Another Txt Question

Honestly, I think you are overreacting. If they are childhood friends and she only texts him asking how you BOTH are..that to me is respect. And if he is showing you all of the messages dont even worry about it. Until she text and says something questionable i wouldnt even worry about it. And if shes married and you havent met her yet, set up a double date when shes in town. You might actually become pretty good friends with her.

I see what you're saying, and understand the concept. My bf is a lot older then me and feels the same way...pick up the phone! I'm only 30 and have gotten to understand the convenience of texting and feel its better to text then call so that the person can respond at their convenience. I feel you are totally over reacting. Dont get an attitude over it and now act like you dont want to meet her. Its ok. Roll with it.

Who does that?

Friends, that's who!

I think you are overreacting! You say they are childhood friends...this woman is your hubby's sister's BFF, right? Hubby has known her for forever...but yet he chose you, not her...relax.

Not only are you over reacting but by speculating that you think that her own husband doesn't know she is texting your hubby you are also crossing into the being highly judgmental category...careful.

IMHO, what you need to be concerned with is why you are so threatened by this woman and the relationship they share....and whether or not this unnecessary drama is good for your marriage? Has your hubby ever given you reason to suspect that he has feelings for this woman, or any other woman, for that matter?

Big hugs for you!

Yes I think you are seriously over reaciting you even said they have been friends forever.. and he shows them all to you. Hell I text people more than call cause quite honestly It's faster and easier and everyone's lives these days are way too busy for phone calls for the most part. Has he ever given you a reason not to trust him, is there any justification for your distrust? those are things you need to look into cause looking for trouble where there isn't any never ends good.

I think you need to sit back and figure out why you are feeling so insecure. Cause I can promise you that it's not going to end well if you are going to think like that.

SO, are you saying you have ZERO male friends, that you have had since before you know your husband that you talk to? you cut contact with every guy you knew the moment you got married?

You're definately over reacting. If she were emailing him and not texting him you would probably be upset about that too. Texting is a "modern day" email/phone call. It's easier than calling because you don't have to stay on the phone with someone for an hour when all you want to say is "how are you? Hope you're doing well." You should meet her next time she's in town, make it a point. If you don't you're going to look like the crazy jealous wife.

I think your overreacting. What is the difference between her txting, e-mail, or calling when she has never met you. All of them are forms of communication with him. The fact that he's shown you that she's usually asking about how the family is doing shows that there is really nothing to be jealous of. I am very good friends with a few guys that I grew up with who are now married and I have never met their wives. I still talk to them though and their wives know about it and don't care. I even sent one of them a present for his soon to be daughter. I guess I just don't see where the reasoning for suspicion and anger in your post. Do you just not want him talking to women you haven't met in general? I don't know that is just my thoughts on it.

mmm. well since it's a friendship that precedes you, maybe that's just the kind of relationship they have. lots of people don't call and talk, but just want to say "hey how are you" without getting into a big long discussion. seems less personal than a phone call, to me. more quick and convenient. i wouldn't be thrilled about it. but i'm not sure i'd hate her over it - after all, she probably has no idea you have a problem with it. i'm sure he hasn't told her. i have this mental picture of you over on one side, fuming and getting seriously angry, and this girl on the other side, going about her business, probably in all reality having no inappropriate interest in your husband, and no clue there's a problem, and your husband is in middle.

i think a good solution would be to invite her, her husband, and your sil all over for dinner and get to know them. simple.

I don't really understand how an email would be fine but not a text. I tend to text people when I am in a hurry and can not really stop to talk. I would say that you should just take the time to meet her and after you two talk face to face then things will probably be fine and you can rest assured. He gladly offers to let you have a choice to replay or not and even read them. I don't understand.

I'm not a texter but I think you are way over reacting, IMO

Texting is the new e-mail meet her & get over it

If she calls, you dont know what she's saying. If she texts, you know exactly what she's saying. Sounds like she's deliberately NOT being sneaky, they are keeping everything up front and honest. I would not have a problem, my DH chats online with women from his High School.

A lot of people just DONT call anymore. It drives me nuts, but we had to enable texting on our phones so we could get my brother to contact us when his baby was born, he wont call people, only text.

how is your relationship with your dh? if it's edgy then yeah, i'd have a problem with it. i don't care for that myself, and don't care for women i know to text my dh instead of me (most do) but i trust him, I've voiced my opinion, but i also get texts from men from my past he hasn't met, i talk to them so it's kinda equal.

yeah it's weird and the respectful for the women to talk to women and vise verse....but this day and age, it just doesn't happen that way

I agree with the other posts, see about inviting everyone over for dinner and have an adult game night, you could have a good friend at your door step, you don't want to miss out on that possibility simply cause she didn't call you. You'll feel better about the whole thing if you suggest, be the bigger person, not the "judging wife"

good luck hope she will make just as good a friend to you as she is to him (marriages need friends like that)

go hug your dh

Maybe it's a generational thing, but I didn't know texting is sneaky whereas emails and calls are not! She's a childhood friend, married, your husband has never tried to hide the fact he communicates with her, and she's best friends with your SIL -I'm confused as to what the issue is and why you wouldn't want to meet her. I'm all for calls myself, but a lot of people really like to text as their main form of communication. I certainly don't see how a text is any "sneakier" than an email! You say you don't want to meet her and you're always "too busy doing something" when she's in town -and then you seem to blame her for texting her lifelong friend without meeting his wife first? If you're this jealous and suspicious all the time, you may want to examine that because it can wreak havoc on a marriage.

It sounds harmless really. She doesnt call because she doesnt feel like having a whole conversation. She sounds bored and just goes thru her address book and sends a text now and then. I think I would be more upset if she called actually. hubby shares the texts so I dont see the problem in it. I would make a point of meeting her the next time she's in town tho just so you can put a face with the texts.... and make sure she knows you are a happily married wife.

So many people text rather than call these days. I am not a big fan of
texting. Sounds like she is a friend and just genuinely is calling to say hi
and see how family is. I think you are overreacting. I have a wonderful
male friend. That is it, a friend. My husband does not mind at all. Actually
he likes him. I think next time she is in town you should meet her. Who
knows maybe you will hit it off and become good friends.

How frequent are these texts? Daily, weekly, monthly, hourly? If they are occassional than I think it is nothing more than staying in touch.

I think you are way overreacting. My friends and I text back and forth all of the time, its easier bc if you don't have time to anser right away you don't have to. My SO is a personal trainer and his clients text him all of the time about the schedule, to cancel or reschedule or even to ask him a question. Its not really a big deal.

I have kept in contact with some of mine and my brothers childhood friends. We usually communicate by email and basically ask the same type of questions. How is your mom? How are your brother and sister? Hows the weather in Denver, CO? Thanks for sending us some snow to Arkansas! Etc!!! He went to college to be a Meteorologist and was for a few years. He has a perfect voice for doing radio commercials and was moved to that field of work. He makes good money and is still single with 5 basset hounds. Most likely will never marry. My husband has never been jealous and I forward or show my husband every email we pass back and forth.

On the other hand, I also have an uncle who is always texting me about family matters and then turning them into sexual comments. I ignore most text from him and if I want to know how my Grandmother and everyone is in Louisiana, I call a different uncle or aunt to get the information. My Grandmother does not have a phone. I only communicate with him if I can't get a hold of anyone else and I cut the conversation when the sexual comments began.

My husband also keeps up with former coworkers from his department both male and female by email. He usually forwards to me the entire conversation by email. I know all of these coworkers and do not feel threatened at all by their communication.

It sounds as if you husband is not keeping it from you and is trying to make sure that you know exactly what conversations they are having. I would suggest that you make an effort to meet her along with your husband and just see for yourself if there is anything to worry about. I do not suggest interfering unless there is a reasonable cause.

Also, you must remember, that texting is quickly become the primary way of communication and calling people is quickly going out. Also, with texting you know what is being said in their conversations. With a phone call received when you are not with him leaves you with only what he wants you to know if he bothers to tell you.

Texting is no sneakier than an email is, and now-a-days texting IS emailing (Basically). I think you're overreacting. They are childhood friends, and by the sounds of it she's not asking him to come over for dinner to catch up... She's asking how him and his family are doing. Relax.