Am I Crazy or What

Sounds like she's a terrible client. Is it really worth it? If it is it's time to write up a contract.

You should type up some sort of agreement. Here's my situation, perhaps that will give you some guidelines. I've had to pay $95/week (daycare in my town is cheap, thank goodness) since my son was 6 weeks. The only way I get out of paying is if I give the daycare two weeks advance notice and he is absent for the entire week. Once 6:15 pm comes around, I'm paying late fees of $5/minute - I don't know of any parents that make a habit of picking up their kids late!

At the very least charge her $400 a month, draw up a contract and have it notarized, and if she doesn't pay -quit keeping the kid! I would also have a STRICT late policy just like day care centers -start charging her per minute late or put in the contract that she will owe $25 extra bucks every time she's late. Also, she has to pay you regardless of whether or not the baby is there -do everything just like a daycare! At $400 per month she's still getting a BIG DEAL! If she refuses to pay or doesn't -don't keep the kid.

I was in a similar situation although i do not have 7 kids :)...you are a saint for agreeing to watch her child. I , in the most gracious way possible, told the other mother I was no longer able to care for her child. I explained that it was too much on me to care for her child as well as my own and I took on more than I could handle...I kept her daughter for her until she found alternative care. I don't think she was too happy but she was not holding up her end of the deal so it was best for me to cut the ties...(she mostly was not paying me the agreed upon fee or was always late in paying). Unless you tell her what is bothering you and fix the problem it is only going to get worse and you will put yourself in a bad situation..So either be direct with her or get out of the situation... Hope it all works out.
S.

You aren't crazy, just not a "business woman." And caring for children is definately a business, albeit a "soft business." So up your pricing based on what you consider reasonable and based on her expectations/salary, draw up a contract of sorts with specific drop-off and pickup times, fees for per-day or per-week with a minimum fee should there be no care that week, and fees for before and after these times. A previous sitter charged $5/15-min for this, with a minimum fee of a 3-day charge, and a daily charge based on 25% of the weekly fee (really, "buy 4 and get one day free").

And you can always ask her not to return, and get another "client" that is more appreciative of you, your services, and your needs as a "business woman." GOOD LUCK!

Wow this lady has it made in the shade....my twins were put into Daycare at 2 years of age-I was lucky enough to stay at home for the 1st year of their lives but eventually none the less had to return to work.
At the time I was paying 315.00 a week for three full days-yes only 3 days my hubby usually had 2 days off during the week to cut the expenses down and at times I felt like I was only working for the childcare but couldn't afford NOT to work. I didn't plan on having twins but that is what God gave me and I just had to suck it up. The daycare always expected payment each and every week-regardless. It sucked because if they were sick and couldn't come not only did I just fork out $40.00 co-pay for the Ped visit but any RX that needed to be filled plus losing money at work because I had to call in. However, I understood that my situation was no different than any other parent out there and also understood the Daycare's position as well-they still have bills and staff to pay regardless if your child was there or not. In my opinion she is getting a FULL ride and taking advantage of you and it may piss her off but after checking around she will see that she has a good deal in place. I think you should compensate yourself a little more personally because this is quality time that you are missing out with YOUR own children and caring for someone elses child which because is an infant requires a lot more attention right now. I think you need to have a sit down talk with this clueless mom and I think a written contract sounds like a good idea as well. The daycare center I took my kids too had a form to fill out when you took vacation and they would only charge half for the week but you only had maybe a week or two so you had to use it wisely.
I think you should also call around to Daycare centers and getting their going rate and policies about payment and present those to her just so that when she starts to get pissy with you - you have some sort of "proof" that you aren't just trying to pull one over on her-fair is fair and it doesn't sound like this mommy is being very fair. I would even let her know that perhaps you have had other offers to watch but that you couldn't commit because you thought you already had a comitted parent but that when she "no shows" that prevents you from bringing in money to help support YOUR family. I think when she no shows she should have to pay just like any other parent would in a normal daycare setting. She will most likely get pissed off but either 1. She will realize what good of a deal she is getting and things will blow over and ya'll can actually sit down and accomplish an agreement or 2. She will just find another sucker for the time being until they realize what she is ALL about. Don't let this mom bully you around-just because she pays you to care for her child doesn't mean she has the right to do what she is doing to you. Stand up for yourself because if you don't-no one else will. Good luck with this one hon-let us know how it go!

I would charge more (at LEAST $100!!) and tell her I can't keep the child more than 8-10 hours a day....and if she's going to be late, tell her you will charge her $10 more for each hour late...something to that affect. I dont know your relationship with her and why she's getting such a good deal, but sounds like you are being taken advantage of. But maybe she's going thru a rough time, 2 jobs or something...either way, its rude.

Oooh, you have lots of answers, most of which I bet support you.
This is the agreement I have with my in-home caregiver:
1. $130/wk for 4 days 8-5. $30 for an extra day, if she is available.
2. She gets paid even if we don't come, including if we are sick, traveling, etc. There is no part day pay.
3. She does not get paid for her sick days, vacation or declared holidays.
4. If I am more than 1 week late, she can terminate care immediately. I always pay monthly.
5. I respect her home and her available hours, she is not drop-in care.
6. I let her know as soon as possible about changes to the schedule.

I haven't read your other answers, but I am sure they all say you are being taken advantage of and there is a definite lack of respect being shown to you, your family, your time and your home. Please write out an agreement stating fees, times of operation and no show policy. Have the mom sign it. If she won't agree, and continues to disrespect you, then $300/month is probably not worth it. I am sure there is another mama who would be thrilled to have someone kind and experienced watch her infant for reasonable rates!

I would just talk to the mom and go over your concerns with her. She possible doesn't know what your expectations are and she might be making a lot of assumtions since you are already a stay at home mom. Just talk it out before you get more frustrated.

Best of luck!!!

Okay. I'm sure you've already heard this a million times, but you must be consistent - that means that when you threaten something you must follow through. I know its hard but once threatened, you must take that most prized football practice away!

My daughter had a hard time getting up in the morning for school and nothing we did pleased her either, but giving her ultimatims did not help. I, instead, gave her authority over what she did - if she missed the bus, it was her fault, if she did not get up in time for me to take her to school, it was not my fault but hers. Tell him he is in charge of making sure his socks are in the laundry, he is in charge of making sure he does his homework or there will be "appropriate" consequences - he doesn't get to go w/friends to the mall, etc. If he lies about anything there will be demerits levied and he will never leave the house if he continues, except for family outings (and thus he might actually like to go w/you to the grocery store). Make him in charge of picking up groceries when you go so he learns where things are and he's in charge! My daughter learned very quickly that if it was her fault, she didn't get to join Poms/cheerleading, do things w/friends, etc. My son wanted desperatly to join the football team, but the condition was that he had to maintain his grades and if he brought home one "C", it was the end of football. He cried some nights because he didn't want to do his homework, but he knew the conditions and held it up to "A's and B's" because he knew I'd pull it right out from under him if he didn't. Parenting isn't easy, but they respect you more when you hold up your end of the bargain. BTW - both are grown now with children of their own and great people, who know what it took to get them raised, especially now that they have their own.

Did you have some type of contract or something in place for the mom to sign? Seem like this is the first step to take. You should take the time now and talk to her and tell her what is expected. One thing, I have learned, always communicate orally and written. When things are writtin, it is a legal documentation of what is understood between all parties.
I have worked in Child Care Center and now have a Family Child Care Home of my own, and it is written in my policy regarding the child's attendence.
As far as raising prices, a person has the right to raise prices, with at least a 2 weeks notice to the Parent. Again, put this in writing.

I hope this helps you C.. If you like, I have my Parent Handbook on my website at http://tlcfcc.weebly.com/ if you need help.

Best of luck,
R.

You're not crazy, you're a saint! It sounds like you might need to call DFCS - the department of family and children's services in your area. It's probably a good thing in the long run that this child is spending so much time in your household. There's no telling what kind of neglectful treatment she is receiving at home. Hang in there!

J. D.

C.,

I had an arrangement with my neighbor, who is a stay-at-home mom to watch my daughter 18 hours a week (6 hours/3 days) for $200 a month. This was all I could afford, but she graciously agreed to do that for a few months. I picked my daughter up at 3pm sharp and still there were days when I felt like I should be paying her more, just because of how happy my daughter was there and how well-cared for. This mom may be having all kinds of issues for which you have agreed to help her, but she needs to respect your time and work. You need to have different rates - 75 a week is good enough only for 6 hours a day at best, but even if it is 8 hours a day, you need to charge more for more than 8 hours. There were wonderful suggestions below. Sit down and write up a contract, ask someone else to take a look at it, and then sit down and talk to her.

Talk to the mom. You are only crazy if you let this continue. What she is doing is rude at best. The price you are charging is incredibly low. Some people I know who do in home don't expect to be paid if the child isn't there, but I think that is ridiculous. I have my daughter in daycare and have 2 free 'sick days' and can pay 1/2 price for a week I don't use it (when negotiated in advance). Personally we often just pay full price - we consider it a thank you for for all you do.

Frankly it isn't too much to ask her to call or let you know. If she can't, consider asking her to go elsewhere. When she looks around she should notice how great her current situation is.

When my mother in law watched my daughter when I was getting paid to work I paid her $75 a day each day for two days a week and that was for 8-9 hours a day.

If I was using someone all week I wouldn't dream of paying them anything less then 50 a day for the whole week, and unless a two week notice is given they should pay you.

Look around and see what a day care costs. Most day cares are only open about 12 hours and if you are late picking up your kid, you get billed 1 or 2 dollars for every minute you are late.

You sound like a sweet loving lady who is being incredibly generous with your heart and your time, but stick up for yourself and don't get taken advantage of... I assure you, she even if you raise your rates to 50 a day she won't find a better deal around.

H.

I don't know a whole lot about the childcare industry but I know you're getting screwed, Big Time! The rules are not up to her...they are up to you!! There is usually some negotiation of the details that goes on, but YOU should decide YOUR available days to work, how many hours a day you want to work, and whether or not you will be paid for her sick/vacation days and whatnot.

Seriously, she is taking advantage of you.

I don't think you're crazy. You probably wanted to help out and could use the extra money with the large family that you have and that's understandable. I think maybe you just have to have a talk with this mom and explain to her your situation because it sounds like you are being disrespected with her being late, not showing up and then skipping a week and you're left without the income that you were depending on. Best of luck to you, C. and hope this all works out for you.

You are already giving her the deal of the century with only charging her $75.00 per week. That is less than 1/2 of what she would pay at a daycare. You should definitely establish some guidelines or come up with a contract. She should pay you the entire fee for the week regardless of how many days the baby comes. Also, you should establish some type of rule like, 2 vacation weeks per year, which must be planned in advance. You should also limit the hours per day, or charge an addition fee if she picks him up later than 6:00 PM, for instance. She is taking advantage of you which is really terrible considering how much money you are saving her.

Most who care for infants charge $100 to $125 a week if the infant comes every week. If she wants to be on a day to day basis the fee would be more. That is a "drop in" rate and usually by the hour. $5 an hour is not unreasonable for a drop in. If she is gone 11 hours then it's $55. Good caregivers for infants are hard to find and you should be able to replace the lost revenue if she wants to go elsewhere. I know someone who gets $200 a week for infant through 3 years. V.

Tell her you can no longer keep her child. Period.

You are crazy! LOL for doing it for $50 or %75/week! A friend of mine has kept a little boy since he was a baby and he is now 18months. She keeps him 3 days a week and gets paid $150/week... If you want to continue this, then you need to have a talk with the mom, raise your rates and decide on what to do about no show days. I don't think my friend gets paid on days that this woman doesn't need her. The woman is a teacher, so basically she won't drop her child off on school holidays. The other two days, this little boy goes to another friend's house where his mom pays another $50/per day.... I think to make it worthwhile, you need to charge more because that is a hard age to keep and only gets harder as they become more mobile. And if you do charge more then maybe you wont miss a few days here or there without pay.. hope it all works out for you:)

You need to set limits with this other Mom. I would have a talk about what you expect and what she expects. Also, I think you are charging too little especially for the amount of time that you are keeping this child. I paid way more (closer to $125 per week) for both of my children to stay with at lady at her home for 8 hours a day when they were that age and that was 8 to 11 years ago. I would check to see what the going rate is in your area. And I also paid each week regardless if my child was there or not. So no, I do not think you are crazy. Have the talk.

If you're going to continue this, you need to draw up a contract outlining exactly what you are going to do. You and the mom should both sign it. She should have to pay for no shows because she is reserving your time and it is very rude to not let you know she won't be dropping off her child. You should also be charging her way more money. You are caring for a baby and need to be compensated fairly.

If you are going to continue to watch him, you have to establish better boundaries. If she was at a day care or school, if she was a no show, she would not be able to deduct the money - and she would be paying double the money! I would say unless she communicates with you in advance about being out for a week, she stills owes the full amount. She basically has you on a short leash for $75 a week (or less) because you can't make plans to do or go somewhere because you don't know if she is going to be a no show or not. So, I'd say better communication is needed. And if you continue to watch this child, she needs to be more respectful of your time!

A comparable day care would cost her $50 A DAY, not a week. No wonder she feels free to take advantage of you!

Like everyone said, you need a contract, or to sever your relationship with this woman.

C.,
I appreciate this might be a difficult choice financially but this arrangement is not working out. You need to discuss your concerns directly with this mother and if she continues to not abide with your arrangement you need to discontinue this service.
Good luck!

C.,
I would establish a handbook for your "childcare" even though you are only watching one child. This will make the agreement more official and you can even have the mother sign the agreement. Many childcare providers have a certain number of "slots" and whether or not the child shows up every day or is out sick, the parent still has to pay for that "slot". It is a job, after all.
Tell her that you are trying to get organized with watching and taking care of so many children that this is best for you and her.
This way, neither of you feel taken advantage of. And if you need to go to an "hourly" rate, then that make work out best if the days are getting longer. Good luck!