Anxiety of Leaving Son Behind

I am so sorry that you are going through this. Life has dealt you a hard hand here.

You need to get into counseling, the sooner the better. A lay "diagnosis" would suggest to me that you are suffering from depression and an anxiety disorder. Therapy could help you work through your feelings and your fear and truly be the mother that you want to be to your son.

You are not just going to "get over" this, and no person can come along and sweep you off your feet and magically fix it for you either. If you are living in a world guided by irrational thoughts and feelings, you need help getting back to a healthy place.

I wish you the best.

First off, I am sorry you lost your mother. I lost my Dad suddenly in 2009 so I understand how you are feeling.
You need to look for a local grief share class in your area. You can just Google Greif Share and your city name & state and you'll get a bunch of results. It really helped me & my mother deal with the pain of losing my Dad.
Please don't go out looking for a man to marry, you want to be able to find true love and if you are dating only to find someone to marry. You will only end up in divorce. You and that special someone will find each other. In the meantime, Take care of you and your son.
Time does heal your pain. The first year is so hard. It's been a year and a half since I lost my Dad. I still have really bad days from time to time but now I can think of him and laugh at all of the wonderful memories we had together.

Since you are close to your Father and siblings, please talk with them so that they can give you a fresh perspective.
We all will die in our own time, so we must switch the fear of dying with the thought of hope and dreams for the future, for us and for our children. Enjoy each moment, each day and plan happy events that keep you occupied, happy and glad that you have accomplished the peace and love you so deserve.
I also recently lost my Mother; and miss her everyday; but having a large family and group of friends has been a huge blessing. Support from your family and friends will be right at your door, just ask for it...
Blessings, S.

Being a young mother is hard on your emotions anyway, much less with losing your mother on top of that. We lost our healthy dad unexpectedly a little over a year ago and I think I cried every day for months. I still miss him badly but it has gotten much easier to handle just like everyone promised. I am the oldest of three siblings and was an only child until nearly 9 years old. I am 12 yrs. older than one sister and we are nearly best friends now. Don't worry about the years in between your son and the possibility of a brother or sister. We all know that the best thing we can do for our children is to have a good, happy home life. I miss our children every minute that we're apart, but I also recognize that it's good for me AND them to have that time away from each other. It also gives them time to form relationships with the person who is keeping them for those few hours and helps them to trust others and feel comfortable when we're not around. Start with the basics ... get a good night of rest, eat well and do what you think is best for both you and your son for that day. Maybe your dad, one of your brothers or a good friend that you would trust with your child would agree to be his guardian on your will.

The most normal thing in the world. Good for you being concerned for your son- you are the mom, and that is your job. Not irrational at all I think.
When my husband was killed I got alot of help- and if you send me a private message, I'll share that w/ you.
Meanwhile I think your concerns are normal.
best, k

OMG - DID I WRITE THIS????

First let me say, it is such a comfort to know that I'm not alone in my insanity. I have the EXACT SAME fears as you. The major difference being that I still have both my parents, thank God. But as your situation illustrates, we just never know...

Secondly, and MORE IMPORTANTLY, you poor child. My heart is aching for you right now. I wish I had something to share with you that could give you some comfort, but the only thing I can tell you is you are not alone in your fears. God bless you for loving your son as you do, and for realizing the preciousness of the gift you've been given through him.

I agree with jane, you're not ever going to just get over it. but you do need to find that peace in you so you CAN live life to the fullest for your son, instead of living in fear for him or yourself for that matter.

i can say that you are not the only mother with this fear it COULD happen as you already know. every mom fears the idea that they may pass before their children turn 18 or even 50 or 60...i think about that a lot myself, and it scares the hell out of me. However, i would suggest for you to quit living in fear and live to the FULLEST; that's the best thing you can do for you AND your son, especially if something god forbid does happen to you before he turns 18 he'll remember mom by fun loving hard working woman who loved him dearly and always knew how to have fun, not a mom who lived in paranoia and was always an emotional wreck.

good luck honey