Bachelorette Party - Levittown,PA

Hi S.-

I have a bit of a different take...'Donkey years ago', when I finally got married, my best friend was my matron of honor. She already had a child, and was quite relieved I think when my other 'brides maids' (all single) took over the planning of the bachelorette party! I do not know if they consulted her...but a good time was had by all.

She came (leaving her baby with hubby) and had a great time!

I would just graciously attend, and have a GREAT girls nite out!

Take Care!
michele/cat

Hi, S.:
Bar hopping and spending the night away from home for a party sounds suspicious to me.

Were is the dignity and respect for a pending marriage in this arrangement?

Is there no way to have a good family get together and celebrate the ritual of a new beginning for the family that will be?

Just wondering.
D.

Stay in the hotel unless it is a financial concern.
And your sister may have asked her to plan the Bachelorette party.

I think that I would bite the bullet and spend the night with the rest of the bachelorette party. You don't want to cause any tension or hurt feelings and you certainly want to be a part of your sisters celebration!! You and husband can stand to spend one night apart...this is a special night for your sister and you want to be able to share the memories with each other through the years. Think of what you would want your sister to do if the situation were reversed...wouldn't you want her there with you...celebrating the upcoming marriage???

Yes, stay at the hotel to be part of the festivities!

I would stay and support my sister. I too prefer my own bed, but it is only one night and this is a special time for your sister. How would you feel if she ditched on your special event?

S.:

I am of the mind set that I prefer to sleep in my own bed. I don't drink so I am usually the designated driver....and end up making sure that everyone gets home safely.

I personally would state: "I like sleeping with my hubby every night - I'll party with you guys but I'm taking a cab home....thanks anyway."

I wouldn't let her taking over the bachelorette party bother me - one less thing off my plate...

I would hope that she is either paying for the room(s) herself....IF she is assuming people can spend money on a hotel - she's SORELY mistaken. She either needs to pony up and pay for the rooms or not be upset if people go home....drinks out get expensive as do hotel rooms!

Talk it over with your sister...let her know you want to party with her - but its not your idea of a bachelorette party - is she on board with this? if not - you will have to take the friend aside and tell her it's really not what the bride wants - or have your sister do it herself.

What would your sister want? Would she love to do the bar hopping and stay at a hotel? Or would she rather spend the night in her own bed? Reason I ask is because my sister got married a year ago and her friend had made the arrangements with her own wants in mind. My sister is not a bar hopper, stay in a hotel kind of girl. She is laid back and would much rather spend the night in her own bed. We ended up putting our feet down to make sure her night was about her and what she would want. Not what her friend had wanted. In the end it turned out great! She had a great time going to a country club and dancing the night away and then going home to her own bed. With that all said, If this is something your sister would want than you should do it. It's all about her in the end and it is only one night. If it's not something your sister would like to do, than you should talk with her friend and try to make it something your sister would like.

.

Do it for your sister. Her bachelorette party only happens once and she'll remember that you're a party pooper.

I have to disagree with what some people are saying. Weddings are a stressful time and you don't want to create any problems. It's one night so go out have fun and stay over. In the grand scheme of life, it is only one night of your life and your sis will be happy you celebrated the whole night with her. I have a friend who's friend did the same thing and she did not stay over and to this day I think she is still a bit tiffed about it. Pu on a smile and have a great time. If you don't have kids yet, you'll look back on the night and be thankful you got out when you could and if you do have kids, think of it as a night off!

I would ask your sister what she expects from you as the MOH, then try your best to honor her wishes for this event. For me, I just wanted my MOH to handle two things - she took on some extra stuff because she wanted, she delegated other things to others, it all worked out. I agree that the party thrower should be asking for your input, but you don't want to give your sister any grief over it. Good luck!

Wow! I can understand you having your feelings hurt by the lack of etiquette displayed by your sister's friend. It is usually the responsibility/privilege of the Maid-of-honor to plan the bachelorette party. To not even be consulted could certainly generate some hard feelings toward the infringer. Please try not to let these hard feeling infringe on your sister's wedding festivities. A good bachelorette party will put you in such a state of mind, you won't care where you eventually fall asleep. Plus, for safety's sake, having a hotel close to the bars is just a good idea. Fairly standard, actually. Just poo on the friend for not including you in the planning. Rude!

I will ask that you don't talk to you sister about any of this. I remember, on my wedding day, having to referee between my bridesmaids and maid-of-honor because some bridesmaids felt the bachelorette party was too much and they didn't feel comfortable, or the need to contribute financially.... whatever. Really not something I wanted to be dealing with the morning of my wedding.

IMO, the girl is quite rude. You're her sister and the maid of honor! But not your sister's fault. It's her day. Spend the night at the hotel, have a blast with everyone. Talk to the girl privately and clue her in on her lack of etiquette. But don't let it ruin everything.

I would not be too hurt. But I know it hurts!! Is the close friend single? Maybe they thought since you are married they'd take on this part. Not sure, but I'd go home to my hubby afterward if I were you. Being gone away when you don't really want to wouldn't be much fun. I'm sure your sister would understand.

Is it at all possible the other friend made the arrangements because your sister knows that is not the type of party you would plan (and it's highly likely this is the kind of party she wants)? Don't forget your sister is single and this is about her. If it will cause your husband great distress, you should go home, but if not, for your sister's sake, by all means join the party. You might have a ball and it will make for some great pre-wedding girl bonding. That's what it's all about anyway.

Go with them and stay the night IF you can put on a game face. If your sister wouldn't enjoy this type of party, she'll be glad that you're there trying to have fun with her. If it is her type of night, do you really want to be one to spoil it for her? If your husband really can't survive without you, then he can drive down to pick you up after everyone else has hit the sack...

On the flip side, if you're not one who can fake it when your feelings are hurt, tell your sister that you'd rather do something else special with her before her nuptials. Then (without competing with the other night out), arrange something that you'd both enjoy. Depending on her opinion, you can invite the others or not...

Don't do it if u don't want to. Just tell her you would be more comfortable in your own house.

If it were me, I'd go home! Big deal, you're just going to be sleeping in the hotel, why waste the $ when you can sleep at home? It's not being a party pooper, it's being responsible. If one of my friends didn't want to spend the night with me, that wouldn't hurt my feelings in the slightest. Do what makes you comfortable and have fun!! :)

I feel the same way. Party with them, then go home. No point spending the night if its not going to be fun for you. Your sis & other guests will sense it & that will poop the party.

It's a once in a lifetime thing. The people who will mean the most to your sister for her special events memories are the ones who are troopers and not making any of their own issues. Her childhood friend has been rude? People always stink about wedding stuff. Let it go. Hubby wants you home? It's ONE NIGHT! I would do it and be sure to be super fun while I was there. Bring a camera and take lots of funny pictures and make a "Hangover" style photo book for her chronicling the night and the breakfast after. Even the dumbest events look funny in pictures. My girlfriends and I went on a getaway 20 years ago to a dumpy hotel (we found out after we got there) and everything went wrong and we were poor and couldn't afford it....we were just looking at the album a few months ago LAUGHING to TEARS at the photos of dumb details-the broken toilet paper holder, the scary rooms, the leering pool guy, the local nut who wouldn't leave our table on the deck when we were trying to be glamorous and drink umbrella drinks and his dog peed right by us. Don't wait for this event to be perfect for you, make it something special (or at least funny) to look back on and don't make it about your own comfort.

Go & have fun. You don't need to stay in the hotel but make sure you take a cab home & plan to join them for brunch.

Don’t say a word to your sister or the other girl. What's done is done.

Have fun!

Honestly, I would not stay overnight in the hotel. I would go to the party, then return home. If your sister asks, just say you prefer to sleep in your own bed. I would not be offended if it were me.

Go with the flow and have fun. Remember,this is her day not yours. Stay the night then you do not have to worry about drinking and driving or worry about driving back home.