Another Baby? - Jefferson City,MO

Someone else already posted about the health risks of having babies too close together, so I'll just throw in my 2 cents on the emotional aspect. My (only) little one (so far) is right at a year, and between 3 and 5 months, my husband and I both wanted another and thought about trying, even though we knew it wasn't optimum (healthwise). And then, I thought about how I would have less one-on-one with my tiny sweetheart and decided to enjoy the time with her before working on a sister or brother! But we do still want to try to keep them pretty close together. I just wanted to say that maybe it's something that happens around that time and that for me, it let up a lot around 6 months. [also, my little pea has always been a very easy, happy, awesome baby, too... but she has gotten needier in a lot of ways as she has gotten older, and even though i was lucky and pregnancy was great for me the first time around, i am really thankful i'm not preggo right now with her going everywhere all the time and getting into everything!!]

good luck!

I haven't gave birth this close. I did have my first 2 at 2 years and 4 months apart and my 2nd and 3rd at 3 years 4 months. Those were both very good spacings. If you tried now and got pregnant right away the baby would be a young toddler and definitely not even 2. On one hand they would be best buds. On the other hand it would be 2 in diapers and you would be thinking of potty training at a time when you are still sleep deprived. I think a few months longer would be nice.

Too soon.

It takes the body, 1 year post-birth, to fully recover.
And really, would you really want to have 2 babies, at the same time?
Your baby now is only 5 months old.

My kids are 4 years apart. Just so happens and it is great. And my kids are VERY close and 2 peas in a pod and adore each other.

Please give your body a chance to recover before trying again. Research has shown that conceiving prior to 18 months from your last delivery is really not optimal. Conceptions under 18 months or over 5 years from last delivery are at much higher risk for preterm labor, preterm birth, low birth weight and pregnancy complications such as preeclampsia (high blood pressure) and even pregnancy loss. Recent studies even link close spacing of children with autism: http://www.ktla.com/news/landing/ktla-autism-risk-birth-s....
It sounds like you have a very mild mannered child and I'm so happy for you. However, truth is that all babies are different and some are surprisingly difficult. Please just enjoy this wonderful first year with your baby and delay that next pregnancy. You don't want to miss out on anything with him while tired and pregnant again. Your baby needs your full attention for the next couple years when so much is happening with his development. Your husband is right. It is too soon. My neighbor got pregnant intentionally 6 months after having her first ( a very easy going, great sleeper) and she regretted it. She spent 12 weeks on bedrest for preterm labor and then had a very difficult delivery. The second child was very needy so it was very tough. Your feelings are normal, but please don't let emotions override reason when planning another child.
Nurse Midwife Mom of 3 (a planned 3 yr space followed by a "surprise" 20 month space)

I can definitely understand being disappointed at a negative pregnancy test when you thought you might be pregnant. But I'd give your body some time to heal and not be in too big of a rush. It will happen. :)

Mama Nature has designed baby cravings into women for the purpose of making us willing to endure the discomforts, dangers and inconveniences of raising little ones, and they can (and often do) occur at just about any time throughout the rest of your adult life. That doesn't mean those desires are necessary to act upon, however, any more than we can indulge in a thousand different things every time they sound appealing. You'll do yourself, your husband, and your first child and future child a huge favor to think this through carefully.

There's a lot to consider. Does your body feel back to normal? Are you breastfeeding? Do you want to divide your energy and attention between two very young children? Have two in diapers at once? Do you think it would be a good idea to find out what toddlerhood, and your first child's development, is like before you go for number two? Your five-month-old will experience many changes in the coming year or two.

And most importantly, it sounds like your husband has some worries. He's half of the decision-making (and ideally, care-taking) team, so don't discount his contribution to this decision. Bringing another human being into the world is the single highest-impact choice anybody can make, and simply should not be made on the basis of 'wanting to be pregnant now that you've discovered you're not.'

I know lots of friends and people with children 13-15 mo apart in age. they make it through...lol my friends are 15 mo apart and they get along so, so well. I don't think I could handle them that close in age. At least my blood since they all tend to be very needy until 2 years of age. I knew i wanted mine to be two years apart so we didn't even start trying till our daughter was 13 mo old. Glad we did cause it only took one try...lol I would give it more time but many, many families do just fine close. But you need to agree with your hubby!!

I did that too. I wonder if it's a common time after having a baby to want another one. I would suggest waiting a little longer, though. You want time to be able to focus 100% on that baby (at least I do!). Here's the spacing with my kids:

- Baby #1 to #2 is 4 years (way further apart than I ever wanted!)
- Baby #2 to #3 is 19 months (got prego when #2 was around 10 months)
- Baby #3 to #4 is 22 months - this was a good spacing.
- Baby #4 to #5 is 15 months - this has been too close for me

I got prego with #5 (surprise!) when baby #4 was only six months old. I get really bad morning sickness, so I had about 10 weeks of that while trying to take care of a baby and three other little ones. The baby was the especially difficult one because she was at a very demanding age, and I was barely functioning with the morning sickness. It was nightmarish to be honest.

I was nursing her and my milk dried up due to the pregnancy. Something I wasn't happy about. When babies reach around 7 month (can vary per child) they start sleeping much differently - more difficult. I find babies from birth to 7 months to be quite easy compared to how challenging they get later on...so keep that in mind. Your baby will likely get a lot more challenging and time consuming. If you get morning sickness, it is a challenge to deal with both things at once.

I *am* excited for baby #5, who is due in about 8 weeks, but I stress over how my current baby will do. A good spacing for me is 18-22 months spacing. That gives me enough time to give the baby lots of snuggle, nursing, and carrying time. Once I get very far along in pregnancy, it's very difficult to carry my kids. Right now it's very difficult for me to carry my 13 month old. Makes me sad.

Anyway, so those are my thoughts! From my experience, getting pregnant at 5-6 months post baby is more difficult than it needs to be...hehe. And, while current baby will survive, for me, it feels too soon. Waiting a little longer to be able to give baby full focus is ideal to me.

Then again, if you don't get very bad morning sickness that would make a HUGE difference. It would be much easier. The morning sickness almost did me in...hehe. But if you don't get that very bad, then you'd be able to keep your focus like you want.

Hope that helps!

ADDED: I feel like I am coming across too negatively (hubby was talking to me almost the whole time I was trying to type this...hehe). While I don't think it's ideal to have them super close, I do love it. They keep you on your toes. And, I know it'll be a lot easier to chase after the kids once I'm not waddling like a duck and can have my body back;-) But I totally agree with the poster above that little ones are awesome and I absolutely love it. Regardless of the spacing of my kids, they are all very close and love each other a ton. You should do what both you and your hubby want:-)

Mine is 15 months and I still don't feel ready. But that's just M.. Yes there have been lot of times I wished for one more...I look at other newborns and go aww! but I know it's not time for M. yet. I want to enjoy my first born for some more time. Beleive M. they grow up so fast! 5 months is very early ... maybe you could wait until he is a year old. If you ask M. , if I get pregnant now I think I can manage. I know my baby's personality now. He is still little but I know he is getting independent and I understand his temperament. At 5 months I was clueless how he would turn out as he grew older. I look back now and remember he was a very happy baby as well. But that doesn't mean e doesn't throw tantrums now ;) Taking care of my son takes up my whole day. Once they start eating solids you need to plan meals, feed them. Once they start walking you need to run behind them. They start demanding your attention a lot. Sometimes when he is sick , my son wants nothing to do with dad, just wants M.. You need to think if you can handle all that while you are pregnant with another one. I personally feel if you want to have them close together, wait atleast until first one is walking well, able to eat well on their own. Just my 2 cents but it's up to you!

I have 3 kids and they are roughly 2 years apart.
They are 7, 5 & 3 now and I believe this was perfect spacing for me!

Follow your gut.

I will speak from experience here, I have 5 kids ~ There is 18 months between the first and second, 18 months between the second and third...between my third and fourth is 4 years, then there is 3 years between my last 2. I had many comments when my kids were small, and although none of them were planned I wouldn't change anything!

And for you mom's thinking she's crazy ~ when I got pregnant the last time the doctor informed me that birth control pills were not an option for me because of the medication I take for my epilepsy...ummm, yeah that would have been nice to know a few kids ago!

Anyways, back to how I feel ~ it was very difficult having kids that close together, however you can do it if that is what you want! I do think 5 months is way too close!! But that is what I think! You will hear all kinds of things from others, but ultimately the decision is yours and your husbands!! Make sure he is okay with a another baby right now, there is nothing worse then having marital problems because of something that should be a happy occasion!!

Oh and just a side note, my kids are all grown now ~ they are 33, 31, 30, 26 and 23 ~ It can be done, just a lot of work! Now I am enjoying my grandkids;)

I know a lot of people with children this close, but if you're not already pregnant, I would wait until your baby is one. Your body does need a year to recover. Some bodies can handle it sooner and some can't. Also, since this is your first, wait until baby is fully mobile and a lot more of a handful than most 5 month olds are. My kids are 2.5 years apart, and it was still really hard! Good luck with whatever happens, but no harm in waiting a little longer!

I had my first in may of 2006. Got Pregnant again in july of 2006.(No it was a planned pregnacy) but I did lost that baby 7 weeks into my pregnacy. It was beyond sad at that time. I felt like it was my fault. So at the end of August was the time I lost the baby. So again we wasn't trying and found out in November of that same year(2006) I was pregnant again. I was sooo scared it was going to be a repeat. But lucky everything turned out well and we had a another healthy baby girl born in July of 2007. So my 2 girls are 14 months apart.After her we was more careful and I was on birthcontrol. After she made 1 in July of 08 we thought about another baby. So again the day before halloween we found out we was expecting again. We had another healthy baby,a boy. I really was thinking about having another one close again but after his birth,my doctor told me to wait at least 3 years before we planned anymore. The reason is why because I had 3-sections and was cut on the same spot,and he told me I can have one more. and I guess I wasn't going to be able to hold up to many pregnacies. But its ok. I'm blessed with 3 beautiful kids but we are soon going to start once again to have our last baby.But I do LOVE all my kids being so close. They all get along beside the fighting as siblings do,and is really close with each other.Just talk with your husband and see what he wants to do. Some dr. will tell you exactly how long to wait to start trying for another one. Depends if you had a c-section or vaginally. Best Luck!

I have 3 sons. my oldest is 2 1/2 and the twins are 8 months old. we started trying when my oldest was 6 months old. i really thought it would happen right away because we got pregnant on the first try with our toddler. i wanted to be pregnant asap after my oldest because i had such a great pregnancy and hubby and i knew we wanted our kids close in age. our toddler was 20 months old when i had the twins, and so far they are all the best of friends. we have decided we are done, due to finances and some medical conditions our sons have...so i had a tubal and hubs had a vasectomy....but i would so love to have 1 or 2 more, even though i know i would probably go nuts..LOL... i just really want a little girl...i secretly hope that miracle or miracles i get pregnant, i know that there is like0.000000000001% chance of it happening, but hey, a girl can hope right??? you should tells your hubby that it is never a great time to have kids and that if we all waited until we were financially stable then we would pretty much never have kids...LOL, good luck and i hope you get preggers soon if that is what you want!!!!!!!!!

You did not mention whether or not you are nursing. If you are, the optimal time for nursing and the age when babies generally wean themselves is between 18 months and 2 years. As mentioned in another post, this is also the optimal time for the mother's body to have restored itself and is best prepared to nurture and birth a new baby. Keep in mind that your body gives nutritional priority to the child. Having babies too close together can damage and/or deplete your body in a variety of ways.

If you become pregnant while nursing, your body will have to choose which child will receive the priority, and your body will come in third, or fourth in the case of twins. What tends to happen is that the mother's milk becomes bitter and the first baby will wean itself prematurely.

My sister was not nursing and became pregnant when her first child was still 1 month old, so her boys are 10 months apart. Her muscles had not had a chance to re-tone. At her first sign of labor they rushed her to the hospital. She could not even walk into the hospital and needed a wheel chair. They rushed her into labor while her husband filled out and signed one form. He stepped into the elevator so he could be there for the birth and instead met a nursery nurse who introduced him to his son already in the baby caddy on his way to be weighed and measured!

This may sound appealing to anyone who has labored for multiple hours, but it really is proof that her body and her muscles were severely stressed. Luckily, my sister was a remarkably strong and healthy and young woman when this happened. But it still aged her terribly.

Hope this information helps you make the decision that is best for you and your dear family.

My son is 15 mo. old. Some days I think i want another one, and other days I think oh no, I am not ready for another one...these mixed emotions tell me clearly that I am not ready...we definitely want to have another baby, but we are so enjoying this precious time (alone) with our son that we will never get back (advantage of being the first born). Just recently I have really thought about this and think I want to start trying when he is 3...if I get pregnant right away (like I did with our son)...that will put them 4 yrs. apart, just as my older brother and I are...good luck!

You must be getting lots of sleep!!!
My kids woke up several times a night throughout the first year, I was a zombie, I literally can not imagine being pregnant with an infant in the house.
So, yes, I guess if you are sleeping and feeling good I can imagine wanting another.
But you may want to give it a few months before trying, you have no idea what your current child will be like as a toddler :)

You must have one AWESOME 5 month old! We didn't even consider until ours was 2.. I agree that you should wait till the little one is at least 18 months. Just the thought of being pregnant with a 5 month old is terrifying!

My first two are 19 months apart. Then 5 1/2 years, then 2 1/2 years and 6 1/2 years. I always wanted another one until I hit 40. =) BUT we pulled an April fools prank on FB (well my hubby did, not me) and we had some people play along (they knew we were fooling) that we were preggo with twins. Some people actually believed it even thought it was April 1st and everyone had apparently found out they were prego..>LOL Well, at the end of the day when we admitted we really weren't, I felt bummed... I was shocked at how sad I felt. I'll never do that again. LOL

My first two are 20 months apart; so I got pregnant with my second when my first daughter was 11 months old. They are the BEST of friends. Granted, they're only 3.5 and 5....but still :) My third daughter is 2.5 years younger than my second one.

I liked getting all the baby stuff out of the way. Yes, I was changing the diapers of 2 children, but I was *already* changing diapers, so what's one more?

After my first was born, I was ready for another by the time she was 6 months old - and she was a "challenging" baby (meaning, she screamed her head off for 7 months straight! lol) but I knew I wanted more.

Give yourself a few more months to fully recover from your last pregnancy before you start for #2 and enjoy your son while he's your only. Life gets really hectic really fast once you have two little ones to run around after! lol

Do what's right for you. My first two are 12 mos. apart. Then the last 2 are 18 mos. apart. I had 4 kids in under 5 years and I'm perfectly normal and so are they. My body is in fine shape as that has more to do with genetics and diet/exercise than it does pregnancy.The woman below that is adamant that it's "too soon" clearly couldn't handle life with multiple "babies". I found it natural and the chaos has been worth it! I love my life and my kids are sooooo close - the best of friends. In the end if it makes sense to have another one now - do it. If not, wait until the time is right. You'll know.

Lots of people like closer spacing but mine are just under 3 years apart and I wouldn't have wanted them closer. I have also heard it is better to give your body a year between babies to heal (not sure if it is just for c-sections). I found the 12-24 month year harder then much of the first year. Chasing a toddler when you are tired and pregnant isn't much fun. I had a rough pregnancy the second time and it was a struggle (I had a 2 year old at the time). It also depends a lot on the personality of your older one. My older one is a handful at best, very demanding.