Best Age for Daycare

I'll be honest. I am so sick of hearing about people putting their babies in daycare for socialization. Join meet-up.com. Most kids do not play with other kids until 2.5. And most don't play with others till 3!!!!!!!!

You've gotten good advice here. Daycare helps the parents, not the babies. He isn't developmentally ready to socialize. I kept my kids home with me and did preschool to get them ready socially for school. At 13 months, I wouldn't have given up a minute with my kids - it goes by too fast.

I put my son in preschool when he was 3 --2 mornings a week...try some play groups or gymboree instead in the meantime...take him to the park...Save the daycare for when/if you go back to work....and yes, mine was sick when he started preschool and he "shared" but eventually the immune system gets stronger

no child 'needs' daycare.
a working parent needs it.
a year old baby doesn't.
1 year olds don't need to be 'socialized.' they just need to be part of the world, and YOUR everyday life. if you feel your life is too isolated and doesn't include enough other kids, find a park or a mother's group or a meet-up or the library or go for hikes or.............
khairete
S.

Wait a minute! At 13 months he's not supposed to be interacting with other kids. That doesn't happen, developmentally until closer to 3 years.

I recommend, that unless you're putting him in day care for your own convenience that you not put him in daycare. He will gain nothing from the experience. He is not developmentally ready for group experiences. Being in day care won't hurt him but do not do it for his benefit.

I think Jenna's post is meant to be sarcastic. I'm glad she posted because it does remind me that at 13 months your son has not yet developed a strong sense of security. Adding day care now is probably not a good idea because of his need to feel confident that you will always be there for him. When you leave him elsewhere he may become less secure and develop stranger anxiety.

I urge you to read up on child development so that you know what to expect at each age. In that way, you'll better know how to meet his needs.

Why put him in daycare. If you want him to see other kids, check your library for story time type of classes, check churches. Gyms sometimes have classes for Mommy n Me. I took my grandson to a gym at a year. He loved it and got to see other kids. So if you are going to spend the money, spend it on something you can do with him. You will also meet new people.

When your child is about 2.5 or 3 years old.. Depending on the child..

Consider Mothers day out. Otherwise your son will be fine, just playing with you, or at the park with other kids.

There are also mom groups where moms meet up once a week or more often and the kids play.. At this age, your child is still naturally going to want to play alone.

Little kids don't learn from kids their age, they learn from adults (and from older kids).
At 13 months, they don't play or interact WITH peers either, they interact NEAR them.. parallel play. The idea of children spending time with kids their OWN age is really artificial and comes from our age-based school system, it has nothing to do with infant and toddler development. Daycares group kids that way because they have similar needs and interests so it's easier to care for them... NOT because they need to be around each other.

Daycare is for parents who need someone to care for their child during the day. You don't need that. So you don't need daycare.

When he's ready for preschool in a couple of years THAT is the time to think about sending him off somewhere.

If you want him to have more interaction outside your household, take him to library story time, go play at the park and meet people etc... but daycare is NOT the answer to this particular problem.

HTH
T.

There is no benefit for a child under 2 years old in daycare.

Hmmm...the fact that you call your son "her" makes me wonder if this is a genuine question or not. Assuming that you are sincere...

Are you a SAHM? If so, it doesn't make sense to me to put a child that young in daycare if you are home and not working. For extra socialization, I'd look into programs in your area for moms and tots - mommy and me yoga or exercise classes, music classes, story time at the library, trips to the playground,etc. Unless you live in the middle of nowhere, there's probably a lot around you if you look for it.

I'd also read up on development so you know what's typical of a baby this age. What you are describing sounds totally normal to me. Kids are challenging, all day long. He doesn't need to interact, play and learn from other kids at 13 months old. You are all the entertainment he needs. Preschool when he's 3 or 4 will provide all of the socialization that he'll need to be prepared for Kindergarten.

If you really find it challenging to keep him entertained all day or find yourself bored at home with him all the time, then if you were to use daycare, I would fine a place that will take him for a few hours a day a few days a week. Most places are designed for parents who work full-time and don't want to deal with part-time kids, but if you look around you can find providers. A few hours a week might be the break you need, but do expect the downside, which is that they really are germ factories. Even the cleanest, most well-maintained centers in the world are full of germy little kids and yours is bound to pick up bugs, but it's either now or whenever he first goes to school so don't let that be a deterrant.

My kids had excellent daycare experiences, but for us there was no choice as my husband and I both work FT.

My kids went to preschool (2 days per week, half days) at age 4.

Instead of daycare, seek out parent/child activities. Create opportunities for your son to interact with others. That is one of the perks of being a SAHM, you can do it yourself rather than pay someone to do it for you.

Honestly, if you kept him home till pre-school (about 4 yrs old), he'd be just fine.
Babies don't like to play with other babies - although they love to look at them.
Babies need interaction with adults - who talk with them and hold them - and that doesn't always happen at day care as much as you'd like.

Now if it's YOU that needs the break - for some down time to recharge your batteries - there's nothing wrong with using daycare so you can do that.

There are 2 ways to look at this. 1. My kid needs to be with other kids, and how can do that? Daycare, McDonald's Playland (this was my daughter's favorite), park, mommy and me group, etc.... 2. At what age does parallel play turn into interactive play? Do kids at this age really benefit a lot from having other kids around with the risks of daycare like you mentioned?

I do think that is important for you to have time away, and 2 days a week is a great amount to start! This is not only for you kiddo, but also for YOU so that you don't get burned out.

Only you can make the best decision for you, but think about these things as well....Good luck, its so hard, especially with the first one.

I definitely don't think day care is necessary for a 13 month old. Try looking up free activities in your city (such as library story time or mom's groups) or signing up for a mommy and me class. One or two structured activities a week would be more than enough to get him used to being around other kids and following directions (even if its just "sit in mommy's lap now"). These sorts of activities were great, not just for my kids, but for me -- it gave me something to do and a chance to interact with other adults. My kids went to part time preschool at 3.5 and 2.5 years. The only reason I started my second child at 2.5 was because I was returning to work.

you do not need to send him someplace to get him around kids.

check out the library story times.. most have toddler times.. where there is a story and then a short playtime.

look for playgroups .. some school districts run playgroups. also join a moms club and they have playgroups..

sign him up for kindermusik or Gymboree classes.. great opportunity to play with others.

DO not send him to day care to socialize.. he is 13 months old.. he can not socialize with others.. at this age.. they bite hit and hurt each other.. they cannot play nicely with each other. and it is scary to be left in a a strange place.

you can take him place to be around other kids.. and you stay with him and watch him.

We started our son in day care 3 full days a week at 15 months. Before that our manny would take him to the library or to the playground. Daycare was a necessity for us as we both work. It's proved good for our son because he is well cared for, and enjoys the routine.

As an only child, and only grandchild, he was too much the center of attention at home, and getting a little bratty as a consequence. Daycare at that age, didn't do much for his socialization with other kids, but it did do wonders in expanding his patience and empathy.

At 2.5 he's still largely about paralell play. By 3, the kids seem to really understand and look forward to playing with each other.

Good luck to you and yours,
F. B.

I never did daycare with my kids, but they did get plenty of chances for interaction. I was in a couple of playgroups. I took my kids to the babysitting room at the Y so I could work out. I found out what time the local daycare took the kids to the playground and planned my playground trips to coincide. We went to story time at the library. We went to the Childrens Museum and the Zoo. Your baby will not play with other kids at this age, but he will enjoy playing near other kids and watching other kids, especially older kids. By the time he is three she will be ready to do a pre-school program a couple of half days a week.

I suggest you consider a Mother's Day Out Program. Most child care programs charge by the week and you pay the same price if you go 1 day per week or all 5 days. They have staff and bills that have to be paid whether a child is there or not. So they do a flat rate.

In a Mother's Day Out Program it is meant to be part time only. You enroll your child for only the day/days they'll be coming. It's very similar in schedule and activities. They do a lot of the same things. In child care they'll provide a lunch that is the same for each child. In Mother's Day Out they either have you bring a lunch or they are only half day.

I chose the age of 3. It took three day care centers before I found the one that I felt comfortable with even though I interviewed each one beforehand. I chose three because at that age my little girl was able to tell me about her day and that was very important to me.

Great age. I started mine at 18 mos and she had more stranger anxiety so Go for it!

My kids have been in a daycare setting since 2 months old. I think your situation sounds good. It is okay for your child to learn to be with others. Usually, the younger the better the transition.

My daughter's Kinder class had some kids that had never been without Mom at age 5-6y. They took turns crying throughout the day. It was hard on them, hard on the teachers, hard on the other kids that were looking at them like 'what's up with you, were going home soon.'

Yes kids get sick at daycare. Hopefully it is only for a day or two at a time. Sometimes it can be as long as a week. It happens. When they go to the store, school, church, they pick up germs also. Just another close place to 'share' with friends.

Daycare is good. There is a protective effect to daycare in that it strengthens/primes the immune system, though most highly in babies under 6 months.

I would do the daycare. It's difficult to occupy her 24/7, I know! She'll be playing and having fun there. We do the same thing @ 15 months, 2 days a week. I use the time for exercise.

We don't have preschool that starts until 24 months, so we do that then. And, that tends to be a lot cheaper. At age 15 months anyway it's about $400 a month for the daycare 2 days a week (3 hours) vs. $200 for the preschool once they turn 2, same amount of time.

We start using the daycare @ the gym around 2 months old...and then the kids don't have separation anxiety as they get older. But that daycare is just a room with toys and no activities or much staff interaction, so they get bored when they get around 1. The daycare has more fun activities and outdoor time for any age.

I'd wait to put him in daycare until about 2 or 2 1/2. Until then you guys can do some playgroups or mommie and me type of activities. At around 2-2 1/2, he would benefit more from social interaction with other kids. At 13 mos, not so much. They are just not developmentally at a place where it would be beneficial.
I have a daughter in daycare, and sure she gets sick. But, as we have noticed with my son who also went to daycare, he rarely gets sick now that he's in school. We've been there, done all them germs already!
Also, daycare teachers are strangers, but only at first. When you are ready, find a daycare you really like. Ours is great- everyone knows everyone else, and it's like a big extended family. The teachers and directors even come to the kids birthday parties. I trust them wholeheartedly.
Don't worry about separation anxiety in general. It's a rite of passage with all mom's and babies. And it's almost always worse on the mom than the baby. :)

He doesn't need socialization now. If you are not working and don't need daycare, just wait and put him in a 2 year old preschool program 2 times a week.

As for getting sick, I put my child in daycare at two. She got sick a lot that year (so did I) but now, she is rarely sick. They really do build up those immunities.

My dd started day care at 18 months. She went 3 days a week and my Mother watched her the other 2 days. She did fine. She did get sick alot at first and was fine later. Kids that age don't play together but she did like being around the other kids. She even called them "The Kids". She didn't start making friends until she was 3.

It's up to you as to whether you send your son to day care or not. I didn't have the fears that alot of parents seem to have about daycard. Just make sure you check them out. Go for a visit in the morning, around lunch and late afternoon to observe the daycare workers. I loved the Director at my dds daycare and she had wonderful teachers. Just do your research in choosing the right daycare. Good luck!!

Julie G., I am with you. Who has such extra money nowadays??

I do believe kids need interaction before 2. I believe you can see a difference and that whther they need it or just like it, it's important for them to interact with others their age. That being said there may be other ways to get that interaction (play groups, music classes, gym classes) My kids go to daycare because we work. As for getting sick...yes they do get exposed to a lot more germs and will get sick but it is good to help build their immune system. Kids who don't go to daycare typically miss time in pre-school/kindergarden because they haven't had that exposure yet. So it's either now or later. The separation anxiety will go away and that young he may be fine. It will likely be harder on you than it is on him! I have been there! As far as strangers taking care of your baby...do your research before you choose. We chose a center because of the regulations and requirements...and flexibility. Observe in the room and talk with teachers. Talk with the director and/or owner. You will know! We use the Goddard School which is a franchise and family owned. Their kids went there just up until last year. Good luck! I personally think it's great that you want to get him out to be social.