Every since my daughter turn 8 1/2 she has an attitude to know end. When she is told to do something like bath time, brush teeth, let someone else have a turn on the computer, she mouth off which makes her go to time out, which end up screaming when can she get up, and it doesn't end even though I won't let her up until she is quiet for the full 8 min. Anyone got a suggestion that they found work for them.
Thanks so much for the suggestions, I think I am going to try the chart schedule that B. T had suggested hopefully it will cause less agrueing in my house hold.
The only thing that really worked for me was tell the child (my son) to be quiet or he'd have to forfeit play time with friends and if he mouthed back, he lost outdoor playtime with his friends. After missing several sessions, he came around
Falling through the Cracks
Hey, Hey, Hey, here is the classic example of a child who is facing the reality that "center stage" is getting a little crowded:) There is a good possibility that your little princess is feeling a bit "neglected." Maybe she simply needs Girly Girly Time with you (and that is, You only). It's amazing the grounds you can gain during those appointed times. Mom, do you take care of other kids after school? Do you rely on her to help you? Sometimes over-tasking is a major problem with children that age. They need to be cared for as well, they need attention and lots of affirmation. A good book I think all of us Mom could read periodically is A Woman After God's Own Heart by Elizabeth George.
Mine is 9 now, but just barely. And has the mouth of a sixteen year old. She gets a mark on the marker board for everytime she smarts off and each mark is $1 from her allowance. Works for us for the most part.
I started making my 8 yo write sentences as he hates to write and time out was not getting it. it has helped a lot and i also have made a "date night" with him. he chooses where to take me and he takes me out for a couple of hours. it is great and it has helped him alot.
I think most girls this age act out.. they are in between being a little girl and wanting to be treated older. When my daughter was 8 she would always want to sit and listen to adult conversation between me and my friends ..and she felt insulted when I said " go play with the kids".. She didn't like sharing with the younger kids and always thought she knew what was best for her, and that I was just trying to be mean to her all the time..
I found that when I gave her a little control over desisions that pertained to her..she settled down..
I suggest you sit her down with a poster board and colored markers and let her help you make a daily chart..what time would it be good for her to have computer time and what time is fair for bath time..etc. I believe she will have less to be upset about since she help set the schedule. It worked for my daughter, she even added cleaning her room time ..I was shocked!!! LOL and so was she when I made her stick by her own word! Hope this helps. By the way that child is grown now and has a daughter (age 3) and has already started the chart schedule at their home.
My 7 year old is doing the same thing. If it's not something she wants to hear, it turns into stomping out of the room. She's the sweetest thing as long as she's getting her way but when it comes to "NO" it's she turns into a different person. I've just started leaving the room(because if I don't seperate myself from here when she's throwing a tantrum it could get ugly) when she does it and when she decides she wants to be reasonable, then I talk to her. I know that's not much help but it actually works because the more I fuss and yell, the fight escalates.
Hi,
I created an incentive box. All of the little things that you are gonna give them anyway, just get a cardboard box and put some decorations on it. Encourage your child that in order to receive the gift she has to display the appropriate behavior. This did wonders for me.
A little about me:
I am a mother of five ( three boys and two girls) I have been through many different personalities.
I would say not to worry about the full quiet 8 mins. just accept 8 mins at first then work on the quiet part later. We have to take what we can get sometimes, I know this can be hard but we cant exspect TOO much out of them too soon. I hope this has helped, if you dont agree w/ it at first just at least consider the idea.
this always worked for me,i stripped my son of his goods.,computer,phone,tv, going outside, seeing friends.for a few days.this was one thing he hated very much.and he knew that he didnt listen i would and more time
on it.hope this helps.but,i am one dont beleive in time out.it doesnt work for all kids.
Hi B., it sounds like you're doing the right thing. I'm thinking since you do day care at home, she might be a bit jealous of the other kids? Maybe you could spend some extra time alone with her when she's being good, and let her know ahead of time. I had a chart when mine was little, when she did what she was supposed to I put a sticker on that chore or what ever it was, and when she got so many stickers I had wrote on there that I would take her skating or something, rent a movie... Also, write the rules down and post them in her room and on the fridge, and also post the consequences, but you always have to follow though on the reward and on discipline. At 8 she can write, I used to make mine write a one page thing on why she got in trouble while she was on time out, that gave her something to DO on time out, and it made her think about what she did. Hope that helps!
It can be so exhausting when every little task turns into a battle of wills.
Offering choices within your bottom-line limits can be an effective strategy,
even with strong-willed children, to invite cooperation.
You can simply state what is non-negotiable... such as "Before this day ends, your body must be clean."... then offer choices about when or how it will get done.... "would you like to bathe before or after dinner?... do you want to have a bath or a shower?..." Choices can help to prevent resistance.
Another thing that can help get cooperation with activities that happen daily is to create a routine chart. You might make index cards with clip art pictures of each activity, put some hooks up on the wall, and ask your child to hang the activities in the order she would like to do them this week. As the child completes each activity he/she can flip over the activity card and re-hang with the back of the card with a check-mark facing out. The last card might be "read a bedtime story", which would occur on the condition that child had finished all activities and was in bed on time.
With things like getting off the computer, we've had success with using timers.
Let the timer be the boss - it's harder to argue with!
Anyway, just some little ways to give kids a little bit of power/control within firm limits,
which makes things more win-win and offers them some internal motivation to cooperate.
Works for us! = )
Good luck to you,
S.
