Bedtime Routine - Taylor,MI

We're having the same problem and I wrote in and recieved a ton of advice. My son is 16 mos. now but I remember him going through this around 10 mos. too. What we're finding that whats working for us is my husband is putting him down, instead of me, when he can. The past few nights, since we started this, he's slept great and until the next morning. I don't know if it's going to work forever but for now I'm relaxing a bit. I know how you feel and like everyone says it is a phase and we just need to hang on a little longer and ride it out.

R.,

Bedtimes are definitely important, so starting your son out on a routine is GREAT. Although, it has been q few years since my two daughters were 10 months old, however, when I read your concerns it occurred to me that separation anxiety could be an issue; especially since your son is fine when you pick him up when you're done changing him. I would just encourage him by speaking to him lovingly or maybe try singing to him while you are changing him. My oldest daughter had colic, I was very sick and all she did was cry for 14 hours everyday. I do empathize with you, it is without a doubt frustrating. Lean on Jesus, He'll encourage you. I will be praying for you.

A little about me:

I have two girls ages 13 & 10, I have been married for 13 years.

Walking in HIS truth & light,
M.

Stop being frustrated by it. It is normal for his age. Just continue with your routine, you are a great mom.

R.,
You say it starts when you are changing his cloths, maybe he doesn't like the way the jammies feel. Are they footie jammies? Are you leaving his socks on with footie jammies? My kids never liked socks in footie jammies and didn't like the feet either by about a year old. I'd suggest trying a different type of jammies regardless of what you're using now. He may be getting to warm and he doesn't know any other way to tell you he's not comfortable. Hope this helps!

Rachelle

I had the same problem, and my little man was relentless!!! We changed the routine up (almost out of desperation). Chances are he is going through a developmental stage (getting ready to walk or something). His little brain is overactive, and he doesn't like the seperation from you. I think we ended up changing the routine to bath, milk and some idle quiet play downstairs with us, then we would slowly work in the book. I also started playing a different CD at night for him to change it up. We have actually gone through another phase like this once he started talking. It was a painful couple of weeks...but we changed his routine up a bit again and it seemed to work for us. It's almost like he felt a little more control over the situation...He's a pretty fiesty little boy!! Good luck!!

Does he scream only when you're changing him, or from that point till he falls asleep? If it's only when you're changing him, that's normal--for some reason, toddlers sometimes go through a faze of resisting their diaper/clothing changes. You can tell him "No!" so he understands that tantrums are not allowed.
If he's crying because it's bedtime, this is probably due to separation anxiety, which begins around this age. When babies realize that you are a separate person, they develop separation anxiety when you're not in sight because they do not yet have object permanence (the understanding that just because you're out of sight doesn't mean you're gone forever). You may be in for some months of staying with him till he falls asleep. Your instinct of playing peekaboo is a good one though--the game helps babies develop the concept of object permanence. Hang in there, and enjoy your son! He'll grow out of babyhood before you know it.

I would see about changing his type of pj's to see if that helps. My youngest, who turns 3 in April, went through a phase just recently where she would change her pj's at least once, sometimes twice, a night. After posting to this sight, I started letting her pick out the pj's - instead of the fleecy ones with footies in them she grabed shorts & a t-shirt. I checked on her a couple times that night - both times her legs were very warm. She's slept in summer pj's since - has always been warm, and doesn't change her pj's any more. Granted your son is a lot younger, but it may be that there is something uncomfortable with his current pj's and so his crying is his way of trying to tell you that.

R.,

That was the about the same time that my son started really understanding that the routine meant bedtime. We used to read the same book every night and he would start crying as soon as the book came out. I think if you stick with it, it will pass. It did not last more than a few weeks with my son. Once he was about 15 months and could communicate more, he actually started looking forward to bed, because he could ask for the book and ask for his pacifier and blanket and all that. Stick with it though, in the end the routine will continue to make sure that he gets a good night's sleep.

my son is 13 months. At 10 months, he did the same thing - its that now he knows that its time to go to bed and since he doesnt want to, he thinks that if he throws a fit I will allow him to stay up. Keep with the routine - eventually he'll get it that you are not going to give in. If you give in to him now and change the routine, he'll know that he'll be able to do that later on too! Ive even read articles in mags and his dr told me that stick to the routine and then after its done and hes still not sleeping, then put him in his bed and leave him in his room - if he crys, just let him for a moment and if it continues, go in there, lay him down and then tell him its time to go to sleep and leave again. Maybe try a nite light. He may cry himslef to sleep or may just stop crying (like my son) and look around and eventually fall asleep. Its hard to just listen to him cry and its almost heart breaking, but in the long run, it will be worth while to you and him!

GOOD LUCK!!!

It sounds like he is trying to tell you that he is not happy about the day being over. He is probably fighting to stay awake at this point and that is hard to do if he is laying down. Dress him as much as possible sitting up and only lay him down when you have to. It can be a bit aukward with the lay down and sit up and lay down, but my son loves it. He gets to keep moving and no more crying. He even helps put his arms in his sleeves now. When I lay him down to put his feet in his sleeper I kiss his toes goodnight and he giggles long enough for me to usualy get the zipper up. He is at the stage where he doesn't want to lay down like a baby anymore. He wants to sit up like mom and dad. I hope this helps! I went through this awhile back and I know how fustrating it is. I just let him move around now and thankfully I can still keep up with him.

You have a very smart little boy. He is seeing how you react. He is delaying the process and it's working. Stick to the routine and let him know you are the parent. It is hard, but if you don't establish that, it will only get harder.

Also review how long he is napping. I had one child that didn't require as much sleep and we needed to shorten his nap time, so they would go to bed when I needed them to in order to get work done at the house.

Hi R.,
It could be he's just going through a phase of not wanting to go to bed. I have 2 boys (4 and 2) and they have gone through phases of crying before bed because they don't want to go to bed. Does he cry when you put him in his crib?
Chris

My daughter did the same exact thing at that age(now 16 months old). I think it might be the age or something b\c my g-friend just told me her 11 month old starts freaking out and screaming when she changes her diaper. Same thing. Does he have a problem going to bed though??? If not I would have to say that its a phase and this too shall pass. I know its easier said than done.

My grandson, does this also, I find the bath energizes him so he fusses (plus he does not want to leave the tub) I have changed up his routine _ baths earlier, put him in sweats, and I have a halo Sleep sack (for sids) we play and then when he gets tired around 7:30 or 8pm he climbs in my lap for cuddle time and sometimes a book and he is asleep in no time - Then I take that Halo Sleep sack and put him in this and I don't have to worry about not being to cold in his sweats since the sack is a wearable blanket and I have no problems at all.

Good luck

R.-
Don't worry! My son is a few days short of 11 months and for the past few months he gets VERY upset when I lay him down to put his PJs on! Is he crawling yet? Once babies become mobile they HATE to just lay down and not have control of what is going on. I know when my son started crawling around 8 months it's been hell trying to change his diaper or clothes since then! One thing to check, which I am sure you have, is that his pajamas aren't too small or pinching him anywhere. My son wears the footed PJs and I know it can be VERY uncomfy when they are too small. But if he is fine when you pick him up then I am sure he just doesn't want to be laying there when he could be moving! Does he do that when you change him in the morning into his clothes? One thing I do it to give him something I know he loves to play with, like my car keys, or my cell phone. He usually has a bottle or sippy cup with water and I will give that to him and it seems to work for the minute I need to dress him!

Your son is at the usual age for separation anxiety, which might last a couple of months. He doesn't realize that when you are out of sight, you still exist. It's a developmental thing. This is why they like Peek-a-Boo so much at this age. It reassures them and can help them resolve this fear. He will need a lot of reassurance for awhile and he will grow out of this, probably soon. Don't worry - he will not do this forever. As an adolescent, he'll be glad to have you out of his sight! I wouldn't over do it but I would comfort and reassure him and do whatever was needed until developmentally, he doesn't face bedtime and other separations with fear. G. B.