Being Held Hostage from Sleep.

I think that you are right inthat she is anipulating you. I think that you should talk to your pediatrician and find out what he/she thinks about the aggressive behavior. You should be concerned about her wanting to hurt herself to get you to stay in the room. my daughter is 2 1/2 years old and still co sleeps with us. She never liked to sleep in her crip at night and she needs to cuddle with us to fall asleep. the outdoor air seems to aid in her falling asleep faster also. Lots of playtime outside helps as well. Maybe the doctor could suggest a different diet for her. there are some foods that are not the greatest source of proper nutrition for small children. My concern is for you as well as you are not getting adequate sleep as well and you need to do so. Without enough sleep how are you coping without it? Check with your doctor. keep me posted on how you are doing. good luck

I agree with all the previous messages. I had some "bumps in the road" with my daughter's sleeping around the 21 month mark. You need to stick to your guns and one day bam! It's all over...trust me. you can get some advice from one of those super nanny or nanny 911 websites.

Good Luck!

It's rough being sleep deprived! It's hard for you to function & your patience gets shorter. But hang in there! Be tough like prior responders said - she will (& you too) get through this. I agree that maybe it is time to eliminate naps or cut them shorter. I'm sure you enjoy the break during the day, but is it worth losing sleep at night?
It's hard, but be strong & don't give in. Get crib guards to protect her chin from further bruising & get your husband ear plugs. I'm sure her tantrums can be heart breaking for you, but if you give in you are giving he the upper hand. Take back control. Be reassuring but firm with her if you have to. She'll learn eventually.
If you can't eliminate naps maybe you could just put her to bed a little later - you'd be surprised by what a difference a half hour makes.
Also invest in a soothing sleepy time CD. I started playing calming classical music when I was pregnant cuz it supposedly helps increase IQ. Well, we continued when they were born & still use it to this day. When going to bed my girls only hear the soothing quiet music & it becomes a buffer. They can't hear us moving about the house or the house creaking when the heat comes on or the rain pelting the roof. Once we left my 6 year old's CD player at my in-laws & she said she could go to bed with out the music since she was a big girl now. Well she was calling for us every 5 minutes saying "I heard a noise." We finally took my 3 year old's CD player & put it in the hallway & turned it up so they both could hear it in their rooms. It helped! We also set it on repeat so it plays softly through the night so if they do awaken during the night, they just hear the music & fall back asleep instead of calling for us! It is comforting & reassuring to them.
Try it out - it can't hurt! Good luck!

sorry to be so blunt, but you are giving in to her.your adding fuel to the fire. Let her cry and scream and kick, but DO NOT go in there! She KNOWS you will. also, I wanted to add, you should not give a child a bottle in a crib, it causes bottle mouth(cavities and tooth decay) and can lead to chronic ear infections. Trust me, you do not want to be sitting with a 2 year old who is getting surgery on her adult teeth underneath her gums, that will make the bruised lip look like nothing! all because of the bottle! Its not worth it.actaully you could probably take her off the bottle completely since she is already one...

She will eventually learn that she cannot get her way all the time. Think about it, imagine this now, just wait until she's five and having a huge "someone is attacking me screaming" tantrum in the store because you won't buy her something. Or even worse, 16 and wants to stay out all night partying!! YOU HAVE TO PUT YOUR FOOT DOWN NOW, SO SHE WILL LEARN WHO HAS THE POWER!
you might have to be "mean or tough" for a while. By giving her the bottle or walking her around until she falls asleep, you are playing her game. and she knows it.

good luck ;~)

Wow. Well I guess the crying it out isn't going to be so effective with her. I wouldn't want my child all bruised up from jumping in the crib either. Also, a doctor might look at such a bruise and split lip and get the wrong idea. I do have another suggestion. Well, a couple. First, always make sure you follow the same routine each night so she knows what comes next and when bed time is, and try to make it the same time every night. Second (and I got this from another mom I used to know), give her a new teddy bear or stuffed animal or even a doll with your hair and eye color (you can cut the hair to your style as well and put clothes similar to those you would wear) and call it the "mommy doll". Give it to her only at bed and nap time and only if she will go in the crib. Tell her the doll will sleep with her and she can hold it and talk to it all she likes. And third, even though you may be opposed to it, try some childrens nighttime tylenol or a small dose of benedryl once in awhile. My pediatrician suggested it to me when my son was colic and said very small doses used sparingly wouldn't hurt him and would reinforce sleepiness at bedtime. I only did it when at my wits end though. I still don't like the idea. Theres also homeopathic things like chamomile that work as a soothing agent. Try giving her watered down chamomile tea an hour before bedtime or crushing up tablets in some water. You can find them in herbal stores. Good luck!

Q.....
I remember your last request. It seems that it is getting worse for you instead of better. You know, 1 isn't too young to skip a nap. Our second daughter is 2 now and she hasn't napped in 1 year....We found that when it was time for bed, there was nothing else to do but sleep and we got so much more sleep too! Does she have a music machine with lights attached to her crib?
Barb

Like I said before. Screaming is her only form of communication. The harder she does it the more likely you are to give in. Baby girls are alot stronger. They will rip ya a knew one!

Yea, I'd suggest ear plugs for your hubby. And, there are cushioned guards you can put on her crib so she can't hurt herself.

Maybe try getting a little CD player in her room and let her listen to soft music. Something could be making her uncomfortable. Perhaps the temp in the room, her PJs, the sheets in her crib. There are those lamps with the shapes cutout in the shade that spins. So, she can have a star show in her room. My son has a TV so I put on a cartoon and turn the volume off. He's 2.5 so he knows the routine. If he's not tired he'll just lay in bed with some books. And, it wasn't always like this. It took a while. It was all so very worth it!! But, then again, girls are much more determined.

You can tell her over and over, "It is time for sleep." "You're okay, it is just time for sleep." I was like a broken record with those phrases.

Don't offer her the bottle anymore since she's just chucking it. She's old enough now that she doesn't need it at all for nutritional value. It will only ruin her teeth and fatten her up anyways.

Just keep with your routine and when its time for bed you say lovingly yet STERNLY "It is time for sleep." Give lots of kisses and walk out. Do not go back in. I promise you with all my heart and soul she will work it out on her own and she'll feel so great about her independence when she does.

I am sorry you are having such a difficult time getting your daughter to sleep. When my daughter was one I went into the hospital for almost a month. When I got out I had the hardest time trying to get her to sleep at night because she wanted to be with me constantly. She would stick her legs between the slats of the crib and kick and scream until the fronts and backs of her shins were covered in bruises. I wove blankets between the slats but she still would manage to get her legs up under them. She would also get so mad she would bite herself or bite the edge of the railing on the crib. Thie resulted in her breaking one of her front teeth.

Some of the things that worked for us were:

No naps during the day. She didn't really need it anymore and I found that if she had one she would be up forever.

I had a little throw blanket that I would cuddle up with on the couch while reading, it was nice and soft and smelled like mommy. I would occasionaly spray it with a little of my perfume and give it to her to sleep with. She is seven now but even now if she has a bad dream or trouble sleeping she will ask if she can have one of my blankets or some of my perfume sprayed in her bed so she can sleep.

We also set up a very set routine for bedtime. Everynight at the same time I would give her a bath with the lavender scented baby bath products (nice and calming). This would be followed by a nice massage with the same scented lotion, a snuggle and a book. Then, I would put her in her crib with classical music playing (they have bedtime cds of classical music which I found better than lullaby tapes because she would want to sing with them. She still falls asleep to Mozart every night). At first I would rub her head as she lay there for a couple of minutes then I would sit nearby until she fell asleep. When she would get up I would tell her to lay back down and if she didn't I would lay her down then sit back in my chair. Once she fell asleep I would sit there for a few minutes to make sure she was really out before I left. As time went on I moved my chair further and further away from her until I was able to leave the room entirely.

At this age it is really important to teach our children how to self sooth because they will wake up during the night and need to know how to get back to sleep on their own. At first it is hell I will admit. She is going to fight it like there is no end but if you are consistent you will win out in the end. As for your husband, getting your kid to sleep with the night comes with the territory of being a parent. Most parents have had to suffer and drag themselves to work tired from a night of a crying child. What you do during the day is stressful and work as well as any mother knows. I think your husband should help you out with the issue but if he is unwilling to then I would recommend he take that sleeping pill and pop in the earplugs. It is better for him to loose some sleep for a short time while your daughter is learning how to sleep than for the problem to go on longer than necessary causing more stress for your daughter and her parents both.

Good luck!
P.S. I liked the idea about the "mommy doll" too.

Ho, I'm N., umm, have you tried just wrapping the railing in batting and padding? That way, when she throws her bottle and then begings to jump up and down she at least won't be knocking herself against a hard railing(possibly even try memory foam, though it's more expensive). I wish i had other advice... I tend have music on low for my daughter, just loud enough to make her feel as if she's not alone. Brianna however does not sleep through the night, mainly i think because she moves herself into the most uncomfortable positions known to baby-kind. She's 7 months old. I would have replied sooner but my internet was down. I hope everyhting works out.