At What Age???? - Phoenix,AZ

Tell him that santa isn't real, but still give him presents from santa. If youare haing another child he will see that it's important to keep this up. We still have santa gifts at my parents house. It's just funny. As far as big birthdays go, let him decide. He might want a bunch of people or you could give him a few options. Laser tag with a few friends and pizza after, Movies, Dave and Busters for the day, a special day at the Zoo, something that he's never done before and he can pick a few of his best friends to tag along. I think he might remember that more.

my best friend still gets presents from santa, she is 31. :) My mom never let me believe in Santa or the Easter bunny all of that. We did stop doing the Easter egg hunt when I was about 12. Now might be the perfect time to let him know that Santa isn't real, you know him being with the wise adults while baby brother or sister is still in the dark. If he seems to be excited about it then go with it, if he is getting to that teenagery stage of, "This is lame." then let it go.

In my family... Santa still comes for the great grandparents in their 90's (even when the "next" generation hasn't been born yet, much less when we've got littles!). If santa didn't leave me presents, even though I bought and wrapped them myself, I'd cry. ((Family tradition, though... everyone sneaks something into everyone else's stocking in secret -a no ego gift, you're not allowed to tell what's from you- so you never "know" what's from santa and what's from other people))

We hid eggs in the USMC (and had 3000 marines running around, crawling under bushes, picking each other up to "shake" the eggs out of pockets, climbing buildings, and rigging rappelling gear to get the eggs that had been put in gutters 4 stories up)... depends on the command if this sort of thing happens or not. All you need is ONE prankster to get it going, and everyone jumps on board.

All one needs for magic is a little excitement in your heart.

I'm 39 and I still get stuff from Santa and the Easter Bunny. I'm not kidding.

Our rule is that Santa only goes to one house in a family (easy to continue after me and my sibs are grown cuz I have the only child) so if you aren't there then your gifts get left at the house we were all at and you get them later (ie I mail my sister her stuff if she can't fly in to celebrate).

I advocate honesty in every single circumstance I can think of...... except Santa, the easter bunny etc.

My daughter is 10 and I have no idea if she actually believe in Santa and the easter bunny, but she definitely "believes" in their spirit - which is the most important part. She would NOT plant doubts in a younger child if one came into the family because she sees how excited everyone gets. Plus, she benefits. "if you don't believe - you don't receive".

It was the year I graduated from college that my mom explained she had been contacted by Santa and he needed some help with gifts - she suggested we become Santa and we each all start getting everyone else in the family gifts. At some point after dinner on Christmas eve we each put "our" Santa gifts in the stockings (or easter baskets) so no one knows who gave what - or if anyone gave at all.

For Easter - our routine is similar to Christmas, actually. We each have a basket and we leave treats for the Easter Bunny before bed. When we wake up we see if we have been 'visited'.
But we also hid eggs for my daughter around the house until she was probably 8 - those little eggs that you can open and hide stuff in.... some were empty, some had little jewelry pieces or stickers and 1 egg had $20.00.

Every child is different in their learning abilities. Some are ready to be told at earlier ages, and some aren't. You need to base it on their comprehension level.

I have two children ages 5 and 2. We are a Christian family and believing in God is very important to us. When a child gets told that the Easter bunny, Santa, tooth fairy aren't real, they tend to expect to have you tell them that God isn't real too. I really feel that honesty is important. From the time my daughter was three, we explained that those things are just pretend, and who doesn't like to play pretend? We still have fun finding Easter baskets and getting things from Santa, but we know that there are bigger things beyond the pretend. It's about being together as a family on those special days and, for us, celebrating the true meaning of the holiday.

We also raised our nephew from the time he was 12. Throughout his teenage years I made him Easter baskets and gifts from Santa. Why? Because it's a blast! There's no better thing than seeing your 16 year old come home from school with his good friends and finding that they each have a mini stocking of fun treats with their name on it. He's 22 now and we still talk about what fun they had during those years. If you are creating fantastic memories, then you are doing great. Birthday parties are the same. We do small parties or dinner with family and close friends. It's not about the gifts, but the memories.

Congratulations on your new baby, and have a blessed Easter!

I think that 12 yrs old is a good age to tell him. Most kids by that age have figured it out any way. You still can have fun with easter. Though he may know the truth I'm sure that he'll still enjoy getting a easter basket and hiding it still can be fun for him.

I think you should play along with it as long as he wants you to. That's my plan. My oldest son is 8 and he started asking questions about santa this year, I would just turn the questions around on him and ask him "what do you think, do you think he exists/ is real?". I say the same for the Easter bunny. I don't want the 8 year old to ruin it for my 5 year old just yet. He decided that santa is real for this year but I'm not sure how he'll feel next Christmas.
I think when your baby is old enough to really know about santa your stepson will also be old enough that he'll want to keep the magic alive for the baby. I'm sure he'll go along with ti for the sake of his little brother/sister :)

We've never been big birthday party people. Don't get me wrong - we celebrate in a huge way with family, but we've never gotten into the big Chuck-E-Cheese with 1000 kids party kind of thing. My kids don't really like crowds. As for Santa, he'll come until the kids move out. :) My oldest is 13, and he knows that we're the ones supplying the gifts, but he loves the spirt of Santa, and he likes playing along for his 7 year old brother. Even when they both know the truth, Santa will come. He came to our house growing up until my brother and I moved out, and we loved it. As for Easter, we'll probably continue simple Easter baskets, but my oldest is already sick of hunting for eggs. He plays along for his brother's sake, but I know he'll be thrilled when that ends.

Depends on the child..as to when the celebrating like a child stops.
BUT, I have 3 children ( 31/2 years apart) and the Santa, Easter Egg hiding and such didn't stop for the oldest till the youngest was ready for it to stop :-)
I think my oldest was 18 years old LOL !! My kids are now 23-G, 19-B and 16-G and this year the girls will get a basket (the boy is in Korea...sent him a package already) and I will make them their favorite egg treat and make a bunny cake :-) It never has to stop !! Relax and just do as you want. AND... How I handled when the oldest stopped believing in Santa and the youngest still did? Simple... No more Santa gifts if you tell the youngest ! LOL Santa brought the "big items" stereo (ect..) sooo we were okay in that departmant. Doesn't matter and as my children aged I noticed it was actually ME that wanted the celebrations and the gift giving :-) Sooo whatever... I STILL do them LOL I make them endure MY holiday needs :-)
God luck !!

My boys are 7 years apart so the teenager is still forced to endure santa and the easter bunny. Although he knows I am both he is a pretty good sport about it. We hide 2 dozen eggs and about a bakers dozen of plastic candy eggs we hide some easy and some hard so the teenager isnt completely bored.

My mom did all the santa/easter bunny stuff 'till we moved out. And she still makes me my fav dinner on my birthday (I'm 29, married and with 3 kids of my own). My MIL did/does the same for my husband and his brother.

Birthday parties got smaller and smaller as I got older, starting around age 12. BUT, they got 'fancier' - like taking just 2 or 3 friends to the movies, pool, whatever.

I think you have to take your cues from your kids. If they roll their eyes and seem totallt put-off by an easter basket, then maybe just give them a chocolate bunny or something? But just because a child doesn't 'believe', doesn't mean it can't still be fun :o)

My kids are too young yet, but I will answer what my mom did - she did it all through growing up till we left the house at 18. Of course she'd wink at us when giving us gifts from Santa or the Easter Bunny when we were older and obviously knew. She still sometimes gives me gifts from Santa! Funny.

Well, I still LOVE big birthday parties. Just now they are every 10 years rather than every year. I think your kids may have input into what sort of birthday party they want. We are Jewish so have never done Santa or the Easter bunny. However DS (5) has always known they are pretend but has never (as far as we know) spilled the beans to his friends. (He has told the girls in his class that the Disney princesses are pretend though)

Not sure what to say about the big birthday parties as due to money issues my kids know that those are not always available... but I will still have them invite a friend or two for cake and ice cream if I cannot do a party.

Easter baskets and the hiding of them... my teens still enjoy that then again they still like playing hide and seek with their younger brother.

Santa - with this when the older ones no longer believed we told them we are understand that they no longer believe. We asked them to respect there younger siblings belief that he is real and let them enjoy this time of believing like they were given that chance. It is a part of childhood that should not be taken from them.

Santa and the Easter Bunny come no matter what age we are! Birthday parties change to be appropriate for age. Ask him what his friends do to celebrate their birthdays and what he would like to do. Friends are really important during the pre-teen and teen years, so he might want to do something special with just a couple of friends.

My MIL still give things to us from Santa (but its the next day)... We always had some sort of treasure hunt too or a game ...obviously we dont believe in Santa but she still keeps the tradition....always has and now that the grandkids are here its more fun for the whole family....nothing for Easter though.

I have 8 children that range between the ages of 20 and 1. I think it's wonderful that you throw "friend birthday parties" for your son. It's the one day a year that can be truly his own. Where you can show him that he's special to you. We usually do a "family party" with the immediate family on the actual day of the birthday and if they want to the kids can throw a "friend party" on the weekend. We also take them out for a one-on-one "date" with Mom and Dad. As for the Easter basket, I don't think he'll ever grow out of it, even if he doesn't believe in the Easter Bunny anymore, it's just one more way to help him feel special. Change it up, put things in his basket (other than candy) that he'll appreciate. Then when your new addition (congrats!) is born, have your son be a part of making the holidays special for the little one. My older children LOVE being "Santa" to the younger children. We never had to sit down and explain it to them, they just gradually connected the dots themselves. You'll see that as he gets older. But 11 is still young, enjoy him while you can because he'll be grown in the blink of an eye, and when he is, he'll look back and appreciate all you did for him to show you loved and valued him! Hope this helps ~ F.

I was a pretty logical child and figured out the whole Santa thing at age 5, but I still loved to pretend. My mom told me I was right that Santa wasn't real, but that it's real fun to pretend. My mom gave us Easter baskets with treasure hunts until I moved out and I still thought it was so fun. We didn't pretend it was from the Easter Bunny anymore as a teen, but she always made the holidays so special and fun. You don't outgrow that! I still invited friends over to hang out for low-key birthday get togethers as a teen, but it was more initiated by me and not some big party thrown by my parents. We also started just taking each other out for dinner for our birthdays as my friends and I got older, too, but he's got a ways before that. Ask him if he'd still like a party and keep doing it until he's no longer interested. I personally can't imagine ever wanting to stop celebrating your birthday. Teens are just big kids.

We had this issue when my niece and nephew were living with my parents for a while. My kids still had no clue so we were very happily doing the holidays with all their special magic. We told them both that in no way were they to be rude and hurt the feelings of my kids and let them in on the reality. Thankfully they understood and respected our children's beliefs. There is an 8 year difference between my oldest and youngest. Right now my oldest still believes but it's not going to be far off before he learns the truth. He will be told that he is not to ruin it for his younger brother and little sister and for their cousin that's 4 months younger than my youngest. Same down the line.
It is still special to receive the gifts. Us grown ups still get things from our parents and I can guarentee that when my kids are "too old" they'll still be getting presents from Santa, the Easter Bunny, The Great Pumpkin(Halloween) and anyone else that wants to come to our house.
As for birthday parties, in all honest we stopped throwing them ages ago for personal reasons, not because we felt anyone was getting too old for them or anything like that. They all get a special trip to Disneyland and we get together with the family for a special dinner out. But, if your kids want a friends party I would not say they are too old at all. I know I was still having them at 16+.