All I want is for my husband to quit acting like he is still a bachelor and come and go as he pleases and do an buy what he wants without any input from me while I am at home with 2 kids.
You are NOT out of line!!!!
Marriage is a partnership. If you were not taking care of his children and everything else at home he could not work to bring home enough money to buy what he wanted to. Maybe if you go out to buy something nice that you have been wanting for awhile he will maybe see what you mean.
Good luck.
G.
No, I don't think that you are being unreasonable. My husband likes breaking things and banging on things,so I make him fix everything that he breaks and I won't replace the things that he destroys. I ignore his childish tamtrums as that seems to be the most effective way of dealing with him. He knows that if he hurts me, I will break every bone in his body.
NO YOU ARE NOT OUT OF LINE. FOR PETE SAKES HE IS MARRIED NOW. HIS BACHELOR DAYS ARE OVER WITH. I WOULD FEEL THE SAME WAY YOU FEEL. WOULD HE LIKE IT IF YOU ACTED LIKE YOU WERE NOT MARRIED? NO HE WOULD NOT. HAVE YOU TOLD HIM HOW YOU FEEL ABOUT HIM ACTING THE WAY HE DOES? LET HIM KNOW HOW THAT MAKES YOU FEEL.
L.,
I hope this gives you alittle insight. My husband was doing the same thing. It got even worse when i got out of the military and we moved back here to Billings. We decided that i would stay home with the kids until i enrolled full time in school. then he up and walked out. i am now going threw a divorce. Ever since he left the kids have been great and i know where the money is and me and the kids are our own family
you have been married 6 years? so this is new? or 5 years he's been acting this way? since the first child? or the second. not to sound like a you know what, but this is the man you chose to marry and have chosen to remain married to. you can not control or change any other person, you can only control your own actions and choices. if you decide that this is something YOU can not tolerate, make a choice accordingly, talking to him about it. if this is something you can overlook or deal with than do. i love what lillis m said. she deals with her marriage the way a person with self respect, love and tolerance would. she is not manipulative or threatening, she just does what she and her unique marriage needs. my favorite quote, which i read on the door of a bathroom in a restaurant, is "The only time you can change a man is when he is a baby" please know that i do understand that it is not as simple as all that. marriage is such a tangle of happy, sad, mad, love, dull, exciting. sometimes it is hard to know what to do and i am by no means an expert. i have certainly had problems in my marriage, some of them i was sure our marrieage would not survive, and i am SO GLAD that we fought for our marriage and really worked through the hard times. communication and compromise has always been the key, though sometimes he has had to give more than me and sometimes me more than him. but at no point in my marriage have we resolved our problems with ultimatums, control of the other spouse or manipulation. if it had come to that i would not still be married. i hope this helps, though i doubt it does, marriage is the most personal and intimate relationship there is. no one can truly understand but the two in the marriage. and that is a fact.
I really don't think that you are out of line!! My husband owns a business and he still includes me in everything!!! I have no say in the business and the things that come with it but out of respect he includes me because we are in the marriage together!! What happened to make him loose the respect? I think that he really needs to stop being so selfish!
I don't think you are out of line at all! My husband won't even by a candy bar without making sure I'm okay with it. And he still loves to hang out with his friends, who all have kids as well, but he always makes sure I'm okay with it first. I guess I would suggest just sitting down and talking with your husband. Good Luck!
That's not unreasonable at all. Now the trick is to not be nagging about it. He needs to realize that he has responsibilities. He is setting the example for your 15 (15 years old i assume)...would you want your kids to come and go without communication? He was 1/2 of the job to create them, so he's 1/2 of job to be responsible (not just earn the money). It pretty selfish to expect someone to "pick up his slack" and just do want he wants to do. It's very hard to find that communication level though that he's on. We instituted a big calendar and every sunday we look at the week and plan make sure we know what's going on. if it's not on the calendar then you don't just do it. With kids you have to be able to plan and if you need to get shopping done and he's supposedly free, then it's going to make it difficult when he takes off or gets home late.
L.,
No hon you're not out of line! My husband is the same way. And its gotten even worse since I just had my second baby. He thinks that he does is more imporant and alot harder than what I do! Its B.S! If you need someone to talk to I'm here! And I totally understand what you're going threw!
~M. Clark
No I dont think you are out of line.You BOTH got married. Marriage is not just for a party of one.He needs to wake up his bachelor days are gone. He helped make a family. He should be around to emotionally support you and his children and make sure your needs are met. Financially AND Emotionally.
