Advice on How to Get My 10 Mo. Old to Sleep Through the Night

Hey have you tried the No Cry Sleep Solution? (it's a book), it takes a little longer than other methods. But basically you stay in the room when they are upset and soothe them and move away a little each time. It gives the message you are still there and care, I thought it was a very loving approach

Read Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Child by DR. Marc Weissbluth. I got it from ebay for like 10 bucks. My sons doctor at childrens hospital told me to get it, and as of eight months old he was sleeping thru the night. I don't have other kids in the house so that part was easy, but the book touches on that as well. It should help.

Sounds like a tough situation. I did not personally have this problem but I have heard of many who have. If you keep responding to the baby's night time cries with nursing, of course the baby is going to expect it the next night. But I feel this short-changes your other children and your husband because you don't have much left over to give them if you are up all night with the baby.
Would it be possible for you to send your older kids to visit with grandparents a few nights (like, 3)? Then you wouldn't have to worry about them being woken up. Then I recommend YOU if possible sleep somewhere else where you won't hear him crying. (for me, it would be downstairs in the living room.) It's MUCH more stressful for a mother to hear her baby cry than for a father. Let the father let the baby cry it out but perhaps go in every 30 minutes (or not!)and soothe for a few minutes and then put back down (if they fall asleep in the fathers arms, then the baby will be trained to "need" that! You want him to get experience going to sleep by himself in his crib.) This of course will take an investment on everyone's part, but if you don't take drastic measures, you could very well be looking at another 2+ years of this. On the other hand, if you have two older kids, you must have already had some experiences to teach you in this arena.

My now 6 year old daughter was exactly the same way and I drove myself crazy trying everything to get her to sleep through the night with no success. Eventually, I learned that there is nothing you can do to force some babies to sleep all night long if they don't want to. The problem is that everyone wakes up many many times throughout the night. While we just roll over and go back to sleep, your baby is deciding to snack before falling asleep.

The biggest reason why a baby would insist on a snack first is if you are nursing him to sleep. If you are, then you would need to be sure that you never let him fall asleep nursing. As a transition from nursing 4-6 times a night to sleeping through the night, you could offer other soothing things instead of the breast, but still respond to baby. Try offering a bottle of warm water, rocking, or any other soothing ritual. Eventually, you will need to wean him of that too, but it can be a great stepping stone. If he refuses to be comforted by anything but nursing, you may need hubby to step in and take over. Sometimes it is just too hard for them when your breast are so close and you are refusing them.

Good luck... also, just know that whenever you decide to give up nursing altogether (not that you need to be in a rush), he will naturally stop calling you in the night.

Does he sleep in a crib? (I am assuming so.)

My daughter was also up that often until 9 or 10 months. What really seemed to help the most was showing her that she could sit up and turn on her crib toy at night, then telling her like 10 times a day that if she woke up at night, she should turn on her toy and go back to sleep. (We had a Fisher Price Aquarium toy that has lights and bubbles and moving fish in it when you turn it on.) I was surprised but it really seemed to help her go back to sleep on her own sometimes.

My other suggestion would sending in your husband a couple times a night. See if he can sooth her back to sleep. To be honest that didn't work well with my daughter at that age -- it took a few months before she'd tolerate having daddy show up.

I personally wouldn't shoot for sleeping entirely through the night all in one go. I would aim for getting down to 2-3 nursing sessions a night to start with.

Let him cry it out! I have three kids, did it with all of them. It's the best and the fastest way to do it. I have a 7 month old that I did it with last month and she is sleeping through the night. Some kids take a little longer than others (the stubborn ones). My first took 1 night of crying, my son took 3 nights (first night he cried for 2 hours 45 minutes) and my youngest took 2 nights. I would first reduce to getting up with him ONE time a night. Once he's on that routine, then go to making him go all night. Babies need to learn how to put themselves to sleep or he'll be waking up like that needing you till he's a big kid. Mommies can't be good mommies unless they get a good nights sleep! Don't feel guilty, you're doing a good thing for your son and for you. As far as waking up everyone in the house, I think you'll be suprised how well everyone will sleep through it. If not, just tell everyone to be prepared, baby may be crying at night this week. My husband and I even used earplugs when we did this with my son! Good luck.

i'll second (or third) the Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child book. it gives you some solid medical reasons that crying it out works and how important it is for kids and adults to get the sleep that they need. :)

my daughter was doing the same thing, from 6 months to 10 months, and i was slowly losing my mind. by that time, i wasn't able to do any of the more soothing methods...i couldn't focus or concentrate on anything anymore...i was a walking zombie!

it took us 2 nights. we turned down the baby monitor and watched a movie (checking every once in a while). it was too brutal to listen to her cry!

ahyhow, good luck with whatever you decide to do. :)

It is so hard to imagine making it through stages like this, isn't it? What I have found that works well for us, especially with babies who are nursing, is to just have them sleep with us, right next to me. This makes it so easy to nurse and we both fall asleep quickly. He is happy to nurse, and I don't have to get up out of a warm bed to sit up and feed him. So, even on nights that he is waking to nurse several times, I am not having to arouse fully, but just help him latch on and we both go to sleep. Everyone is happier! More than anything, he is so content to be where he feels safest--next to Mommy.

Also, could he teething? Perhaps he is waking up more because of sore gums? I recommend the Hyland's brand of either teething tablets or each of the chamomilla (helps rest from irritability) and belladonna (helps with pain and inflammation). They really helped our kids a bunch without pumping them full of drugs. :-)
Best wishes to you, T.!

Oh T....you must be so tired! Virtual hugs to you first of all....

Second of all...crying it out is the only thing that ever worked for us. Do you have family or friends around that could take your other kids for a weekend?

My now 8 year old went through this at 6 mos. She would "lose" her binky and I would literally just run down the hall 5-6 times per night and shove it back in her mouth because I was too tired to deal with it. Finally I decided enough was enough. My pediatrician promised me it would only take 3 nights to fix the problem. The first night she cried for 3 hours straight. I sat outside her door crying myself. It was the hardest night of my life. The 2nd night...she cried for abou 90 minutes. The 3rd night about 30 minutes and the 4th night maybe about 10 minutes and that was it. She has slept fine at night ever since and now it's 8 years later.

I also have a 4 year old and I remember just starting off that way with her so that it didn't get so bad and she has always been a good sleeper.

Now, I will tell you, this is not easy. Honestly, it's the hardest thing I ever done as a mom I think. But, I literally was at rock bottom w/my own sleep deprivation and it really was worth it.

Good luck T.! I'd be happy to bring you a Starbucks the morning(s) after if you need one! ;)

L.

P.S. I'm a sahm to 8 and 5 year old girls.

If you are breastfeeding...that would probably be part of the reason why your baby won't sleep through the night. Breastmilk is a wonderful source of vitamins and nutrients your baby needs, but just isn't filling. Is the baby eating solids now? Also, you could try cereal in baby's bottle before bedtime. You could also try cutting down on nap times that baby has during the day. It's not fun for baby or you for a short time, but baby will get used to it and eventually learn to sleep through the night. Just some suggestions. Hope this helps. Good luck! :D ~B.

I recently went through this with my 6-month-old. He was nursing so much at night it felt like he was a newborn again!

A lactation consultant told me that when a baby is working on new skills (sitting, crawling, walking, babbling, etc.) that the night-time nurisng helps balance out all the activity in the brain. Nursing acts as a "home base" for them to sort out all the new skills they are working on. She encouraged me to stick with it and now he is sleeping more.

You could do behavior trainig on a 10-month-old and cut him off at night, but you would have a very rough couple nights. Plus, once he went through a new skill-learning cycle, the nursing would probably kick up again (because his brain needs it) and you would have to start over again with "cutting him off."

I hope you find a solution that works for you and your kiddo. I would encourage you to hang in there. That said, I know how hard it can be :)

Good luck!

Hi T., I'm a mother of 3 as well ages 8yrs.,5yrs. and a 5month old baby. It does make it more challenging when you have other kids and they could easily wake up. However, as you said if you don't get rest you will be miserable & can't be any good for anybody in your family including yourself. I would suggest that you get BABY WISE, it is a great book on how to gradually get your baby to sleep through the night. I used it with my first born and it was extremely helpful to me. Your ten month old needs to learn how to self-sooth to go back to sleep on his own. If you have already fed him before going to bed like 9:-11:pm bed time, then he should sleep at least 6-9 hrs. straight. Does your baby take a pacifier? Does he suck his thumb? All of these can help him self-sooth. I believe he is using you as a human pacifier and has gotten use to it for all these months because he knows you will come. He could be teething as well but still waking up that often is too much & not just teething but he also has been using you for comfort. It will not be easy to break that habit but you will have to be consistant to retrain him with his comfort habits & to teach him to self-sooth back to sleep. Try to see if temporarily he can sleep in a different room away from the other kids so he does not disturb them. Then when he does awake do not run to him immediately wait 5 min. or 10 min. whatever you can handle the 1st night. Each consecutive night add another 5 minutes to the night before. Keep this pattern going for a weeks time. Try not to pick him up out of crib all the time give him his pacifier or finger to suck and gently stroke his head as he lays down in his crib. I found when I stuck to this process of retraining my baby with new habits it usually took only 3-5 days of consistant training but it was successful and later they were sleeping through the night. The key was for me to be consistant with the routine of adding 5 more minutes each night until they were able to learn the new sleeping pattern. It will be hard because they will cry some but remember they are safe in their crib, their diaper has been changed and they have already been fed so if they are not sick then most likely they just need to learn better habits on how to self-sooth to go back to sleep. Consider also maybe giving him formula at night before going to bed so that he will sleep longer because it takes longer to digest than breast milk and you can mix it with your own breast milk. Hang in there & just give it a try. Remember BABY WISE book because I highly recommend it. God Bless, O. O.

My recommendation is to start adding Rice cereal to a bottle at bedtime. It will hold your baby over through the night. Good luck.

You have my empathy--that's a tough one. My son woke up at least every 2 hours every night to nurse until he was one. We tried almost every sleep expert's advise (2 week trials of each reasonable method starting at about 8 months). At age one I snapped, I was exhausted and had other health issues that were exacerbated by the lack of solid sleep...so we weaned him. Weaning him required bright lights in the middle of the night and cold packs filled with yogurt by the bed (we co-slept). There was hardly any crying. Almost instantly it he started to sleep 5 hour stretches, sometimes 7 hours. Whatever you decide to do--good luck!

My daughter was EXACTLY the same (except 9 mos.). I don't know if there's a right or wrong way, but the ONLY way that worked for us was to let her "cry it out" (we did try other things). She got the point after only one night of crying (and she only cried for about a half hour). Best of luck, I know how trying it can be!

It's not a food thing.. it's a comfort thing. Does he fall asleep on his own for naps? That's a good way to start too.

Is your ten month old eating any solids? If not this may be the problem. At the daycare where I work we start feeding our babies as early as possible per advice of our health nurse. Even if babies don't have teeth we still start them on soft pick up foods. This may help tide your tyke over.

you can try getting him to eat more during the day, sometimes if they meet or exceed thier caloric need during the day, they won't be hungry at night. This never worked with my babies, but it did for a friend of mine.

I think the real question is if you baby is really eating or quickly falling back to sleep once you start nursing. If it's a hunger thing you should start feeding some filling foods just before bed time. Then I agree with the other moms - let him cry it out! It will only last a few nights. You will be surprised that your other children will probably not even notice. And if they do, they will likely fall back to sleep quickly. You have got to some sleep!

Well, i stopped breastfeeding my son at 3 months when i had to go back to work full time. I do regret this decsion. I never had problems getting him to sleep through the night, not even when he was breastfeeding. But we didnt sleep in the same bed and i think that actually was positive for us. Making the last feeding before bed a really solid, hearty feeding helped too(instead of a lot of little ones right before bed). Also, after i fed him at night we would rock or sing, read a book, or take a warm bath before i actually would lay him down and i think that helped his tummy settle a little. When he would wake up in the middle of the night i would give him a minute and see if he would go back to sleep, sometimes he would really start crying so them i would try other things besides feeding to console him first. I didnt want him to think he had to eat if he woke up upset or needing some love and security from me. It's tough though, i remember and it's draining. Try something new and stick to it so it becomes consistent for both of you. Good luck.

Another thing that my son loved was the sound of running water....the sink, bath or shower;)

Hi T., If you are not adverse to using homeopathics Hylands have a FANTASTIC instantly dissolvable tablet called "Calms Forte 4 Kids". You just place the tabs on your baby's tongue and it dissolves pretty much instantly - I always just kept my finger on it just to be sure. Two tabs every fifteen minutes for an hour. Worked like a charm for my boys. Hylands also make a great teething tab in similar form to this that really helps calm the pain of teeth coming in. I get Hylands products from Wholefoods or regular health food stores.

Hi T., my name is K. and i have a four year old daughter, olivia, whom i nursed for sixteen months. See too would nurse every two-three hours for the first nine months day and night. I loved nursing but dreaded nighttime because i knew i would be up at least three times and needed to function in the morning. I didn't believe in crying it out but, there came a point when i knew olivia would continue to want to eat every two-three hours if i didn't change our routine. One night i decided okay nights the night, we are changing our routine. When she woke at 1-2am i let her cry for for 5-10 min. Came in picked her up (because i never let her cry more than a few moments and i was in tears by this time) cuddled her then put her back in her crib.she cried again for a few minutes then feel asleep. She woke again at 4am, i nursed her then immediately put her back in her crib. I eliminated the first night-time nursing for that entire week. After i saw she learned to comfort herself (which was probably why she wanted me in the evening-for comfort) i cut out the second night-time nursing the following week. Once i saw that she could do without the two night-time feedings i eliminated the third feeding. The entire process took about a month. Next thing i knew my baby and i were sleeping soundly through the night (well 10pm-6am) good luck T.! K.

T.,
I nursed one child 6 months and she quit on her own, the other for a year and a half and I had to fight to get him to stop. I refused to be up all night feeding so I would pump a bottle's worth of breast milk in the day and before bed time I would heat it up with just a little powdered rice cereal.. thin enough that it would still run through the bottle nipple. This gave me 6-7 hours of peace... fill him up and he slept soundly. My first was on formula, not breast feeding but the rice cereal in the last bottle at night also worked for her... she slept more like 8 hours. Remember they are growing and they may need more that what our bodies are providing.
Good luck and Good Sleep.
S.

Been there, done that. Here's what I tried: getting up, patting the baby, snuggle her in and leave.
Try the cry-out on a Friday and Saturday night when family can sleep in or nap the next day.
Give a bottle of warm water.
Check for allergies--my son had them. Incredible as it sounds, babies can be allergic to breast milk.
Might be time for a bedtime mix of milk and cereal to stave off hunger till morning.
Dearly hope this works for you! Grandma S.

T.,

This is very tough but I would try to stimulate him a lot during the day. Do you have a nightime routine? Make sure not to talk or play with him during the night. Do minimal interactions so he can get the message that nighttime is for sleeping. Also, if you feed on cue you might want to breastfeed on a schedule for a little bit, every 3 hours to make sure he is getting "tanked up" during the day. As babies get older they do get more alert during the day but get distracted and forget to feed. They make up for this at night. So, make sure he is getting fed timely during the day. I would also look at how much he is napping during the day. I hope this helps!

Is he eating a lot of solids throughout the day? I found that once I increased the calories my baby was getting throughout the day, he slept through the night. He was waking because he really was hungry, so this helped that.

Also, do you put him in bed awake, or do you nurse/rock him to sleep? I found that putting my son to bed awake would help him to learn to fall asleep on his own (meaning, if he wakes up in the middle of the night, he won't wonder why he's not being rocked back to sleep, because he is used to falling asleep on his own in the crib).

Good luck! :)

T.-
I have no advice other than the No Cry Sleep Solution book, which we are reading and implementing in micro steps right now, and my sone is 15.5 months and wakes 4-6 times a night in 2 hour increments to nurse...I of course am exhausted and at about 13 months my husband stepped in for the first 4-6 hours of the night, so I could et some much needed rest. I just want you to know you are not alone. Not everyone's children sleep 8-12 hours at a stretch. We did just switch him from two naps a day to one, and it seems to have increased his first period of sleep from 1-4 hours longer than the usual 2 hours - which is a great relief. This won't last forever ... M.

1. Do NOT let him ever fall alseep on the breast. I made this huge mistake with my son and it made him think that any time he woke up he needed a boob to get to sleep again.

2. Rotate your nursing nities and leave the smelliest with him. A soft milk smelling piece that he can snuggle to will help him feel that Mom is there even when she isn't.

3. Don't let him take long naps (even at daycare, if he has it). You can't get him sleeping through unless he is a least as tired as you are! You may be tempted to have him nap so that you can, but take my word for it, you need night rest more.

4. Recognize that there is no "quick" fix, but it will be better soon and the "Mommy undewrground" supports you

Have you started him on cereal yet? It was what helped with my two boys! At the last feeding late at night I fed them cereal and they slept thru the night happily ever after! talk to your son's dr. first! See if he or she agrees! If your wondering about my experience other than being a Mom I am also a retired LVN/LPN who worked Newborn Nursery and Pediatrics for over 15 years! D.

All eight of our children slept in bed with us... my husband brings them to me the first time they wake up, and the baby stays with us, nursing as he/she needs, and we all continue sleeing.

Eventually, each child has wanted their own bed, through the night, and has stopped the night nursings.

My last baby, now age 16+ months, finally has slept through the night, without waking at all, just this past week.

It really helps that I don't have to get up, go find the baby, and sit up while nursing... we all just sleep together, cozily.

The Baby Wisperer is a great book representing a middle of the road appoach to sleep and daily routine. I had a similar problem with my 6 mo and it worked a charm. I do not follow the guidelines so closely any more, it was just very helpful to break old bad habits. And I wouldn't recommend crying it out either, I have found that it causes more problems than it solves. It might not even work as we found with our daughter after several nights of 4+ hours of crying which took weeks after to undo the damage we had done.

I am not however judging others for doing so, if it works for your kid, go for it.

Good luck T.!

I recommend you read the book Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child by Marc Weissbluth M.D. You might be surprise by the results after letting your baby cry for a few nights. In his book he recommmends to have a sleeping schedule for your baby for naps and night time. It had worked wonders for my 9 month old, he's not only sleeping well he is also so much happier. Good Luck!

G., Mother of 9 month old Benjamin.

I had the same problem for a while until we made a few changes in her routine. First we got into the routine of giving her a nightly bath before bed. Then we would give her an 8 oz bottle of formula to tide her over for the night. Then we would put her down for the night. Bath, bottle, bed really worked for us. We also have a humidifier in her room so the white noise of that also helps. After the bottle before bed really worked for us we would push the bottle time back little by little until we didn't need to give it before bed anymore. I hope this will work for you too. J.

Well are you feeding him solids during the day? it may be that you need to increase the amount you feed him during the day.

I totally suggest reading the book called Baby Wise by Gary Ezzo. It changed our lives forever on the subject of teaching our babies how to sleep well both during the day and night. I discovered from a relative when my fourth child was born. I used it's methods with her and her sister who soon followed after and WOW! It worked so good, I wished I had known about it sooner. You can get this book from your local library. Good luck and keep up your good work.

Hello T.,
My name is S.. I am the a mother of now a 24 and 18 year old. My boys did the same to me! Now at 53 I still don't get the best of sleep for worring abot their woes.
They can still get frustrated,loose sleep by not accompishing what they know they are capable of and take out their ego trips on mom & dad still. Oh but when they are "in-the-zone" they really shine! We are so proud or them.
As babies what got them sleeping through the night and becoming happier, more content babies was when they started walking! Luckily at a relatively earlier stage than normal.
My point is we all go through stages in our lives when we are feeling fulfilled, enthusiastic about life and generally have plenty of energy go out & get what we want accomplished. We can live, work, play AND sleep better too! Then there are those times ... feeling depressed and frustrated with life around us, the world is not supporting the ego self etc.
Adults really are just grown up babies and I really don't mean that in a bad way. We simply need to be loved and feel worthwhile.
Perhaps your little guy is not geting enough activity during the day to exersise his little legs. My guys really loved their Johnny Jumper and the rolling play chair. Thats what got there legs really pumping and coordnated. I also massaged their feet and legs and did resistance exersises with them and let them go barefooted a lot. Also a nice soothing massage with warm grapeseed or olive oil NOT baby oil, (its petrolium based)with nice clasical music playing like Motzart or Bach & hum to the music while you massage him. Then if baby boy still wakes up plan B is the one my husband took charge of. He would walk with them outside into the fresh night air around the entire perimeter of our property. He'd say in a low soft voice, "son, it's time to secure the perimeter, and I need your help" He would say that the 'men' needed to protect the women in the fort like soldiers or Indian Braves in a tribe. He also talked about the stars in the night sky. This only took about 10 minutes sometimes less, but boy it really did the trick! This also worked well in the daytime if the boys were having a temper tantrum. Getting out into nature does that for us adults too you know!
Wow I'm like a grandma going on and on ... traditions are past on this way though ... something that we are missing out on these days too often.
I sicerely hope this helps you my dear.
Blessings, S. B. (Massage Therapist for 20 years:)

I would recommend not feeding him every time he wakes up. Try rocking him, rubbing his back, or otherwise soothing him so he is not dependant on you feeding him to fall back to sleep. It is likely he is just re-adjusting and it is waking him up and so he cries out for you.
Another note: turn a fan on in your other kid's rooms to help drown out the sound.
Best Wishes!