OK, so the mister & I have been arguing a lot lately. I have gone back & forth with this relationship for quite some time as some of you already know. Today we got in a doozy of a fight (but the reason behind it will need to be a totally other post entirely), neither of us backing down, both absolutely positive we are the ones in the right. He just stopped by my office a few minutes ago & it was...tense to say the least.
I get done work in about 20 minutes, he finishes up an hour & a half after me. I am not looking forward to spending the evening together tonight. I can guarantee it will either be to fight some more or just be totally tense & not really speaking to each other unless absolutely necessary. If the kids weren't going to be home we would just go to different parts of the house & do our own thing until we're ready to address the issue once & for all, but that's not really an option tonight.
Suggestions on how to get through it in the least miserable way possible...?
Make a list of all the nice things he's said or done lately, fold it up and then read it to him before you say anything else.
We usually cool off and then end up apologizing to each other. Marriage is a lot of work and a lot ofcompromising. However, in the end worth it.
Happily married 36 1/2 year.
schedule the unpleasantness for a time that works well for the whole family. Tonight, go home and be pleasant for your own sake, and for the sake of the kids with the confidence that you can and will address things at the appointed, agreed to time.
Ummmm you both need to work it out. Like you my DH and I have been arguing quite a bit...August and most of September have been tough...However, we've made some headway. You need to set aside time when kids are not around to resolve...It gets to the point that regardless of whose right..you are adults and need to work it out. You have children and a home. I would address it sooner rather than later. If you don't want to tonight fine...But you both must keep the peace and be rational until that conversation can take place.
If you have a daughter or daughters declare this girls night out and do something with them leaving the males at home or they can have boys night out. That way it looks normal to the kids but you don't have to interact with each other because kids always pick up on when their parents are fighting. It is like they have radar or something.
I think your issues are beyond being "angry & grumpy" for a day. When you are asking for tips on how to tolerate your SO while at home with your family, instead of dealing with your issues, that's a problem. Your kids will know you're fighting, whether or not your are actually arguing in front of them. They will sense the tension. You guys need to figure out how to work as a team & not be so concerned with who "wins", who's right, or who's screwed up more. Sounds like it's time to get back to basics. If you need some 3rd party help, then so be it.
I like P.S.'s suggestion a lot. Start out letting him know you love him and that should ease the tension on both your parts.
Ok, I KNOW I will get some flack for this.... You refer to it as a 'relationship', not a marriage (not that it really matters). And you claim this has gone on for some time. So........ why are ya'll together??? Don't try to make this work 'for the kids' because believe me, they are well aware of what's going on and more harm is being caused than you know by the bickering between ya'll.
Get some counseling or make the changes to make yourself and your kids happy.
