Baby Shower Question...

Tiffani,
I've been to several 2nd baby showers.
Some of which were themed parties.

ex. Diaper party (coupons, packages of diapers in all size ranges)

Book Theme (tea party): bookshelf, variety of books for the parents to read to the child etc.

there are other ideas too... but these were ones I know the parents loved.

One of my showers that my friends had for me was a book shower and I am still reading those books with my 5 year old. Better yet he is reading some of them now. :-)

That's hard question because you're having another girl -- so you already have a good a collection of baby girl clothes. But I believe that every birth is a celebration -- so perhaps this time around it can be a "baby diaper party" where guests bring "just the necessities" that are soooo important and wonderful to have as a new mom.

We've thrown diaper parties and called it that on the invitation -- instructed guests to give baby essential items like baby shampoo, diaper rash cream, diapers, wipes, etc.

I've also attended book-themed baby showers...where guests only give their favorite children's book to help start the baby's library. This is fun to see which books people love to give for the baby. so cute!

Technically, you're only supposed to have a shower for your first child. Some exceptions are....big time gap between last baby and new baby or last baby was one gender and the new baby is another (that one is still a little "iffy") or someone who is financially challenged and maybe needs a little help. It doesn't sound you fall into any of these categories. When I was pregnant with my 2nd daughter, my girlfriends at church wanted to throw a shower and I wouldn't let them but instead I suggested a girl's lunch to celebrate the coming of the new baby--nothing fancy. Sometimes that's all that you really want is to celebrate with your friends & family. Hope this helps.

I guess I am different than the rest of the group...I think EVERY baby deserves his/her own baby shower! It is such a blessing and miracle to have a baby. It is a time to celebrate the new life that is coming into your home! Plus, I was amazed by two things with my second - 1. There is still a lot of stuff that you need that you probably don't have 2. OH MY GOSH - the improvements and NEW fun things that have come out since you had your first! I have two boys, but we decorated COMPLETELY differently for them. Even the paint colors were different. My husband though I was crazy, but as you can tell, I was a second child - and EVERYTHING was a hand-me-down! I didn't want that for my boys. Now, that is not to say that I bought every single thing new, but I did buy some new things. It doesn't have to be an elaborate shower, but I still think that you should have one. Do a diaper shower (God knows that we can't have too many of those!) or just a scaled back cocktail hour shower. Whatever you do - allow everyone to celebrate with you! And most importantly, congratulations! It sounds like you are going to have the best Thanksgiving gift ever! (Also, on a different note...because you are expecting around the holidays - make sure that you take care of holiday stuff WAY in advance. I also had my second around the holidays and I think it is a very delicate adjustment for your first born. Perhaps you can even ask for holiday help versus gifts! It was very difficult to have a baby around the holidays because there is already so much to do - Christmas cards, gifts, shopping, etc. and your elves that helped out with your first are more than likely bisy doing holiday stuff! Just a word of caution - I wasn't prepared for the lack of people able to help - and it is WAY more difficult when you have one at home already!) Have fun and enjoy your little gift!

I too think every baby should have a shower wether it be before or after they are born as each one is reason for celebration and I see nothing wrong with your mom throwing you the shower. If you don't want a typical baby shower there is a freezer shower where everyone brings a meal that freezes well along with the reciepe in lieu of gifts to stock your freezer with meals for when the baby is born. (TRUST me, I JUST had my 2nd and meals are even MORE helpful to have when you are adjusting to having 2 exp when close in age.) Or you can have a diapers and wipes shower. :) Congrats either way!

It's not proper etiquette to EXPECT a second shower, especially if both babies are the same sex. However, if someone OFFERS to throw you one, there isn't anything wrong with that. If you truly don't need anything, your mom can always emphasize on the invitation that this is intended to be a nice gathering to congratulate the new mom and gifts aren't necessary. Or, maybe your mom can specify that gifts aren't necessary, but that there will be a sign-up sheet for babysitting your older child so you can have a little pampering time before the new baby arrives, or a sign-up sheet to bring meals after the new baby arrives, or perhaps accept donations to contribute to a spa gift certificate so you can have one last hurrah before the new baby comes :) . You may not need a lot of 'things' for the new baby, but, as a pregnant mom, you ALWAYS deserve to be pampered...even more so, since you're pregnant with a toddler to chase around this time! Several of my friends and I had our second children in the past 8 months or so, and we all ended up throwing second showers for each other and all got gifts for each other...not because the new mom NEEDED anything (most of us had babies who were the same sex as our first child), but just because we WANTED to get something for the new mom. Even though they aren't THAT far apart, I think it's always fun to go to a baby shower or get a gift for a new mom or a baby so, as long as you aren't the one actually ASKING for it, I don't think there's anything wrong with someone else wanting to do one for you. I have never been offended to be invited to a 'second' baby shower; it's just exciting to do something for a friend!

I think it's against etiquette rules for a family member to throw a shower for you. I know people do it all the time though. I just had my second daughter and my friends took me out for dinner and a pedicure to relax before the big day. We had a great time.

My two girls are 14 months apart and YES we had another shower...not for gifts, but a "celebration of life" party. That is what my cake said on it too. The invitation stated something about "gifts not necessary, Madi (our first) is sharing her things" (something like that). It was great..yes some brought gifts, but nothing like the first shower. I think there is more to showers than the gifts and I did not want my second child not to be celebrated.

I don't know what the exact etiquette is for children after the first one, but I believe every baby deserves to have their own new things. Every baby deserves to be made over, because every baby is special. Hopefully you will get some of the items you didn't get the first time. Items that could be helpful. You might be surprised how many new items have come out in the last couple of years. Good Luck with new baby.

Hi Tiffani, I have a girlfriend that has two pretty close together as well and we are having one for her. She has three girls and boy do they go through things quickly! I haven't ever heard of their being an etiquette issue with a Mom throwing a baby shower for her daughter with second one on the way! I think you are perfectly deserving and it will be lots of fun! You know how everything changes 6 months after they are born! Every item that you received is a different color, has better features, more options LOL, I hope you enjoy and congratulations! Blessings, J.

Every baby deserves his or her own party. I just wouldn't push it with registering anywhere is all. Maybe not invite as many people as last time? Definitely a "stock up" on necesities shower would be a better idea. Maybe even wait a few weeks after the baby is born to have a shower, so that everyone can see her??Good luck on your new baby to be!

We have done this for several of our friends that had second babies...same sex or not...close together or not. I agree that every baby deserves a celebration. We called it a sprinkle instead of a shower and like some of the others said...just ask for diapers,wipes...etc. Most would say that your mom should not have it for you. I say do what you want!

I know it's completely against all etiquette to have your mom throw you any type of shower. However, it seems like most people don't revere the rules of etiquette anymore. Although I'm only 29, I still think the rules should apply. Good luck in whatever you decide!

I know for sure my mom would say that when they are that close together no shower. My mom's in her 50's and Im in my 30's and none of my friends have had shower for second child. So I would have to agree with my mom. I think its kind of tacky. But I have read the other posts. And a welcome party sounds great!! But I would not ask for gifts, especially when they are both girls and very close together. You got to think of it on the other side. You just had a shower with you first a little less than 2 years ago. And your going to be inviting them to all their birthday party's....there's just so much gift asking you can do!! Sorry Im a straight shooter, im not trying to affend anyone..just my personal opinion.

I happen to agree with Lorie. Maybe you and your Mom should consider other alternatives to a 'shower'... Good luck with whatever you decide.

Every baby deserves a celebration!! I have had three little ones and even if they are so close together, new stuff comes out on the market every year. As far as your mom throwing you a shower, if she wants to I don't see an etiquette problem with it. She should though see if some of your friends would like to help out with it and therefore, relieving her of all of the duties so that she can enjoy the shower also as Grandma.

I was pregnant with my second daughter last year at this time and I had a friend ask me about giving me a shower. I declined because it really is not proper etiquette to have a shower for the second baby. However, some of my friends got together and threw me a surprise party that was a "stock the staples" party to stock up on diapers, baby wash, lotion, shampoo, diaper cream, etc. Wonderful idea!! Because I had saved all the clothes, toys and baby gear from the first child I already had all of these things. My baby is now 8 months old and I STILL have baby shampoo, lotion and diaper cream from the shower. The diapers were used quickly! This is a round about way of saying that people like to celebrate the birth of another baby - no matter where it falls in the birth order. He/she shouldn't be any less significant because he/she isn't the first. I was so grateful for all of the staples, and it was so much fun to see so many of friends together to celebrate this new baby. Congratulations!

We were given a "sip and see." I had never heard of one, but it's basically a shower after the baby is born, so everyone can get together and sip tea and see the baby. It was so fun, because it gave me an excuse to get out and get dressed up. People did bring gifts, and I had suggested they just be diapers, but of course people brought outfits too. I think that a diaper shower is a great idea for a second or later child. They are such a huge expense for the parents, and people can feel like they're helping out without being expected to spend a fortune on you . . . again. And really, showers are about getting together with your friends more than anything else.

Congratulations!!

My friend had two girls 17 months apart. She didn't want a traditional shower for the second, but the ladies in our Bible study threw a surprise one for her anyways. She did appreciate getting diapers and a few new clothes for the little one.

Her family did a "Welcome the New Baby" open house at her house a month or two after the baby was born. This way, family and friends got to come and see the new baby and hold her, eat some snacks and cake, and some people brought gifts too. So she was able to get the photos of the new one being celebrated and got some new gifts, without the ackwardness of having a whole second baby shower.

I loved that idea and plan on doing that with our next one. :)

I'm expecting my second son in less than 2 months and the boys will be 2.5 yrs. apart. My opinion is this: etiquette-shmetiquette. If your mother or sister or friend wants to celebrate the coming of a second child- let them! There will be things you'll need a second time around that perhaps didn't survive the first child, will be off-season (like clothes), in endless supply (like detergent, diapers) or an upgrade to accommodate both children (like a double stroller). Make it a lighthearted affair if you're worried about people's expectations to shower you with gifts, or have a registry with inexpensive needs, like diapers, wipes, and onesies. Enjoy the support and cheers of others while you can- soon you'll be busy!

I don't think it is proper for your own mother to host the shower. Usually the baby #2 showers I attend are diapers, wipes, etc. as gifts. However, the "sip and see" sounded like a wonderful idea and seems like it would be okay for your own mother to host that since it is more a celebration and less of a gift event. In fact, that sounds sort of like a birthday party for the newborn... fun!

Hey, Tiffani, congratulations!!

My boys are 18 months apart. I agree that every single baby deserves a celebration. It's not about gifts, it's about getting family and friends together to celebrate your new baby.

Congratulations and have fun!

C.

When I had my 4th child (due at the same time my other kids were born), my friends had a "shower" for me at Super Suppers, a meal preparation place. Everyone came and bought and prepared meals for their families, and then gave one of them to me to take home. We took home about 18 meals total, and it was so great to have them there when we wanted them. Also, our friends also had meals that they took home, so it was a good situation for everyone. We had the place to ourselves and they brought wine and a cake and it was more like a party. I really enjoyed it and so did my friends. It was also nice to do it that way b/c then I didn't have to worry about coordinating meals that people brought to us when the baby was born.