Almost 7 Year Old Scared at Night

I recommend reading The Barenstain Bear's "Afraid of the Dark". My daughter pulls that one out for me to read when she starts having too many nights where something scares her. She's 6.

My older son went through a period when he couldn't sleep because of worries. I gave him a worry stone and that helped. It is just a smooth polished stone with a spot to rub your thumb to reduce stress and create calmness. He kept it under his pillow and rubbed it when he was worried. It worked.

Your child sounds like a very bright and creative child. Many of these children can and do scare themselves.

Our daughter can freak herself out just by thinking of situations that are out of her control.

When she was younger we gave her "dream coins" (you can find odd coins at gift stores) we used American coins, but your child is old enough that foreign coins could work, I suggest you get a few, so that if he loses them, you have a replacement. You can even go to a religious store and find charms of different Saints..again, purchase a few in case they are misplaced.

You tell him this dream coin will help keep the bad dreams away. He just needs to keep it under his pillow.

This worked for our daughter. One time I found a pile of coins under her pillow and asked her, why they were there? She said she had a really bad dream, so she put a bunch of dream coins under her pillow and made it all go away.

My mom used to tell us, when we have a bad dream, to roll over and sleep on our other side, so the dream would go away. This still works for me as an adult.

Oh so typical, especially at this age. I would just continue to talk to him and reassure him there is nothing to be scared about. Maybe get a white noise machine to drown out the silent noise that occurs at night.
If you are the praying kind, say your prayers together at night and ask the angels to watch over your son during his sleep. Just have patience with him and you will get over this hump, may take a while but you will get there. good luck!

Almost seven may seem practically grown up, but children that age are still sorting out reality from fantasy. Even little things (or little commercials or little shows) that seem innocuous to grownups can be downright scary! And they're made to be that way. They're supposed to grab your attention and stick in your head, right?

One of my grandchildren is going through a "very scared" phase right now. She's way more sensitive about these things than her friends are, currently. She and her parents do a lot of talking, and she has learned to excuse herself when her preschool (or her friend across the street) is watching something that frightens her. When she's older, she can try those things again and see if she can find the fun in them.

When I was a child I was frightened by lots of things. I still don't like ghost stories. I never watched all of "A Christmas Carol" until I was grown because that third spirit always got me! I could hardly watch "The Wizard of Oz" - well, I saw it to the end, but the appearances of mean Miss Gulch and the Wicked Witch were always the times I had to, um, go get a drink of water. There were even sixty-second public service announcements in which the animated character would look right at ME from the television screen and ask, "But what would YOU do in the case of a fire in your home?" That was enough to set off my fears. My mama lost sleep because I was losing sleep!

My older son had nightmares when he was your son's age. What about? The original Star Wars movies that are so laughable to everyone today. But his emotions were real.

Please know that your son is understanding intellectually that some of his fears are groundless, but it's not an intellectual difficulty. He needs to break away from his strong emotions. That's why he wakes up and comes to you.

Helping him make a plan to combat the fears himself might be good. If you are a praying family, let him know that he can always, always go to God with his fears. Teach him the Bible passages that will remind him of that. If he needs physical action, let him try getting up, heading for the fridge, and getting a drink of milk. See if walking around the house (inside only - no lights on!) helps his emotions to clear. If he has a room by himself, would turning his bedside light on and reading a book for a few minutes redirect his mind? If he needs a change of room, can he pull a blanket and pillow into your room and sleep on the floor without waking you and Daddy up?

This phase won't last forever! It's just part of the mama job.

At that age, I had a small flashlight that I slept with under my pillow. Even with a night light or small lamp on, there are still shadows cast that can be spooky; especially to a kid sleeping by himself who has already imagined the worst possible hung it could be. Lol.

The flashlight was nice, because I could shine it into he dark corners and see for myself. Just get one of the flashlights that turns on when it is squeezed, so that it will be too much work to play with all night.

Sit down with him and ask him to tell you what he is afraid of. Instead of asking questions, use the phrase, "Tell me...." Also, don't respond with your solutions or ideas about his fears. Just validate with phrases like, "I get how scary that would be for you" As he describes things to you, allow him to fully feel whatever he is feeling and don't try to make him feel better right away. You can hold him or wrap him in a soft blanket while he tells you, just don't try and stop him from felling the fear. It is important that he feels loved, supported, and validated while he is in the fear rather than to have you dismiss or try and make it all better. Feelings are just energy and they will move through us if we give them the space to do so. Otherwise, we end up stuffing them and they just play over and over again.

Then ask him to tell you what he thinks is stronger than the fearful thing. For instance, "Tell me something that is stronger than the Grinch" Or ask him to tell you some ways that he could be safe. Too often we don't allow our children to use their innate creativity and strong imaginations to actually solve their own problems. Encourage him to think of some solutions, even magical and imaginative ones since the fear is in his imagination anyhow. When I was teaching my children to problem solve, I would ask them to come up with three solutions and that then I would come up with three solutions. I would try and encourage silly and magical because that shifts a child out of fear into humor.

Also, curiosity is the antidote to fear. That is why it is important to support the child in being curious about his own beliefs and thoughts. Sometimes it is helpful to lead them through the fear by also asking, "Tell me what would happen next," "And what happens next?" If they say, "I don't know" then ask them to use their imagination to imagine what might happen next. Then sit there and be very quiet. This will give them the space they need to tap into their own thoughts and discover what is going on for them.

Too often when we have a fear story playing in our heads we get stuck in the most traumatic, fearful part of the story. Asking what will happen next and then what and then what and then what, can take you further down the timeline where solutions happen and the fearful situation gets resolved.

Great question: my son turned 7 six weeks ago and JUST started this last week. He asked for a night light (first time EVER) and we were like "What? Ok?" and tried to talk to him, but his mind is racing. We are also careful about what he watches, listens to, and plays. I'm thinking this may be a developmental stage but will be watching to see what answers you get. I have no help for you except to say I'm going through it too and hope the best for y'all.

I recommend doing the Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) with him as a bedtime routine, tapping away his fears. If you are interested, you can google it or ask me for some links. I do not do this for a living or have any websites, so I am not trying to drum up business.

My dd is older than that and still freaks out about being in the basement by herself.