Sending Kid with Nanny to Playgroup

Totally totally depends on the group. If it's all about the kids/activity/fun, go for it. If it's more of a mom's group and the moms get more out of it than the kids, then don't.

I have attended play groups where the child is brought by the Nanny. It is no big deal! If someone thinks it is then you have to wonder if those are the kinds of families you want to associate with anyway. If the Moms plan outings sans kids, maybe you can go (with or without the nanny and meet some of the moms.

Please do not send your nanny to playgroup with your son.
Playgroups are about the moms getting together. She is totally going to feel out of place.

When the family I did nanny care for hosted playgroups, I always left for the coffee shop for those two hours. Not only did I not know those families and women, I also did not want to be put in the position of having to watch and possibly deal with other people's kids, including possibly having to deal with any kid/kid altercations, which do happen at playgroup.

Having said that, I can also say that having visitors/strangers at my own moms group playgroup was strange, too. There's a certain level of conversation which doesn't happen in the presence of strangers that many of the moms do desire, which is why they go to playgroup in the first place.

In short-- not a great idea. (If you think about it: how would it feel for you to take your kid to a brand new playgroup where everyone else knew each other, but no one knew you?)

ETA: It was helpful to read other people's answers. The moms groups I have been around have been very tight, intimate groups of women. It sounds like some of you have had good, different experiences.:)

Yes and I just felt a little bad for the kids who were not there with their mothers. I felt that the difference was noticeable in this setting. These were smaller playgroups though-under 10 kids. It was also a little awkward interacting with the nanny to be honest. Just not a ton in common and no reason to invest in furthering a relationship at the expense of all the other parents there who I did want to get to know better so that we could form mutual kid/parent friendships.

I did it and still do it all the time. I have twins and joined a twin playgroup when my children were infants. I would send my nanny with the kids. Early on, they would frequently meet at the park during a time that could be considered lunch time so I would try to pop over to the park and join them. Also, I had some work flexibility so I would try to participate (at least partially) in some of the classes that the kids joined together.

When my kids were babies and early toddlers, I tried to join in during the week when possible even if it was just 20 min, but for the most part, I would coordinate with them and then send my nanny. Since then, the other moms have gotten to know my nanny so sometimes they just coordinate with her on availability and she lets me know where and when.

I wasn't the only one working the playgroup though so sometimes we did weekend activities as well in which I would attend instead of the nanny.

It's worked out well for us. I'm not necessarily as close to the parents in the group as those that don't work, but I still participate in Moms night out together and we've even done some weekend camping trips together. Sometimes I feel a little left out or that I'm missing out, but it's more about the kids getting the play and social time with other kids than whether or not I know the latest gossip.

You could ask them how they feel. You could also suggest an occasional weekend gathering or moms night out so you can participate. Or if they meet first thing in the morning and your work allows it, maybe you can stop by at the start of it and then go to work, leaving the nanny there with your kid.

ETA: I haven't seen any issues with my nanny being treated as a stranger or things being awkward in the playgroup. The other moms confide in her just as much as any of the other parents. And she is with my kids full time so she can also discuss kid (or in my case, twin) issues. She has a lot of experience with kids beyond mind and I think the other parents appreciate that knowledge.

I left a group as it became all nanny caregivers after one by one the moms were not into it anymore ( not back to work). No offense, not the same as hanging with other moms.

At first I was thinking that there was absolutely no reason a nanny should not take children to a play group. As I was thinking about it more, I think it really depends on the group itself. If this is a small group of 4 or 5 close friends who have never met the nanny before, it might be a little uncomfortable, but if they had met the nanny before it would probably be fine. Also, if it is a more public play group (we attend one at a children's gym), then there would be no problem at all.

I am a former nanny and I used to go to playgroup for the parents and I also went to my own nanny playgroup with other nannies. It works out well if they aren't clique ish . Just ask the other moms and see what they say~

I think it does depend on the play group. No way would I send our nanny to someone's home. I might to a park though if it was a pretty large group... It also depends on the nanny a bit. Our long term one was in her 60s and English wasnt her first language. That would have been really awkward Our nanny now is in her 20s with a college degree so would fit in fine.

can't even grasp what the problem would be.
khairete
S.

Our Meet Up doesn't care if it's a WAHM, SAHD, nanny, etc. The point is that the kids get out, do something fun, and get out of the house. My friend is a nanny and I met her because she took her charges to the same park and we convinced her to check out our Meet Up. It was nice to see them regularly at Meet Ups. Didn't matter to me at all, since their parents were fine with her driving them. So I guess it depends on the group. I think at this point their parents would feel odd man out since we know the nanny so much better than we know them, but we'd still welcome them if they came.

It depends on the playgroup. I went to a few different playgroups, most of which were focussed on the child and activities for the child, and there were nannies, babysitters, dads, aunts and grandma's there with the kids. A couple of the playgroups were mom focussed, just a chance for women to get together, where a nanny might be out of place.

When my kids were much younger, our nanny used to take them to playgroup, to the library story hour and every place or event like that. She became very friendly with our neighbors (who had similar aged children and were also in the playgroup) and knew more about what our local library was doing for children than I did. It was great! I never heard or felt any weird vibes from the other parents or from her. My kids got to attend normal, little kid things. Our nanny developed a network of other caregivers and parents with whom she could share experiences and from whom she could learn. I got to work & keep a roof over everyone's head, knowing all was good at home.

What's not to like? Worked for us!

I think playgroup is as much for the kids as for the adults. Does your nanny speak English (assuming that's what the other moms speak) so she'd be able to participate in the conversation and form friendships? If so, I'd absolutely send her (just confirm with the group first that they are ok with it).

If she doesn't speak the same language, it might be awkward for her. It might also be uncomfortable for the other moms, who would feel weird excluding her, but might not know how to include her either.

One last consideration - do they meet at parks or at someone's house? If it's at a park, I would definitely say go for it. If it's at someone's house (or rotates between homes), make sure all of the moms who host are ok with it, and also make plans to hold it at your house every so often. When you are the host, you can plan all snacks in advance, clean the house, etc so nanny doesn't have the extra work of getting ready for the playdate. Clean up yourself that evening, too, and give the nanny an extra tip that day as a thank you.

Sure, we've had nanny's bring kids.

I've been in playgroups and activities with nannies and it never bothered me.

In one activity, the nanny was older and was able to share a lot of her experience and advice with us mostly first-time mommies. She clearly loved the child she was there with and we never felt uncomfortable or inhibited around her. She even gave us her number if we ever needed a babysitter in the evenings.

Another nanny in our playgroup was well-liked and respected. She was actually a bit younger than a lot of us and fit in nicely. Just because she wasn't the mom didn't mean that the child she spent the majority of her day with didn't have some of the same issues or do some of the same things our kids were doing. She had nap time frustrations, breakfast battles and ideas on outings for a rainy day just like us. She also would be there if the mother was there, as part of the family. Plus, if we were to set a play date with the child in her care, she would be involved as the host, guest or drop-off house. Why not know and befriend someone that may spend time with your own child?

If I had a nanny, I would see what she was comfortable with. Does she want adult interaction during the day and a chance to meet kids and mothers that might be coming over later in the relationship or would she rather focus on just spending time with my child or have a few hours to herself if I was going to attend? Her wishes are really who I would be more concerned about.