Anyone Just Leave Swim Lessons for Their Kids to Learn as Adults?

Just go to the pool to play. she'll just run around and get comfortable with the water on her own time. She is probably tall enough to stand in the shallow end, so just have fun. No need for swim lessons unless she is in training. I grew up around pools and never had a lesson and I am a great swimmer!

Likely you won't have to wait until she's a teen so don't stress too much. The way my kids finally got into it was with a lake. Pools are tough bc almost instantly they're over their heads in water. The lake allows gradual wading in. I can't swear by it but it worked for both my kids. So maybe you could try that this summer somewhere and if not, don't worry. By age 7 or 8, she'll be much more rationale. Potentially even by 6. Stuff like this can change quickly. I wouldn't push anymore now.

I think that I would find a reluctant or poor swimmers class when she is older and more willing to do it on her own. I would ask the pool what options are available for older kids (say mid-elementary?) and then just wait til she's ready to do it.

Did she have a scare? I fell off a kickboard when I was little and had a really bad time with deep water after that.

I would just expose her to pools and lakes when you are there yourself under normal conditions. Let her get comfortable. Most kids learn more from watching their swimming peers. Some people are afraid of water forever. During the hot summer when everyone is playing at the pool let her own curiosity and desire to learn to swim take a natural course. Why put yourselves through all of this trauma?! She'll embrace it when she's ready.

<raises hand> Me! I might not wait until adulthood, but I'm waiting until my kids are older. They didn't freak out or anything, but they goofed around during lessons (several years ago) and didn't even try to learn what the instructors were teaching.

Now they're begging for lessons and we are still deciding if we should spend the money or not. My middle (10) is pretty good at swimming on her own - self taught.

Don't feel bad - I wouldn't.

Either wait until she is older or don't do them at all. It sounds like she is having anxiety about the lessons. During the summer continue taking her to swim parks or pools just play with her in the shallow end. When she gets older and sees other kids swimming she may be motivated to take on lessons again or learn on her own. My mom put me in many private swimming classes up until I was 8 or 9. I don't remember acting out about going but I do know that now as an adult I realize I have a fear of being under water. In every class I could get to the part of putting my face under water and moving my legs and arms but I could never put my full head under water. Im 27 now, I don't swim. I can swim and occasionally with goggles when I feel like it I may go under for a while and swim back and forth but for the most part I dont do it. I start panicing as soon as I go under. I feel like Im suffocating and as soon as the water hits my ears and nose I start tasting it in my throat. I know that if there was an emergancy situation I could swim but thats as far as it goes. Be patient with her and let her tell you when she is ready.

I have to agree that she is not ready yet. Wait a bit, let her get comfortable around water like at a beach and then try to introduce playing in a pool. While swimming is a very important thing ot be able to do, the least she needs to know if how to keep herself afloat. I was 8 when I finally learned to swim. Thanks to a "friend" who tried to drown me, I have not really been able to since later that summer. But I can keep myself afloat and do not believe I would drown if for some reason I was caught in water. I have been in a wave pool that I was capsized by my son and was able to pull my self up to get to the side. That is what you want her to be able to do. Not everyone learns the true strokes of laps in a pool. Lifesaving measures are more important--this advice came from a coach that taught swim and cpr classes at a local pool. He held special classes for kids and teens to teach them how to save themselves instead of panic if they got in trouble.

Okay, I haven't just waited for my kids to learn as an adult, but I wanted to share my story with you. When I was in pre-school, they offered swimming lessons and so my mom signed me up because I wanted to do it. Well, you don't get to just play in the water during swimming lessons. As a 4 year old girl, I didn't like that fact. Plus, they had the whole class holding the side of the deep water (which was probably only 4-5 ft) but seem 20 feet deep to me. I wasn't paying attention and let go of the side and went under the water. They picked me right up, but I was done with it. After the first day, I told my mom I no longer wanted to go back to the preschool because I didn't want to go to swim lessons again. She told me I didn't have to do swim lessons and I learned to swim later on when I was in early grade school.

My opinion is don't push her. She will want to do it when she's ready. It may be when she's an adult, but I'm sure when she does get older she'll want to learn.

I taught my older two children when they were ready. They were both toddler/preschool age. We lived at an apartment complex in San Antonio, so summers where HOT. My daughter was 4 and my son was 2 when they learned. My son learned to swim under water before swimming above. He was better than my daughter at first, he wanted to swim, she was scared of going under the water. By the end of summer she swam good above, it still took another year before she swam under water, then they were both fish in water.

I really think you should just wait, she'll want to learn some day.

I put my three year old right into PRIVATE lessons since he's SOOOO easliy distracted. He's done really well. Glad I did private lessons from the start and saved myself the aggravation. All I wanted was him not to be scared of water and he's NOT scared of ANYTHING water related. (Mission accomplished!) It probably helped that both of his instuctors are very pretty and my son is in love with them both.

I think she's not ready yet. EVENTUALLY her friends will invite her to something swim related and she'll want to learn. Give her time but I TOTALLY get your frustration! Take "swim lessons" out of the sentence and replace it with "Kindermusic." Ugh, THAT was painful, so GLAD I'm done with that nightmare!

Wow, your story sent shivers down my spine! I had a similar situation happen to me when I was very young, about the same age as your daughter. I was accidentally kicked in my Aunts pool and went under water and felt as though I was going to drown. From that day on I was absolutely TERRIFIED of the water and never learned to swim. It was awful! I skipped pool parties and outings at the lake as a teen because I was embarrassed to tell my friends I didn't know how to swim, yet my terror of the water kept me from learning how to swim. I sure missed out as a child! To this day I do not like getting my face in the water and my self-taugh swimming skills are lack luster at best which has held me back in many ways. Your daughter is obviously tramatized about the water. I would definitely give her some time, but she absolutely needs to learn how to swim. Like some of the others have mentioned I would keep her water exposure to fun "water play" to get her more comfortable with water and when she is more comfortable with the water try lessons again. Don't let her put you off though. That's what I did with my parents and they never forced the issue and I regret it.

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I think all children should be taught basic water safety. I put my son in swimming lessons when he was about that age. He didn't like it at first - at all. But ours was lessons were Mom didn't get in the pool. The kiddos went in with the instructors and learned basics. He hated getting his face in the water (though he would dunk his head in the tub). Anyhoo, they were not that successful - he didn't become a great swimmer, but he knew how to float and learned water safety.

Fast forward a couple of years and we rented an apartment that had a pool in the complex. Then I taught him to swim. He will never qualify for the Olympics, but I feel comfortable with him in the water now. Whenever we get a chance to go on vacation I make sure to pick a place with a pool so I can continue to give him pointers and lessons as I am still a better swimmer than he is.

You might want to let the lessons rest for awhile and try again when she is older.

Good Luck and God Bless

I would definitely wait until she's older. After watching everyone swimming during the summer and having to sit on the side lines, she may change her mind.

My daughters are great swimmers and never took official swimming lessons. I tried working with them, and I got kicked too. My girlfriend, who was a certified instructor many many years ago, worked with them. At Girl Scout camp they also received instruction. For them it was something that just developed over time.

I did not read the other responses....

Have you thought of just skipping formal lessons altogether and you and her just play and splash in the water one summer? Just enjoy it. Have a pretend tea party. Be mermaids together.

My take on what you wrote, and I know it probably does not represent the entire story, but whenever I have witnessed that kind of behavior from kids towards a parent, I see it as the child screaming for just one on one time with mom/dad in the pool.

I think being in the water for a small child is terrifying and they need mommies constant reassurance that they will be OK. And they don't have the verbal skills to tell you that they are afraid with another adult so they just take it all out on you.

I have personally taught all my children to swim. Nothing fancy. Just the life saving doggy paddle and how to reach the side. I do it in a very fun, hold em close to me until THEY are ready to let go sort of style. And as often is the case, I have noticed over the years, that I am one of only a handful of moms who take a personal, hands on approach in the pool. Most moms show up at the pool, completely clothed, expecting a complete stranger to teach their child to swim. It defies common sense.

And, my first daughter went on to win first in Washington State, free style in HS. So my humble attempt seemed to work out.

My nephew was a bit like that. He took a two year break and started again at age 7.

J.

The staff at the pool surprise dunked her? That's absolutely unacceptable!
Have you put in a complaint about their action?
I agree that you need to just lay off the lessons for a while and just let her do fun things in water at home. If you ever do decide to try swim lessons again, I'd go to a totally different place for them. It might be that if she was at a different pool with different instructors she'd be more willing to try, but she will still likely have a negative reaction for some time.
I didn't learn to swim until I was a young adult. During the process of learning my teen age sister decided to surprise dunk me. Many years later, even though I can swim, I still have fears related to that dunking. Having had that experience, I am of the definite opinion that you need to make a complaint about the pool staff who did this to your daughter and make sure that whoever is in charge understands that their actions can make a life-long difference in a child's ability to deal with being in the water. The people who did this to your daughter need serious re-training, to say the least.

I think I would be cutting my teeth on the city pool staff who threw her into the water. First, I don't ever think it's funny to be thrown, unexpectedly, into a pool and I swim very well and am in no way afraid of the water. If I didn't swim, I can imagine it would be terrifying. I would write to the city pool director and tell that person what happened and then ask for free, private lessons for your daughter that are done very slowly in order for her to overcome her fear. They put the fear in her; they need to help take the fear out of her! Other than that, I'm with you. i wouldn't take her any more either.

Skip the lessons. Get her a floaty suit, the ones where the entire abdomen is a sewn -in flotation device and make going to the pool fun again. We got our child a suit when she was about 2 and never tried to teach her how to swim. We encouraged her to keep her head out of the water, though, because those suits keep the kids afloat but not necessarily upright--but she instinctively learned that easily. Before we knew it, she was paddling away from us. We had that suit for 2 summers (well, not the same suit, but two identical ones), and she asked one day if she could try swimming without it. She did a lot of sinking, but I was there to pull her up. She kept trying because after 2 years of associating the pool with fun, she wasn't afraid of getting her face wet or being a little adventurous. Last year, at 4, she began swimming all by herself. It's not proper swim-class swimming, but she gets from point A to point B, she doesn't sink, she knows how to float and tread water...all the things that will keep her safe in the pool. Don't push the lessons; make the pool fun again.

Believe it or not the YMCA has a great swimming program. Plus if you visit various Y's they have things that kids loove. At the end of the swim lesson they have games where they throw the balls or rings in the water. Plus the one I go to has a little kids water fountain in the middle. It just looks so fun that the kids love it. Make sure you explain your situation to the Head of the Department and then also to your daughters teacher. Mention the dunking etc. which they do not do!!Good luck!

Let her enjoy playing in water -- Have her run through the sprinklers in the back yard, buy one of those little plastic pools and let her splash around in that. (well supervised of course). Are there any parks nearby with fun water activities? Eventually she will be willing to take lessons again.

When I was a child my parents couldn't afford lessons for five kids. They just signed us up for the swim team at our local pool. (The swim team said they could take beginners). I was going into 3rd grade at the time. After two summers, I was a repectable swimmer.

Good luck!

I would try in a year, or even just a few months in the summer. Drownings are a huge cause of death for children.... not just in swimming pools, but creeks, neighbors homes, flash floods... things happen. She may mature enough in a year or even 6 months to do the lessons. My son is 5 and he goes through this, one week he is terrified of the water, the next week he loves it. you just have to be consistent with her.

Perhaps lessons with the ymca would help. In the meantime, take her to splash parks or when it gets warmer play with her in the shallow end at the pool so she gets used to seeing how fun the water is. Put her in the life vests she can float with and she will learn how to paddle and swim eventually on her own with your gentle guidance.

First, I wouldn't give up. Teaching a child to swim is one of the the most important things we can do to keep our children safe. In my opinion it's just as important as wearing a seatbelt in the car. However, it sounds like after her first experience she isn't quite ready to jump back in yet. What I would do is have her "practice" at home in the bathtub. Explain to her that it's very important that she learns how to swim because it's a safety issue, but that you understand she's nervous about it. I would have her get in her suit and goggles and have her play in the tub, if you have a deeper tub that's even better, but if not, a regular tub will do. Then just practice with her putting her face in the water in the bathtub. It will take time for her to be comfortable, but she will do it eventually. And once she is totally comfortable with that, then I would try the lessons again. Just let her know that you won't make her take lessons again until she is 100% comfortable with it.

I'm sorry, but I think I would be more concerned that she hits/kicks/punches you for ANY reason!!

To answer your question: I learned to swim because my Grandpa threw me in the deep end and there was no other way out, lol! My four kids have never had a lesson and the three older all swim fine-my youngest is still a little nervous but thinks he will be ready this Summer for no swimmies (he CAN swim w/o them, he is just scared to). I think exposure and comfort are more important in this matter than anything else, if you want her to learn to swim, take her to the pool, let her see all the fun other kids are having, how all of the 'cool, big' kids are doing it and they are fine...make it more about her having fun than learning something you want her to learn.

P.S. no, I didn't throw my kids in the deep end, they learned on their own and going in the deep end was a reward for being able to swim back and forth across the shallow end without letting their feet touch the bottom :)

Do you have access to a pool? You can have her play on her own. Get toys and float devices for fun. Have her practice swimming from the step to you first for a few minutes then she can have free-play. I did that with my kids at grandma's house. They loved to play with the pool toys and splash on the steps. I just made it a requirement to practice swimming from the step to me a few times or if they know how to swim they have to swim to the diving board and back (or even race each other once), before they can play. I had a couple of criers and screamers but I just coaxed them and encouraged them to practice at least once around and THEN play time!! It got easier each time and they all learned to swim well and it didn't cost me a penny. =)

i wouldn't wait the chances of drowning are to real. i would change your approach. let her play in her bathing suit outside of the water. if she doesnt want it on then dont push it. once you accomplish her wanting to put it on cause she wants to then get a life jacket get her to a pool and let her play no swimming lessons. when she gets used to this then proceed on trying swimmng lessons again. she might be afraid of the water and this is a very real fear for some people. so ease her into it. if its next summer before she starts swimming lessons then fine.

Even though I believe learning to swim is so important, I think you should put it on hold for now. Believe me, I was put in lots of swim lessons when I was little. I hated it! I still can't swim. IMO, if you keep pushing it, she will hate it more and more and might even develop a fear of the water.

Good luck.

I would never put this life lesson off. Maybe just take her to the pool and let her play in the shallow/baby pool with her shorts on. If she will go further then put her suit on and just go slow.

One the second day of class no one should EVER dunk a child. This is exactly how children become scared of the water. .

Please keep pushing this issue.

She is almost 5 and she hits you? She is in that much of a 'panic'?
That is pretty serious, if she freaks out that bad!

I am sorry, I would not put it off until she was an adult....but some people do. I have met adults who can not swim, so it's not like it NEVER happens.

~I am sorry I couldn't be of more help, I can not imagine a scenario where my child behaves towards me like that, panicked or not. IMO, that is unacceptable behavior and should be dealt with first.

I would just leave her with the teacher. When Mom is around they turn into
monsters. Sorry she had a bad experience. If you have a pool at your
home, then it is imperative that you get her lessons. If you don't you might just give it up for now. Good luck. Aren't kids great LOL.

It's all about if they are ready or not to swim. My daughter, age three lessons, by age 7 was water safe, lessons every year, she loved it. My son, not so much.

My son is almost 8 and he did not take a swim lesson until last summer. I signed him up for lessons at age 3 just like his sister and it was a screaming bust. The next summer I tried semi-private lessons and it was a repeat of the year before. I event went back one more time for the semi private lessons, same results. The next summer I stopped trying, no lessons, but as it turned out he became very comfortable at that point with the shallow end. He was jumping in, kicking, having a good time. That year was the first year he could touch bottom of the shallow end and not have the water over his head, and I think that made a huge difference.

Last spring I told him "kids are going to have swim parties and you'll not be able to go in the deep end, which is where all the kids will be playing. And it's not safe for you to be at a pool if you cannot swim in the deep end." He grudgingly agreed. I signed him up for lessons last summer (at age 7) and he did them - he was the star student. He still would not do the deep end until the last weekend of summer when he finally did it with the encouragement of his sister and cousins - his cousin's pool is 4 ft at the shallowest so if he was going to have any fun, he had to get over it to even be in their pool. I am happy to report that he's never looked back.

Maybe your daughter isn't ready, and just needs more time. I know it stinks because you want them to be water safe as soon as possible. Hang in there.

I'd wait. "never again" isn't really a reasonable response.
My daughter was the same way at 5, 2 yrs later she taught herself how to swim in the neighbor's pool she now swims like a fish.

Just take her to pools and the beach and places to play in the water. Gradually let her guide you in showing her how to swim, hold her breath, etc. She'll probably be swimming this summer or next if you do it that way. My oldest started swimming really well at age 4 last summer. He had always been taken to the pool and would jump in, but he wasn't really swimming until last year. He still doesn't want to take lessons, so I'm waiting until he does for him to learn more formal technique and different strokes.

I was someone who was afraid of water for a long time. How about trying to teach her (or swim classes) when she is seven to nine years old. Just drop her off. She can put her own swim suit on by then. And maybe offer a special reward once she succeeds... Just a thought. Good luck. I defintly would not wait until adulthood.

i certainly wouldn't spend any more money on lessons. what we did with my son was just introduce him to the water naturally. when he was a baby we started taking him. so he never had a chance to really be "scared" of the water, it was just something we did. he loves it. it stinks that she had a bad experience. this is more than just letting her learn as an adult - if she has fears now, and doesn't confront and conquer them, she probably won't as an adult. maybe your family can go to the lake or ocean where the water starts out really shallow, and she can just play at her own pace. be patient with her and the rest of you have fun. maybe she will come around? or maybe reason with her, tell her you will hold her as long as she is nice and doesn't hurt you, but otherwise you will have to take her out. whatever convinces her to try it again. she just has to get over the fear. lots and lots of patience! good luck, i hope she gets over it. water is such a fun (and cheap) form of entertainment in the summertime...!

Wait a year or until she is comfortable in the water.Then maybe try again. Why in the world would someone surprise dunk a 4yo? That is awful!

does she have older or close in age nephews or nieces? someone to show her it's not scary? i feel bad for you and your daughter. if she's not ready now, keep asking and try to get her back in. i like the lake idea. good luck. oh, try books about swimming too. show her it's fun.