the lights on and with as little conversation between baby/parent as possible.

If she's old enough to snack on raisins, try montmorency cherries from Trader Joe's as a pre-toothbrushing snack.

They taste tart and good, and are full of natural melatonin.

Other things to induce melatonin production in a kid who is not making it when you need them to:
-warm bath by candlelight (crawl in with her for a nice soak, let her blow out the candle afterwards to say "good night".)
-lights very dim (this triggers melatonin)
-good sleepy time books (great while snacking on cherries and drinking warm milk.) Books in our house that work: the little go to sleep book, time for bed, and good night moon. We have also started watching the nutcracker and swan lake (both ballets) at night. Very beautiful, lots of good dreams and pretty stuff going on with no talking; & not so active that they will want to get up and jump around to it either. Just dim the lights and the music will take your kid into dreamland. Seems to really work.
-Routines for bedtime. If you don't have a routine for the rest of your day, this is where you need one: either a bath or a sponge bath of your daughter; hair brushing; jammies; milk and snack; stories; toothbrushing; ballet or other quiet time music to help them drift off.

The earlier they go to bed, the darker it is, the better they make melatonin. Kids make a lot, but they make it at different times during the day. You can boost it through diet and support it with routines. If you kid moves too much, or noise is too distracting, or the lights are too bright where they are trying to fall asleep, their natural melatonin starts to dissipate and they become alert instead of restful.

it depends on what time they -have- to be up in the morning or what time you want them up OR just what time they get up..

My kids need at least 12 hours.. it was around that age my now 4 year old would start to drop naps (I miss them so..) we had her on an 8-8 schedule.. other wise she was a BEAR.

the baby needs about the same but she's up no matter what at 630am.. so she goes to bed around 7, we've moved the 4 year old back slowly to 715 she gets ready for bed and we're usually done with story/teeth/potty by 730 (they have dinner around 5 and then bath's) we moved her back for 2 reasons. 1. our sanity of keep bedtimes close together. 2. for school in the fall.

Hi L.,
My daughter will be 3 in a few weeks and has pretty much given up her nap for "quiet" time. She is ASLEEP by 7pm at the latest and sleeps until 6:30-7am. It takes her no more than 15 mins to fall asleep and she doesn't cry. I HIGHLY recommend reading "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" by Dr. Marc Weissbluth to understand biological sleep rhythms and how/when they evolve and mature. Dr. Weissbluth is very adamant about the need for an early bedtime and states he believes most children go to bed too late. He isn't an advocate for the "cry it out" method but does state that it is the fastest and easiest way to correct bad sleep habits. The other methods he mention take longer and when you need to "retrain" after a vacation or illness it takes more time. The biggest thing is to be consistent. I would personally start putting your daughter in bed by 6:30-6:45pm right a way. You might be surprised at how fast she accepts and welcomes it. If you want more info on Dr. Weissbluth's methods or have questions, email me. I am always willing to help other moms as I think being a mom is the hardest (and most fun) job there is but is impossible if you are too tired. Best of luck and if you go for an earlier bedtime give it 5-7 days.
Sincerely,
L.

I would have to say nix the late afternoon naps, it sounds like they are a problem. My son sometimes wants to sleep late in the afternoon and I usually try to keep him occupied and awake until we get over the hump. 8:30 seems like an acceptable bedtime for a 2 1/2 year old. I have two children 3 and 6 and this is our routine. We have a set bedtime of 7:30 (as they are up at 5-6am regardless of bedtime)and thats when they go to bed. The rule is you have to stay in your bed and be quiet, you can read a book but you may not play with toys. My husband and I have never opened up the issue of bedtime for discussion, it's a house rule and a non-negotiable issue (for now). I know that my daughter was about 2 1/2 when my son was born and she did have a bedtime issue for awhile but I discovered it was because she felt like he was getting more attention (nursing and being held) and she just wanted some special attention. We started giving her some special mommy or daddy time without baby around and that did help.

My first son has always been a great sleeper - 8pm to 8am, as he's gotten older that has changed a bit.

My second son not so much! He too is 2 1/2 and has started to not take naps everyday. So at 12:30-1pm my boys get quiet time (so do I!) and they are up between 2-3pm. We have dinner and do their bedtime routine and they are in bed between 7:30-8pm, my little one (if he didn't sleep at nap time) will be asleep in 10 minutes and usually sleeps til 7:30-8am. If he has taken a nap he will not go to sleep til 9 or so but he has books to read in bed and soft music playing to help him wind down.

I think whatever time you decide you want her to go to bed is fine, but make sure she gets enough sleep. If you have to be up by a certain time in the morning then make sure she is in bed at least 12 hours before so she has the chance to get all the sleep she needs!

A bedtime routine really helps too - our is dinner, play, bath, sit with dad, brush teeth, story, prayers and bed.

Good luck!

my question for you is what is your routine? my kid will go to bed any time i want him to as long as we follow his settle down routine religiously -- bath, jammies, teeth, book in rocker, down to bed with music while i sit in the rocker for a few minutes, then i leave and off he goes. some nights he may not be as tired as others and it may take longer, but he is geared for sleep. my kid used to go to bed fairly late 10 or so, even 11, and i was amazed that with a few days of the routine, he let me put him down at 830. and if we miss one part of it, he does not relax as easily. my kid is 2, we started this about 10 months ago, and it has made my life 100 percent better regarding my kids sleep. good luck

I agree with Amy P. What we put in our bodies is huge these days. I see alot of requests for different things on this site and if we ate better it would help tons of things including sleep. Changing snacks, drinks and just about everything needs to be done for all of us to do better. How can we sleep if we are full of sugars, preservatives, colors and junk. I am not saying that you feed your child this way but some are. And melatonin is a natural thing, so is triptofan which is found in turkey and I do believe milk and tuna. It helps to calm you down, so that warm milk thing just might be true. good luck

Hi L.. My son went thru a year of not going to bed until he passed out at 2am or so and same as yours, not taking the right type of nap. I finally figured out that in the day he has to have quiet time for a least an hour where he can do whatever he wants but he has to be quiet on the couch or his bed- you might have to lay with him and close your eyes for a while until she's gets the hang of it. Then at nite I started turning all the lights out in the whole house and reading to him, not letting him watch tv or anything stimulating. We do the same routine at night (not always at the same time- we don't have to be on an exact schedule yet) but for a lot of people apparently that helps: dinner, a little bit of play, bath, little bit of play then books. Now even if he takes a late nap he associates the routine with it being dark outside so he knows it's time to go to bed and read books. It's funny too because now when he gets tired for his nap he tells me he's going to his dinosaur bed to read books... awesome!! Good luck, hope this helps. P.S> sleeping has always been some type of issue at our house but it's getting better as the kids get older and understand more, so stick in there!!

Hi, L.,
I know most parents have an earlier bedtime than my boy, but my little 3 year old has consistently gone to bed at 9:30 PM. There just is no way that he is tired enough at 8:30. He would come out of his room, or keep me up if I went to bed with him. So, I have resigned myself to this schedule. He wakes up at 7 AM regardless of how late he goes to bed (some nights when we have special activities, it could be as late as 11 PM!). He does take a nap most days....anywhere from 90 minutes to three hours. It could be that your daughter just has a later bedtime than most toddlers. I have another friend with the same issue. Her daughter also had a later bedtime than the parents wanted. So you can try the suggestions others have offered and I hope they do work for you. However, I just wanted to share that some toddlers just go to bed later for some reason. Best of luck!

8:30 is a reasonable bedtime. You have to not allow the late afternoon naps. Put her down for a nap at noon and make her stay there. Its ok if she plays a little in her bed nut just make her stay there.

You've gotten a lot of different suggestions, so I just want to tell you what works for us. My son is now 19 months old, and he has NEVER been a good sleeper. Always to bed late, crazy nap schedule, etc. When we moved out here 8 months ago, I read the book The No-Cry Sleep Solution, and while I already know a lot about the benefits of a schedule/routine, this book opened my eyes!!!! Like a few others have said, within a few days of implementing a bedtime routine, he was going to bed for the night between 8:30 and 9pm. HALLELUJAH!

I've also noticed a HUGE difference in his actual sleep. He sleeps SO MUCH BETTER now that we have a set routine EVERY night with very few exceptions... even when we go to Grandma's or are not at home. Part of this difference is my own attention to the clock and not to other things that need to be done or things that I get wrapped up in.

Our bedtime routine starts at 7:15 with a bath. Then we do our baby rub with lotion, jammies on, dry & brush hair, and clean out ears. Then, it's back downstairs for yogurt (which is GREAT for natural melatonin) and hugs & kisses with Daddy. We go back upstairs (he LOVES the stairs!!!) to read 3-5 books, then we kick Daddy's out, and he nurses. It depends on how tired he is as to how quickly he falls asleep, but we rock in his DARK room (only a nightlight), and I lay him down in his crib to fall asleep on his own. It took about a week for him to anticipate what was coming next, and now if we try to skip a step, he reminds us!!! It's awesome!

I know this was long, but hopefully something in these suggestions will click with you and your family. One thing you should definitely take into account is the overall schedule of your household. If everyone gets home late from work, then an early bedtime may not work for you. As for not napping, I agree with the others about quiet time. That time is as much for you as it is for your child! Good luck :)

Hi L.,

I raised five children...their bedtime was 8PM...we had a very long wind down period...dinner at about 6PM...bath and books...no TV...I have even noticed with myself that electronic stimuli does not aid in the sleep process...it leaves my mind to busy...It really boils down to the adults in charge...I now have my grandchildren once in a while...they have no formal bedtime at home...I do the same wind down that I used on my children and then call my daughter when they are sleeping...they knock out pretty easy...and are asleep before 8PM...its a little harder when its still light out...so I would just have more reading time...Even as they aged...bedtime only shifted to 9PM...then they could stay up longer reading in their bed...but the house was quiet...Good Luck...T.