Advice on Leaving Child While We Go on Vacation?

When my sons were 7 and 5 ( I know a little older) my husband and I took a 7 day cruise. They stayed with neighbors who had two boys about that age. I made little "treat" bags for each day...lunch sack with little toys, candy, etc. My neighbor gave them a bag a day (I marked the day on the bags). I tried to make the treat to go along with what we were doing on the cruise...little toy fishes for snorkeling, water guns (small) for swimming, etc. They LOVED them and didn't want us to come home because they wanted more bags. I don't know if it would work for the two year old but thought I would suggest it.

When my husband and I go on vacation I always send my girls a postcard the first day we get there to make sure they receive it before we get home. They love to get mail and it gives them something to look forward to. I am sure she will be fine and you will have a great time. Best wishes.

One piece of advice that I was given when my husband and I left our 2 yo dtr for a few days with my parents was to make a little book for her ahead of time. (Just make it from folded in half paper that is stapled together) and make it a little story book of sorts about the trip. Maybe picture of an airplane and maybe something about the place you are going. And then maybe a picture of her and her grandmother and other pictures or stories about what will happen while you are gone. And then also maybe leave something with her of yours that will comfort her. As far as the phone calls...I would talk with your mom about it. Maybe you can call home after whatever period of time you feel comfortable when your daughter is asleep and get an idea of how she is doing and determine if a phone call will be the right thing, and maybe when. I would advise you let your Mom take charge of the communication-call you if there is a problem, so hopefully you can relax and enjoy your time away with your husband. It will be alright!!!

That clinginess is part of her development. Kids go through an abandonment fear around that time. I'm sure that once you're out the door she's fine. She's just trying to put on a show for you in an attempt to control your leaving. If she's comfortable with your parents, she'll be fine while you're on vacation.

hi C.,
be aware that a two year is in a natural, "clingy", need parent state. if you have to go without her, you may want to work on spending more time with her before you go. practice leaving the room and coming back, sort of things so that she is assured that "you will return". this is the stage for abandonment issues. "they" don't tell you until later that everything a child learns is before they turn 3. the biggest thing for this age is to practice leaving and returning , both you and your husband. help her to feel secure at the time that she naturally will not.
i like the emailing pictures idea.

My husband and I left our 3 kids for an extended weekend trip a few years ago when my kids were 14 months, 3 and 9. They were fine, they love going to my moms, so I had no worries. I felt worse leaving them..it's the guilt thing.......anyway, what if you had small packages containing a small surprise for everyday you were gone, that will give her something to look forward to each day and maybe it won't seem so bad. Then when you return you can give her the souveniers you brought back for her. As much as you will want to talk to her on the phone while, make sure she's settled and won't get upset while hearing your voice. Hope this helps. Have a great trip. Try not to dwell on it when you are away, enjoy yourself so you can come back relaxed and refreshed.

i can tell you that my hubby showed up unannounced at my son's (21 m) daycare friday, which i was surprised and a bit dismayed at...but the sitter said they had a good cuddle, lots of hugs, a bit of tickling, and when daddy left, my son was a-ok. wierd! i figured he'd have had a huge fit. sometimes they surprise us! i would definitely get her used to "i'll be right back!" or "see you soon!" or another phrase when you're leaving to tell her you'll come back, that helps with my son. also i might leave a picture of yourself behind for in case it gets tough for her.

another thing to keep in mind is that two year olds don't feel/see/understand time the way we do - if she's used to staying the night at grandma's, it shouldn't be hard for her. my son stays the night at grandma's about every other weekend, sometimes more, and when my sitter was off a couple weeks ago my mom took him for three nights, and he was fine. VERY happy to see us when we picked him up, but fine!

you didn't mention how long the trip was, so more than a few nights, i couldn't tell ya. but just keep a good attitude when leaving her, reassure her you'll be back, and that's about all you can do. don't stress out about it or be all keyed up when you drop her off or she'll pick up on that and it'll be much worse.

good luck and have a good trip!

2 year olds go through the seperation anxiety phase again. The best thing to do is to drop her off and leave. If you make a big deal out of it, it will only get worse. I run a small inhome daycare and I am constantly dealing with this when my parents are dropping off their kiddos - who have all hit the wonderful age of 2. :) It is my favorite age but it can be trying at times. I would try maybe dropping her off the night before you leave, and checking in on her periodically. Phone calls will not hurt and even emailing pictures would probably be fun for her and something for her to look forward to each day. Maybe give it a trial run before you go on vacation. Not for a weeek but for a couple days if you mom is willing. My kids have spent the night at grandmas since they were about 15 months old and even now will leave me for days at a time. They would stay all summer if I would let them! Good luck to you and I hope everything goes well!

Good Morning C., phone calls definitely would help her and you alot. If you didn't she may think you weren't coming back. Call in the evenings after dinner or a little bit before bedtime. Ask what fun things she is doing with grams.
If you both have web cams that would be super also.

As far as the clinging to you, its pretty normal. I also watch our two youngest gr son's ( 3 y/o & 8 mo ) during the day. Most days recently it is ok, maybe a couple of times a week the eldest will say he doesn't want momma to go make the bacon, and get whiny & stubborn. Then he doesn't want to go home when they come to get them. It's part of a childs Job description, I believe lol

She will be fine and you have a great alone time with hubby
Lucky Yooooooooooooooou
K. nana of 5

My kids were toddlers the first time I had to leave on a business trip and I was far more wrecked than they were! I sent postcards and included drawings in the writing. Like, here's the plane I flew on and drew an airplane. That way, when dad was reading the postcard to them, they could, in effect, read it too. I also wrote about the picture on the other side, here is what I see out my window. That made it all mean something. We still have those postcards - found them while cleaning! I'm sure I called every day as well (this was years ago!) The important thing it to keep it positive in front of your kids - point out how great it's going to be at grandma's, that you'll write letters, and you'll bring something back for them. I think emailing is fine.

Also, don't overdo it. Time alone with grandparents can be a wonderful thing for both your child and the grandparents. Too much parental intervention can wreck an opportunity for your child to develop a little independence and a special attachment to grandparents. My son stayed a week with grandma when he was 5 and it completely changed his life. He went from being overly shy and clingy to being more self confident and outgoing. I truly believe that he discovered that other adults can love and care for him as much as mommy. Also, grandma took him places he'd never been before (this is where he discovered a love of museums) and his world seemed to open up.

Give your daughter a phone call and talk to her. Then when you call again ask how she reacted after the first call and if was not good then you know not to talk to her for a few days. Email her too with pictures and do the same thing, if she doesn't react well then you know not to do that again.

We would leave our kiddos with the grandparents when we would leave town and we would call once or twice. They usually were having a ton of fun and didn't want to talk long.

Your daughter may have heard you talking about your trip to your mom and may think that any of these times you'll leave her you won't be back that day. Make sure you make a big deal about how much fun she is going to have with grandma the day you leave. We never told our girls we were leaving on vacation, with or without them, until the day we were leaving. That way they didn't make themselves sick with excitement or not sleep that night. It was fun to surprise them and say, hey we are leaving for grandmas today (now they live 10 hours away) when they were little.
Good luck and God Bless.

First of all, I hope you have a great time on your vacation. Second, your daughter will be fine in your absence.

Two year olds are interesting people. As you well know, they are changing back and forth from needing you and wanting nothing to do with you. That's what makes your situation tricky. Phone calls, emails, notes may be great, or they may trigger her clinginess. You may want your mom to make the call. If your daughter is going along fine and not "missing" you, I wouldn't call. If you mom thinks a word from you would help, have her call you or give your daughter a pre-written note. It may turn out that for a couple of days, nothing would be best, other days she may need to hear from you. Play it by ear.

Have fun!

Phone calls and pictures would be great, I think.
After calling her, speak with your mother and ask what your child's reaction has been after your phone call. That way you will know by what Mom tells you if it is helping, or making things worse.
I think for the most part, it will help, though.
For my granddaughter, my daughter sends her own pillow (my daughter's pillow I mean) with her, so when we put her to bed at night, we put mommy's pillow next to her (lengthwise) and tell her "OK, this is pretend Mommy here to sleep with you tonight." She giggles and thinks it's real funny, and sometimes even makes me kiss "Pretend Mommy" goodnight, and tuck her in, but then she throws her arm over the pillow and snuggles off to sleep with a smile.
You could also record some of your favorite stories and/or songs for your mother to play for her when she gets lonely.
I think all will be well, though. My friend recently babysat her 3 year old grandson for a week while Mommy went on her honeymoon. She called every day and spoke to the little guy, and I brought my granddaughter over for playdates a couple of times to keep him occupied. He and his Grandma did just fine all week.
Best wishes !!

Hey C.:

I think it would be a really good idea to record some of your bedtime routines like stories, prayers, etc. The calls wouldn't hurt either but if you want your phone bills to be outragous because you stay on the phone till she goes to sleep, I would recomend the recordings.

Good Luck,
M.

My son is the same way about being left on a daily basis, so when we have left him with his grandparents for longer vacations (2 to 4 nights) we have grandma check in with us rather than us call him. She lets us know how he is feeling and calls us when it doesn't interrupt their fun. He has generally been terrific despite my fears, but expect lots of extra kisses/hugs from your daughter when you get back!
If you usually check in on her via phone during the day, I wouldn't ditch the routine but my son doesn't currently talk on the phone.

I wouldn't send pics. At this age you can change their direction pretty easily. But I think the pictures will just be like immediate pain. It will be hard for you too. When I was married we went on one vacation and my 3 yr old put his teddy bear in our bag. :(

Just try to put it out of your mind and enjoy your trip. You need it age 3 is right around the corner.

We left our 3 yr old little girl with my mom for a week last yr, when she was two, for the first time while we went on vacation and we had very good luck with calling her everynight shortly before bedtime to say hi, see how her day went, and to tell her good night. That also allowed us to reassure her that we would be home soon and that we had not forgotten about her while we were gone. Good luck!

hi C....i just left my son for the first time in may for 5 days. he goes to my mom on a daily basis and has been very clingy to me for about the last 3-4 months...not bad, but more than normal. i was sooooooooo worried about leaving him. i called every night before he went to bed and he told me that he was busy and had to get off the phone. i think i worried myself to pieces, but he didn't care cuz he was having fun. as long as grandma and your daughter have a fun and busy time...i'm 100% sure she'll be fine! you can send pics, but i'm sure she'll be fine. she will definitely be happy when you get home though. my son was and i showed him pics after i got back instead of while i was gone. good luck to you...but please...don't worry as much as i did. you need to enjoy your vacation!!

When I worked with toddlers in a child care setting, we had a little girl who was generally very happy, but about 2 wks after being left with her grandparents (who lived out of town and she didn't see often), she would have screaming and crying fits for no apparent reason. we finally figured out that it must have had something to do with separation anxiety after being left. The thing that helped the most was that we asked her parents for a few pictures of mom, dad, and them together as a family and laminated them. We let her carry them around and look at them whenever she wanted, she even took her nap with them. We talked about mom and dad a lot. This really seemed to help her. Just an idea.

C.,

When my husband and I had to leave the kids I packed a gift to be opened every day we were gone. Just little stuff: a picture of Mom and Dad one day, a new coloring book with markers, a new book for Grandmom to read, etc..
All of the stuff camme from the dollar store.
We did not call and talk to the two year old, this caused lots of tears, we called the adults during nap.
Have a great time and you will be refreshed to spend time with your daughter.

You have already gotten some good advice but I had a thought while I was reading. Maybe you could get a Teddy Bear or Doll size t-shirt made with a picture of mommy and daddy on it and put it on her favorite lovey so that she can have it at Grandma's house and have something to squeeze everytime she misses you. If she is confortable with Grandma, I wouldn't worry too much about her. She will probably be fine and the everyday drama and clinginess, as someone else said, is most liking just a stage.