Age to Begin Having/going to Sleepovers with Someone Other than Family

I may be over protective about this, but I think that 5 is too young. Do you know the mother? Do you know the father, brothers, sister etc and what goes on at their house? For me, I would have to know them extremely well and feel that my kids were old enough to know how to handle themselves if something went wrong. My kids will probably be having sleep overs at our house way before I let them stay at a friends house where I hardly know the parents. Let them do an almost sleep over, where they wear pj's and hang out till 9 or so, but still come home and sleep in there own beds.

I think 5 is too young for sleepovers with friends. I've had many sleepovers at my house and do not allow them anymore. I have a 14 year old now who has always been a little social butterfly. My daughter was about 8 when I started allowing sleepovers with friends. She had one close friend and I knew both parents, so I allowed it, occasionally and it worked out great at that time. As she got older and made more friends, it got to be way too stressful for me. I understood how important it was for my daughter to have friends, thus sleepovers come with that, so I allowed them to make her happy. It can be costly too with food, activities, etc.--limit sleepovers. Now, I won't allow sleepovers anymore. I've done many sleepovers for past 6 years (more than most parents of her friends) and have witnessed many fights, loud noise and staying up late, crabby kids in the morning, and no one who wants to clean up their messes. Call me a negative nelly, but kids who stay up late, trash your house, and then leave with an attitude is not my cup of tea. Plus, fighting with my daughter to clean messes ended it all. Learn from my mistakes--be cautious and limit the sleepovers if you choose to have them. Instill rules also such as everyone has to quiet by midnight and the messes have to be cleaned up. I totally respect those parents who never allow sleepovers--and I understand why!:)

Just my 2 cents,

M.

Just my 2 cents,

M.

my daughter has had a best friend since she was 2 1/2 and started having sleepovers with her at about 3. we know the parents very well. she was supposed to have a sleepover with a girl from school and got scared and i had to pick her up, but she was just down the street, and her friend ended up staying at our house that night. i think she will be fine and definetly talk with the parents.

hi well my daughter is only 3 and I have not had to think about it yet,she does stay at my moms,but my sister has a boy that just turned 6 and he has been staying at freinds houses for I think about 6 mo. maybe you can have the friend stay at your house first then have your daugther stay over there. I hope this helps T.

hey M.
beiing a mother of 5 girls i know all about the joys of sleepover what one can what one can't my four 1/2 year old has done it on and off for a year now but only with friends i have know for a long time and i felt safe with them. maybe have the sleepover at your house then at least you feal better

I'm in a similar situation. My daughter just turned 5 and wants to have a sleepover with her school friend. I know her mother pretty well, we've had lunch dates/play dates etc. BUT I don't know much about her father and I do know that they smoke in their home.

She was invited to sleepover and we politely declined. I just don't feel comfortable leaving her in someone's care/home overnight, especially when I don't know much of anything about her father.

Some kids are comfortable with sleepovers at 5 others aren't at 10 yet. I have two very independent children and they spent the night at a friends house at 5. First I had the child at my house where I was in control. Second if they smoke, have pets, etc. My sons best friend has a dog and he doesn't like spending the night there because of the dog. We were honest with the parents (that obviously aren't getting rid of their dog) and we just pick him up really late! Other children are polite guests and are invited often. You'll know about 2 AM if you'll ever have the girl over again.

M. - Have the girl stay at your house overnight then you can monitor everything. I was nervous with my daughter she is now a little older but I worry about the same things - what goes on at the house what about the dad who I don't know. If it is at my house it is w/ our rules and bedtime - all is well for me. It is just one night. She is 5.5 she will get tired and go to sleep at this age. I bet the other mother would not think twice if you invited her daughter over for a sleepover but ask what she thinks?

Of course in my house I have to make sure my DH is properly clothed at all times when we have other kids overnight!!! Full PJs sorry it is 90 - Yikes!

I started with my daughter and a few of her friends when they were 4. We had done 1 year of preschool with them, where I seen the child and mom 2 days a week for the whole school year..then started the next school year together. I made sure the child was comfortable with me and then I asked the mom after several playdates at my house.

Not only does the child, but the parent also needs to be comfortable with you.

My daughter will be 6 in Sept..and her last birthday party we had 4 girls plus my daughter for a BIG sleepover party! :)

As of now..I've had 5 different girls total spend the night at our home for sleep overs...

GOOD LUCK..They are alot of fun and alot of work!

I didn't let any of mine till after 7.

I'd try not to start this at this age - maybe strike a compromise like a slumber party with moms and kids together. You might make this an end-of-summer thing, but I sure wouldn't rush it. If you do it now, they're going to be begging to do it a million times all summer, and she's too young for being away from you much.

I want you to know that if you don't feel comfortable letting you daughter sleep over than don't. My child was almost 12 or 13 years old before I let her sleep over my sister's home. Family and friends could stay at my home but she could not stay over theirs. I know what goes on in my home. I don't know what goes on in others. Don't feel guilty. When she gets older she'll uderstand. Maybe her friend can sleep over your house.