Balancing Act

You probably can't balance. You can juggle, you can yo-yo, you can see-saw, but balance? That's tough. If you just accept that some days the kids had so much fun but the house is a disaster and you'll be up till forever finishing your work, but that other days the house will be neat-ish and you will have made a really healthy dinner and the kids watched 3 hours of TV, and some days you ran around like crazy and everything is still half done but tomorrow will be better, then you'll probably be happier overall. That probably wasn't the advice you were hoping for, but it's what helps keep me sane. Good luck!

I have attempted to raise my kids, take care of the house, and work from home since my first son was born 10 years ago (I am pregnant with #4 right now). I have not found total balance but have found a few things that help a lot! First thing I found was FlyLady.com through mampedia. The routines and ideas really have helped me keep the house and my kids in some sort of mild chaos as opposed to the craziness I felt all the time before. It has helped me get everyone ready in the morning, get out the door on time, plan for each day, and keep my house in presentable order where I can have people stop by whenever and not feel embarrassed.

Another thing I have put in my mind is to calm down. I am one of those that never really stops moving and doing. I get worked up over stupid things sometimes and have just decided to let a lot of things go. My grandma always tells me, "it will be there when you get to it". I have deduced that my kids will grow up and I will be sad if I didn't spend time with them when I could. I can let the dumb stuff go ad focus on more time with them and making sure they become the best people they can be.

Life is still crazy and hectic, I still feel overwhelmed sometimes but it is down to a dull roar as opposed to true chaos. I am learning to enjoy, embrace and be happy.

Good luck!

I have two things that have really helped me. I have a meal plan. I have a three week rotation. Days I don't feel like cooking, I just pull out leftovers (I don't plan all of them into the menu so I always have that to fall back on). I never have to think about what's for dinner. It's so nice. Breakfasts and snacks are the same every week, so I don't even have to check the menu in the morning, and the kids are learning the schedule, too, so I'm not getting asked as much what they can have for a snack, although they do know fruits and veggies are fine most anytime.

For cleaning and such, I use the FLYLady system. My husband loves the clean house and stress free wife! My desk has actually been cleaned and organized for several months with all the filing done. Her system has been a big help. I just keep a running list of where I'd like to spend my 15 minutes and work through it during the day. I find her system very freeing and enjoyable, and not at all overbearing. Hope you get some good help!

It's hard to balance everything and do it all well. My only advice is to list everything and rank it by priority. Once you see everything on paper in front of you it's easy to figure out that kids are more important than a spotless house.

When I stayed home with the kids they were my priority and housework was done around their schedule. When they were a little older and I went to work full time the children were my hubby's top priority (since he was self employed) and the things needed to run a household were split between the two of us.

Hi there. Well I have a nanny at home with me, so that helps tremendously. And on the days I don't have a nanny I have a husband here...

Sometimes I have to be on dedicated baby time, and I can do that as long as I don't have a meeting, and I just structure my work so it can be done in the later hours of the vening after bed time for the baby.

It all depends on your work situation and what type of work it is...

Hi K.,
Working is such a personal decision and sometimes a necessity. I applaud women who can work at home! That is doing 2 jobs at the same time! Very challenging. The advice I have heard most over my 16 years as a mother (my oldest just turned 16 this past week!) is that there are seasons: a season for mothering young children and a season for including other pursuits. I am so happy I chose to stay home even though it might have added to our income back then. I can vouch for the fact that life goes SO much faster than you ever can imagine it going when the children are little. It might seem a long ways away to wait to work until children are older, but it ends up being very little time. If you are working to cover necessities, then I pray you will be blessed in every regard to have all the heavenly help possible to make it all work out. I'm sure you will find a way through prayer. But if you really could make it by, possibly sacrificing some of the nice things, I think you will be more content because you won't be so stretched. Having margin in life helps us enjoy it so much more. I know that when I do so, I am at peace in my heart, it is so very much easier to be patient and understanding of my children AND make more of the "happy memory moments" with my children. They do grow up. When they are in school, there is quieter time available for other pursuits. But when they are home, everything you invest--all of yourself and your love and teaching and service--really does come back to bless you. I have started to see the fruits of my dedication during those early years with my 3 teens, which rejuvenates me for continuing to work with, read to, nurture, and discipline the 4 younger ones. And now that my youngest will be 5 in the fall, life is really starting to change.
I know this may not be the advice you are looking for, and again, many women must work just to cover the basic necessities, but if not--just carefully consider if your energies are invested where you really want them to be. When you are 80 years old, you will care how those relationships with your children work out and how your children did. What you do will make a difference. Early years are really precious time.
Best wishes in your decision-making! Life is so full of important choices!!!!
L.

I know no one who has done this on their own, and FELT like they did it well. The people I know who do, do it and feel ok are the ones with nannies and housekeepers.

I worked when my daughter was little but once she started Pre-K (Actual school) I had to stop. She needed it me more, and I got pregnant with our son. I never worked at a regular job after my son was born. I did consulting and some part time stuff, but nothing regular full-time yet. Once we get him situated in school, I'll need to go back. We'll see how it goes.

Good Luck. Organization is the key!

I work part time- doing a job that I am lucky enough to be able to take the kiddos with me. Most of the time this is great- but sometimes I feel I have no me time.
Just remember that every mother works- and just like anyother job you need some down time. If that involves putting the kids in front of a 45 min movie and taking a really long shower, don't feel bad.
My father once told me that the only thing your child absolutely needs from you- that someone else can't do for you- is your love.
Someone else once pointed out that the onlything that you have to do everyday is... breath- not quite as true for a mommy, but pretty close- most of it can wait for tomorrow.

Not sure if that is what you needed to hear, but just a few thoughts.

simple routines. planning dinners, errands around various schedules.
i work full time, attend college full time, and have three kids who are 5, 3, and 2. before bed i get the kids things ready for the morning and have an idea about what to give them for breakfast. in the mornings i move laundry from the washing machine to the dryer, and put the clean clothes away after beginning another load. get to class, get to work, get home. ( don't forget to eat something yourself, i'm bad about that). once home, have a set night for kids baths, ie, mon, wed, fri or whatever works for you. on a night you don't bathe kids, go to the grocery store if you need to. on sat or sun, i work the bills. don't know about the cooking things too much as my hubby usually takes care of those things. if your staying home with the kids, make them help you clean with age appropiate chores. even my youngest helps with this. hope this helps, good luck