Anyone Out There Surprised to Learn Their Child Has an Active Facebook Account?

Updated on October 28, 2011
S.D. asks from Hastings on Hudson, NY
12 answers

My name is Sue D., and I am (still!) working on an article about parentings and kids on Facebook. Has anyone out there realized only after the fact that their child or young teen was on Facebook, and had been on Facebook for a little while? What did you find? How did you find out? All insights welcome! Thank you...

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H.M.

answers from Dallas on

No, set up my son's account for him and set the rules for it. That way he does not feel he has to go behind my back and do it. As of right now he does not have his pass word only I do that way he is not on it if I am not around. My brother and sister in law let their kids who are older have thier passwords but they are not allowed to change them.

1 mom found this helpful

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F.H.

answers from Phoenix on

My cousins dtr is 16 and has a fb page for a couple years. Well, a week or two ago, I realized I hadn't heard from her, saw her posts or anything so I thought she deleted me. She was under my friends and I clicked on her page. I noticed under "people you may know" it listed her name again but with her middle name too...I was like HUH? So I realized she had 2 pages. So I clicked on it, saw that she had about 160 friends, looked up her mom, her dad, a few other family names, and none were there. Ok, so I texted her mom (my cousin) and asked if she knows that Savannah has 2 fb pages? She asked what name it was under and I told her. Long story short...no, she didn't know. When she set up this second fb page, she BLOCKED 28 family members but clearly missed me somehow...thank God. And my cousin ended up finding out that not only was her 16 yo sexually active with explicit pictures, language and even listing her cell number....she also was masturbating and showering over skype to her boyfriend!!!! She was so thankful that I was "looking out" for my little cousin and told her about this...she was headed down a road she clearly should not have been and luckily my cousin has put a stop to it. But its very scary that Savannah just didn't "get it". My cousin was asking her if she really believed only her boyfriend was watching her on skype or did she think he could have been taping it and she could be all over the internet??!!!! She just said he wouldn't do that! UGH!!! These kids just don't get it. My kids are 12 and 9 and don't have phones or FB or anything else and now I'm afraid to get it for them. They both want cell phones but have not asked to be on fb. So that is my story of a teen and fb. I'm so glad I happened across it and caught it when we did. As bad as this was, there is no telling what else could have happened.

1 mom found this helpful

N.N.

answers from Detroit on

Several years ago I kept hearing about My space, and I was not informed about it and I knew the dangers of the internet so I would tell her do not open up a page. I found out my then high schooler had a page after she had graduated and was on to college.

1 mom found this helpful

R.R.

answers from Los Angeles on

My grandson had an older friend set up an account for him when he was 11, as he had to lie about his age. That said, I found out about it immediately so he's always had accountability, I'm his friend, his uncle, aunt, etc., are also his friends. But now that he just turned 13 he's rarely on it anymore, the novelty has worn off.

My granddaughter, his sister, knows she can't have an account until she's 13, so has 3 more years. I occasionally allow her to go on my account to play a game, and stay in the room with her.

It will be interesting to see what social medias are out there in 10 years or so when my now 2.5 yo will be using them.

K.I.

answers from Los Angeles on

Nope, all my boys asked first.

We all have an account and are eachothers friends. We have had the accounts for going in 2 years. Boys are now 20, 17 & 16.

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T.M.

answers from Philadelphia on

I set up my kids accounts with them. They are my friends and i have their passwords :)

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S.H.

answers from St. Louis on

several friends had this happen with their kids. The families were split 1/2 & 1/2 as to whether or not the kids were allowed to keep the accts. All kids were punished....grounded, etc.

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G.B.

answers from Oklahoma City on

I opened the accounts for them.

I monitor them due to the fact that their computer is in the living room in front of God and everyone. They can't do anything that is in any way wrong with all of us looking right at the monitor. They love to play the games and have a lot of fun visiting with relatives.

They are hidden by FB due to the age issue. If I log in for my business and type their names in the search box they don't even come up. They have extreme privacy due to being under age. They only have friends that I allow, their friends and some of my friends. Well, I do allow some friends of my friends to friend them but only for playing games purposes. These friends have allowed their children to be friends with these people and I trust these friends.

V.W.

answers from Jacksonville on

I set up my son's account FOR him. Husband and I gave him the rules for using it, and if he breaks them, his account will be gone.
He's had it for a week, has over 20 friends (and some waiting to be added) and he has hardly been on it. He just isn't that into it.

I wonder if this next younger generation (the just turned teen group and the ones that follow) will not care about it as much as the ones that were around in the "right" age group when it first came out and was popularized.

J.B.

answers from Houston on

My daughter, now 11 created a FB accout when she was 10 without her mom or I knowing. Her mom made her take it down immediately. Almost all of my daughters close friends have one. I've looked at them and the one my daughter had briefly and found nothing inappropriate. Just pre-teen girls being silly. I'm not opposed to her having one, but her mom and I are divorced, so mom's rules for now.

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P.B.

answers from Austin on

My daughter, I think she was 13 then, started up a facebook account about the time I got one. I didn't want one, but 2 friends wanted me to (now I'm addicted). At that point, my daughter admitted she also had a MySpace account -- without permission. I made her get rid of it.

I think I found out by just saying "oh, I'm thinking of joining facebook" and she has always been open with me and told me then. We are mutual friends on it. She doesn't like me commenting on her stuff (ha...)

I see some of my friends' kids "out there" and I know for sure one set of twins is way underage (they are 9 or 10!) -- they friended me but their mom is on it too. She's our former scout leader!

My daughter seems much more careful than I have been. She even lectures me about friending people I don't know. I usually friend ppl I don't know if they are on a certain prayer page. :)

HTH
Edited: Yikes, just read MzKitty's post. A few months ago, I noticed a funny name on my daughter's wall...turned out her best friend was doing role play with another ID (a la Harry Potter), which led to a discussion with my daughter about that.....

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N.B.

answers from Jamestown on

My children helped me set up mine...so no surprise there. I look at there's and let them know what they need to take off and use the privacy setting for.

My "kids" are 24, 21, and 18 now..the one's who have FB accounts. I make sure I can monitor what they post so they don't get in any trouble...since big brother is watching. I make sure they do not accept APPS which give the cyberworld access to ALL their information. If they apply for a job in Government for instance, I let them know that posting something demeaning in regards to the current President.... they're not getting the job. Or if they spout off something about their current employment, they are likely to get called to the office and possible get fired.

Kids who ,are of age, have an account is not really the issue, it's that they need to watch what they post on their account.

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