Bedtime Has Taken a Turn for the Worst...

When my DD was 3 all heck broke loose! I almost sold her to the gypsies! Anyway, check out the book "The No-Cry Sleep Solution for Toddlers & Pre-schoolers", there is a lot of good advice on bed time routines and how to deal with all the "requests" for a drink of water, use the potty, etc.

Good Luck!

JUST going thru all this with my son of 29 mos. The last 4 days not sooo bad. Day One, I took away his nap, just so he'd be tired enough to got to bed by 6:30/7 wokred like a charm!! He slept 12 hours right thru...next day i gave him a shorter nap of 12-1:30 did the same bedtime thing so I stayed consistent. I left his room, he got up turned on his light and played. I braced myself thinking I was in for another womper of a night. Then I saw the gate I use to use until he broke it..so finally I went back to the last thing that worked.. he saw the gate and realized he couldn't come out of his room but this time I put it on my side of his doors,, he played relatively quietly for25min, asked for help with his blanket and went to sleep with a gentle 'Close your eyes now it's time for sleepies' and a kiss. Not bad,, in his room at 7 asleep for 7:30 I can do that. So I did the same exact thing the next night.. not tooo bad,, he did try his luck asking for help with his blanket 3 times...

the only thing I do for the 'every excuse in the book' trick, is to ignore them,, when I put him down I tell him exactly what I will do and I don't waver.. so what if he cries (it's just another ploy) as long as I know he's not hurt so I tell him,, I will help you ONE time then you do it yourself I will give you ONE hug/kiss whatever... we'll see you in a little while,, kiss kiss.. stuff like that.. then once the gate is up.. I ignore.. until he asks for help with is blanket

The crying I use to hate,,then a couple weeks ago,, in an all out cry hard as can be he caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror and stopped cold with a really amused "hi, there i crying" then he went right back to the tears that almost got me in the door.

Glad to hear I'm not the only one struggling thru this. I have 3 year old twin girls who were great sleepers until potty training started. Congrats on the no diaper! I havent won that battle yet. Does your daughter still take a nap? I find bedtime is less of a struggle when they haven't and an all night affair when they have. My mother's advise to me is always, be consistent, don't give in because they will always remember when they win and continue to try again and again. I look forward hearing what other advise you get.

We came up with giving our son a "free pass" -- just one -- that he can use for one post-bedtime visit from Mommy or Daddy. Once he uses it, that's that, and there's a gate outside of his door so he can't escape. It's a structured thing: we tuck him in with free pass (for us, a fancy certificate, but any little object would work, too), nightlight on, and cuppy of water, and we go. He calls us back once (usually to sit with him for 2 minutes -- I'm specific), and then he gets one shout from downstairs (""You used your free pass; it's time to sleep. Growing boys need sleep. I love you!") After that, he sometimes cries or shouts, but that's his choice. He is a growing boy, and this gives him some control over bedtime, but we don't get sucked in to the manipulations kids can get so good at.

A little about me: I'm 8 months pregnant and have an almost-3 year old. I work a flexible schedule so my little guy gets used to me being always available... so we're working on independence at home.

Time to make another equally as comforting bedtime routine,

I put one in the crib with a pacifier, and the other in my bed

During the days not one problem, but at night, whole other story

I suggest you NOT keep her days as busy,

I put my kids to bed at 830 pm NO later

But since its spring time we have been playing harder, so we NAP LONGER OR LATER.

As a result our once perfect routine has been changed

What i do is play outside earlier in the morning,
we actually eat our breakfast on the deck in the moring which makes for easy clean up.

Then we play for about an hour come in clean up
and make lunch,
After lunch we wind down watching Its a BIG world or
MR Rogers Neighborhood

THEN we laydown for our nap.
THEY ARGUE but I don't argue back,

And my 3.5 year old who didn't normally nap, NOW NAPS.

When they awaken, we GO outside AGAIN make dinner, do home work and play, eat outside on the deck.

I clean up while my husband keeps an eye on the kids, and when the lights turn off, ITS time to come in.

We watch a show, or take a bath but at 9pm BED

My little guy goes in his crib or with daddy downstairs if he refuses
and my 3.5 er goes in my bed,
And i lay down and sleep with him til he feels comfortable, and then drifts off to sleep.

I get up leave him there, do laundry and in about 15 minutes I carry him to his bed.

THEN its round 2 -- Little man gets a pacifier and cuddles, and in a few minutes he drifts off to sleep.

And again I carry him to his crib.
( sometimes daddy lays down, and sometime he just drifts off easily in the crib.)

Point is I am flexible routines don't last forever,
they change with the seasons.LOL

Good luck

M

We went through this when my firstborn was 3.5. (With my 2nd and 3rd, I took away the binky when they were 6 months old--old enough that they don't "need" to suck as much, but too young to fight about it!) We found that short increments of time (5 minutes, then increasingly longer) chipped away at the problem. We would put him to bed, and say, "No more hugs--it's sleeping time. I will come back and check on you in 5 minutes, but you have to be completely quiet and try to sleep." Then you ALWAYS keep your word and go back in 5 minutes, on the clock. Just check in and maybe give a quick hug, then leave for another 5 minutes. I think it takes some of the anxiety away from the child about having to get from wide awake to sleeping all alone! It's just like sleep-training an infant, but this time the child knows what's going on.

I have a 5-year-old and we've adjusted our bedtime routine a few times...while keeping the main points the same. I'm not sure what you're doing now, but our daughter gets a shower/bath, then brushes her teeth, then says goodnight to whichever parent isn't reading, then we do 2 books, a bible story, hugs and kisses, and lights out. She sleeps with a fan on for "white noise" in the background, and currently has a night-light on (a dim one in the cornder)--her room is very dark other than that. We go through spells where she's up and out of bed a lot, but generally this works well. Once you've picked a routine that works out well for you guys, stick to it! Having consistent routines can help you all stay sane. Also, you may want to look at her nap schedule and bedtime schedule...if she still naps you may want to cut it shorter or make it earlier so she is tired by bedtime. My daughter can get totally overtired/overstimulated and get very hyper and almost "fool" someone into believing she's "not tired"--instead she is overtired. Good luck with your new routine.

Hello, i had one that would just not give in at bedtime, she never liked her crib and always slept with us. We found that if we put music on for her and at first we would sit in her room with her then we slowly worked our way to sitting in the door way and finally we would sit in the hallway and after about 3 weeks she would go without any problem. You may have to start bedtime alittle earlier to avoid her getting over tired and having a struggle, also by the time you are sitting in the hallway it is a nice time for you to take 10 minutes to yourself and read a book while your little one is falling asleep. By starting a little earlier than normal this gives you the much needed time after she is asleep to be an adult and get done what you need to get done! Good luck.

E. the bedtime routine that I used with my four children seemed to work - bath, bedtime story on my lap, tucking in and saying goodnight. I left the door open, so that I could hear them, and so that they knew I could hear them. They didn't get up and come looking for me, but occasionally called to me. I always answered, but did not go into their rooms.

D. R.

We gave our binky's to Santa Claus this past Christmas and bedtime became a battle just like that. She's not fully trained yet though (she just turned 3 today!) and is kinda refusing the potty. I am also 9 months pregnant with our 2nd child and I don't want to push her either until after the baby comes. That's what her pediatrician suggested when I asked him for potty training tips. Anyway, as far as bedtime goes, you just have to stick to your routine like glue and it will ease up because eventually she will learn that she can't pull this stuff and she will stop. Bedtime has only just started to be normal again like 2-3 weeks ago. She was great at going to bed then binky's left and it was rough for a while but it's back to normal again now. You just have to stick to your guns. We actually put a latch lock on her door and we have to lock in her at bedtime. She doesn't try to come out anymore, maybe once in a blue moon, but last year when she first got her big girl bed it was pretty bad. As soon as we know she's asleep we go in and check on her. It's only locked for falling asleep time and also when she is being punished. Good luck with everything! It will ease up soon, I promise!