Another Potty Training Question! - Fort Lauderdale,FL

Updated on October 06, 2009
S.P. asks from Bonita Springs, FL
16 answers

Okay, so I have read all the past potty training questions on here, but I still can't figure out how to help my son! He is 2 and 8 months old, and has NO interest in going on the potty. We have used pullups, underwear (refuses them), sticker charts, prizes, praise, small potty chair, potty books/videos, and even being in the house with no clothes on, and he still won't use the potty. He has peed quite a few times on the toilet, and has even pooped twice, but has no intereste in doing it consistenly. Now he has gotten to the point where he cries and yells when we put him on the toilet! I have even tried going for a time with out doing anything, but that still hasn't worked. I did have a new baby 3 months ago, and I know that can make a child regress. But now that it has been a couple months i want to work on it again more wholeheartedly. I am wondering if I should put him on the toilet even when he doesn't want to, or if I should start putting him in underwear again and hope that the uncomfortableness of a mess will make him want to go, or should i just do nothing and wait for him to come around?

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V.A.

answers from Tallahassee on

Just wait for him to come around. Boys usually tend to take longer to train. I learned that the hard way with mine. I have 4 children and trained 2 girls by the time they were 2 then I had a boy and he had no interest in training and then just one day at 3 years and 2 months almost exactly it was like a light bulb came on and he started doing it. The peeing came first and I left him with just a long shirt on and nothing on the bottom for a whole week and (it was a messy week!) We got the poop down and he started doing both in the toilet. So just be patient. Numerous people told me that when I was going through that period that boys don't usually train completely until 3-5 years old. I now am waiting for my 2 year and 5 month old to start taking interest, (which he has none yet).
I hope this little bit of experience helps. Don't get frustrated. He'll come around.
Take care!
V.

2 moms found this helpful
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E.P.

answers from Orlando on

Wait until he's ready. Both my sons were ready when I stopped forcing the issue. They were 3 and 3 months and 3 and 6 months.

1 mom found this helpful

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J.G.

answers from Orlando on

I would say wait a while. If there is no reason for him to be trained at this age, then give him (and yourself) a break. I thought my #3 would be the easiest to train. He was, once I waited until he was ready. He may have even been past ready, but it was the right time for us both. He was almost 3.5 yrs old. Finally one day, it was either underwear or nothing and he chose nothing and was trained in one day. You have enough on your plate with a newborn.
Good luck.

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M.B.

answers from Melbourne on

My best advice is that he is too young. My son had no interest until he was 3 and was not fully potty trained until 3 1/2. Thankfully he did not go to daycare and we didn't have to worry about the pressure to be potty trained to move to the next class. I had a baby just after he turned 3 and I think it helped to show him he wasn't a "baby" anymore. Take your time, don't rush him and he will let you know when he is ready.

1 mom found this helpful
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T.U.

answers from Miami on

This probably won't help, but he'll just do it when he's ready. My oldest was almost trained except for poopy before he turned 3, then he regressed totally back to diapers and pullups, then he just started going all the time on the toilet like a month later. I did offer him presents after he used the toilet. I'd tell him 1 day he could have a piece of candy or some other sweet if he was good. And I'd also buy him a big prize like a new toy if he only used the toilet for so many days. So I guess my advice is bribery and patience. I did tell remind him constantly about the treat if he used the toilet. Good Luck!

So I just read all the other responses and I just have to say I know how you feel with 2 in diapers (my boys are just 2 1/2 years apart) and all I can say is think of something really special to bribe him with, I'm talking his favorite thing, and constantly remind him throughout the day that big boys who use the toilet get those special treats, not babies in diapers. Maybe even go to the dollar store and get him a balloon after he does use the toilet just to show him that he'll get that reward. Needless to say I'm a big believer in justified bribery. It works for us, and just to let you know my son is spoiled, but he never ever throws tantrums or acts spoiled. He gets his treats when he earns them.

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M.E.

answers from Boca Raton on

It sounds like he's not ready. Just give him a couple months more with no pressure and no talk about going on the potty, and I bet the next time you try it's going to be easy.

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A.L.

answers from Naples on

My oldest son had no interest in using the toilet. I even bought the little potty AND little toilet seat to put on the big toilet seat. Money wasted. When he was almost 3 and a half I finally just put him in underwear. He did so so (still pooped in undies) then quit on me. I discovered it was b/c he didn't want to stop what he was doing to go use the potty. A few weeks after that I put him in underwear again and he was all set. Didn't even need pull-ups at night! The point to all this is be patient. Every kiddo potty trains at their own pace. Even while he's in pull ups, ask if he wants to pee on the potty and try putting the poop in the toilet and having him flush it (if his poop, sorry to be gross, allows for that). That's what I did and I really think it reinforced the whole potty concept for both my kids. Keep us posted and good luck!

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K.G.

answers from Miami on

wait until he is ready; it will be a lot easier for both of you!

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R.H.

answers from Tampa on

It sounds like your son is not ready for potty training. I would stop trying (it's making it a negative experience for him), try to forget about training for now, and try again when he turns 3 years old. Forcing potty training when a child is not ready will not work. It only makes it a negative experience for him, and therefore, him not wanting to learn to use the potty.

Good luck!

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C.T.

answers from Gainesville on

Hi S.

You probabaly read a few of my questions about this and my son . He Just Got used to going potty a few moths ago at 4 and a half. When his preschool started , He seemes to have a Fear of bathrooms He will go at home, school , and his gradparents houses but thats pretty much it , anyway . It was hard casue I knew he was smart enough to get it but was just against it . So what my advise is sooneror later it will happen . just keep trying Pull-ups were great got him ready for underware . when he realized how much mor confortable underware was it was like magic . So anyway as I was told. They do it when they are ready . And you don't see any men in diapers ..LOL Well good luck . I am with you .
Christy

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S.D.

answers from Sarasota on

You can't pressure kids to eat or pea/poop. You are going to have to let him decide when he is ready. 3 months is no time to adjust to not being number 1. My girls are 16 months apart and I thought I'd get the oldest potty trained before the other was born. No way she regressed and refused. I thought I tried everything and kept asking her if she had to go. One friday her teacher said to bring in panties when you are ready to start using the potty, but you will have to tell me that you have to go. So she went home and decided she was going to go potty and did it on her own. The second child changes everything and I know it feels like a long time but 3 months is not much. They will learn to potty but not under "our" timetable. You've got to let him decide and when he does, make a potty dance song and praise praise. Tell your family too make a big deal out of what a big boy he is. And honestly you know its not fair to make him keep a mess in his pants, he's only 2 not 4.

V.W.

answers from Jacksonville on

I agree, you should just give it a rest for a bit longer. He is adjusting to a baby in the house and isn't interested in the potty. He has total control, no matter what you do, so if you force it at this point, you are just in for a control battle. Not really worth it.

Give him a break from the pressure, let him adjust to the new baby, and then in another month or so offer him some incentives if he wants to give it a try.

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J.G.

answers from Orlando on

I would just wait. When he's ready, he's ready. He'll probably fight you more and more if you keep pushing the issue. My first daughter would go occasionally on the potty after her second birthday, and definitely knew when she had to go, but I waited until one day she told me she wanted to wear underwear before we actually started potty-training. It was less than 2 months before her 3rd birthday, and she was trained in about 5 days. My second daughter will be 3 in March, and has shown no sign of wanting to potty-train, so I'm waiting until she's interested. (As nice as it would be to have one less in diapers....I also have a 17-month-old and another one due in December!)

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R.C.

answers from Sarasota on

I would leave him alone for a while and then start over. When they are truly ready it will go fast without the struggle. My daughter started once, lost interest and then did it for real (with mistakes :-) )four months later. You don't want him to be miserable about it!

Good luck!

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S.S.

answers from Miami on

Stop working on it......he is still young. Average age these days for boys is over 3. I work with kids this age and none of them are trained yet. If he shows signs, then great go with it, if not, leave it alone. When he is ready, willing and able it will happen in one day instead of "working" on it for a year.

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J.A.

answers from Jacksonville on

The harder you push, the longer it will take. Yes a new baby is disruptive and could be a contributing factor. Also, many boys do not potty train until the age of 3. I would just stop trying for a couple of weeks, not a peep about it. Start reinforcing "big boy" behavior in other areas. (When he puts a toy away make a big deal about him being a big boy, etc...) And make a big deal about him being a big brother now. In a couple or three weeks, when he is gung ho about his big boy/big brother role, ask him if he is ready to be a big boy in the bathroom. If he says yes or only has a small hesitation, proceed, if he adamantly says no wait another week or so to bring it up again. When he wants to do it to become a real big boy, and also to please you, it will be easy.

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