Baby Weaned Himself

post pardom blues = major PMS get the doc to get you on harmons before you do something terrible

Hi, B.. When I read your post, I felt as though I could've written it myself. I have a seven month old, and I am in the process of weaning him from nursing (sigh). I also have a 10 year old, whom I breastfed for seven months, too. With both of my boys, I experienced (am experiencing) the same thing you described. I believe the majority of the mood swings (read: constant PMS) are your body's way of getting back to pre-baby days, albeit a major shift in hormone adjustment (which you recognize). Have you begun to menstruate now that you're nursing less? Again, I think your body is trying to resume its pre-baby days. As with PMS, the moodiness and short-temperedness will come to an end--not that that's any consolation. I also agree with one of the other moms about possible depression. You've been through some life-changing events, and the adjustment to those can be overwhelming and send even the "strongest" of women onto an emotional roller coaster. I, too, tried St. John's Wort, but it did little--if anything--for me. In the case with my first child, I didn't understand or recognize that my body (and emotions) were re-adjusting to pre-baby days; I only knew that I wasn't acting like the self I knew. You're way ahead of where I was, as you recognize your "condition" could be hormone-related. Now that I've been through one emotional/physical post-baby readjustment, I am more mindful of mood swings, irritability and short-temperedness that I am presently experiencing! <wink> Talking about it with other moms is helpful to me, too, and I'm glad we have this resource to do that. I wish you the best and hope you find some answers and encouragement in all of the moms' advice herein.

Hi B.,
I too am a SAHM and I have a little boy who is 10 months old today! I went through the same "mood" thing when my son was about 8 months old only sometimes I felt like mine was more extreme than just PMS. I would fly off the handle over the littlest of things and my poor husband and daughter (who turned 4 recently) would look at me in terror! I became a SAHM after working in hospitality for 8 1/2 years and my husband also travels a lot for his job. About a month ago my moods got so bad that I decided to do some research and ended up doing a little "self diagnosis." I started taking St. John's Wort for mild depression (which is what I determined I had) and DHEA to help with the libedo that I had lost (which I think was a major factor with my depression). Last month I went to my doctor who officially diagnosed me with mild depression and put me on a mild anti-depressiant for the next 6 months (at her suggestion I have stopped taking the St. John's Wort because she said it could interfere with my medication, but have continued the DHEA because she said it's good for heart health as well as libedo) and let me tell you, I feel SO much better and my family can really tell a difference too. I was really nervous about the possibility of beging diagnosed with depression and was scared to death of being put on the stronger anti-depressants like Paxil and Prozac. I was afraid I would become "artificially" happy or zombie like, but the medication I'm on honestly doesn't make me feel that way. I feel like my old self again and it's wonderful. Anyway, my point is...with all the changes in your life in the past 8 months (new baby, "career shift", hubby traveling a lot, etc.) you might be experiencing mild depression. I would suggest talking to your family physician and seeing what he or she has to say. Or you could try the home remedies first and see if that helps. Either way I wish you luck and hope that you start feeling less moody soon! :o)

I was in La Leche League and was blessed to successfully nurse three babies. I understand it is not uncommon for a baby at about eight or nine months to "wean" this way. If you really want to keep nursing, contact La Leche League and find a nursing consultant. Someone who is trained to help you may be able to pull you through this time. In any event, I'm sure educated support can only help. Good Luck!

L. D., mom of three

Hi B..
This is a tough time for you. I've been there.. only mine weaned around 6 months. I encouraged it, but that didn't make it any easier. Your hormones are out of whack, AND this is a big emotional step for you and your baby. So it can make you come across "b...chy" and moody and everything else. But don't beat yourself up over it and add guilt on top of it. It will get better.

For right now, I would begin a journal.. write down all your thoughts.. especially the ones that are conflicting with each other. You are not crazy, ridiculous, overreacting or whatever else you may be thinking you are being. It's normal to have conflicting emotions about stuff like this. Savor the quiet moments with your baby. Just because he isn't nursing doesn't mean that you can't snuggle with him or rock him anymore! Do those things and breathe deep his baby smell.. (that will go away one day, too... and you will miss it mightily, too). Write down all the wonderful things about being with your baby. And savor these moments... The tearful, wonderful, heartwrenching love that is so raw and worn on your shirt-sleeve right now will get buried further under that tough mommy exterior soon enough and will come out to surprise you at odd times and bring you to tears over really silly stuff when your kids are older... It's just a part of being a mommy.

Make sure you are eating a healthy diet, getting adequate rest, and enjoy the moments you have with your baby... before you know it you'll be celebrating his first steps and having to refer to him as a "toddler"... :))

Please only accept this as my personal opinion...

I think you should see a doctor... just to see if it's hormones or something else that might be out of balance.

Next, cook your husband a great dinner and try to be very nice to him. See if that helps. A way to a man's heart is through his stomach :) LOL!!

Good luck and don't forget to say you love him to him lots

Whew! I recognize the "hubby is scared to come home"...but:

He needs to get his butt home and pitch in and give you a BIG break! Failure to do so could affect your mental health and his financial welfare! :-)

Seriously - now is a good time, since baby is not so tied to you anymore, too get away for some serious "me" and "us" (you and hubby - and even and you and the other little ones) - as YOU feel like you WANT to do the "us" time...

Emotionally, your nerves are raw - and - I am serious about hubby needing to kick it into extra high gear at this time...

But - these are just the words of a woman who didn't do it this way - and sure wishes she did...

You can pump for him and mix that with formula. I don't remember when you can switch to cow's milk; talk to your pediatrician and s/he will tell you. That will help with your emotions about weaning and also your hormonal balance I bet.

Hi there
My son did the same thing.....i pumped for about 2weeks to be sure he was truly over breast feeding, and that also helped w/the drying up process. To be truthful....your may just be soooo sad that it was earier then you had hoped that your just morning that loss some. (that's what i did, it is a very emotional thing, and guys really can not ever understand that, even when they try to.) Hang in there it does get better.....J.

I am sorry to hear that you are going through that hard time! Dont worry too much though. I have a 27 month old and a 3 month old - both of them I have nursed. I did my first daugther for a year and she weaned herself just like you are saying. It was hard to get over it...big changes emotionally and hormonially. But it passes...just try to remember to tell your husband you love him and that you just have to get through this hard time. I feel that 2 people can not live their entire lives together and never have a bad time...as long as you communicate with eachother you cant go wrong. I did get real bad post pardum with my 2nd and am taking a mild dose of zantac and it has helped leaps and bounds (doc assures me it will not affect my daughter) so maybe go to the doctor and get on something to help get you over this hump...good luck and just remember - you are not alone - so many of us have all been there!