D.T.
I would kindly accept the gifts and then either exchange them or take the batteries out. Many of those annoying electronic toys are actually good toys once you get rid of the electronic part.
Christmas is coming up along with my son’s first birthday. As someone who has worked in child care for many years I much prefer traditional toys with NO BATTERIES. It’s just my personal preference that I don’t like those plastic electronic toys with flashing lights and voices. There are so many of them out there that I’m afraid that’s all my son will get as gifts.
I’ve actually just returned from a friends party and her 1 year old twins received mostly annoying electronic gifts.
Should I tell my friends and family my opinion? Some of them have their own children and buy lots of these toys for them. If I tell them why I don’t like them, would they automatically assume that I’m questioning their choice of toys for their own children?
I would kindly accept the gifts and then either exchange them or take the batteries out. Many of those annoying electronic toys are actually good toys once you get rid of the electronic part.
Hi. Instead of telling people what kinds of toys you don't like I would rephrase it. I would say something like hey if you are looking for any ideas, my son is soooo into legos right now or maybe, he could really use a good winter coat right now. That way you aren't being rude. You will probably still get some annoying toys but let's face it, kids do love them.
I totally agree about the annoying electronic toys. I hate them! I also worry (this is just my own crazy neurosis) that all these electronic toys and TV cause ADHD. I have actually considered putting "No gifts please" on my child's invites as I would rather get nothing at all than toys I don't approve of. When we do get these toys, I allow that children to play with them for a few days, and then they mysteriously find their way to the Goodwill bags. We also have an issue with getting DVDs as we seriously limit our children's screen time. I don't tell people my opinion unsolicited, but if anyone ever asks what my kids want, I always tell them that we love books and CDs (music).
If someone asks for a suggestion then give a few suggestions that you like. You can say, if they ask, that you feel eletronic toys overstimulate your child and any parent would appreciate that. If they don't ask than remember it is a gift. The idea of gifts is the thoughtfulness of others on a special day. Appreciate whatever is given.
I totally agree with how you feel. My kids loved the toys they controlled and could make them anything they wanted. I think the eletronic takes creativity away from kids and teaches them loud is fun.
J.
I feel your pain. I get that all the electronic toys are over-stimulating and really not that educational. I recently began buying my daughter wooden toys and non-battery operated toys in an effort to go green and stop buying plastic toys made in China. I was so frustrated at my daughters birthday when most of her gifts were cheap plastic toys that are now sitting around my house staring at me. She got a $20 plastic bubble mower that never worked a singing baby doll that is now in the back of the closet and a pop up book...for a one year old, that was tore apart immediately. So here is what I found. I feel this way and I know I feel this way but no one else does. My mother and sister always ask what we want for her and they are aware of our eco-friendliness. My close friends also. For our extended family I asked them to donate to our families favorite charity in our daughters name. I would rather know they spent their money there than receive junk. At Christmas for those, in-laws, friends, neighbors that are unaware of our plight I do make a wish list, at toys r us or another store, and add it to invitations/cards saying "Here are some ideas of toys for X and/or some things she is into/needs." Hopefully, people don't take offense to it and understand that they do not have to stick to the list...but that would be ideal. Tell your friends and family, maybe make it about the eco-friendly aspect that may be easier for them to understand. If they judge or take it wrong, say that this is what you have chosen for yourself/family and it's not for everyone and throw in that your daughter actually prefers blocks and spatulas to motorized driven toys. Tell them you do not want to support the Chinese toy economy and that Melissa & Doug is an american company. Or don't tell them anything, you don't have to defend your position. In leu of gifts do something creative. Take all the kids and parents to a local park to clean up trash (Safely) then have a picnic. Volunteer, do a scavenger hunt, take all for a hike, ect...
OAN,,, when my daughter and I go to a birthday party I make sure that I do not buy the recipient junk. Wooden blocks, toy sorters, ect... Age appropriate gifts. I hope that the parents take notice. I make sure to call and ask what the child is into and try to get an eco-friendly alternative and if none the less just get what they parent has said they are into. Then all is happy and you hope they will catch on and do the same.
I am with on these toys. I purchased many of these for my girls only for them to be disinterested in them with the 1st day of playing with them. I ended up donating them to their pre-schools and day care.
I always give our family members a list of toys that the children would like to have. It is a list that is what they are into, goes with other toys they already have or can go in addition to something we are buying them. If there is something you don't want your children to have, list it too. And if someone gives your children a gift you don't approve of, teach your children to be gracious gift receivers and take it to the store and have them exchange it for something you do approve of.
S.
You could always go to Target.com or Walmart.com (maybe even Toysrus.com?) and make a wish list for your baby. That way you can pick what you like and what you think baby would like. Just make sure you tell everyone, or put it on the invitations, that his wish list is available at whatever store(s). That should narrow down your "return" pile! LOL And that way, maybe you wouldn't necessarily have to explain anything.
Good luck and happy birthday to baby boy!!
It's also OK to tactfully hint that no present is necessary - something like "Your presence at the part is the best 'present.'"
At almost every birthday party I've attended, they wait until after the party to open presents. That's another excellent way to give you time to make a judgement on whether to keep it before your kid tears it open. (Or maybe you already have an identical or nearly identical toy.
If you aren't too shameless (and your child is young enough), you can even sneak a peek at the present during their naptime and pull out anything that crosses the line. Don't feel too guilty about this, especially with a very young child, because if someone has given your child a gift that is going to drive YOU crazy with loud annoying sounds, and make you less patient - it's not doing your kid any favors. It's better for them to have a mom that's not frazzled by sirens. (Even Mozart and Beethoven can be amazingly irritating if they use those cheap, tinny speakers.)
Just make sure to sound sincerely grateful in the thank you note.
And sometimes the toys are too loud for the children, too. Hold one of those noise-making toys as close to your ear as your toddler is holding it and realize that they have sharper hearing than us. (At least they should if they haven't already had their ears bombarded.)
If you ever chat over playdates or get togethers, maybe you can bring up the subject of toys offhandedly, perhaps another mom you know received a noise-making toy that has nearly sent her over the edge.
I would tell them. I always tell people I don't want something that has a 1000 pieces because I always have to clean it up. I also have a young child that could eat all the pieces.
I would just say (Blank type toys) are what he/she is into right now. Name off something different to each person and let that be it. If you get a flashing one then be polite and thank them....then do what you want with it.
I agree with your preferences. You don't have to say you "don't like" electronic gizmos. But I think it's perfectly acceptable to express enthusiasm for the kinds of toys you do like, and the reasons you find them attractive.
You might even name a couple of sources for such toys, or show a catalog to family members, during these conversations. You could be great for business for makers of quality natural toys. Those are choices that may not spring to mind for gift-givers.
If your son gets battery-run toys too, do be gracious. You might keep such toys on a special shelf for occasional guided play. That can have value to a child, too.
Amen, sister. One or two is fine, but the stimulation and heck, the lead, on that all yellow plastic is enough to drive a kid and their parents crazy.
Something like, "Hey, I would really love it if you would like to get him something, to get him [list a wooden train set you prefer], or a website you really like". Make it easy on them and don't say "I don't want these things" just say what you do want.
Also, he is one, just don't take the stuff out of the boxes if you can help it and return what you can and use it for something else. Enjoy that birthday,J
I'll just say ditto to several things you've seen already. I also dislike electronic toys--too much noise and stimulation, kids lose interest in them quickly, they break too easily, batteries cost too much (and wear out quickly), ... It is true that kids can use them without the batteries, as long as they're a plane or such, so they can still be creative. Personally, I almost always buy books as gifts for my kids' friends--they always look pretty small compared to the big box packaging of toys, however they reflect what I consider important for kids to do and they last for years. My kids or the child's parent can help me figure out what will appeal. My son did get annoyed with my insistence of buying books in the late preschool years when he felt his friends would want a toy, but he's fine with it now.
As for what you do... I remember that when our son's friend was 2 and I asked the parent what she would like for a birthday gift, he said 'anything that doesn't make noise. The noise gets to be too much for us.' Obviously, I was fine with that!
Good luck!
By all means tell them that you would prefer not to recieve gifts with batteries. I have done the same with my family, and no one seems to mind. In fact, it just gives them the chance to be more creative.
Hi, H.,
I would just say very nicely, "If you need some suggestions for ___ for Christmas, he would love ____." I've done that and have actually said I'd prefer not to get toys with batteries, as well. I know my family loves being told exactly what to buy so that shopping is easy! You don't have to go into your reasons, but if asked you can explain the hassle with constantly buying new batteries. You don't have to belabor the point. You can also explain, instead, why your son would enjoy books, clothes, puzzles, blocks, etc. better.
I wouldn't think anybody should think you are judging him/her unless you actually are! Your son is your child, and you should be able to control the kinds of toys he receives.
Hi,
! feel the same way about these toys! If they are over stimulating to me, what do they do to a 1-2 year old! Geez!
When people would ask me what to get my son I would often say that a gift was not necessary and if they insisted I would say whatever you want...and then jokingly add as long as it does not make noise! I would laugh and say I was kind of kidding but that the noise stressed me out! I would put the blame on myself and it really worked...i do not think we received many noisy toys. I know this is an issue as I once mentioned to an ex-friend that the toys must drive her nuts and she became sensitive...i mean she had 5 different toys going and her daughter was sitting there in a daze just staring and drooling. This is also a parent that schedules her kids up the ying-yang! Therefore ex-friend as our styles clashed!
Good luck and you can always give them away!