Behavior in Kindergarten

First of all I'm wondering if this teacher knows how little boys function? They don't sit still and they do tend to act out. That being said there are a few possibilities I can come up with. He may be bored in class. If he finds what she's teaching repetative, or understimulating he's going to find ways to amuse himself. Or the same will happen if the teacher only has one teaching style and it doesn't match his way of learning. And finally he could be add/adhd, but as far as I'm concerned is over diagnosed and used to make regularly behave children robots so parents don't have to parent. It just makes me feel bad for those children that actually do have it. But that's my two cents for what it's worth.

K....You might want to try putting him in another Kindergarten class if possible. That might help since there is one kid that is bothering him.

L.

I have 3 boy's and my youngest who was in kinder last year had similar problems and what worked best for him was to switch to positive reinforcement he loves to help so the teacher would remind him she had a job for him when he finished his work or if he was quiet as for at home I would let him have computer time or video game 30 minuets if he was good all day this worked really well for me I let the teacher know also sometimes the reminder of if you good you get rewarded is enough to get through the day
Good luck
J. S

I have a little boy that was the same way. So many teachers these days find that our children are out of line when they can't sit still. They have to adhere to a set of rules that is meant for every child although every child is different. I know this because I was a teacher for 8 years until I decided to be a stay at home mom. I truly believe some boys are not made to sit still. I have four children, two boys and two girls. I decided to homeschool my child that was always up and about the classroom. Let me tell you how my son learned his OWN way. He reads standing up. He did his math out loud, not quietly (which in a classroom setting you are forced to do). He would sit and do his work in thirty minute intervals not made to sit still for hours at a time. He could eat when he wanted, use the restroom when he needed and go outside to let out energy anytime he felt like it because he was only a child! He is now in the sixth grade doing ninth grade work. The reason this worked for my son is because he was not made to sit still. He is an active child all around. He loves to talk alot, run a whole lot, play always and is always laughing. That is the type of personality that would have gotten him in trouble at school. Your son is just a child. I know teachers have to go by rules because you would have chaos in the class if you didn't. I understand that. To quickly they label children who have different personalities as ADD or ADHD. That is ridiculous! Many children have been medicated just because they couldn't sit still. Children weren't made to sit still. They are suppose to play freely and laugh freely. That is why I decided to homeschool. My son is so much happier now and I didn't have to change his personality in order for him to learn. I know not everyone can homeschool or believes homeschooling is the right thing to do but it worked for us. There isn't anything wrong with your precious little boy. He just a child who wants to play. I cried when I read this because it brought back memories. Of course your son can tell you everything he doesn't tell the teacher at school(as far as his learning abilities). You are his mommy. He is comfortable around you. As far as not acting up in daycare, well he played more there. I'm sure they had some kind of a curriculum but I'm also sure he had more freedom to play and laugh and speak. You just have to let your son be who he is. Yes, he has to learn to follow rules but not to the point where you change who he is. As a teacher, I knew how different God made each child. What a blessing to have a shy child,the child that is always laughing, the child that is always up and about, the one who ALWAYS listens and the poor little child who cried because he missed his mommy so much. When you go to that parent teacher conference, you tell his teacher my child is not like every child and has a different personality. What ways are you(teacher)going to work with my child? Don't feel like she is over you just because she is the teacher. She works for you! We as tax payers pay her salary. I had to come up with really creative ways to keep the few children I had in my class,that wouldn't sit still, BUSY! It wasn't easy but I did it because it was my job as a teacher to try EVERYTHING I could to help these children flourish. Most teachers are not willing to do that because,honestly,they don't want to. It's to much work for them. Isn't that what teaching is...a job? Of course you get so much enjoyment as well. But it is still your job to do everything you possibly can for your students to help them learn. I know I have written so much but I had alot I wanted to tell you. I hope this helps. God bless you!

I just had to let you know that this sounds a lot like my family two years ago. I thought my son was going to be learning challenged and have other problems because his kider teacher would write him up 3 or 4 times every week. My son had a hard time sitting still and following the teachers classroom rules. He was never violent he just liked to talk and he needed lots of encouragement, hugs, and reassurance all the time. Kinder was a big adjustment for him. I thought it was just a maturity thing but then he went to first grade... although he was way behind and they put him with a teacher that helped kids (she had a bachelor's in reading). The first grade teacher was so great that my son fell in love with her. She said all kids learn diffrent and if that meant my son needed to stand up or move a little at his desk then that was fine with her. She did special excersises during the day and had cranky cream if he started or any of the other kids started to feel upset or like they just couldn't deal then they could go use the cranky cream. ( I think it was just soap to wash away the frustration. I guess what I am saying is maybe your son's kinder teacher is not the one for him. If we had known then what we know now we would have asked for my son to transferred to another room. I am not saying that the teacher is a bad teacher or your son is bad just that sometimes people's personalities don't get along... their spirits don't mesh. Just something for you to think about before your son does fall behind. Good Luck to you and your son!

As a teacher I know that kids can act differently in school than at home. If you are still unhappy after your parent confernece meeting talk with the counselor or principal about moving your son to a different class to start fresh with another teacher. If he continues the behaviors perhaps you should look at other reasons for his behavior (bored, not interested) and adjust accordingly.

Home schooling is not necessarily the answer. Many people can't rearrange their lives to accomplish this task with their children. In addition, many students needs are not met in the home school setting. I have found that the home school children I have taught are not up to par when parents decide to put them back in school a few years later and have significant trouble adjusting academically and especially socially.

You also may want to talk to your pediatrician if you determine that his behavior is from something like ADD/ADHD.

Good luck with whatever you do!

K.,
Congrats on starting kindergarten! That is a big milestone. I have 5 year old twins in Kindergarten right now. Their teacher has a reward system that works VERY WELL.
They have a sticker chart in the form of a race car track. When they follow directions,
(i.e., sitting still during circle time; completing tasks on time, etc.) they receive a sticker
on their race track. Whoever finishes the race may choose a small toy out of the "treasure chest." Boy are my sons motivated to finish that race! The fact is that children need motivation, just like adults (Isn't it great to receive a bonus check after working hard?). Perhaps you could talk with the teacher about clearly communicating expectations to your son and rewarding good behavior consistently rather than punishing him every day. Sounds very negative.

Morning K.;

Our youngest son went thru something similiar to this in the
second grade! It was obvious to me that he didn't like the teacher and in her case, to me that was understandable. The school had 4 different second grades but the principal sided with the teacher (naturally) and to my dismay they put our son back in the first grade! I thought that was a mistake and told my wife and them it was but unless I wanted to go thru a long appeals thing I had to go along with it!

Apparently you son at the very first either was influenced by
the other kid or there was something about this teacher that he did not like. When children do not like a person they will
do things that are done to try and get out of the situation, they do not know they are doing this!

At your conference next week find out if there is another class that your son can go to, if not, put him into another school!! Even if you have to pay for it, you will be happier when he becomes happy and learning!
Do not let them talk you into medication!! That is their answer for turning kids in to behavorial robots! This ADD and
ADT and all the other A D Ds are just excuses, harms kids more than helps them
Do IT NOW!!! Do not let the school bully you into leaving him
in that class, because if you do it will set a pattern of disrespect that will last thru out his school and will hender him from learing!
B. C.

Can you make arrangements to sit in the back part of the classroom? You know your son better than the teacher and you may be able to identify with something.

MY daughter had some of the same problems in Kindergarten. So I voluntered in her class a few times. What I came to realize was that her teacher was not that great of a teacher. Don't get me wrong I know that teachers have a hard job but I really do believe that some of them should not be teachers. At the very least not Kindergarten teachers. Her teacher was very scatter brained and unorganized and that rolled down to the children. I would check into the classroom setting. Also talk to your child about what is going on at school. It just seems like things are not adding up. Good Luck

He is punished at school and I home. Does he ever have any free time to get rid of some of that energy. Make him play outside at least an hour after school to run around. Does he have any little friends his age in the naborhood? Maybe acting up is his way of getting attention. Does he get any praise for the work he does? Maybe there's something about the teacher that he doesn't like and he can't/won't relate to her. A change may do some good.

oooooh...hang in there! I was right there with you and then smething clicked after Ike and we have a whole new kid! My son is also in Kinder this year. Although, he did have some rough times in pre-K I thought bad behavior might be coming and sure enough it did. The best thing I did was to be an encouragement to my son...I quite puishing him every night for bad repoerts....he was getting ENOUGH negative atteion at school and I could see his self esteem going DOWN!! I didn however have talks with him about right and wrong and about how smart we knew he was and that we wanted him to model that for his teachers. I met with the teacher weekly so that she knew that we cared and were trying to help also. We started a behavior plan that the teacher came up with that she does at school for him and we went to the dollar store and let him pick out toys for each day of the week and any time he got a good report home he was able to pick one of the toys that he picked out., That worked!!! Now, we just give stickers and a dum dum sucker for good behavior. My so is a whole new kid! All I can say is love him as much as you can and try real hard to stay away for everyday disipline b/c he gets plety at school. We went that rought with our son until I saw that it wasn't working and we had to try a whole new approch with him. Hang in there and know that you are now alone. There we many nights that my husband I would just cry and pray for him...and after over 8 weeks of school I think we may have made a break through! Hang in there!!!

Hi K.,
I had a similiar problem with my daughter in 2nd grade. She could not keep up with the work (mainly reading)and was constantly in trouble. I talked to the teacher and worked with Bria every night. She was behind her class. The next year she had a wonderful teacher that understood how Bria worked. She was slower at her work because she is a perfectionist. Very meticulous. That 2nd grade teacher did not have the patience it took to figure out why Bria was not completing her work, and would make her feel so bad. I should have switched teachers.
It would be something to consider. Maybe another teacher will have more patience and the experience and be able to help your son feel good about himself at school.
Good Luck and God Bless!
D.

My sister is going through the exact same thing! They did placement tests last week and my niece brought hers home. she only got two questions right. My sister KNEW that she knew most everything on the test so she went over it with her...and she only missed one or two! She told her "If you had answered like that you would have passed the test." "Test? It was a test? I didn't know that, or I would have answered right!!!"

So, she purposefully answered wrong. why? I don't know, but it's driving my sister nuts. She's been sending her to school and homeschooling her in the evenings because her daughter doesn't do her work at school!

As for the teacher who posted below against homeschooling, there's a good likelyhood that those homeschooled students of hers were not doing well and so they were put in school...and would have very possibly had problems in school if not given special help anyway. Every child is different. Most children thrive in the homeschooling enviroment and it is total bunk that their needs aren't being met. In fact, in school the child's needs are met EVEN LESS then at home because the school has SO MANY students to care for/educate and in the home enviroment there are much fewer children per teacher and education can be tailored to meet the students' specific needs.

Homeschooled children typically score higher on assessment tests then public schooled children. Some colleges actually have recruitment specifically to homeschoolers (the college I went to much preferred the homeschoolers because they were self starters, more tolerant of diversity, and more dedicated to their studies.)

S., homeschool graduate, associates in child development, and homeschooling mom to 5

Dear K.,
Our second son had a similar problem when he started kindergarten. A normally sweet, playful, happy little boy changed and hated being left at school. His older brother was even given permission to go see him once or twice during the day. We finally had him moved into another class and the change was immediate. You've received alot of good information. This is a very important issue in your childs life but it could be solved simply - I hope that is the case with your son. Although I remember that experience like it was yesterday, those tears and smiles, that little boy is now 38 with children of his own. Good luck and God bless you all.

You should consider coming to visit the classroom to see what his teacher is talking about. But instead of just making a visit just for that, you should do so as a volunteer. Usually kids are on their best behavior when they know their parents are visiting their classroom for that reason. When you are volunteering, your child will be proud that you are there (be happy about that because once middle school comes, your child might be embarrassed). While volunteering, you will see how your child behaves naturally in school, see how the teacher teaches, and any other reasons that might be affecting him. School and daycare are very different. Also, at the upcoming conference, the teacher will show a lot of the testing they are mandated to give, and you will get a better idea of how he's doing academically. Some students take a while to get used to the rules and routines of a new classroom and it takes a while for the teacher to understand your child and how to work with him. Give it another month at least and only as a last precaution, change his class.

Have you tried having a sit down talk with him about it? That would give him the opportunity to tell you how he feels about school & maybe why he's disrupting the class. Maybe he is bored, or maybe he isnt use to such a structured day. This would also give you a good chance to speak with him about how important it is that he be respectful of his teacher & the other kids who are learning in the class. I also think you should go observe the class for a day or at least during the acitvities where he's having the most trouble. One thing my mom always did that made a big impact on me was on the 1st day of school she escorted me into the class & teacher & told me in front of my teacher the type of behavior she expected me to have at school. She then told my teacher, "If A. isn't following your rules please call me." I also knew that if I got in trouble at school, that punishment would pale in comparison to what I would get at home. Good luck!

I am having the exact same problem with my 5 year in old in Kinder. He has yet to come home without marks in in behavior chart. He has gotten 5 in a row since last Thursday. I don't know what to do. I know he in not entirely innocent but I wonder if he is just being picked on. I have seen it so many times when I was in school and thru out motherhood and seeing daycare providers and preschool teachers treat certain kids in class. They become marked and the teacher ends up nit picking anything they do or if someone screams or does something she didn't see, that marked kid ends up being blamed.
I know my son and I don't know the teacher, so it is hard to believe both of them entirely. He is 5 and at this age it is hard to know if they say things just because they think that is what we want to hear. If you ask them enough times or blame them enough for something, they will just believe they did it. My son is not a tattle teller at all. If a kid hits him, he will not tell he'll just hit back. If the teacher sees him only and gets after him for hitting, my son will never tell her the other kid hit him first. He will just take the punishment. That is sad but you have to see the big picture. Why is he talking during class. Did someone ask him a question? Was he telling them to be quiet and the teacher caught him while he was trying to say that? Does she observe most of the things he does or is someone telling on him?
My son got in trouble for hitting someone, when I asked why he did that, he said it was because she was in his face. I know my son, did he really hit or just move his arm in her direction to get away from him like a normal person would do and she told on him and said he hit her? Ya know I don't thinnk it is all him. I am not blaming this all on the teacher but maybe she needs to back off some and chill out herself. Switching teachers I don't think is the solution. Teachers talk and she will just tell the new one all about him and to watch out for him. There you go,he's marked. We started out not punishing him because we don't see the "alleged crime" ourselves but he is getting to many marks so we have grounded him and taken him out of soccer until he can come one week with nothing but stamps.We will have a conference with his teacher about this, and my husband and I have decided we need him(dad) home more so he will start coming home at a decent hour and eating dinner with us. My husbands line of work gives him that luxury. Well hope everything works out for both of us. I hope I have given you some insight.

Relax. You are not alone. It happens to us all sooner or later. Change teachers. This seems to work most of the time.

Hi K.,
Wow, you've gotten a lot of advice here. I didn't read all of them, I just wanted to tell you that it might be the teacher. Is she a newer teacher or has she been doing this for awhile? It sounds like she may not understand kindergartners very well. There is probably no other year where you will get such a wide variety of maturity & academic achievement levels. My oldest was a tomboy and would play with the boys in Kinder, but then at circle time she would get very upset and push them away because they wouldn't stop pestering her. She wanted to listen to the teacher but the boys wanted to keep playing. The teacher said it was a disruption but she didn't want to stop her because she felt she needed to be able to stand up for herself with those boys. If she had reprimanded her or marked her chart, my daughter would've become a wimpy little girl who felt she had to take the tormenting lying down. This was a lady who had been teaching Kinder for 25 years, so she had figured those kids out! I was so grateful that she understood my daughter's behavior and could see what was actually going on. It sounds like your son needs someone like that. Also, as another responder said, if he switched to another class it would get him away from the boy he is having trouble with. Also, have him tested for GT as soon as you can...maybe he is bored and needs more of a challenge. Good luck!

See if you cannot switch the teacher. It would also get him away from that boy that they get in trouble with. Also try going up there standing outside of the door. When his name is called for bad behavior open the door and tell him to come to you. Walk him away from the class as not to disturb them any more than they already have been. Eye to eye tell him what he is doing is wrong and why and he is not allowed to act like this. I wouldnt put him on any ADD or any meds yet. Try different old fashioned alternitaves first. Good luck.

My son had behavior problems early, and the teachers, counselors and nurses all made it sound like I just never taught him how to act. Turns out, he has a seizure disorder, ADHD, and several disorders that accompany that. Take your child to an independent phychologist for testing, ask your PCP if a nuerologist is in order.

It took us till he was in third grade to get a diagnosis, because I listened to the school system instead of taking him to medical professionals. Don't let them stear you wrong, they have to PAY for extra services, and don't want to be forced to.

My daughter started Kindergarten this year too. She is getting in trouble some too (refusing to do work, not paying attention, not following directions, etc.). In my opinion, she acts out when she is bored. She went to preschool, so she is super smart and has been doing alot of the same work for a year and a half. I've discussed this with the teacher, so she is working to challenge my daughter more. Also, when the teacher praises her for doing a great job and when she has her be a helper, passing out papers, and stuff like that... that seems to get better reactions from her. I've been told that sometimes when they get in to that slump of getting in trouble, that is what they know and what they expect. You have to do something different to get a different reaction from the kid. Talk with him about these things without punishing him... For instance, if he comes home with a note, ask him to explain what happened and ask him why he acted that way. Tell him that you understand he had a tough time today, but that you know he is going to do so much better tomorrow!! Stress the fact that you KNOW he can do so much better.. Remind him before he goes to bed that he is going to do so much better tomorrow and again in the morning before you drop him off. Be positive with him and see what happens. Kids are going to do whatever they can to get attention, whether positive or negative - if we give them the positive, they have no reason to do something to get the negative!! Hope this all makes sense.. I've had such a hard time with my daughter and we're still working on this too, but it is getting better!
Best of luck to you and your little man!!! =)

K.,
My youngest also was this way. Don't be discouraged though. What Colton's teachers and I worked out was a "schedule" that was taped to his desk or in a notebook. As each assignment was completed he got to color the square. Blue was for each assignment done correctly and without problems and red was for assignments that did not go so well. Colton was given a treat by me when he brought home a solid blue sheet at the end of the day. An extra book read, a peice of candy, or I would make his favorite food for dinner. At the end of the week or month as he got older it was a time off with Mom, no Dad or brothers or sisters. We would go to McDonalds or restaurant of his choice (as my money would allow)for good sheets. It sounds to me like your little one is a lot like my little one was and still is to some degree. Colton needs to be "seperate" from the rest of the class to be able to concentrate on what he is doing because he is easily distracted and does require that extra quiet.He was allowed to sit in the circle time, but usually closer to the teacher for the extra guidance. He is in the 7th grade now and is much better. He does not have ADD or ADHD but does struggle with some of his school work. The sheets are gone but he keeps a journal on what he needs to complete and marks them off as each is complete. When he was little the colored squares were easier for him to understand and now that he is older the journal is good. Hope this helps and I wish you the best.

I was curious to see the responses because we are in the same boat with my son. He's 5 and has a speech delay. The teacher said he's disruptive, etc. She is a new teacher. I did not know what to do when I saw her yell at him in his face for a mistake. We did try to move him to another class, but they were full. Then, recently, the substitute teacher did not see other kids bullying our son. And he will not or cannot say when this happens. We pulled him out of the class when I saw two kids screaming at him right in his face, making him cry. It was awful! When I went up to them, they just said he was crying (hoping I had not seen). I don't know how many times he has been provoked (he never had bad behavior at his preschool) or just blamed by the other kids and couldn't defend himself due to his speech delay. We hope to find another school. Wish you luck too.

Hello,

Your son sounds as if he is acting out due to frustration. I am a Dyslexia Specialist in Midland and your story sounds like many I hear from other parents. Go to www.brightsolutions.us and watch a free webcast, "Could it Be Dyslexia?" and see if your son has any of the warning signs of dyslexia. Dyslexia is common, 1 out of 5 have it, so it is the first thing to rule out. If you have questions after watching the video, please email me. You are smart to investigate now and not wait!!!! L. Irvin, M.S., CCC/SLP

K.,

Just wanted to comment on another issue I haven't seen addressed yet - your son may be too SMART for the class.
Both my husband and his brother went through this in grade school. My brother-in-law was actually told he was learning disabled (he's not). The problem was that the boys knew the material already or "got it" the first time their teacher introduced it... then became bored with the repetition of the lesson and started acting out, not paying attention, etc.
If your son can answer questions and do homework correctly with you, then I'd suspect he's getting bored at school since most other kids need the repetition and reinforcement to learn. Challenge him at home with workbooks (you can buy them or print your own worksheets online) and ask his teacher to reward him for finishing work correctly and giving him advanced work to keep him busy.
Most of all, encourage good behavior and talk with his teacher!! The more open you are with the teacher, the better chance you both have of working out this issue. She wants a happy, productive child just as much as you do.
Oh, one more thing - if it is possible to visit your son's class once in a while, do it. Having "surprise visits" may persuade him to stay on his toes (and best behavior) since he never knows when you or Dad will drop in!

If it's at all possible, PLEASE change teachers! My daughter went through this type of thing in Kinder and we changed (even schools) at Christmas and she did so much better! It sounds as though your son is this teacher's "patsy" (i.e., if anything happens its always HIS fault). Are there parents who help in his class that you are friendly with? If so, perhaps they could be your source of true information.

Hi K.
My little guy is in kindergarden too and will turn 6 in November, and he sounds a little like your little guy. His teacher grades them by numbers - 5 being the best. My son comes home with 3's & 4's , and twice has had a 2. She starts everyone out with a 5 and then as the day goes on, depending on their behavior etc, then it goes down or stays a 5 if they do everything they're supposed to do. The parents get a report card type sheet daily letting us know how the kids did that day. My son is very inquisitive, so having him do quiet time is hard for him. I don't excuse it, thats just how he is. He's a boy too and he's not a shy child. I have supported his teacher because I do feel thats important, at the same time I do wonder if he IS bored in his class. He's a super kid, and we have no problems with him thats out of the ordinary at home, and like yourself I rememebered no problems at all from his daycare teacher prior to him going into kindergarden.
Kindergarden is a whole new world compared to a daycare setting, thats gotta be hard for some kids to adjust to. I had another mom tell me to just give him him, not stress out over it, try to work with the teacher, have heart-to-hearts with your son, who knows by 1st grade he may have it turned completely around and be king of the class. :)))
Good luck.

K., I know what you mean trying to figure out what to do. We had a rough first two weeks with our son in Kindergarten, when during the second week, we finally had to remove him from school. I have talked with numerous people in the district who cannot believe the behavior of the "adults" in the situation and that they have never heard of any type of situation like ours before. It saddens me that he did not enjoy Kindergarten and is now afraid to go back to school. Although we have had to change our lives and schedules to home-school him, it has been amazing for me to see him so proud of what he's learning and especially of his not getting into trouble every day. He actually asks me every week to call his teacher and tell her that he's going to school at home now and he's not getting into trouble anymore. (He has been in time out during school time a couple of times since then, but overall, he does great.) This breaks my heart every time. It was supposed to be such a wonderful experience for him, and it just wasn't. He loves people and making friends, and he made one...the last day he was there. It just hurts me so badly when I think of it, because he LOVES learning. He always has. And he has looked forward to school for over a year.

I'm telling you all of this, because it may not necessarily be all your son's problem. We spoke with our son's teacher every day (when we picked him up) about his behavior, and she never mentioned anything terrible. Yet, in talking with the counselor, he was "defiant" about everything the teacher asked him to do.

Be loving and understanding at how scary or unsure this may seem to him right now. Try to put yourself in his shoes, and maybe there is something deeper...boredom or other issues. I wish you all the best in finding out. God bless you with understanding and love as you explore and deal with this. Take care!

Hi K., I don't have time to read all responses so sorry if I repeat what has already been suggested. My daughter is very strong willed and was in trouble almost everyday for the first month of school (including 2 trips to principal's office). Part of the problem is that they are teaching her stuff she's known since she was 3 (shapes,colors,letters,etc) and the other problem is that she doesn't like to be told what to do (more of a leader than follower). Anyway, I am working very closely with the school to adjust her behavior and have had good results so far. We made a daily chart and a "treasure box" (wrapped by her like a present except with a hole in the top to get the treasures). Each week I get small items to put in the box (i.e. Jacks, glow in the dark stars for ceiling, puppy calendar, glow bracelets, etc) and if she has a green day she gets to pick a prize when she gets home. When she gets a "green" day today, it will be 3 weeks straight of no "oops" notes or principal visits. If this is too expensive for your family substitute stickers for each day with a weekly activity if he gets all stickers (trip to ice cream shop). Good luck and God Bless!

hi i wish you well. sometimes a child and a teacher just don't get along. if after meeting with the teacher (take your son with you to the conference-i'd suggest)so you can see how they respond to each other. if things are not better i would ask for him to be in another class with another teacher.you say hes fine for everyone else........has the teacher singled him out? this does happen. myself personally would not punish my child daily-they get that in school. (hes learning to hate school at a young age)if you can-go to the school talk with the principal tell them what is happening and that you want to observe the class a few times. hopefully there is a window to the class so you can watch from outside the room. if need be sit in the class.(i have gone to school with my grandson on a few accasions-watched outside the class and also sat in the class)things to look for when at the conference-how does the teacher look at your son? how does he respond to her? is she a push over? is she overly strict? is he exsited at school? sad? as a mommy you will be able to tell alot. kids will be kids some teachers can't cope with little ones when acually they are not that bad. good luck i'd love to hear how things turn out.

My son had problems at the start of Kindergarten last year, so me, dad, son, and teacher all had a confrence and asked my son what the problem was. After that he did his work and was a great student the rest of the year. I think that he just wanted to know that mom and dad approved of his teacher and cared about him, because this year we had to do the same thing, because he wasn't finishing his work and was crying a lot. Didn't have any problems with him in Pre-K which was only 2 hours a day. I think that it was a big adjustment from Pre-K (2hrs) to Kindergarten (all day) then to 1st (don't take naps no snacks). Good luck.

Is their a behaviorist at the school that can asses the situation? He sounds overwhelmed by the class. There could be a million things going on with him in the classroom. The lights, sounds (like the rain of the roof) could distract him.... I have a son with high functioning autism and I know the slightest thing can distract him and make it hard to learn. He has an auditory processing disorder where he cannot process what he hears as quickly as the other kids. when tested on a computer with head phones, he could not keep up. In person, he can keep up-if folks are not too wordy. I am not saying your kid has autism by any means. But he should be followed bu some kind of doc to see what his learning issues are as it sounds like there is something in the classroom that triggers his behaviors. Like I said my first suggestion is to see what the school can offer for a behavior assesment. You might also want to have his hearing and vision tested to rule out simple issues there (not the silly testing that the school does;go to an optometrist and audiologist). I am sorry, I wish I had more specific advice. I *know* how hard this is and for you with a typical kid I imagine it is even more difficult.

A couple of thoughts on this to share with you -

What was the difference between his daycare and this K class - was the size different? How are the teachers different? How is the classroom different and how is it structured out? These are key bits of information for you.

I think that your child, if this hasn't been a problem before, is having trouble adjusting. Some teachers are just not good a fit with certain childrens personality; some classrooms are not set up so they are comfortable for some children, but rather feel disorganized or overwhelming to a child; Sometimes there are too many kids and that feels overwhelming too. It's a whole new world and a lot to get used to.

Further - have you asked the teacher if there is any pattern to your son's behavior issues - is it just after recess, just before snack, etc... He could be tired or wired depending on what is going on - does your son need to eat pretty regularly? - could his blood sugar be dipping? - this happens to kids under stress too and if he is feeling overwhelmed, that will dip his blood sugar. Could he be tired? Was he used to so much curriculum as in daycare? That's an adjustment in itself. Maybe he needs to be outside when he's stuck in a classroom and it's uncomfortable - he's just not used to it. How much time did he spend outside at daycare as compared to school?

What I am hearing this teacher tell you is a lot of "the problem" and not a lot of solutions, patterns, or insights. Did you find out what the personalities of the teachers are in this grade at your elementary school? Perhaps you need a better fit for your son. As you mentioned, he had no problem in daycare.

Further, you may want to get your son checked for sensory processing disorder - his behaviors sound similar to some of the characteristics of this disorder - which is because some kids are uncomfortable in certain situations and have difficulty learning adaptations to such discomfort. The school system can test him for this and anything else. Much of lower level disorders come out in a childs first year of schooling. It's best to find out now and help him - if you do not, he will have learning disabilities eventually.

I would just talk with your son - I would not punish him since that is not working. There are so many other reasons - other than naughty behavior, that could be going on here. Start asking questions to get to the bottom of it.

Good luck -
Alli

First the teacher might try switching from punishment to rewards. Getting a reward for a job well done is usually more effective than getting a punishment. Rewards could be 5 min. of free time, the chance to be a class helper, or even a sticker on a chart. The teacher might also ask someone else at the school (the VP, counselor, special ed teacher, mentor teacher) to observe your little boy and offer another opinion as to the cause of his behavior. Then the teacher could address the cause and eliminate the behavior.
Perhaps your shy son does not like the class free time and prefers to get his work done then? The punishment could be reinforcing his behavior! There should be lots of resources at the school for the teacher to tap into, as I mentioned above. Good luck!

Punishment doesnt work for anyone. You have to catch him doing the right thing and reinforce that.
More interaction with you and your husband is important. Your rules at home must be consistant. If he asks for a snack and you say no and he asks ten more times and then you give him.... we you just taught him that if you pester long enough you get what you want.
Buy the book 123 Magic. Good Luck!!
T.

I am a kindergarten teacher with over 20 years teaching experience and I have seen this type of situation before. Even though your son does not usually behave this way, even in his daycare class, he could be reacting to the new situation. He could very well be showing a change in behavior due to the new environment. Chances are that the class size is larger than it was in daycare and the whole situation, activities, etc., is stimulating him. Since the consequences he is being given are not working, I suggest changing them, at least on your part at home. That is also something you can discuss with the teacher at the conference. My concern is what are the activities he is not completing? Pencil and paper activities, at least too many, are highly inappropriate for kindergarteners. Such activities are not productive nor developmentally appropriate and have not been shown to be the best way children of this age work. It's been my experience that children such as your son seems to be, are usually successful with the hands on activities implemented in most kindergarten classrooms today. Also, I would praise the child for his positive behavior. He may also need a slightly different type of behavior system, that goes by hourly increments or subjects of the day so he can see his successes. This could also give you some clues as to something that might be triggering the misbehavior. Are the misbehaviors during the second half of the day when he may be starting to run on adrenaline? Does he have a rest time during the day? Without knowing more about your son and the classroom, I can't really say more except I wish you and your son the best.

I have read the responses you received, some of them. I am in total alignment with the people who say it is not appropriate for little children especially boys to be asked to sit still for long periods. The problems with boys that you are talking about are widespread because the changing state standards are demanding more and more time spent sitting in chairs doing paper and pencil work.
There is an amazing book written by Peg Tyre called "The Trouble With Boys" where she presents a highly balanced view on what is happening with boys with regards to ADD/ADHD diagnoses and the all the issues that lead boys to lose self-esteem early on in their learning. The main problem seems to be that the system is expecting boys to conform to a model that is not suited to who they are.
Schools are taking away recess time, and play time in favor of more academic time because there are now all these academic expectations for the kids, and there is less time available for centers, play, and running and outside time. It's just not normal or good for children.
I recently watched a school advocate for a young boy to be put on ADD meds because he was so "disruptive". I observed him for about five hours and could not see what they were talking about. He was the child who needed the most attention and the most redirection,but he did not disrupt the educational process of other children. There was quite simply nothing wrong with him. But the schools need children to be seen and not heard too much so that they can stuff their heads with facts that will be on the test.
Let's just pray they do away with testing emphasis soon so that some sanity can come back to our system.
But read that book. It's amazing.