Baby #3?

It takes two, and if he's not on board, you should drop it. Believe me, a third is much more challenging, and you will need his full support to do it. I guess with two, I have to wonder why you feel you need the third.

Maybe give him a little more time. My husband was the same way & I felt the same as you. I am now pregnant w/ baby 3 due in May. My boys are 5 & 3. Your youngest is 18mths so maybe if you show him a change in finances between now & a year or two that may help change his mind. We also needed more space but can't afford to move yet because I am starting a business. Our 3rd bedroom is my office. We built a room in half of our garage. I wish you the best and understand what you are going through.

I agree with Gina, the decision HAS to be mutual on something this major. We went through the same thing, I wanted a third and my husband didn't. All of his reasons were absolutely correct, my feelings were completely emotional. Now that we have two beutiful sons and I am getting close to 40, I am glad we stopped at two. You will always wonder what a third would be like but you have to also be realistic about things.

relax--- sounds as if he has more prespective than you do--- enjoy what God has blessed you with-- take a deep breath--- who knows what can happen in the next 5 yrs---- ?? more money? more space? You have time on your side if it is to be it will be--- it isn't all about what you want-- You sound like a loving mother, but a little immature-- it isn't all about what you would "like". You are a very lucky woman to have what you have. Smile-- it is a good day--bet you have already gotten hugs from all 3 of them!!!!!

When i got pregnant with my 3rd we used protection and i still ended up pregnant,it was one of those things that we both said if it happens it does,if it doesn't it doesn't but i was almost 33 and knew i didn't want anymore.
Yes there are times money is tight(i have a 12,5and3 year-old)but in general we make it.We shop in bulk and we don't have the newest things but our kids are clothed and feed.For clothes we shop at WalMart,Kmart or yard sales.Our cars are paid for(a 2001 &2004)we don't go out alot but we still make it.(Kevin works at a steel factory and i work as a housekeeper at a HIE)our bills are paid and we don't have alot saved but we do have some saved.
Basically what i am saying is this....
if there's a will there's a way to make it work with a 3rd or 1st.(and i'm sure you could get WIC if needed)Sorry no real help.Good luck in whatever happens

J.

I guess I have to disagree a bit with the other posters on this one. If a family is going to add another child, it is essential for both parents to be fully committed and supportive of the idea for things to turn out well. This will not be the case if one parent has to be pleaded with to agree to it. If your husband doesn't want a third child, I don't think that you should push the issue. Maybe in time he will change his mind (you are only 28, so there is plenty of time to wait), but if not, I think you should concentrate on the blessings that you already have with your two sons and accept his decision.

I had many thoughts come to mind as I read your post. My husband and I briefly contemplated having a 3rd child (I had always wanted 3 and he wanted 4 or more) but agreed that 2 was good for us. So while I don't have any advice on how to sway your husband I have a few things for you to think about.

First, this is one decision that I feel needs to be made together and if one parent doesn't want another child I think that has to be respected. As disappointing as it might be to the parent who wants another child it is a huge committment that both parents have to agree upon or it could cause a lot of problems down the road.

Second, I noticed in your response you commented on the money issue. However, you didn't mention how you feel about the space and time issues. If you haven't considered those issues, put some thought into them to see if you agree with your husband or if you have solutions to his concerns.

Also ask yourself if you truly want a larger family or if you perhaps love the thought of having a baby around. In my family we call it "baby love". We love that exhilaration of having a precious newborn to hold and bond with, somehow temporarily forgetting all the work involved and sleep deprivation that goes along with it. LOL

However you choose to pursue this issue make sure you truly understand your motivations and desires and consider your husband's point of view. Good luck to you!

Get him to join the mormon church they beleive in having large families! LOL! Actually thats probably not funny cos I am a mormon!
As you may see in the description about me we do have a large family! Suprisingly, not every mormon does. Mormons actually beleive in having children, not large families. We also beleive in making the descion together and then taking that descion to God. This is how we got our four kids! (Apart from #3 but thats a different story!)
Now I'm not suggesting you should do this but this is the only way we have been able to be sure about having more children. We were partners on it from beginning to end! Thats what marriage is all about.
So whats my point? As much as you love your children, their happiness is greatly increased by the stability of your marriage relationship. The more together you are on things the better. Sometimes, it may mean that someone else has to sacrifice to keep that togetherness. (only in a non-abusive relationship mind you).
Don't let it drive a wedge between you. If you are religious keep a prayer in your heart and then love your husband fully without resentment. I am sure he is a wonderful father and that in itself is such a blessing, espeically in this day and age were good men are hard to find. Especially ones that are in it for the long haul.
Hope you can heal that little empty space in your heart with the family you have. Good luck.

if your husband isnt in agreement i would count my blessings with the beautiful family you currently have. I dont think many people acknowledge more then money children require emotional and mental stability over all else and an unhappy dad makes for an unhappy family. Trying to force the issue could make things much worse. I'd say enjoy the family you have and who knows in a few years MAYBE your husband will feel differntly.

Oh, how I feel your pain! I have one wonderful 8 yr old and I am 34 years old. I would love to have another and my husband says no way. He also gives me sound reasons why we shouldn't but nothing can compare to the desire to have another. It's driving me crazy. It's all I can think about. My reasoning is the same as yours...we really weren't ready or able to care for a child when I got pregnant the first time and we're doing okay. I also think that I would rather struggle financially and have the family that I want then to be regret not having another just so that I can be safe and secure financially. Maybe that doesn't make sense but that's how I feel.

I agree with the others that there is a chance that your husband may change his mind but that's what I thought about mine...and he is still just as sure now as he was 6 yrs ago that he doesn't want another. I'm not trying to be a downer but it's very possible that he won't change his mind. But I hope for your sake that it works out.

I know what you mean about wanting #3. I was your age when I had my first one and I had #2 at 30 and #3 at 33. You have tons of time yet. If your husband isn't ready or willing to even consider having another one you should back off and let the subject cool off for a few months. You have to realize that your hubby is looking at a bigger picture than you are. Your approach is about feelings and wants. He is looking at providing and giving your kids all that he comfortably can in todays economic enviroment. He may be worried about the future of his job and company. He may be worried about providing college educations. Not to mention clothes, food, & health care. You really should respect his feelings about this. Maybe things will be better in a few months and his decision could change....good luck

D., I understand. After the second, I never felt my family was complete. Felt that way after the third, and now after even having my fourth I have baby fever! lol!

BUT I can tell you that my husband was not always on board...so that required me giving him the time he needed to be ok with it. In the meantime, what I did was say "Can you please tell that we aren't at a "never" but that the option is open for maybe a later time". I just needed it to be not finalized...and to sit on it for a while. You had two children fairly close in age and that's alot of change for a marriage to sustain...consider asking him to just keep the option open and see what happens as your children's needs and demands change.

My husband was/is the one who worried about money and common sense...I was/am the one who knows that the heart wants what the heart wants. Praying you two achieve a balance you are both happy with.

Hi D.,
I can sympathize with you. I have two beautiful children, a daughter whose 3 and a new baby boy whose 5 months and I already know that I want another. My husband tells me and everyone else that he is done he says he definitely does not want a third but I can't say the same. I know money is a concern but like you said we couldn't afford the first two and by having one of each we wouldn't have to worry about cloths or toys. Anyway I am not helping you with your issue but know that there are other moms out there who just know they aren't finished having babies and belive me I am going to try to get another one out of him :-) We do talk about it sometimes but I never bring it up b/c I don't want him to say no. if you come up with something let me know.
Hugs,
C.