He's responding this way... because he is young. He is not a teen. For a Teen, something like that would work...and because teens do not like to go to bed early and they like to watch tv etc.
For a 4 year old, their "memory" about things happening earlier in the day... is like a LONG time ago for them.
I would have... asked my child what happened... to see HIS telling of the story.
AND, maybe it was not even a big deal anyway? Meaning, LOTS of 4 year olds.... are not "expert" listeners.
Maybe that Coach... expects too much from 4 year olds? That can also be the case. Remember... "Coaches" are not child experts... especially of young kids. They are sport coaches. Not behavioral experts or Teachers.
So they don't always know... how a young child is... because they are used to dealing with OLDER kids or adults.
For example: when my daughter was 5 and in Kindergarten, she had a PE Teacher. She came home crying about PE. I listened to her story. I spoke to that Teacher too and heard his side of the Story. I helped my daughter because ultimately I believed HER. Foremost.
What later happened... was this PE teacher was "laid off." But I found out it was because he was really not age appropriate... and was more like a drill sergeant than a "Coach" (which is what they called him). Apparently, he expected total total total cooperation... from the YOUNG kids.... and if not, he would quite gruffly, make an example of them etc.
Anyway, you cannot expect a 4 year old, to "perfectly" listen and cooperate at this age. There are also ways of "encouraging" kids to cooperate or participate. But to expect them to listen, like a 10 year old, is missing the boat.
It is not about you being too lenient... it is about, age-appropriate "Expectations" and if that is in-line... with the child's age or not. If not, you/a parent/teacher will be continually frustrated with the child... and the child will never be able to be good enough. It is all about "expectations"... and it being age-appropriate or not.
A 4 year old... will NOT 100% of the time listen. No 4 year old will. Nor can they spot on 100% of the time follow direction or do it. It is all about their cognizance and age and coordination, as well.
And yes, 4 years old... is pretty young for soccer... camp. So... a Coach or parent cannot expect a child this age to do everything perfectly.
My daughter takes Karate... and they do not allow kids, until 5 years old, for lessons. Due to a child's development... and maturity.
I would really, see... if this was a BIG deal/problem... or just an age-related glitch. He does not seem to be a behaviorally problematic child... he just seems to be a NORMAL 4 year old.
The book: "Have A New Kid By Friday" is also good, and good for ideas. It is NON punitive...and effective. The author is Leman.
all the best,
Susan