Baby's Announcement

I would congratulate her & quote her "Pregnant? Baby? When did this all happen?" And, then end the email with "Please reply". If she doesn't reply, then drop it and move on. If she is in another country, access to email my be difficult.

I have had something similar happen to me. It seems like you cared more about the friendship than she did. I don't think I would respond at all.

Girlfriend, don't feel ridiculous for feeling this way - you have every right. I would treat her with the same respect she's treating you and not respond. Life is too short to wast your precious time with or on someone who treats you in such a manner. You're better than that! :-)

It sounds like either her email address changed & she never received your emails, or she has moved on. If she received your emails about your kids, it's simply rude to not respond. I personally would take the "high road" & send a short note back congratulating her, and mention you've been trying to contact her & were afraid you had the wrong email address. After this, if she doesn't respond, then move on b/c it'll mean she has. If she doesn't respond, don't worry...she's living out of the country so it'd be hard to maintain a really good friendship anyway.

I would send a very generic card with just you and your husband's names congratulating her and her husband. (Address the card to both).... And be done! No call, no email, no gift! :)

I wish I had a dollar for every friend I've had that lacked communication skills. I'd be rich! Stick your hurt feelings back into your pocket and send your friend your congrats. She's just not very good as a writer or e-mailer. She probably told herself a million times, "I need to send Carol a note . . ." and then forgot. That's the usual pattern for people like her. Don't sweat the small stuff!!!

i wouldnt even waste my time to respond to her! she didnt waste her time responding to you i wouldnt waste mine.

I too have had a friend move out of the country, and have never heard from her again. Granted, she moved here from THERE, and moved back home, but still, it does hurt. I would just say that let it be, and if you ever hear from her again, just say something like "yes, I did get your announcement, congratulations I didn't even know you were pregnant!!" and let it go. Don't waste your heartache on it because you never know the reason why, and if you don't ever get a response from her you will never know the reason, so for less stress I'd just try to put it out of my mind. But I know it's hard!!

I would answer and tell her exactly how I felt. Bottling up your feelings will only make you sick.

Let it go. Let it go. Not worth your time.

I would say that she has reduced the friendship to Christmas Card status. There's nothing you can do about it; this is her choice she has made about the relationship. Because you received an annoucement, the polite thing to do is send a gift (however small or large you wish; perhaps considering the type of friendship the husbands may still have). I think you should still be happy for your old friends, but not go gaga over it. I will be curious if you receive a shower invitation.

Can you lower your expectations of her since she doesn't rise to meet them? It sounds like you're hoping for something from her that she is apparently unable or not willing to give. Just be kind, without hoping to get anything back. A baby is a wonderful thing, congratulate her, think of how precious your children are to you.

I completely understand your frustration!! You have every eight to be upset. I'd simply send a one line email saying "wishing the best for your new family". That's true, even if you never plan on communicating with her again. It's so painful to find out someone isn't the friend you thought they were. I hope it'll be easy for you to just let go.

It is possible that she and her Husband have had trouble getting pregnant. You said you have two girls, maybe she didn't say anything because she didn't want to spoil your happiness. I would e-mail her and tell her congratulations. It always pays to be the bigger person.

True friends don't keep score. Perhaps you are a better friend than she, but that is no reason to lower your standards of friendship. Remember the golden rule. You have no idea what has been going on in her life. She hurt yourfeelings, but you are judging her very harshly. She may have had several miscarriages- you don't know. Perhaps you should ask what kind of friend you are.

I don't know how to respond to her just not emailing you in general but regarding her not telling you about the baby it could be a family myth. I have a very close friend that I have known for over 20 years and she lives far away but we keep in close contact by phone or email all the time. But long story short is that she is European and in her European heritage you don't announce you are pregnant until you go into labor because they feel it is a curse to the pregnancy. Just remember her faith may have played a role in why she didn't tell you about the pregnancy.

Your relationship has just moved into a different, more distant, stage. Chances are, she was not meaning to offend, but it doesn't sould like you were very close these last few years. You waste a lot of energy holding a grudge on this issue. Forgive and put her on the 'Communicate through yearly Christmas cards' list.

I'm thinking she might be an attention seeker? If she made no effort to keep the friendship going and you have, she's not worth it. It's ignorant that she never even contacted you when you wanted to share your child's photos with her. If she didn't even let you know she was pregnant, she doesn't honor you as a real friend. And you shouldn't honor her as a friend either.

I would send her a nice note of congratulations and maybe even a gift, but then move on. As other people have mentioned, she is now part of your Christmas card list, but that's about it. Sometimes people have a hard time maintaining long distance friendships because they just focus on their immediate surroundings.