Tradition... Seeing Your Fiance the Day Before Your Wedding.

I think it's kind of gone by the wayside now that so many people co-habitate before getting married.

But yes, I stayed at my mother's house the night before and didn't see my man until the ceremony started.

I lived with my husband (fiance at the time) but stayed at my parents house the night before the wedding. I wanted to keep with tradition! I slept really well, actually! I didn't see him until I was going down the aisle. This was five years ago TODAY!

It is the night before/day of the wedding traditionally. Most people have their wedding rehearsals/rehearsal dinners the day before....so it isn't the whole day. Just not sleeping over and seeing them the day of the wedding. I did this. Stayed in the hotel with my parents and sister the night before; he stayed at his parents' home....I got ready at his parents' house but he was already at the best man's house. The first time he saw me was when I began my walk down the aisle. We are VERY traditional though (think no sex before the wedding, no hormonal birth control, 3 kids in 4 years starting with the first pregnancy 2 months after the wedding, etc). Best wishes!

We spent the night before apart even though we lived together. I didn't see him until I walked down the aisle. I was nervous as heck, but the "wow" he said audibly and the fact that he was looking at me like we were the only people in the room (not surrounded by 200 family members and friends) is truly one of the happiest memories of my life. I wouldn't trade that surprise for anything.

We did. I'm a stickler for tradition! ;) We spent the night apart and I wouldn't even allow the photographer to take pictures of us together before the wedding. I thought it was exciting. I wanted his first vision of me to be walking down the aisle. I know it's kind of corny but I loved it. My husband was fine with it and this way he got to hang with his buddies and it was just all around fun. I don't think you have to do it for tradition's sake, but I don't think you'll get a good night's sleep no matter what, I mean you'll probably be a bundle of nerves regardless!

We didn't bother with it.
We'd driven 8 hours to get to our home town where we were married.
Our practice dinner was the night before the wedding.
And we did the wedding pictures and portraits 2 hours before the ceremony.
I paid more attention to
"Something old, something new,
Something borrowed and something blue".
I didn't think at all about not seeing him before the wedding.
We celebrate our 22nd anniversary this August.

So funny you asked this... my fiance asked me yesterday, "so do I have to vacate the day before the wedding?"

I have mixed feelings about it too! I mean, I don't have any strong compulsion to do it just for the sake of tradition...

And honestly, we have to go to the venue and decorate the day before the wedding, followed by a little rehearsal that evening... so it would really amount to him sleeping somewhere else, and not being at the house while I'm getting ready.

I know a lot of people enjoy that moment, where your fiance sees you for the first time as a bride, coming down the aisle toward him, and it's such an emotional time, etc... but I'm really NOT looking forward to that! I don't want this to be any more emotional than it has to be! I'd kind of prefer that we just get ready together, like you said, just being there to support one another, and go at it together...

We haven't actually decided what we'll do for sure yet, but I'm leaning toward just keeping things normal...

Glad you posted this... intersted in your responses!

Waiting to see each other on the day of the wedding is worth it in the end. Tradition was actually (I am sure you already know) that you never slept together the night before, ever.

I would say it is up to you whether you see him that night or just the day of the wedding. The beauty in this is the transformation. He will go from his Levi's and T's to looking dapper in a suit and you will go from perhaps a ponytail to the most sophisticated do which he has never seen.

When I am photographing a wedding, I love scanning the room for emotion during the grand entrance.

ok...so here is my gig. I was married catholic. I went to confession a week before our wedding and confessed to (gasp) pre-marital sex. I vowed to never have it again before our wedding day. Then that week (thursday I think) was the bachelor/bachelorette party. We all went out in our sep groups. came back together at the end of the evening and well...lets just say my SO was inilliated. He pretty much cave manned me and would not no for an answer.(guess he was excited about the purple v-brater I got :)
Also the next day was the rehearal (Friday night) and the groomsmans dinner is that night too...You HAVE to see eachother that DAY (day before)
I thought it was that the day OF, he is not to see you in your wedding gown before the cerimony...however that was crushed on us too since we had to get pictures in the church before the cerimony because there was another wedding after ours.
I did spend the night before our wedding night...so did my 5 bridesmaids in our 1 bedroom appt..I had chicks passed out on coutches, the bathroom floor and one never came home..LOL (thats what I get for getting married at 23)
For what its worth, we have been married since 1999 (I cant do the math ha ha) and still going strong :)
Good luck

I think of this too, but I know we will be sharing the bed the night before. Likely we will go to the park for the ceremony, together, as a family, I hope we arent cursed with bad luck LOL

I thought the tradition was that you just don't see each other the day of the wedding until he sees youwalkind down the isle in your dress etc.....

But to each his own. You can do whatever the two of you decide!!

CONGRATULATIONS!! When is the big day anyways??

Oh - and I eloped - so we saw each other....LOL

We didn't. In fact, we had discussed the whole marriage thing, bought rings, planned the wedding and done invitations, all before either of us realized that he had actually never said the exact 4 little words: "Will you marry me?".

So the morning of, as he was leaving our shared apartment to go meet his family (whom he was spending the rest of the day with until the wedding), and I was eating a bagel about to go get my hair done.... he stops in the kitchen and says (with a devious look in his gorgeous green eyes), "oh.... I guess I should ask... Will you marry me?"
So.. we spent the night together in our own apartment. AND saw each other the next morning "around the house" for an hour or two before we split up for the remainder of the time before the wedding. Did it bring us bad luck? I don't think so. This December will be our 15th anniversary.
I was like you... all our family lived hours away, and he was (and still is) truly my closest friend and soulmate. To not be able to talk to him and just be near him into the wee hours on the eve of the most momentous day of our lives would have been more than I could have managed. I didn't feel then and I don't feel now that it would have added a single thing to the "anticipation" of the event for either one of us.

I did not spend the night before with my fiance. I saw him most of the day before and until about 9 that evening, with the rehearsal, rehearsal dinner, etc. We lived together before so I figured one night apart wouldn't be that big of a deal. It built the anticipation the day of the wedding. We didn't see each other until the ceremony. We did our together pictures after that. He spent time with his buddies, and I spent time with my friends.

We didn't spend the night together but we did see each other before the wedding to take pictures (We didn't want to hold the guests up and our wedding was at dusk--We needed the daylight for the pictures)

I am glad we didn't spend the night together even though I would have slept better. It just added to the suspense and excitement of the day. We did talk on the phone the night before and it was sweet.

Congrats!

I HATE attention....so much that I even have my baby showers AFTER the baby is born, so I am not the center of attention and they get to see the REAL guest of honor. Don't get me wrong, I am NOT shy at all, but I hate attention.

I saw my husband the day before the wedding and would have had him with me that night and the day of our wedding, but HE wanted tradition. Ugggg. I swear, I married the ONLY man who even cared. I left a card for him saying that I couldn't wait to meet him at the altar and he never even opened it up...until after.

I think it really depends on the people involved...and I would have been more comfortable if we had been together. I had SO many fires to put out the day of our wedding and I had to do it all alone. I wanted to go to Vegas and get it over with and HE wanted the huge family wedding. We had the huge family wedding and issues at the hotel with rooms, catering, flowers - you name it. Next time, I would do more of what *I* wanted.

I did not spend the night before with my hubby. We spend the day before together but the night we were apart---he didn't see me until the ceremony. I would not spend the night with your man, it makes it more special when you see eachother at the ceremony to have missed him and spent that time apart. Best wishes!

M

Night before and day of is the tradition.

I did this as much as possible, but my MOH got into Vegas pretty late the night before, but once she got there, I bunked with her and did not see my fiance until I was coming sown the aisle!

I didn't, but that was more out of convenience for me. I stayed at my parent's house, with 3 of my sisters that were in the wedding. We had some last minute things to do and had to be up by 7 to shower and go get our hair done. Also, we lived about 40 minutes from where we were getting married. So I would of had to be up by 5:30-6 to shower than drive to where we were getting our hair done, by myself, and that morning, I didn't need to be by myself. My husband and I had the rehearal dinner then night before and were together until about 10 pm.

I think its the day of. I didn't stay with my now hubby the night before, so we didn't see each other until the I was walking down the isle. I actually saw him walking by my hotel, but he never saw me! The night before, we hung out and went to a couple bars with friends that we in town. Then he went his way and I went mine (with my sister). Regardless, I don't think you are going to get much of a good nights rest. I just did it out of tradition and because it was kinda fun. Whatever you decide- Congratulations!!!

I did not - DH actually spent 2 or 3 nights out of our house, at his dad's house (we didn't live together until we bought a house a couple of months before the wedding and it was not practical for us to be paying rent and a mortgage).

It was nice to have those last few nights alone (well not really alone I had a 5-year-old son) to prepare and enjoy my last few days as a single woman. I did actually need him for a medical emergency the day before the wedding and he was nowhere to be found - having a spa day for himself lol - so we saw each other at the rehearsal dinner and then not until the wedding. I would think it would be weird to wake up next to your spouse-to-be the day you get married but that's just me.

My husband and I did not follow this tradition and we'll be married 21 years this November. If my husband hadn't been with me, I swear, I wouldn't have survived the day. He made sure I ate a healthy breakfast, he made sure my mom didn't harass me too much about my hair and make up and dress. He made sure things ran on schedule. Best of all, he zipped me in to my dress, kissed my neck and told me he was the luckiest man on earth to be my man. Who needs a tradition when you can have that?!?

My husband's cousin and his bride abstained for 6 months before their wedding and nearly had sex under the bridal party table at their reception. I've never seen a couple kiss and, literally, slide under a table before or since.

I say do what will make you the happiest bride.

I am getting married in july and will be sleeping next to my "fiance". we are having an outside wedding and reception therefore we will be around each other non-stop for days, even the day of the wedding we will be seeing each other. i wont see him after i get my hair done and ready though. good luck

I never even spent 1 night with him before our wedding! Ever, lol!! I lived with my parents and he lived in the barracks on base (he was a marine). We also did not see eachother the day before the wedding. He was busy showing his mom around and I was busy setting up the wedding

My husband and I lived together for six years before we got married, and our wedding was held in our living room. We prepared all the food the morning of the wedding, so we definitely saw each other the day (and night) before and they day of.

We got married on the island of St. Lucia in the middle of our honeymoon. So yes, we spent the night together and saw each other before the ceremony. The reason for the ceremony in the middle is that we needed to establish residency on the island.

The resort was great though. They had me off getting my hair and called my fiance out of the room as I was on my way back to get dressed. In the Caribbean, rain showers are blessings and we were definitely blessed the the day of the ceremony.

We spent the night together because it wasn't practical for us to be apart; our baby was three months old when we got married! :-) We were already living together, so it didn't make any sense to spend the night before apart when I was already stressed out about the wedding, and needed help with the baby. Though he did get up early that morning and spent the morning and afternoon before the wedding with his best man, so we did keep up that tradition of not seeing each other that day until the wedding.

Congratulations!

I think the tradition is not to see each other the day OF the wedding, until you are actually walking down the aisle. Actually, I don't know if it's so much tradition as it is superstition (seeing each other the day of brings bad luck).

DH and I did this, but the day before was the rehearsal and then the rehearsal dinner, so it would have been kind of difficult for us to avoid each other. We did not spend the night together (he had his bachelor party and I had my bachelorette party right after the rehearsal dinner, so we went our separate ways and said, see ya in the church!) and had separate hotel rooms in the town where we got married, and had everyone helping out to keep us from accidentally seeing each other!

BTW, we were living together, had been for 3 years before getting married - but still wanted to be kept separated the day of the wedding until the ceremony.

If it was the whole day before, how would most people have a rehearsal? It's the day of the wedding before the ceremony.

I lived with my fiance for 3 years before getting married... the day OF the wedding, about 3 hours before he went to his friend's house, talked, changed and they drove to the venue together.

I and my daughter... we stayed home, got ready, she went with my parents and I was 20 minutes late getting there and still had to put on my dress LOL

He was very happy to see me when I finally came down to him!

The superstitious tradition is that you don't see your fiance on THE DAY OF your wedding. You can see each other the day before and the night before right up until midnight. We had our rehearsal and rehearsal pizza party :-) the night before our wedding, as did everyone else we know who's ever been married.

Most of my bridesmaids slept over for a big slumber party at my apartment that night too. It was a blast, especially when one of them blew out the electricity in the master bedroom and we had to call the superintendent to replace a whole circuit breaker at 1:00 AM. It really was awesome, though, having a house full of women the entire night and next morning.

Traditionally, people saved it for the wedding night. Considering you live and have a child together, what does tradition matter?

By then we already had our house for three years so I was sleeping in MY bed. We got up in the morning only to find a huge puddle of oil under my car. He and his dad fixed the oil gauge while I went and did my thing in my mom's car. I got dressed at my parent's and met him at the ceremony.

I'm willing to bet IF I did get dressed at home he would NOT have noticed. He was too busy to worry about his silly old wife.

Nearly nineteen years later he still doesn't see the humor in car repairs on your wedding day. He planned on hanging -out at home alone and enjoying the "calm before the storm" literally.

It was SUPPOSE to rain that day but it never did. Something he was VERY concerned about since our wedding was outside at the art museum where his grandparents were the curators for 47 years (and his grandfather's ashes were in the rose garden.)

We really wanted/needed to be outside on that day and not in a classroom since the museum was open to the public.

There is no tradition about seeing your intended the day before the wedding. The groom is not "supposed to" see the bride before she walks down the aisle in her wedding own. . I saw mine the day and evening before, we had our rehearsal and rehearsal dinner with a few out of town guests. We didn't spend the night together. We didn't live together. I spent the night at a hotel with my matron of honor. He spent the night at his parents' house, where he still lived. We didn't spend most nights together, so this wasn't something different for us. Do what you want.

We had our apartment together for 8 months before the wedding. We drove over in the same car. Before we got dressed we took care of last minute details and stuff. We went to separete dressing areas when the time came so the "completed look" would be a surprise. He knew what some of my outfit looked like because I made parts of it, we paid for others to be made, and he saw the materials. I sewed some of his and we ordered some of his. But we only knew bit and parts and never saw the whole thing.
There was no reason as far as we were concerned to separate for the day or the day before. Far too many things were last minute for it to be!

This is a tradition that goes back to the time when a couple didn't live together or weren't sexually active until after their vows. It is only the day of the wedding. There was no question about the night before since no one even assumed it would be ok and ordinary to spend the night together before marriage.

It is supposed to be from midnight until you walk down the isle. I lived with my husband for few years before we got married and we spent that night apart. It was actually his idea to do this and it added to the excitement. We parted after dinner the night before and saw each other again as I came down the isle. It is a sweet tradition and since not much of our wedding was traditional, this was sweet.

It's the night before and the day of the wedding and yes I did this.
I did not spend the night with my man or live with him before the wedding, whats the point of a wedding if you're already living with him and giving him the good stuff???

My understanding is that you aren't supposed to see eachother before the wedding on the DAY of the wedding. We spent the day before our wedding together b/c we were living together and had the rehearsal at the church, but dinner and party at our house! I did leave the house, though, at 9:00 that night and spend the night in our bridal suite b/c we didn't want to see eachother until the church on that day.

I actually slept like a ROCK the night before my wedding. I was do darn tired from all of the running around and that king-sized bed and jacuzzi tub were so inviting... my bridesmaids hung out in the room with a bottle of champagne until about 10:30 or so and then I kicked them all out- took a hot bath and went to sleep!

We did see each other the day before our wedding. Our rehearsal was the day before! However we didn't spend the night together!

I stayed in a "bridal suite" at our hotel venue, and he stayed in the "groom's suite". My bridesmaids all stayed in the room with me and I was too excited about the wedding to get a wink of sleep! Well, I guess I did get about 4 hours of sleep after I finally dozed off at 4am.

BUT- it was really great... the waiting made it so that the next day the first time I saw him was when he was standing at the end of the aisle! The moment I saw him there and he smiled at me, it felt like there was only two people in the whole world, him and I! I was glad I put myself through the discomfort of being apart because it made the moment we were united even sweeter!

That said, the night before we both agreed that there would be no wild partying or craziness... so we didn't have to knot ourselves up about THAT... we made sure we had our bachelor and bachelorette parties a while before the wedding!

I think if you do stay "apart" for the night in the name of tradition, you'll be happy you did it! Plus, you will be so excited about the wedding NIGHT! (wink*)

Good Luck and Congrats!
-M.

Hi R.,

I thought it was just about the dress. He isn't supposed to see you in it before you come down the aisle. I spent the night and morning before the wedding with my man.