Awkward "Friend" Situation

What jumps out at me is the fact you had another baby. Does she have other children? Is she having trouble getting pregnant again? Maybe she is jealous you have another baby. It seems to me than when there are issues b/t women, it very often stems from jealousy. I know this can be awkward. I have had my own awkward situation with mom "friends" in a playgroup. It seems there is a fine line between moms being friends, and being a "mom friend." I was in a situation where after being in an playgroup for 2 years, I thought I was "friends" with these other moms. Then I found out they all had a game night together, and I was the only one not in it. That really opened my eyes to the fact they saw me as a "mom friend" and not a real friend. I'm always happy to make a new friend, but some women are content with life as it is, think they have too many friends, or think only a select few would "fit" with them (I call these snobby women!). Is she like this with everybody? Maybe she is just socially awkward since you say it's always been awkward. I would invite her to a 1-1 playdate. If she says no, offer an alternative date. If she says no again, I think that's a clear sign of an issue & you should ask her about it.

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Just let it go and don't be bothered by it. People are different and on paper she may seem like a perfect friend but it's not that way. It sounds like you have other great ladies in your life....enjoy that!

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J.,
It is easy to make friends, but it is hard to be a friend. Maybe this other mom just does not know how to be a friend. Maybe she has had experiences that make her keep people at a distance in her life.Maybe she forgot about the playdate offer and maybe her husband gave her a hard time about missing class for a party. I don't know, but give her the benefit of the doubt. You articulated your feelings so well above. Forgive her for the past and just tell her that you really enjoyed her company in those classes and you want to continue the friendship. I think it is worth at least one more try. Please post an update.
C.

J.,

Yes, I've met people that have made me feel awkward and I agree with your hubby and your friend's advice about having a playdate. It sounds like your friend might be an introvert. You sound like a nice gal who is outgoing and a real people person because you care about this situation enough to seek advice. Introverts can be a strange bunch sometimes, sorry to say:( Sometimes they lack the "right" social skills to keep relationships. My advice is to you is to just be yourself and give her some time and space. Don't take it personally--you didn't do anything wrong. You've known her for a while now, so maybe this is just how she really is. In the meantime, spend time with other friends who are more compatible with.

M.

You sound alot like me in that I worry about things like that all the time and "was it me" and pour over it like crazy. My hubby tells me to "lete it go" but it still bothers me. I lost my identical twin to cancer a little over a year ago and I know my personality has changed quite a bit and now I am more reserve than ever. Maybe something is going on in her life? Maybe it is her?But I wanted to tell you that because you sounded so much like my tiwn and I and we always worried so much about what others thought. But now I realized after what I went through (well still going through it), maybe it is not you and it could be just she ahs something going on that is making her "seem" weird? In either case, she is missing out on a great friend it sounds like. I agree with someone else to not put forth the effort and maybe she will come around.

Women are a strange bunch and we often don't know why we feel a certain way about certain situations (chalk it up to you intuition, she doesnt sound like a suitable, reliable friend). I would say you had more in common with her before you had your recent baby, and that has probably changed the dynamic of the friendship for her. Why waste time on a person that you don't feel close to? I would just be civil to her but forgo any further "dates" with her for now. You can't please all the people all the time no matter what a good person you are. She doesnt deserve a friend like you~~~this is what I feel about it.

I love what Tracy C. and Christine W. said. In addition, she is not your real friend so move on and don't look back! You don't want wierdo friends anyway!

Funny about our perceptions, other posters have focused in on the possiblity that your new baby pushed some button for her, either she wants more and can't have any or things you have enough and isn't interested in the family circus whathave you.
I zeroed in on the dinner with husbands thing. I have had no luck trying to create a couples freindship. Perhaps her husband is the one swaying her.

No advice for the akward feeling. Just know that there is a good chance that within the next few years your social circles will change and you might not be in the same classes. I'm sure if she weren't there all the time, you would have an easier time chalking up to just one of those things and moving on.
It is yucky though, and you seem very nice.

I agree with V.M.---Was the dinner with the husbands awkward?

Some people really just don't have the greatest chemistry. It can depend on lots of things, so don't assume it's your "fault." It's just as likely to be her, and even if you did say or do something that she found uncomfortable, if you don't know what it was, it couldn't have been that awful. And it's really unfortunate for both of you to think in terms of "rejection" or "fault." Why go there?

Since you are uncomfortable with this woman, you'd probably do well not to go out of your way to maintain an active friendship. Be a friendly acquaintance, be cheerful and polite, and if it works well for you both, set up playdates so your kids can enjoy each other.

But don't sweat trying to be a good friend if you don't even know what's going on with this woman's thoughts or emotions. That's just plain exhausting. Not everybody has to like us or understand us, and we don't have to like or understand everybody else. It's just a little co-dependent to think otherwise. The world is full of "near misses."

I had the same exact thing happen to me, our daughters are one month apart and we were friends since pregnancy (we were friends to start with because we were both pregnant moved to a new place and didn't know anyone but we had a lot in common too). She made me feel awkard alot and then she buddied up with a girl that also went to the class we went to and they started leaving me out of things then talking behind my back like teenagers. Now they tell other moms to stay away from me like I'm a bad person honestly this has never happened to me before and I don't know how to react either...All I can assume is some people are guarded and jealous and it's best to just start a new relationship with a new friend and forget that friend because clearly their idea of a friendship is not the same as yours. I wish we lived by each other we would find support in each other since this has happened to both of us.