Attachment Parenting

I too practice attachment parenting, and my 2 yr old victoria sleeps with us as well. i can't imagine having another baby, because like you said, ALL my EVERYTHING goes to her????? how is that supposed to work? anyway, i'm starting to get mentally ready to put v in her own bed. this is the hardest time i've had so far. i feel so guilty not letting her sleep with me anymore, but i also worry that i might be making her too dependent on me. i really never leave her, we bathe together and sleep together. i feel she needs to start learning that it's okay to be without mom for 5 mintutes!!!! do you feel this way at all?

O.K. I have never heard of attachment parenting myself, but it is the way I started to raise my son. I let him sleep with me, I basically did everything that you say is AP. But, when he was 3 months old I got pregnant with my little girl and married my boyfriend. Now that I am married and have both of my children to give all of the love and attention to it is harder, but I have learned how to spread it out, and as will you. My husband does not let them sleep in the bed with us, but I do get up everytime one of them makes a sound and lay down with them until they are calm and mostly asleep. Usually I sleep in their room with them if it's a bad night. Though it is hard for me not to let them sleep with me it does keep them from waking each other up when they toss and turn as children tend to do. Hopefully this helps a little, it's just the things that I've wxperienced.

We do AP and have two kids, so far. My older, almost three has been an independant sleeper sicnce 5 months, I wanted her in bed with us but she preferred her own bed, in our room until she wanted to go to her room when she was about 10 months she preferred the bed in there. My son starts in his bed, he is 11 months and comes to bed with us if he wakes at night. we stayed with my daughter until she fell asleep for about two years and now she is fine on her own. I still lay with or nurse or hold my son before putting him down in his bed, in our room. I just let their needs lead my actions. I felt guilty at first when I got pregnant, still nursing and felt that it would take time away from my daughter. As it has turned out she LOVES having a sibling, in fact has suggested we have more babies. It is certainly a challenge but you will take it day by day and find what works for you. I have friends who cosleep with their 3 1/2 year old and twin 9 month olds and they love it--totally attached. Babywearing will be one of your best tools, slings then front/back carriers. I tandem nurse and that has also been an evolving relationship. Lots of hugs and love and all will be ok. Please feel free to contact me and I can give you more stories and answer any other questions. Good luck.

I have 4 children and my older 2 are 15 months apart and you know what I learned, Love grows, so worry no.1 solved - if you are into psych then you may know who Leo Buscaglia is and his book Love answered those Q's for me. So like I said, love grows - you'll have plenty.
And your concern about how will it work, it just does. it simply means you'll be up and down a bit more - less alone time for but they are only little for a short time. But may I advise do it while you are young! Good luck.

Good for you for being such a loving mother! I was the same way with attachment parenting until I had my second. It gets harder but its worth it. You can still practice attachment parenting but as the older child grows his need will not be as demanding. So he may not need attachment parenting as he learns more and grows independent. As for co sleeping, when I was midway through my pregnany with my scond I started getting my first born to sleep by her self in her own room. It will be easier for you if you do this before the next baby is born. Babies wake up so much in the middle of the night and it won't be fair to the older child if all of you are in bed together waking him up. But you can always try what you feel is best, after all mother knows best!

I do this by instinct and never knew it! My first son always slept with me. When I got pregnant with my second we realized that our bed was too small for all of us. I started to try to transition my son out of our bed. What I eventually did was a modification of "The Nanny" routine. Her advise is to put the child in bed and go out of the room. If the child gets out of bed put them back without saying anything. The way I modified it was I put a mattress on the ground and started lying with him, in HIS bed, until he fell asleep. When that was going well, I would sit on the floor next to him until he fell asleep. When he was comfortable with that I would sit across the room. Soon he was ok falling asleep in his bed by himself. I am now attempting this same routine with number two who just turned 2. It's been a great success and I don't feel at all guilty. And now it's kind of a treat for me when they get up early and come in and lay down in our bed with us. Hope this helps!
P.S. If your dogs sleep with you don't be surprised if they follow your son into his bed. My cat spends all night with my boys now. :) Good Luck!

I haven't heard of attachment parenting. What is this?

Hi T.,

API is a great resource. http://www.attachmentparenting.org/index.html

I often e-mail questions and get a response within a day.
good luck!

I have never heard of Attachment Parenting before so I googled this and it brought up some websites, one of them being a few couples that have more then one child while doing attachment parenting. Might be some information on there that can help out.