Any Advice from Mom's with Children with ADHD

I hope this sounds the way I intend it to...I think that the problem is not what would/does work best, but rather the lack of consistancy. It seems to me that until you can somehow convince his dad and new wife that the treatment is necessary for him, nothing will help. My niece has severe ADHD, and does OK but not great when with her father who has total lack of routine (he is getting better especially since meeting his fiance, she is great with his girls). When my niece is with either myself or my mother who work not so much on a time routine but on a dinner is after play-time, snack is after dinner, bed-time is after snack, etc she is a completely different child. She can cope with the day as an almost normal child without her meds. It is truely amazing.

I am sorry I don't really have much advice for you, but I hope this helps. Perhaps you could set up a conference time with his dad and the doctor so that he may understand that this is necessary for your son? Best of luck to you.

Below is a testimonial of parents who started their son on MonaVie.
~I have many other testimonials if you'd like to read them too~
www.mymonavie.com/quattrin

"Let me tell you how Monavie has touched my life. I am the father of 8 year old triplets B/G/G, one of whom has autism. My son was diagnosed with autism 6 years ago and I thought his life was over. We consulted with doctor after doctor, and even traveled around the state to try and find help for our son. After trying everything the doctors recommended, we did not see any change in our son's condition. We sought out the best therapist and tried to enroll him in a special program in our public school district. After numerous meeting with the school and therapists, we decided to pull him out of public school and home school him. This was a huge responsibility on my wife and was rewarding to see his academic achievement. But, the one thing he was lacking in was social interaction and awareness of others. Being home schooled put a huge deficit in an area he was already lacking in. So we decided to move to another county and try a new special education program to try and recapture the socialization deficiency our son had. During the first year back in public school, there was regression in the skills our son had already mastered. We opted to request for a one on one personal aide to help our son focus on academics and engage in more social settings with regular education students. This was very challenging due to his lack of communication skills. In the summer of 2006 my family was introduced to Monavie. With huge skepticism because of all that we have been through, I decided to try a bottle of Active Monavie without telling anyone. I started feeling great, had more mental focus, and was not nearly as tired as I was before. I decided to give my wife a bottle of Active and have her try it to see if it would help her bad hip and back. She had been in 2 car accidents over the last 4 years resulting in a broken hip and bad SI joints in her back causing large amounts of inflammation. She noticed a difference after 1 week. She started decreasing her medications and eventually stopped taking them all. After these huge successes, we started doing private research on Monavie. We found that it was helping all kinds of conditions and parents were having huge success treating ADHD. (For those who don't know ADHD is on the Autism spectrum) We decided to try our son on a bottle of Original Monavie to see what results we would see. We saw some improvements with speech and mental focus but not a huge amount. My wife decided to research Monavie Active to see what the different ingredients were and why our son did not see huge results on the Original. She found out that the Active contained essential fatty acids and glyconutrients. These ingredients were deficiencies in children with autism. Because of the autoimmune disorders most autistic children have, these were key nutrients that their bodies needed. Once we started our son on the Active he did a 360 degree turn around. He is now speaking full sentences and has much better mental clarity. We have received reports back from Speech and OT therapist that have asked what are we doing that has created an explosion of growth and communication in our child. Our son has is now being mainstreamed into regular education for Language Arts and Reading, five days a week. This is something we never thought he would be able to accomplish. By the end of the second nine weeks they want to mainstream for Math too!"

I would get doctors orders for the meds and take this to court. This is so wrong of his dad. G. W

Years ago my daughter had to self cath and the dad did not do it because he thought she did it. So the hospital sent a letter that it was best to only have mom and a sitter in her care. So for awhile he did not get visitation and her brother did not want to go alone so he did not get them. His new wife is going to give you hell so you need to have that back up with orders.

It is on doctors orders for the medicine, if they have
a copy and the medicine, they are endangering your son.
Take it to court. If they are unable to follow
doctors orders, then the court will say they are
not being responsible and may lose seeing him.
This will do a few things. Make them follow doctors
orders including discipling *address that to the dr
and get it in writing*, make the step mom upset at
how dare you think she can not do so *which is true
according to what you state*, or make them mad and they
don't follow doctors orders and lose seeing him till
they can prove they can.
If you have been keeping a journal of this, so much
the better, you will have a time line of what you
are going thru, how he is when he comes home, and
what they are not doing by his words.

I have a 5.5 year old son diagnosed with severe ADHD and Autistic tendencies and sensory integration. They are often intermingled as in our case. I have not found one true "cure"; however, he is getting better. I tell all of his caregivers that "the more he moves, the better he behaves." Lots of physical activity "brings down his engine." Good activities include jumping on a trampoline (large for outdoors or small for indoors), swinging, spinning in a desk chair, running, jumping, climbing, riding a bicycle, etc. When he is truly out of control I state that his engine is up and he should "bunny hop, crab walk, sprint down and back." These work great when you are in public and he is acting up. Another benefit is to have him chew gum; there are a lot of receptors in the mouth. He received a year of physical therapy for Sensory Processing Disorder through Excel Pediatric http://www.excelpediatric.com. A great book to read is The Out of Sync Child by Carol Kranowitz. Love and Logic is a great discipline book also. I started with Love and Logic for the Preschooler.

In addition to the activity, our son is medicated. He recently switched from Adderall XR to Vyvanse. Vyvanse is brand new on the market and is an 11 hour rather than 8 hour lasting medication. He is also on Risperdal two times per day. Immediately, we saw him focus on art projects, etc. that he had never done before.

I know that you mentioned trying several diets. Have you tried Dr. Feingold's program? It removes artificials and salicylates from the child's diet. We have found that salicylates are not our issue; however, the artificial colors, flavors, sweetners, and preservatives are. The program is well worth the cost associated and you will be amazed when you start reading labels closer. http://www.feingold.org

Lastly, I am just beginning treatment for both of us under the care of a family Psychologist. She will develop my parenting skills for our specific situation. We both met with her the first time and now I will go by myself the next few. I am anxious to receive some support from someone knowledgable on our matters.

Stay strong; you have received some good advice for how to address the lack of medication compliance on your ex husband's part; however, I once heard our therapist tell another parent that lack of structure, discipline, etc. on the part-time parent's part will not ruin the child. You are the primary care giver and your child learns mostly from you.

Let me know if I can ellaborate any further for you!
M.

Hey M.,
I think you have some great advice from other moms already. My son, now 11 has ADHD. He is unable to continue meds due to health issues however his doctor, an osteopathic physician has helped tremendously with balancing his system out. She is in hurst, her name is Dr. Block www.theblockcenter.com, check it out.

As far as her recommnedation, ensure my son received protein every three hours, organic milk and artificial sweetners (she'd rather have me given him sugar...however this needs to be taken out of the diet as well). As much organic as possible. I now buy all organic meat as well. He is on vitamins etc however its taylored to his body needs through her tests she has run. I must say magnesium plays a huge role in calming a person down.

Secondly, I hear your frustration, I deal with it everyday...it does not make for a happy mom. I started a process with my son to help achieve some consistancy. I first tell/ask him to do three things. Then I ask him to repeat the three things to me. Before I walk away, I ensure he has them down. I check in a few minutes later and ask how he is making out. I have him tell me what he has done and what he has left to do. Ensuring he still has the three items on his mind. I let him know the consequences if he does not finish them. I ask him what the consequences are...whatever his hot spot is. For my son its tv or writing sentences(no fun)Trust me, they don't forget the consequences. I give him reasonable amount of time and set a timer if needed. Just keep checking lovingly. Love, listening and caring go along way with ADHD. Help them walk through the simplist tasks to show them they can acheive things themselves. Patience does not even begin to tell the walk I'm enduring but like others say....its out of his control. Help him help himself. Keep perspective. Stay strong. I believe ADHD is a gift. My son is amazing, he just thinks differently, he learns differently and has an amazing gift to see the world as if he can do anything. I just read an article on the owner of Jet Blue...he has adhd, there are several books out which discuss his life with adhd. I am going to pick one up and get some perspective. Also, Ty Pennington from Extreme Homemakover has ADHD...there are others I just can't think of them right now...Good luck. Stay Strong. D.

I am in the same boat as you, but have finally found something that works and doesn't have near the side effects. The Datrana patch works great! You have to be patient and give it about a week before you see it's results. It is a once a day patch with a 9 hour working effect. Try it out!

Our 20 year old son was diagnosed with ADHD when he was 6. He was on medication for it from that point forward and all throughout his school years. At first, my husband and I were definitely against putting him on meds. We figured it was just his birth mom wanting to dope him up so she wouldn't have to deal with his behavioral issues. But after we did some research, we found that he really needed the medicine to function normally with the disorder. It's almost cruel to keep the meds away from a child with ADHD because they can't control the chemical functions going on in their brains and keeping them off meds is putting them at a tremendous disadvantage when having to deal with even day to day choices and activities.

In your divorce, who was given primary custody? Who has the right to make medical decisions regarding your son? If it's you, I would think that a judge could order your ex to administer his medication as prescribed by his physician. If you share custody and have equal say in his medical care, you might want to consider revisiting that issue with a judge so that there is no conflict on this treatment.

We could have made things very hard for my son's birth mom when he was first diagnosed by not going along with the treatment like your ex is, but in the end, we knew we were doing it for our son, not his birth mom. Hopefully you can convince your ex of the same without having to go to court to do it.

Good luck!

Hi M.! I'm sorry for what you and your son are going through. It's not an easy situation. My good friend, actually a M. too, just found out her son has autism. She did alot of research and I have too. Alot of times, ADHD, ADD, Autism, etc. are definitely enhanced by the chemicals in our home. They have had several studies and articles on how chemicals/toxins in our homes make the issues worse. I use products that are all natural. They are free of toxins and chemicals and are safer and healthier for your children and even pets. If you'd like to get more information, please feel free to give me a call or email me.

I wish you the best of luck in your situation and I hope that I'll be able to help.

Thank you,
T.
###-###-####
____@____.com

There has been some recent research indicating that there may be a correlation between having tonsilectomies and improvement of, or in some cases resolving, ADHD. You may want to discuss with your pediatrician.

My husband was diagnosed with ADHD as an adult and I have 2 neices with ADHD. As the previous poster said, they NEED their meds to help correct the chemical imabalance in the brain that is causing the ADHD. I wish there was a way they didn't need the meds, but that's just the reality. Just as a someone with diabetes needs insulin, the person with ADHD needs their medications. In the words of my mother who is a registered nurse and licensed psychiatric social worker "we are just a bag of chemicals". Meaning, our bodies and brains are just made of chemicals- which is true. Some people have all the chemicals they need to function properly and some of us need some assistance. I also agree with the poster who said it is cruel to withhold the medications. I can see in my husband and neices that they function so much better when they are taking their meds. They are more socially acceptable, confident, etc...why would someone want to prevent their child from that? Good luck.

I have worked with ADHD children for over 10 years. I would suggest highly that maybe a second opinion on the ADHD would be good. Second, if your having trouble with the ex's and it is confusing your child...When getting the second opinion, make sure they are present (even though I know that is a difficult thing to do) Your child has to have consistency from all parents. ADHD children are tough to raise (having one of my own). The medication has to be the right dosage if it is not then it will not help your child. Structure has to be in his life. The problems we see are usually one of the parents has ADD and therefore you will see the inconsistency from one or the other parent and you are right confusion for the child. I work with the Davisson Clinic ###-###-#### if you would like to discuss this more via phone just call and ask for V. H. (this is not a solicitation, I just hate to type) I work usually from 8-12 or 1:00 I'd be happy to talk to you and maybe come up with some solutions for you.