Hi,
My daughter is 4 weeks old. She tends to be awake quite a lot from about 5pm until 10 and stays pretty calm if held most of the time. I feed her for the last time around 10 and put her to bed.. she doesnt cry too much anymore before falling asleep at that time. But if I try to put her to sleep before this 10:00ish hour... no way.
In your opinion- at what age can I begin a nighttime routine that starts earlier? A routine with a bath (even if just warm water with no soap), a swaddle and a bottle? I'd like to get her to fall asleep before 10:30 pm soon if possible. Or is she just to young?
Thanks!
In my experience (I have 4 children 9 and under), an earlier routine is nearly impossible until they are about 3 months old. The routine itself is possible, but not according to YOUR timing. When she's 12-15 lbs, you could start backing the routine (which she'll be used to by then) up 15-30 minutes a week. Don't worry, it will happen. For now, just enjoy your baby. :o)
You can start the routine at any time. At 4 weeks, I would keep her at the 10 pm and as she sleeps through the night and wakes up later, move it back bit by bit. If you are into schedules, you can also start that now during the day too, but that is up to you.
I think you are doing well getting her to bed at that time. She still shouldn't go more than 4-5 hours without feeding at night so if you can get her to sleep 10:30 to 2:30 or 3:30 you are doing well. Between 7 and 8 weeks she will naturally start stretching this time and may sleep a little longer. Once she can go 10:30 to 5 a.m. then you can start pushing the last feeding back. But you may have to wait a couple more months for that. I know every baby is different and bottle fed babies may be able to go longer than breast fed - but that was my experience with all three of my breast fed babies.
You can be in charge of the schedule. Look at your daily routine, and see where you can adjust her sleeping patterns. Like awaken her a little earlier in the morning, then move all the daily stuff up. Do it a little at a time, and she'll adjust without a problem. The one thing to keep in mind is that she is only a month old, and needs to be fed frequently. So if you are hoping to get her to sleep through the night, don't try. My boy was about seven months old before he slept through the nigh. I was nursing him at about 8:00, then 10:30 or 11:00 and one last time at about 2:00 am.
As for a bath time routine, we didn't start a routine with our boy until he was about 10 months old. That's when we started nightly baths. I don't have any advice about a routine with a newborn. When my boy was an infant, I would bathe him when I felt physically strong enough, about every 3 days. And if I was too weak or tired, my husband would do it.
Babies are physiologically unable to adhere to a strict routine until about 4 months of age. Even after 4 months, some babies adapt to a routine sooner than others. I know as a mother of 3 one of which is just 2 months old that you likely long for some predictability and control over your babies sleep/wake habits. I learned the hard way with my my first child that trying to enforce a strict schedule just makes Mom and babe that much more uptight and less likely to enjoy life. Please try to be flexible with your little one. This stage will soon be gone and on to the next challenges. Oh, and by the way, not all babies sleep through the night consistently when others think they should at about 8 weeks. My first baby slept through the night at 18 months and my second at 22 months. Just follow your heart and don't get too caught up in doing things "by the book". What you describe about your daughter's typical evening is completely normal. Relax and enjoy mothering through each stage. Congrats on the birth of your daughter! R., Midwife mom of 3.
She's still very young and needs to be fed a lot! For the first few months with both of my kids it seemed that they would eat around 7 or 8pm and fall asleep. I didn't count this as their bedtime because they would wake up to eat around 10pm and then after that feeding they were down for the night. Around 3 months when they hit that growth spurt they started to get really fussy around 7/7:30, they'd nurse and go to sleep at 8pm and be down for a good 6 hours. So, they both started it themselves and I think that's pretty normal. Your daughter just needs to get a little bigger so she can go longer without food. Give her a couple more months.
(My kids are now 3.5 years and 6 months and they both did this.)
I totally understand your desire to get her in a great routine and sleeping as well as possible. I fully believe that you will achieve that and should stay focused on that goal. However, at this age, you are at her mercy. You should wait a few months at least. Then, slowly but surely move her towards that goal bedtime. Only moving her bedtime up about 10 minutes per week after she's about 4 months old. She may suprise you and move her bedtime up all on her own. Relax and enjoy this time with her. -Mom of 4 kids under age 7.
You have to get the book 12 hours of sleep by 12 weeks old. I promise this book is amazing!!! Its very easy to read too. My daughter was severe colic and reflux and I still was persistant with starting her bedtime routine around 8 weeks and continued and she was sleeping 12 hours a night from 7-7 around 4 months old. I sware by it. goodluck,. Sleeping and day time napping is sooo good for them too! Everyone constantly says she is such a happy baby. BC she is finally well rested.
