I am pregnant with our 2nd child, now due in approximately 4 weeks. As a lark, and more becuase I wanted to keep track of things I still needed/wanted - I started a registry at Target. My thought process was, "Well, this is our second baby, and we won't be getting a shower, but since we got rid of so much stuff from our first child we need to organize a list of what we need for the new one." I thought this was a good way to do it because then I could purchase things from my own registry as I needed them. I'm not expecting a shower (big, small or otherwise), I don't expect all my friends and family to run right out and purchase stuff for us from the registry; I honestly created it for me.
Since starting the registry, however, I have had several people ask me if we're registered anywhere. What is the etiquette on showers and gift-buying for second babies? Quite a lot of the really necessary things (like car seats and a swing etc...) we've gotten 2nd hand from people we know. Do I let people know where I'm registered if they ask? I guess I just would really like to know your thoughts and if you've had any experiences that could help guide me.
Thanks so much!
J. S.
Thanks to all the mommies who responded. I feel much better now. It's good to know that though showers for second babies are not usually the norm...they're not unheard of and sometimes even necessary. We do not know the gender of this baby; we also did not find out with our son, who will be 3 at the end of March. Who knows, we could be looking for pink accessories rather than blue!!! :)
Definately have a shower! I had one for all three of my girls. It's a great section for thier baby book, and an even better, it's normal now to have one each time. I love celebrating life, and that is what a baby shower is! There are so many bad things that happen in the world, so this is a good time to get together, and think of something good for a change. (:
Go for the baby shower for the second child. I did!! it helps out a bunch. yes you can pass down stuff from the first child especially if they are both boys or girls. but there are still some things that you will want to buy new for the new child (2nd or not). if people are asking where you are registered, they want to help you buy things. tell them!! good luck sweetie
Let them know!! And enjoy it! The second is just as special as the 1st... I've had 3 babies & 3 showers & they were all unique & special in their own ways. It also helps people, if they just want to get you a little baby gift, not repeat what you already have, regardless of a shower! Enjoy!!!!
i don't know all the "rules" but i was reading an article the other day that said that its ok to have showers with 2nd babies especially if there is a big gap b/t them. how old is your first? you should obviously never "expect" people to give you gifts but when they ask and want to give you something then its perfectly fine to tell them that you have a list at target, its just like with wedding invites, you are never suposed to put registry info in the invite but when asked you can tell everybody where your registered at.
I am due in 2 weeks with my 2nd one. I had a boy the first time and am now having a girl. I didn't expect any kind of shower either I just didn't think you had them after the 1st child. Anyway the people I work with are giving me a shower and started asking what I needed so I just thought it was easier to start a registry. If people ask if you are registered I would just tell them you are and where.
Hello J.,
I would say that if someone asks where you are registered, tell them. Is your restistry current? If not, I would try to make it current, so that if someone wants to get you something, they can get something you don't already have.
Also, my youngest (and last) baby just turned a year old. I am about to start getting rid of some things. If you message me with anything that you need/want I would be happy to see if I have it. I've had three boys - not sure what you are having!
G.
I had showers for both of my children given by my mother. I think it is ok to tell people where you are registered. people love to buy baby stuff. just explain that they don't have to buy from the registry. just remember that you still need the stuff and if someone else buys it for you its less that you have to get. congrats.
Hi J.~ I have 2 boys 3 and 1 . With my second one I did revieve one shower by my close friends. Usually with the second you either get very little or no showers. But....People know this and may still want to get you a gift. So it is perfectly OK to tell them where you are registered. With my 2nd I registered at Babies R Us and Target. So congrats on the new baby and good luck!~C.
My first child was a boy and the 2nd was a girl so I had a small shower for my 2nd child. Also my children are 16 months apart so I didn't really NEED anything except girl clothes and to be honest my daughter wore the same pajamas my son did (who really cares if they are blue??) If people are asking I would tell them (if you are comfortable with that). Like I said I had a small shower with just close friends and a few family members for my 2nd but I do know people who treat EVERY shower (even for #4 or 5) like it's their first... I guess it's up to you and/or your family and/or friends.
I guesss it really depends on how far apart in age your children are. Mine was 8 years apart so yes of course I had a shower, because I had nothing left over from my oldest.
J.,
Don't worry about having a 2nd baby shower. In todays times it has become the normal thing to do when a new baby is born. If your friends want to throw you one enjoy all the love and support you are getting.
God Bless,
J.
Yes, tell people where you are registered. A baby shower/gifts is well deserved no matter how many children you have. It's not about begging people to get you something. Some people enjoy giving when there is a need, and your registry shows your needs. Any and all help is definitely appreciated by you and your family.
J.,
The same thing happened to me in that one of my really good friends asked me (w/my third and FINAL baby) if I was having a baby shower....I told her that I didn't know and after several more folks asked, she then volunteered to host it and it went fine. I felt weird about it but the turnout was great and women always love a reason to get together, eat, chat and look at cute little baby things. Also, the registry is a good way for people to know what you still may need, even after a first baby. Good Luck! :)
NEVER TO MANY BABY SHOWERS. I HAD ONE GIVEN TO ME ALL 3 TIMES. LADIES LOVE TO GIVE BABY SHOWERS SO LIVE IT UP AND CONGRAULATIONS
oh definately let others know where you are registered. I never thought that a shower was given after the first baby either, but hey, they are and they're GREAT! My sister-in-law just had her fourth baby and we just threw her her fourth shower. Like one of the previous posts, once things are outgrown they're usually given away and I believe friends and family know that no matter how many children you have there's always a need.
congrats!
good luck
We just moved to a new church and I am pregnant with my second baby. The church ladies are insisting on throwing me a shower. They say it's THEIR first time being able to give me a shower, so I'm not going to argue! Anyone that asks where you are registered wants to shop for your baby, so it's quite appropriate for you to have a registry available to them. Some people love shopping for new babies (myself included).
Hi J.,
My advice would be people love to buy baby stuff, and most people like to help. I just had my first baby and didn't really want to have a shower, because it felt like begging to me. My family and friends insisted (thankfully), and I learned how much it means to other people to be able to help. So, I think you should tell people about the registry, if they ask, because those people are probably going to buy you something anyway.
Good luck
S.
The second baby is just as special as the first. Celebrate!
A.
Hey J. - These ladies are right! Some people will still want to get you things. I have a girlfriend right now whose pregnant w/ her second baby, and don't think for a second I haven't been buying up a storm for her! ;) So, if they ask you are you registered, I'd just say - "Actually, yes I am! There was a few things I needed replacing, so I went ahead and started a list at Target" - then they KNOW that you really need those things! (because as you may recall from your first baby, we register for ALL KINDS of stuff we DON'T need) - i am sure etiquette goes both ways on this - i'm a mississippi girl (so as southern as you can get) and know that some ladies might not agree - but it's a new day and people are more about giving from the heart than staunch tradition. Congratulations on your new baby!
My mom told me that you don't normally have a shower for the second baby unless it is a different gender. But hey, if someone wants to buy you something you need, why not let them? haha
Congratulations!
Tell them where you are registered. Although many people don't have showers for 2nd babies (unless it is a different sex or many years after the first) people will still want to give you gifts. I would rather give someone something I know they need or want than to pick something randomly.
Be cautious about second hand car seats. You are not supposed to use them if they are more than 5 years old. The heat from being in the car for 5 years causes the plastic to break down and not be as strong. Maybe some friends could go in together and get you a new car seat.
People don't ask things like that unless they truly want to buy you a gift and celebrate your pregnancy! Absolutely tell them with no reservation. Now advertising it by sending a note to all of your friends.... that's a different story.
Just my 2 cents worth.
J.
In our family we have a shower for each child born. This way it can be added to the baby book and mostly to get together and have a good time. We all realize that as soon as our kids out grow something we pass it on so then when a new baby comes it really is starting from scratch.
Baby showers are not just for 1st children. Even though you already have one child, many family and friends like to purchase something to welcome the new little one. I say, let them know where you are registered. It's up to the individual if they want to get a gift or not. No pressure involved.
i'm also pregnant but with my 4th child, i had a shower for my first, but not the 2nd and 3rd and now i'm having a pretty big one for this one. with my 2nd and 3rd i didn't have much family or friends around. but this time there will be alot of family and friends and they are excited about it.this baby will be 6 years apart from my youngest child so i had given everything away!!!!!! so i'm starting from scratch. if i was you i wouldn't feel bad if people want to buy you something, they wouldn't ask if they didn't want to do it for you. congratulations on your new addition.
Hi J.,
I think having a shower for your second child is completely okay. A friend of mine just had her second child and I helped give her a baby shower for this child. It is completely normal!! When I have my second child I will definatly have another baby shower!!!
C. Scoggins
scoggins.fourpointmoms.com
