Advice on Sleep Issues

I agree with everyone else. Kids are only so little for so long, so let him sleep with you. You will both get much needed sleep & when he gets older he will want to go to his own bed. Good luck & sweet dreams!

Since this started when he started on solids, you may take solids out of his diet for a week or so and see if it helps. You may be able to better determine what is causing the problem that way! Good luck!

I'd just let him sleep with you. Our 2yo still sleeps w/ us and it is actually quite comforting for us. He's a real snuggle bunny!! There are studies out that say co-sleepers are more secure adults(this is especially good for him since his dad isn't around)so I say let him sleep w/ you. Sleep is also important for proper growth, so don't be worried what others think and enjoy your snuggling.

I nyour about me section you might want to change your 13 year old to a 13 month old........as a 13 year old sleeping with you is a little strange! LOL

Ok to the problem at hand, I was a single mother too from the time my daughter was born until she was 2. She slept with me all of the time, there are those who will tell you that is the most awful thing in the world. I say go with your own instincts. To me what a better way tobond with your baby and being a single mom and working as I was and assume you are it is few and far between to get that time! If he sleeps better at night (and you too) then let him sleep with you. I would continue to put him down in his own bed and if he gets up then put him in with you as that will keep his bedtime routine and when he starts sleeping thru the night he will already be in his own bed you know?

Good luck! Don't worry too much about what others say, this is your kid!! :)

I just noticed that we have the same initials and name, except mine has no H!

I can't give you any advice on the milk issue, but if you feel like letting him sleep with you...go for it! All three of our kids did, and occasionally still do! They slept so soundly through the night. And even though we got kicked in the ribs alot and woke up with feet in our faces many a night, it was fine with me. I know parents who forbid their babies/toddlers to sleep with them even once because some "book told them not to do it" which I think is nuts personally. Do what you feel is right! And by the way, one day, they will tell you that they want to sleep in their own bed. So, don't worry that you're going to have a 13 year old who still wants to sleep with you. They will grow out if it themselves (ours were around 2 and 3). Every once in a while, one or both or all of them will want to crawl in and we'll all fall asleep watching a movie or something. No big deal. They are only kids once and for such a short time! Enjoy!

I personally haven't experienced these issues but I've babysat for some kids that have had acid reflux. Their mom's tryed all sorts of stuff before they got to medicine for acid reflux. Like someone else said, I'd look into that since he's haveing problems at night.
And with the co-sleeping, try putting a shirt of yours in bed with him or something that has your scent on it. That may help comfort him and he'll feel like you are there in bed with him. Or just let him sleep with you. I use to take naps with my daughter all the time. I loved it! Now she's 2 1/2 and moves around too much, but I still cuddly every chance I get.

My daughter is 8 and she still likes sleeping with me. Her father and I really aren't intimate (his choice). So it's been no problem. On the very rare occasion he and I do want to spend some time together she can and will sleep by herself. We were also like this with our now 18 year old. She was 9 before she really wanted to sleep by herself all the time.

Co-sleeping is really only a problem when people have an active sex life. But even then, by the time they are 3-4 years old they understand when you tell them mommy and daddy want to spend some time alone. Since you are single and your son only has you, you need to put him first and don't even think about men until he is just a little older :)

I second the idea of trying rice milk to see if that helps.

Suzi

Well I can't help you with the gas problems, but my son is 21 m/o and still comes into bed with us quite a bit, especially when my husband is travelling. And actually both he (my son, not my husband!) and I sleep better together, so like you, as long as we get some sleep, I don't really care what other people say! Let's face it, he won't be doing this when he's a teenager or anything, so don't worry about that! And even with sleeping with us, he still gets up in the middle of the night almost every night for a bottle (again, something we are told not to do). Your son is only 13 months, so give him time, and enjoy it! Good luck with the gas stuff though!

My son was very allergic to soy. we actually were giving him soy milk when he was first able to drink milk and come to find out he was allergic to it. once we discovered that and started him on 2% milk he was perfectly fine. Try taking him off soy for a couple of weeks and see if that helps. good luck.

I agree with the others. He may also be allergic to soy. And, if it's not organic soy milk, it's probably genetically modified soy that he's actually drinking, which can mean more problems. If this started when he started solids, it may be other foods he is allergic to as well. Take him to an allergist.

You may also want to talk to a natural healthcare provider or someone at a natural food store about giving him probiotics. Probiotics are the good, healthy bacteria that live in your gut and help with digestion. They are in yogurt, but he may need more than what you can get out of yogurt. I'm guessing that if he's been eating/drinking things that he is allergic too, this could have eliminated some of the good bacteria. I know they make them for kids.

best wishes!

Have you had him tested for food allergies. A good pediatric allergist will be able to help you figure out what is going on. Make sure it is a pediatric allergiest. My son has had a lot of food allergy issues. We have delt with not only sleep issues but behavior issues. When we had him tested and realized he was allergic to almost everything they tested for, we started to realize where the problems lied. We then took him off the foods that he was most allergic to and within one week, it was a remarkable change. He is sleeping through the night and his behavior at school is much better. The doctor said we will have to monitor as he grows but should be able to be normal as long as we watch what he eats.

I let my babies sleep with me when they wanted to, especially my second child because I was just so tired. When they slept on their own, I would lay down with them and snuggle and talk to them at bedtime. To this day, all but my son, who is almost 19, still want me to lay down with them - or they come in my bed and lay down with me for a chat before going to bed. My daughters are ages 13 - 16 and snuggling and talking before bedtime is still wonderful. I think that kind of closeness as a baby helps them stay close as they get older.

If him sleeping in your bed doesn't bother you, and it helps him, by all means just let him sleep with you. He will grow out of it, and if it does start to bother you, he will probably be old enough to understand why you want him in his own bed by that time. There is nothing sweeter than waking up to a warm little baby snoozing next to you. Co-sleeping is the only way this household gets any sleep!

For the gas pains, it could be a soy allergy. My baby is breastfed, but we figured out that he was allergic to the milk in my diet. I tried switching to soy milk, and his symptoms got SO much worse. He was even more sensitive to the soy! I would check with his doctor (for nutrition reasons), but you could try him on rice milk if he's allergic to cow's milk.

Just a thought... he could be allergic to soy. It is actually a common allergy. Talk to your doctor about a good way to find a food allergy. You will need to cut out more than cereal to find a wheat allergy. Wheat is in EVERYTHING! It might be easier to rule out other common allergens. Good luck in your search. You'll find the offender! As for the sleeping, maybe it wouldn't be too bad if he sleeps w/you for a while until he gets back into a pattern of sleeping well through the night. Then you can start by putting him to sleep by himself & when he wakes up, nurse him, rock him or do whatever you do to put him down. Then carefully take him to his crib & repeat the proceedure when he gets up again. You can even ease into how many hours he is in his crib & w/you so it isn't so traumatic for him or you. I would think 8 or more hours of sleep w/him in your bed is better than only 5 hours of sleep w/o you. Don't worry, he won't sleep in your bed forever, just long enough to feel comforted & safe. Do what you feel is right, you have enough on your plate as a single mother, you NEED your rest!

Since this sleep problem started when he started solid food and he has gas, I would say the first place to start is examine what solid foods he is having. Peanuts is a common problem in terms of gas and then other protein foods, also he may not be ready for so much solids and so you may back off some on solids. Oatmeal is oats, it's not wheat and I don't think there's much a problem with gluten in it, but you might check. Rice does not have gluten, so you might preservatives or colors or such in the foods. So check the food thoroughly first. He may be having trouble sleeping alone, which have to cry himself out of that. Or you may have to gradually "wean" him of this. Good luck.
E.

Hi S.,

I have a 5 and 4 year old. For a while there, my husband and I would have both of them in bed with us. My son, the 5 year old stopped when he was about 3, except for the occasional nightmare that would send him to our bed. My daughter, the 4 year old, just stopped sleeping with us a few days before her birthday. I loved sleeping with them because they just want to cuddle all the time. The only thing I didn't like is that they were kickers so I wouldnt get a good sleep but I'm used to only having 4-5 hours of sleep a night. My opinion is that I would let him sleep with you. They are only small for such a short time and it will bring you closer. My kids start off in their bed but in the middle of the night, they would come into bed with me. I can't remember why my son stopped, but with my daughter I told her that she was going to be 4 soon (Oct 28th) and that big girls sleep in their own beds. Before she went to sleep I would tell her to have nice dreams and to stay in her bed. It just happened over night. Since Oct 25th she only came to sleep with me twice. When he is ready, he will sleep by himself. Good luck!

D.

Have you tried Infant Mylicon for gas? I always had some on hand. I had problems with getting my baby to nap. I did all the research & followed many ideas...1. do the same exact routine at bedtime. 2.Hold & rock him the same way, 3.sing the same song, 4.read the same book whatever your nighttime ritual is. Then when he cries leave for a few minutes, but then come back & rub his back but don't pick him up. Leave again a few minutes & come back to reassure him you are there, leaving the lights off rubbing his back again. Don't make eye contact or speak. The first few nights might be really long but the benefits will pay off. You might even find something to make some background noise, a fan, vaporizer etc to keep him from hearing you move about the house. When a baby doesn't get enough sleep it has a snowball effect & he'll end up fighting it & getting wound up etc. Check some books out from the Library by a few different docs & pick the method that you feel comfortable with. Good Luck!

I breastfed my girls, now 12 and 8, so the only way I got sleep was to bring them to bed with me and feed them. They got in the habit and until they were 5 and 2 they both slept with my husband and I almost all of the time. That may seem like a long time but looking bad it wasn't that bad, except that we had to be a little creative to find mommy and daddy time. (We find the middle of the afternoon on the weekends when the kids are distracted is more fun anyway.) I eventually got them to sleep in their own beds when they were old enough to enjoy a bedtime story. I put them in bed, read a story, then spent about ten to fifteen minutes sitting by the beds reading the Bible out loud to them. They would fall right to sleep. Hope that doesn't sound awful but it is a little difficult for kids to understand. Anyway, I probably only did this for maybe 6 months then I could read them a story and they would fall asleep on their own. My point is when they get older, if you can establish something regular and comforting for them they will learn to sleep on their own. If you enjoy having him in bed with you don't sweat it. They are little for such a short time. By the way, when my husband is out of town my girls still end up in bed with me a lot and I love it and they go right back to their beds when he comes home.

I am not sure of his sleeping issues. Just wanted to share my experience. My first born, she is now 8yrs. old, had health concerns as an infant. Like you, and probably many others, she would sleep with me to keep an eye on her. Well, it took what seemed like 5-6 long years to get her back in her own bed for the entire night. We did it gradually, her sleeping on my bedroom floor in a sleeping bag, then to the living room, then in her room with me sleeping on the floor for about an hour and returning to my room-whew! She liked the close proximity I think. Anyway, fast forward to 3 years later. Those years were SO fast and I sometimes even miss them. I was a strong advocate against co-sleeping until I had my own. I thought it was rediculous. However, some kids just need extra support I think. My daughter is a healthy normal girl who goes to bed just fine on her own now. In addition, my son who is 3 years old, has NEVER slept in my bed. He only wants his and that is fine with me.lol.
Best of luck-our children are young for such a short time and we only want what is best for them. I would think if it was a food issue, he would be fussy no matter where you try to put him down for bed? Who knows-sorry I can not help with that.
E.

I think you are on the right track that the sleeping is a symptom not the problem. You need to get your babe into an allergist that knows food allergies and sensitivities. My kids were mildly allergic to cows milk and soy. Their waking at night was related to when the milk had left their system. My grandson did not appear to be allergic to milk and his dad didn't think it would bother him because his side of the family had no allergies to it, but at the age of four my grandson started having sleep problems for several weeks. My daughter took him off milk, He slept 17 hours straight the first night and now is doing much better. Good luck you both need to rest!!

I agree with the other Moms. It sounds like an allergy. Also, by all means co-sleep with your son. He will learn to sleep on his own in his own time. My youngest was four years and four months old before he chose on his own to sleep by himself. He is the easiest to put to bed at night now and sleeps better than my other three who we tried "crying it out" for a night or two when they were three! Hang in there!

Have you considered that he might have acid reflux? If it mostly happens at night, that might be it-- when they lie down, their stomach acid can come up. Please look into this-- there are lots of things you can do to help him such as putting his bed on a slight incline (we put thick telephone books under one end of my daughter's bed), making sure he doesn't eat too close to bedtime, etc. What REALLY helped my daughter was Zantac for babies (your Dr. will have to prescribe). Look online or at the library (I read up on this in "The Baby Book" by Dr. William Sears) to see what the symptoms are and if they are similar to what your baby is experiencing, ask his doctor (and try some of the non-medication ways to deal with it as well).

And don't stress out about the co-sleeping thing. It's going to be difficult whether you do it now or later, and you might actually have better luck later, once you are able to "reason" with him. Good luck!

The one thing I can think of is to try a warm pack (like one uses for sore neck you put it in the microwave and heat, but not to hot as it holds heat for some time.) Then he can cuddle with it and feel the heat. He may think the heat is from your body next to him. Also if he has gas the warmth will help pass the gas.

Good luck
D.

First off, if you don't mind the co-sleeping then don't stop it but you definitely will have a harder time the older he gets. You will also definitely have several nights of crying, etc... when you are trying to wean him from sleeping with you. Question, is he still in the same room with you? If so, it will probably be very difficult as he can see you sleeping in your bed - not sure if it is worth it until he's in his own room. Are you sure it's gas pains if the Dr can't figure it out? If he doesn't cry except for when you are trying to get him to stay in his crib it probably isn't gas pains. Don't worry about him being lonely, etc.. when you are trying to get him to sleep alone - it will not affect him forever - in fact it will be better for him in the long run.

Good luck!

I agree with the other posters. It might be an allergy to soy. There are so many other milks you can try. My son drinks rice milk and almond milk. My sister's kids like oat milk. She also is going to try hazelnut milk. Just make sure you give your son protein from other sources, because these milks don't really have much in them. My son really loves any kind of beans. That is how he gets protein. Keep co-sleeping! It is good for your son emotionally. Good luck to you!