Aggressive Behavior in Almost 3 Yr. Old

Hi L.,
I'm certain that this situation cannot be fun! I had a nephew that had serious behavior issues when he was little. I think he got kicked out of 4 or 5 pre-schools for biting and hitting. I have a background in Speech Pathology and Audiology and recommended that my nephew have his hearing checked. The tests showed a very moderate hearing loss and the aggression had to do with an inability to communicate. So, make sure you explore any biological reasons for the aggression as well as behavioral.

Also, as a parent of a very active little boy, who was twice as active as a toddler, I suggest you tell your son the rules of play and expected behavior and the consequences of such behavior. At age 3 he should be able to understand. And stick to the rules and consequences. Be consistent. I know that this will be an inconvenience at first, because you will just get to the park and within 5 minutes have to turn around and leave. But it should work if you're consistent.

Also, the school teachers may not see the aggressive behavior because they have other kids they're watching.

Lastly, there will always be other mothers who say nasty things about other children and their parents. It's embarrassing at the time, but give it time. They'll have their own issues with their children and hopefully you'll be more compassionate.

Good Luck!

Unfortunately this is normal behavior..get this book "Hands Are Not For Hitting" and read it to him..also repeat it when he starts to hit..my son did it and his friends did it to him around that age..now he's 3.5 and i still get an occasional note from school saying he hit a friend..toddler/little ones have these urges and they haven't learned self control yet..so read him the book a lot..and as soon as he hits a child at the park..give him a warning that u will leave if he does it again..if and when he does..promptly leave and go home..no playing ..."to have friends you have to be a friend" that's what i say to my son..and we talk about hitting...remember to talk things out and tell him why it is bad.

I've heard that kids who are put in daycare have a tendency to be more aggressive as a way of acting out against their parents. I think your sons behavior would improve if you made it possible for him to stay at home with you until he was at least 5 years old and ready for real school (kindergarden). He knows he doesn't have a choice in the matter, so he is showing his dislike of the environment by acting out. Show him how much you love him by investing your time and effort into loving him during the day.

First of all, I think the girl's mother at the park over-reacted. It is very common for kids this age to get physical because they cannot fully express their feelings through speech. A lot of kids act up around their parents more often because they're comfortable with pushing the limits with them rather than another adult they don't know as well. I suggest giving him something like a stuffed animal to hit or pinch when he's angry. When he's diffusing, try giving him words for his feelings. ex: "I see that you're feeling frustrated." Be consistent with your discipline as well as your praise. Try to catch him deciding to not react physically and praise him for it. Good luck!