Advice on Travelling with a 6 Month Old

Updated on May 30, 2009
M.E. asks from Summerdale, AL
15 answers

Next month my sister-in-law will be graduating from Police Academy. She really wants my husband, daughter (who will be 6 months then) and I to attend. I couldn't attend her graduation from University because I was too pregnant and it was an 11 hour drive! She really wants to be able to show off her neice to her classmates! However, it's a 3 hour drive one way and she cries for car rides that are past 45 mins! We also don't have the money to afford the gas, all the eating out, PLUS a hotel to stay overnight. Another concern is when we had to take an emergency trip to Canada, which required a lot of travelling (by plane and car), she behaved well, but then when she got home, she would have panic attacks anytime you put her in a car. For an entire week after our trip she would scream and cry the entire car ride and be inconsolable with toys, or music or anything! We are moving back to Canada exactly one week after my sister-in-law's graduation, so I really can't afford for her to be panicked through travelling again. My in-laws don't understand my reservations at all and think I'm being over-protective and rude to their daughter. My husband has given very little help in the decision process and acts indifferent. I need some advice from moms who are impartial... am I overprotective, or are my concerns valid? Help!

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So What Happened?

Thank you for all your e-mails and views from both sides. I needed to clarify that my in-laws (and my husband and I) currently live in lower AL. My sister-in-law has a one-bedroom apartment up where she's graduating in north AL, so staying with her isn't an option (as well as she doesn't have any extra cash since she's a student). My husband, daughter and I will be moving back to Canada (where I'm from) the week after graduation, so it may be my last chance to see her for awhile. We haven't decided as of yet what to do, but you have all given me great ideas and support that I will share with my husband. Thank you!

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S.R.

answers from Johnson City on

I took my daughter who was 12 mos at the time to Annapolis Md in June to see her brother inducted into the Naval Academy...She traveled well and we were more tired of the trip and excessive walking (back and forth and back and forth across campus)than she was!

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C.

answers from Tuscaloosa on

I think that the graduation is a very big deal. I think that you should ask yourself how much family means to you, and how mush would your sister-in-law go out of her way for you. Family is very important to us and we have needed and helped family members in the past.
If your daughter is 6 months then she still takes naps. Leave before her scheduled nap (or very early inthe morning) and she should fall asleep during the trip. If she doesn't fall asleep driving then leave early travel for a half hour to 45 minutes, get out at a safe place (McDonalds) get her to sleep and get back in the car for the rest of the trip. As to the gas I'm sure you sister-in-law will send you a walmart gas card or something if she really want you there. And I would think you could stay with family.
Good luck with your decision.

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A.S.

answers from Gadsden on

Being over-protective is not a bad thing, do not feel sorry about that, there are too many ppl who don't care enough, we need more nursing, overprotective moms like you. Ok, that being said, you just have to tell her you are very sorry that you can't make it, and you would love to be there but you don't have the money to go and don't make it out to be because your over protective of the baby, you just can't budget it. Just be sincere and tell her you just can't make it, believe me its hard enough to make the move. A.-mother of Layla 14mts

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M.B.

answers from Tuscaloosa on

My daughter was born the month before my sister-in-law graduated from highschool. I didn't want to take the baby because little ones don't do well at formal events. I was scared I would have to get up and down. I would explain that you don't think it is wise to take the baby to something like this. Also, this is the wrong time of year for her to want to show off her. This is peek RSV season not to mention the Flu. Just be honest and talk to your hubby. Tell him your concerns and MAKE him talk and let you know how he feels about this all. Remember she is your child and you have to do what is best for her.
Good luck
M.

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S.T.

answers from Nashville on

First and foremost, she is your daughter. Whatever you say or do goes, nobody else. Period.

Secondly, if you can't afford it, don't do it. Trust me, two kids and thousands of dollars worth of debt later I wish someone would have pulled me aside and stopped me.

Is there a compromise that can be reached? Is you husband able to attend and have the two you stay at home where your daughter is most comfortable?

I'm sorry that your inlaws are acting in that way. I am an overprotective mother, but there's really nothing wrong with it. Our job as mothers are to help ensure our babies' health and happiness since they are unable to do it themselves. HTH.

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T.

answers from Chattanooga on

Is she sleeping through the night? Try leaving at night while she is sleeping. If it is only 3 hours, you might be able to make the whole trip before she wakes up. Just make sure you have her strapped into her carseat. If she is still in the infant (carrier) seat, this might not be too hard. As for the cost of going, that is another issue. Would your in-laws (or your sister-in-law) be willing to help out with the cost? Can you stay with your sis-in-law or another relative? If yu decide to go, you might need to take breaks every hour or so so that you can change the baby and let her move around a little. Hope this helps.

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M.B.

answers from Benton Harbor on

I have found that my children travel better at nighttime, especially late night when they are usually going to sleep anyway. That may be an option. Have you tried sitting in the back with your daughter while your travelling? Your daughter may feel more comforted seeing your face in the backseat.

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F.W.

answers from Nashville on

First time mother's are always overprotective. It's ok. You could try to give her some benadryl, it's my cure for everything....... almost. Anyway, it will make her drowzy and she will go to sleep. When she wakes up make sure she has comfort stuff. Like a bottle, blanket, favorite teddy, whatever. But go to the graduation. It would mean the world to your sister-in-law.

F.

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E.A.

answers from Birmingham on

I don't think you're being overprotective at all.

My husband has a lot of family who live about four hours away from us, and every Christmas they want us all to come up there. We usually disappoint them and don't go because I've been concerned about driving our baby all that way. Finally this Christmas we went. My son is thirteen months old. He did pretty well the whole drive up there, but the drive back was AWFUL. He had diarhea, so we had to stop every ten minutes or so to change his diaper, and he screamed almost the entire four hours.

Of course if he hadn't had the upset tummy it probably wouldn't have been that bad, and it wouldn't necessarily be that bad for you. I'm just saying that it's okay to feel hesitant about it, and in the end you should do whatever you think is best for your baby even if it upsets everyone else.

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B.C.

answers from Mobile on

Hi. For me personally a baby crying in the car is so hard to deal with. I don't think you are being overprotective but if they can't understand your situation and they aren't paying for the trip I wouldn't let it bother you so much. It really depends on how bad you want to go and if you can figure out ways to entertain the baby for the trip. She is going to have to get use to car rides (even extended ones) so there is nothing you can really do. Also make sure her seat is comfortable for her and the straps aren't too tight or that it is positioned correctly and comfortably. Good Luck.

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R.C.

answers from Jackson on

My children all cried on long trips too. Maybe your husband can go and stay at his parents house. That way you can save on money for a hotel and your sister-in-law hopefully wont be mad because at least her brother will be there. Also, you could send a really sweet congratulatory card and write a personal message to her. Maybe you could take her somewhere special to celebrate when you move back home and tell her how hard it was for you to make the decision not to attend her graduation, but that it is reaaly difficult traveling with a small baby. Hopefully she will understand. You may want to call her before so she's not expecting you, but send a card as well. Good luck.

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B.G.

answers from Jackson on

Our latest road trip was the best yet when we used the Taby Tray. It kept our daughter busy for hours. She was able to use it for snacks as well as having a surface to play on. I love the cupholder and crayon holders, as I am not having to pick these up from the floor anymore. She even drew on it with crayon and we could wash it off with soap/water. Great for short trips also.

The tray is sturdy and very simple to attach. It works great on our stroller as well --- we use it at the mall --- makes shopping/eating there enjoyable!!!

I will be buying another when when we have our next one, as I will have 2 kids close in age to contend with!

You can get them at www.kidscornershop.com for the cheapest online. Hope this helps.

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A.H.

answers from Nashville on

M., I think that as a Mom, your top priority has to be your child, and you know what is best for your baby. If you are sure that this trip would not be good for your baby, then I think you should just explain to your family that the baby has to come first right now. They may be upset, but in the long run, you know what is best and you shouldn't feel guilty. Being a Mom is hard sometimes, but as long as you are happy with your decision, try not to dwell on what other people think. One day, your sister-in-law will probably be a Mom and then she'll understand.

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S.J.

answers from Knoxville on

Hello M.~

I guess I am lucky in the fact that my daughter loves to travel. When she was little we used to fly and drive everywhere. I took alot of things for her to do though, and when it was with other people, I would sit in the backseat with her and not just leave her back there by herself. Yeah, some like the portable DVD players, but that shouldn't be a babysitter. Babies need that personal contact. Maybe try this as something a little bit different. It works for me, and my daughter does a 9 hour trip at age 7 like a breeze. She loves to travel, and packs her own case of things to do now. Good luck to you!!!

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L.G.

answers from Hattiesburg on

M.,
Never forget that you are the expert on your child. She depends on you to know her, love her and protect her... Not just from physical harm, but also from mental stress. This is her time to grow - physically, emotionally and to be secure that you are there for her.
This time is such a short period of her (and your) life.
It can be difficult to choose between loved ones. I can feel your frustration over being placed into a situation where you feel you have to make a choice between the wellbeing of your baby and the expectations of adults. It is even more challenging that this is your in-laws.
Perhaps if you found some quiet time (nap-time?) to truly reflect on your gut-feelings it would be easier for you to know what to do.
If you do decide to make the trip, you might consider traveling during the night, while your baby sleeps.
Leave very early in the morning, so you arrive at the time your baby would normally wake.
Pack a cooler of healthy snacks and light meals to avoid the expense of eating out.
I hope this helps. I am confident that you will make the right choice for you and your family.
L. G

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