Bathroom Drawer

Normally if I am close enough to someone that they are staying overnight in my home, we are close enough that they could look through my bathroom drawer to get a toothbrush.

I would do both! Lol, I would ask as I'm looking "hey do you have an extra toothbrush? (ramble ramble!) Haha... But, I certainly would not use one without asking, and especially try to cover up the fact.

Depends on how close you are. Mi casa es su casa close, or your a guest, mind your p's and q's close. If we are friends, I probably would have asked. If we are friends like family, I'd rummage through drawers. So it really comes down to how close your friendship is.

Wow, thats brazen. I would be upset too. It wouldn't be a huge issue if they asked but I would want to be asked first. Thats just wrong to go through someone's things and take something--it doesn't matter who you are. I would tell her that next time if she forgets something, to ask you. You should be respected in your home.

Seriously? Yikes, I would not want to be your guest. First of all, if I was the host, I would not care and make sure my guest knew that if they needed anything to please help themselves and feel at home. Second, if I was the guest I would assume that the guest bathroom (which obviously was stocked with what must have seemed like usable items) was for the guest and if I needed something I could help myself. (I would also assume this because as a host I would feel embarrassed that my guest had to ask permission for something. I would feel like I wasn't clear when I tried to make them comfortable or feel like they are at home). Third, the reason why she lied is because you EMBARRASSED THE H**L OUT OF HER! OMG , I can't believe you said "so you helped yourself?". Sheesh how condescending, passive and rude is that comment? Why say anything? Its just a stupid DISPOSABLE, HOTEL toothbrush.

I would have explained I forgot my toothbrush and had you look for a spare for me rather than going through your drawers.
I'm not comfortable going though other peoples belongings and I'd be upset if people went through mine.

My sister, on the other hand, makes a habit of snooping through every drawer/cupboard she has access to and would think nothing of going through your underwear, clothing, medicine cabinet, jewelry box, makeup, closets, purse, desk, piggy bank, safe (if you left it open) - she has no sense of privacy and feels it is her right to rummage through EVERY THING.
It's like a sickness with her - an obsession - I find it intolerable.
It's one reason she'll never be welcome in my house.

My parents house had a cabinet door that squeeked LOUD, you could hear it all over the house. My Mom always laughed at how many people would use her bathroom and look in the cabinet. She purposely did not fix the squeek for that reason. When someone came out of the bathroom they would have a guilty look on their face.

Next time you have a guest set out a basket of 'goodies' in the guest bathroom. You can go pick up sample size toileties and a nice looking basket and set it out for guests to help themselves. If you have no place to put this get an inexpensive shelf to hang on the wall.

All this over a free toothbrush from a hotel? Next time, keep amenities on hand for your guests that you are not sentimentally attached to. Personally, I would never put a guest in a position to even need to explain why they used a hotel toothbrush from my drawer. She is probably feeling just as uneasy around you. I suggest giving her some grace.

I probably would have asked if my host had a toothbrush, vs. rambling through her things, but let this go. In the scheme of things, a toothbrush doesn't matter, and rifling through your things is rude, but she didn't steal something.

Some people's parents didn't teach them very well. Move on, and if she spends the night again, tell her in advance, "Let me know if you need anything." And hopefully she'll take the hint.

ETA - Just saw your What Happened. Wow. Oh well, hopefully she won't spend the night too often. If she spends the night again, just remove anything you're worried about her taking.

But seriously, I hope you weren't sentimentally attached to a toothbrush, no matter what fancy hotel it came from.

Gamma - I disagree that "everyone snoops." I don't. And I wouldn't rifle through people's drawers out of curiosity if I were alone in their house. People's trinkets don't interest me. If that's a habit you have, maybe you should reconsider its normality.

meh. I don't keep things in my drawers that I wouldn't mind a guest using. In fact, at my house growing up and at my house now, we do keep a few new toothbrushes in the drawer for this very reason.

I wouldn't be upset, but that is me. I think you handled it well. Strange she tried to cover. I'd drop it, but be sure to let her know that if she needs anything just ask:)

The appropriate course of action would be for her to say "Hey, Rhonda, I can't believe I forgot my toothbrush! Can we make a quick stop to the drug store to get one?" Then you either take her or give her a new one you have on hand that you don't want. Yes, she was out of line to help herself to your stuff, then lie about it. I wouldn't invite her to stay again, unless she is a good friend.

On one hand I would be totally upset but on the other, I guess it depends on the friendship you have with this person. When my parents or sisters come and stay, it doesn't bother me if they look in the bathroom drawer if they forgot a toothbrush. In fact, I have a pack of new ones (altho cheap ones) I keep on hand for this exact reason. I also keep an extra nightgown in the top drawer of my spare bedroom for my sister (and my Mom when she was still with us). I'm fine with family members being comfortable enough to look for something they need; within limits. But friends I think are a little different - she should have asked. The only explanation I think I would accept is if I was already asleep and she forgot hers and didn't want to wake me just to ask for one.

I have NEVER gone in drawers at anyone's house - not even my parents till they were gone and in the bathroom drawer all I found were a few razors and deodorant. Nothing too exciting!

If she said she brought it with her, that's easy enough to check - is yours still there and in the wrapper?

People are curious by nature. Everyone snoops. It's just part of the human experience.

She felt comfortable enough to think you wouldn't mind. I wouldn't have. I don't have anything to hide from people I allow to stay in my home. My MIL always picked up the extra soaps, lotions, toothbrushes, razors, mouthwashes, shampoos and conditioners, etc....all the stuff that hotels put there for a person's use.

She kept them in the bathroom drawer and told everyone who came to stay to help themselves. She was a wonderful hostess. No one ever needed to want for anything at her home.

I think it depends on the bathroom. I have a guest bath, and in the drawers I provide things like toothbrushes and razors and stuff that is for the use of my guests. I don't expect them to ask me if they've forgotten - that's why it's there (of course, if they do ask, that's just good manners). If your guest was using a different bathroom than the one you use, I would give your guest the benefit of the doubt and assume she thought it was there for her use.

However, if this was your bathroom, the one you use daily, and she found it in there, I would feel violated if I were you. There is no assumption that a bathroom that your host also uses would be stocked for your use, and your friend should have known that. That she is lying about it afterwards is particularly disturbing. I honestly wouldn't have her stay with you again, since you never know what she might forget and decide to borrow next.

I would have gone to the drugstore and bought myself a toothbrush. I would not have gone through my host's drawers or cabinets without permission.
It's not about the toothbrush - it's a lack of respect for your host's personal space. If my daughter spends the night and forgets something she needs, she asks me for it before going into the drawers or cabinets for it. I do the same with my parents. I don't just assume that anything in their house is mine for the taking.
My house has two bathrooms - half bath in the master bedroom and full bath in the hallway. Neither is exclusively a "guest bath" since only one has a shower.

When I was single and lived alone, it wouldn't have bothered me... I mean.. that was the age when we went through each other's closets and borrowed outfits and shoes and shared perfume, etc. Right? You really were right at home when at a good friend's house/or they at yours.

But as a married woman with a family, I would be appalled if a guest went into my personal bathroom and rummaged through a drawer of their own accord. My bathroom is IN my bedroom (the farthest wall away from the door). You just don't wander into a married couple's personal space like that. I would find it a bit odd if they went into the kids' bathroom and just started looking around, too... because, well, who would want something from in THERE? lol

As for the "guest" bathroom, I have a pedestal sink, so no drawers to dig through, and no medicine cabinet. I have a small standing cabinet that has spare toilet paper, and shampoo/conditioner. That's it. The towels are in the closet of the "guest" bedroom, adjacent to the bathroom, all can be closed off with a pocket door for privacy.

Many times my MIL comes and doesn't have a toothbrush (an annoying habit she has)... but when she realizes she has forgotten, she comes out and asks me... and I go get one from my bathroom for her (stock from the "freebies" they give you at the every dental appointment). Same with my kids' friends... they forget to pack one, I ask them if they brushed... and offer them one in case they forgot. No big deal.

I would not snoop through a married person's household for a forgotten item. If they had gone out and I was alone at their house, I would call them on a cell phone and ask if they had what I needed handy somewhere, if it were that urgent, and take it from there. But I would not just go snooping.

HOWEVER, all that said:
You were not exactly a gracious host to call her out on it. If you were so particular about that "souvenir" from the hotel, you should have put it somewhere "safer" than a bathroom drawer... In my opinion, anyway.

So, all that said, I am curious: Are you married and your guest went into you and your husband's private space looking, or are you single and she was doing the 'sister' thing like back in college days?

This happened last month and your still thinking about it? Was this the guest bath or your master bath? Maybe she thought you kept extra things around like free hotel toiletries for guest, sure she should have asked but it also isn't a big deal. When I have guest over I always tell them to let me know if they need anything and set out extra guest things like soap, razors, etc. I think it was very rude to make a snarky comment about it and then to still ask her about it, she is probably so embarrassed she didn't know what to say. I just don't understand why make a friend feel like that over a toothbrush.

I would let it drop until the next time she comes over, if you even allow her to come over again. Then I would ask her if she has everything she needs, like a toothbrush or anyiother personal item. I would offer to take her to the store or I would ask her if she would like to have somethng you keep for guests.

I would remove things from her reach you don't want her to use or take.

Good luck to you and yours at Hotel Rhonda in Cold Springs. ;~))

Sure it was kind of rude of her but it was just a toothbrush. I wouldn't even give it a second thought.