Battle with the Binki/Pacifier

My doctor recommended to have my daughter actually throw it in the trash herself and we were reading a kids book bye bye pacifier, it worked like a charm. Good luck!!

Hi M.,
You have a lot of good advice on how to take the binky away, she will get over it quickly and it will not scar her for life. There are so many bigger things to come this will not even be a dot on her radar.
Good luck,
SarahMM

You will have a easier time if you don't put it back in his mouth at 2am, let him fuss for a while, rub his back, try a music box but if you don't break the habit now since he is so dependent you will be sorry later. I truly believe after the age of one bottles and pacifiers become a "crutch" for parents to stop the crying and provide an immediate fix, however it really adds up to causing more issues after the age of one when the dependency is there. For me after my kids had one both until about three mos, then they started babbling they showed little interest in the pacifier so I just never used them again! No problems, I realize that isn't the case for everyone. For infants I see their positive use for sure, now reducing SIDS and allows the sucking they need to do. So far this week there have been like four or five posts about giving up the pacifier.

I just saw the cutest book at Target, called No More Pacifiers by Melanie O Brien, it may be a book you want to try and read to your son. YOU ARE NOT damage your children when breaking a bad habit, teaching good healthy sleeping habits is a GOOD thing for parents to do.

Just because a child is attached, doesn't mean you cannot undo that, getting a new stuffed friend, which doesn't cause speech or dental issues is a better choice. Kids like comfort objects which I whole heartedly support, however ones that will be hard and cause problems down the road are the ones moms and dads need to break as early as possible.
Do it over a weekend where you can make up for some lost sleep but young ones have short term memories and a few nights without it he will learn to fall asleep and stay asleep himself. Good luck.

I think it depends on how well your little boy can understand things. My little boy would not understand where his binkie went at 18 months. So I personally, don't think it's a big deal to wait longer if there is no harm being done. I am a believer in comfort items, especially when I had a baby that wouldn't comfort himself with a binkie, thumb, blanket, or toy. THAT was hard. I know it sounds silly but I wish that at 2 AM, I could just give him his binkie and help him lie down again. We had major struggles. :) So now my opinion has changed. I love comfort items. I know it goes against the books and what some doctors say, but you know what? You just do what's best for your child. If you feel like he is extremely dependent on it, why fight it yet? When he's old enough or when you think he will understand, I heard a fantastic thing on here from another mom.. a little while ago. She said that she explained to her child that all the new little babies coming needed binkies. So they put the binkies in a box and set it on the front porch for the binkie fairy. The fairy came and took the box and in it's place, left a fun toy. And whenever the child asked for the binkie, the mom said, "Remember we gave them to the binkie fairy to take to all the new babies." I thought that was cute.
When you do discontinue the binkie, I'd make sure to replace that with some other comfort item.. a soft blanket or toy or something. Anyway, that's how I would do it with my child, but every child is different. In the end, you, and only you will know what will be best for your child.

It is funny how so many people make such a big deal about pacifers and taking them away as soon as possible, and giving them a stuffed animal or blankie instead as if that is so much better? My little boy loved his binkie and I use to tell people I didn't care if he was 45 and still using it, he doesn't like stuffed animals or blankies and I am so glad because binkies are so much easier to keep clean and carry around. My Dad is an orthodontist and his advice to me "It is so much easier for a binkie to disappear when the time to right, than to cure a child of tongue thrust or chop off fingers or thumbs that at age 10 they still haven't stopped sucking".
Final results my little boy(mind you he was down to only using at naptime and at nightime)one day at about age 3 handed me his binkie and said "I don't like binkies" and I said okay would you like to throw it away" and he marched over to the trash can and threw it out and that is the last I've heard about it, case closed. Even better I won't be sending a tattered stuffed animal/blankie in his backpack to Kindergarten!! I'm a Kindergarten teacher and you would not believe how many kids have to bring their special animal to school, but try hide it so no one will know.

With my first daughter she had a huge attachment to the binky. I was very proactive about taking it and the bottle away around 1 year old. I changed the bottle to a cup right at a year and then at about 18 months took away the binky. I did it cold turkey, just told her that binky's were for tiny babies and she was getting to be a bigger girl. It may sound mean, (funny as it sounds, it sounds mean to me as Im writing this and Im the one that did it!) But in reality, in two days she was fine without it. She did continue trying to take them from other kids/babies when she was around them. Now I'm working on removing the sippy cup dependency from my youngest, and somehow I'm not as strongwilled as I was with the other one! Youre not going to damage your child if you dont take away the binky when everyone else says you should. Start by weaning him at naptime, then once he is okay with taking a nap without it, start taking it at night. Just be consistant and dont give it back once you've taken it. Throw them ALL away and then you won't be tempted to give in. Good luck!

yeah, just tell him binky broke. for bed times, you can try comforting him every 5-20 minutes until you feel like he's ok.

He probably is dependent on the binki, but giving it to him at 2 am is only going to make him MORE dependent on it. I think you need to find a way to get him to learn to fall asleep on his own. That's a skill that he'll need for life. Taking away a binki isn't going to harm him psychologically. Now, letting him still have his binki at 5 years old WILL damage him psychologically!
My son hasn't used a pacifier since he was 8 weeks old (he didn't like it anymore) but still woke up every night about your son's age (just a few months ago). I thought I'd die, I was so tired! I tried rubbing his back, and he'd calm down, but I was so groggy and delirious that I couldn't do it for the 10 minutes he needed to go back to sleep. To compound the problem, he was sharing a room with his 4 year old brother, and there were other sleepers within earshot.
Finally, I grabbed my pillow and lay down on the floor next to his crib. He could see me and feel my presence, but I wasn't reeling (I get dizzy when I'm that groggy) or feeling sick (I also feel sick to my stomach sometimes). I think I fell asleep once, but he usually would fall asleep first, then I'd go back to my bed. After a while, he just started sleeping through the night again.
Good luck!

My kids were never binkie babies, so I don't have a lot of personal experience, but one of my friends had an interesting idea that worked for her:

When her daughter was turning 2, they said she was a big girl and that she wouldn't need her binkie any more and that the "Binkie Fairy" would take her binkies to the babies.

So, prepping her well in advance, at her 2nd birthday party they collected all the binkies she had and tied them to helium balloons. She then got to release the balloons and the binkies were off! She watched them go, a little hesitant, but never cried. Her mom said that night she asked for one, but they reminded her the binkie fairy took them and she said ok, and never asked again. Good luck!

I have a cousin who was a 4.0 student and she did her homework in her room with a binki in her mouth...no kidding. She swore it helped her concentrate. She is a wonderful person and took our teasing very well. This to me is the extreme. With my kids that took the binki, I would slowly wean them by letting them only have it during nap/night time and if they sat really well on my lap during church. When they wake up, I take it from them and leave it in the bed. If they have a hard time, then I would let them say "bye-bye" to the binki, or we would play a game to make it fun to leave it in the bed. And for church, if they didn't sit on my lap, they didn't get the binki. Slowly they wean themselves and then I don't have to fight it.
As for timing, I do this about the time they are starting to talk. I think it hurts their speech if they are trying to talk with a binki in their mouth and find it crazy to find three year olds that have to remove their binki to ask for a drink or to talk to their parents. When they start to babble, take it out of their mouth and start leaving it in the bed...though I leave some in my car as we are there a LOT.

So this is my two bits on the matter!

you could always do what my mom did to me and my two brothers and use hot sauce or pickle salt on the binky and he wont want it anymore....unless hes like my cousin and loves hot sauce at a young age. just something you could try.

Both my boys were super attached to their pacifiers. Our oldest was 22 months and talking well, but would talk thru his pacifier, so we braced ourselves and told him it was time to say bye bye to it. We had him throw it away, took the trash out to the big bin and told him to say good bye. We made a big deal about how big he was, praised him and then after big smiles, he cried...and cried...and cried. That first night was a little rough, but by the 3rd night he was great! His baby bro had one still, but only once did he attempt to put it in his mouth.
Our second son did the same throw away thing at 19 months, and when bed time came he said "nana?" and I reminded him "we threw it away, remember?" and he said, "Oh." turned over and fell asleep!
Believe me, it is not the child that needs the pacifier, it is much harder on the mommy!
Good luck, be strong, no time is better than now! It won't get easier as they get bigger.

i know how you feel . i too sometimes feel like a single mom even though i have been married to a work aholic for 17 years in oct. but here is the advantage to that. you have pretty much all the say so when it comes to parenting . the binky is more for you! your baby will adapt swiftly if you just take it away cold turkey it will take up to as many as 2 days but then your whole family will get back to a good nights sleep. i used a disrtaction method. cut back on nap time and wake baby as early as possible. this will ensure his need for sleep and will help him go to bed without a binky. there were a few occasions when i used motrin to help BABY GET A RESTFUL SLEEP. STAY STRONG AND BE PROUD OF YOUR HUSBAND FOR WORKING SO MUCH. TRY TO PLAN A DATE NIGHT . EVEN IF YOU HAVE IN THE BACK YARD WITH THE BABY MONITOR. IT IS THE NEED FOR QUALITY ALONE TIME AND I AM NOT TALKING ABOUT JUST S-E-X. GOOD LUCK AND GOD BLESS!!

I know doctor's say that a child's binki should be taken away by 18 months, but I don't agree with that. We actually didn't take our oldest son's away until he was three. He needed that extra comfort at night. And to take the binki away before he is two is hard. They start getting their two year molars and want something to chew on to help with the pain. I think you should do what you feel is right.

I went through the pacifier thing with both my boys and they were both very attached to it. My pediatritions said the same things and with my first boy I did stop early, around two and he went right to biting his nails. I feel like maybe I stopped it too early for him...I don't get the big deal about it being bad for their mouth. My second son we waited until he was three. For both kids we put the pacifiers in a zip loc bag that we took to toysrus with. The kids picked a special toy and paid for it with the pacifiers. The second time the cashier was great and went with the whole idea. Both kids had a week of hard nights but we let them have their toy in their room those nights and reminded them of their awesome new toy. You just have to make sure you don't back out of it once you decide to do it. Good luck.

Hi M.,
My daughter was very reliant on the pacifier, so much so beyond nap and bed times that her top gum line was starting to reshape. I punctured the binkies with a small hole at the top; my daughter didn't like, and would fuss for less than 10 minutes; I also gave her a small cat blanket (with a cat head and feet on opposite ends) to chew on and in 3 days, no more binky. She was 9 months when we did this. It may be a bit more work with an 18mo old. Good luck! M.

It's a good idea to wean them off - even the Ortho approved ones can ruin their teeth.

We had a Binki Fairy (just like the tooth fairy) It worked really well. She was so excited about getting a couple of quarters, she started looking for B's and even tried giving away her baby brothers!! :)

Good luck!
C.

I had the same problem with the binki. We actually didn't get rid of it till my daughter was about 2. Our Doc said it was better to have the binki longer rather than have them switch to sucking their thumb instead. There are more orthodontic implications with thumb sucking than binkies. We lost her binki one night and it was a rough time but we made it through the night. We found it a couple of days later and my husband and I decided to "let it stay lost". Kids just need security and comfort. Replace the binki for a blanky or a bear. I had a friend who gathered up all the binkies in the house and took her daughter to "Build-a-Bear" and let her trade in her binkies for a new bear. The employee suggested that her daughter actually put all her binkies inside the bear while they were stuffing it. That way she could sleep with her binki bear and still have the binkies-she just couldn't suck on them. Great idea. My daughter is almost 3 now and she just kind of grew out of the binki, blanky, and everything else stage. When they're that tiny they need security but they'll grow out of it. Be patient. Good Luck.

p.s. I'm an RN and my husband is working and in grad school too - I know how you feel, never seeing your husband. It's hard, but keep your chin up. I have good days and bad days. Anyway-blah-blah-blah. Good luck with the binki thing.

I think if he is only using it when he is sleeping you don't really have a problem. As far as him getting up at night w/o the binky and crying, get small plastic container cut slits in it and zip tie it to the rail on his crib. Put an extra couple of binkies in their and show him where they are and tell him he can get one for himself in the middle of the night. Also I wouldn't cut them because bacteria will build up inside. Before my daughters 2nd b-day we warned her that when she turned 2 she would have to give up her pacifier. After her birthday we took her favorite binky and tied it to a balloon. We sent it up to heaven for the new babies. She fussed about it for 2 days, but it never really was a big deal. If you don't like the baloon idea use a magic box. Have him put all of his binkies in the box before he goes to bed. Tell him that he will get a special big boy suprise if he gives up his binkies, and goes to sleep. In the morning there will be a coveted item (maybe a stuffed critter, or something new and comforting he can sleep with) in the box and the binkies will be gone.

My son just gave up his binki one day. I wouldn't worry too much about his age. ALL children grow and mature at different rates. When your child is ready, he will simply give it up on his own. Too many people go by a strict guideline, all children are different and will move into the next stage when they are ready. Don't fret the small stuff!

All 3 of my kids used these and all 3 stopped using it between 2 and 3. As long as you have an orthodontically approved one, don't worry about it! If it helps you all sleep through the night then fine! My biggest reason for stopping them was it was slowing down their speech as they always talked with it in. We began the process of limiting it just for naps and bedtime. I had no problem with this!!! We would lose some, etc and I just stopped buying them. My son, 2 1/2 bit through his last one several months ago and that was it. I told him he broke it and he was very sad. I have given each of my children a small present to take to bed in exchange for their pacifier. He was very excited to open his gift and take it to bed instead. We had a day or 2 of difficulty, and that was it. It was the same way with my girls. Don't sweat it. When you are ready to stop, have a plan and go for it. Until then, don't stress!

Your child won't be damaged for life by having a security item. Leave it alone. He'll outgrow it as he gets older. Instead of taking it away, try to distract him, at some point it will get lost and then just don't replace it. Does he have a favorite stuffed toy? Kids need something and I guarantee that by the time they are old enough to be doing a lot of sleep overs they give it up on their own. Forget the books on these kinds of things, it wasn't too many years ago some idiots where advising parents to give children enemas to potty train and not to hold their babies because it would spoil them.