Am I Being Unreasonable?? - McKinney,TX

Well, it does seem kind of fishy but that doesn't necessarily mean he is cheating with her. My husband hates to rearrange his schedule for anything. It sounds bad, but I know he is not a cheater. He just feels uncomfortable changing plans, especially when soemone else is involved. Has he ever acted like this with his plans with guy friends or other work things not involving this woman?

Everything may be just business as men usually don't like changing their schedules. If you are uncomfortable with the situation, keep your eyes and ears open to see if anything seems out of ordinary. Hope all is well.

Personally, whether anything more is going on or not, HE IS WRONG. I'm sorry, but the health of your spouse comes before anything! It is not unreasonable to ask him to accompany you to the doctor. He should rearrange his schedule to do that, no matter what is going on. It sounds like he doesn't appreciate you or have his priorites right. It is time to communicate!!

I can imagine how frustrating this must have been, and why it has made you begin to question the situation. Two things came to my mind: do you have proof that the client is really paying for these lessons; and have you ever met this client? Also, do you know for a fact if she actually owns her own plane?

My belief is that, when we start to get suspicious of something, there is often a reason for it. It's possible that, for the first time in your marriage, you are at a point where you're able to handle whatever you find out about this relationship. Maybe instinctively you knew before that you weren't. (does that make sense? I'm tired...) I think you should stay calm and not make any more comments to him, but begin to dig around for some information. That will help you know whether or not there is any more reason to question him or not. As far as him rescheduling or even giving you an exact time, I wonder if that is because he has to file a flight plan (so couldn't reschedule easily), and if the actual flying time is iffy because of possible delays? At any rate, I personally think there is enough here to warrant further investigation! But no need to rock the boat yet; just begin gathering more information as discreetly and casually as you can. BTW, it sounds like you have some fun kids! :)

If this woman owns her own plane, then I'm sure she has enough money to find a new pilot. I bet your husband doesn't want to lose her as a client because the money is too good (and I can't blame him). Also, maybe your husband didn't see why watching your 18mo. old at the doctor's would be so difficult. I say give him the benefit of the doubt (also, if you're not involved in the family finances, then you ought to be. This way, you'll know just how much she is paying him and you'll also be able to see if there's something more going on).

One suggestion - have you ever met this client? What about inviting her over for dinner or taking her to out to dinner as a thank you for hiring your husband? This would give you both the opportunity to get to know each other so she's not just "some woman" who has hired your husband.

It doesn't sound like anything is going on. I hate when anyone changes my plans last minute. For him, that would be very unprofessional and you have no idea what her schedule is or where she is going. For such a high profile client, it would seem awkward to ask her to push back her schedule for 45 minutes because of a personal issue.

Probably because you weren't feeling well in the first place you were putting more emotions on this than were real. I doubt for him it was a personal as putting her before you. Ask yourself, if it was a male client, would you be feeling the same way?

Relax, get better, and get over it... :)

When a woman feels something is wrong, it usually is. I'm not saying your husband is cheating, but if he is flying alone with this woman, I think it is inappropriate. You are his wife and you should come first. Your marriage should be the most important thing in both of your lives and if him flying with her is causing conflict, he should end his business with her. Don't let him think you are wrong or crazy because of how you feel. You are hurt and angry and have every right to your feelings. He owes it to you and himself to sit down and honestly discuss this problem. Good luck to you!!

It all sounds strange to me, but at the same time, I can see both sides. Consider for a moment why you did not take off of work on Thursday to go to the doctor. If you were well enough to work, your husband may honestly not have felt it to be a major health issue..they are not the brightest at times anyway! So then, in his defense, why would you expect him to rearrange his work schedule for something that you would not do for yourself? Now, that said..I personally find the whole thing a bit odd..but we are very conservative people, and this "relationship" would never have even started with my husband..he just would not have taken the job. But, not everyone sees things the way we do, and clearly your husband may really be trying to earn the money it provides him. My advice is not to react to this particular situation, but the entire problem. He needs to recognize that this seems odd to you, and be more than willing to be direct, and exact in his information. You should know when each flight leaves, how long it takes him to get there..he should call immediately when he lands, etc.. Does he have to stay in a hotel at all...then you should have all of those details too. The more information he will share, the more likely you are to trust him. If for any reason he is reluctant..it is time to really question. Not that you need all details of his professional life, but this is a different situation, and he needs to respect your concerns. I will say, this is why we (my DH and I) do everything we can to aviod all things like this...we dont even carpool with a member of the opposite sex...we are very protective of each other, so I can only imagine how you must be feeling. I hope it all works out well..good luck!! ~A.~

I also see his point on rearranging a schedule.

My husband is very busy with his schedule and to change things ends up in him moving so much around it is not worth it. He has business meetings, flights scheduled, and places to be at certain times which do not simply involve his schedule. It involves other people's schedules.

I can see your hubby's point, especially with piloting.

When I have something pop up, I know it is unlikely to get hubby's schedule changed. As things do pop up in for upcoming weeks, (ex daughter's concert, etc) I make sure it is all on his schedule so he can schedule his meetings around it.

I know it is tough....sometimes it is like being a single parent with a hubby who has a hectic schedule.

Good luck.

Everyone's said exactly my thoughts. You could do some checking up on the client & their time together.