Advice on Another Mom at My Son's Daycare...

well,
It doesn't sound to me that she was trying to teach your son anything. what was he supposed to learn "he'll get hit if he doesn't get away from her?" or "it's his fault if she hits him?"

You daycare provider should have every child occupied with an activity at arrival time so they can learn to greet their friend (say Hi) and continue with their project without having to touch/hug or "get in each others aura".

You should talk to your daycare provider to see what other suggestions she has.

arrival and departure times should be calm and stress free for children (and parents)
hope this helps

I would first privately approach the daycare provider and ask her about the personal spaces of the children, and how she handles it. Let her know that this woman's reactions have you irked a bit, and you're concerned that she appears to be nitpicking about the children sharing space and touching each other. Let HER handle it. If it continues, then perhaps you could "innocently" bring it up between the three of you adults, perhaps by saying something like "The children really enjoy each other's company, but it seems to bother you. Are there any issues I should be aware of?"

I hear ya! I get that too. I am 27 and a single mom, so I get disrespected by other parents b/c they think I dont know as much and cant do as much as they can because of my age and status - they are wrong by the way (even the teachers at my dd's DCP say that I take better care dd than most of the other parents there).

I think my approach would be somewhat childish - I would guide my dd into the DCP and simply do what she does...
"Come along, we dont want to get in anyones space today - we might get hit"

On the other hand - I think would take your approach and simply be the bigger person, this lady obviously stinks. I dont like people like that. But simply try to keep them apart for the few moments you are all together. Is there anyway you can arrive 5 minutes later to avoid possibly running into her, I know that avoiding it isnt the answer but if you really want to keep your son there, this interaction you have isnt appropriate and you certainly dont need her stress and aggrevation.

What about speaking with the DCP??? Maybe she can offer some light on this issue.... she can lead the 2 children into a seperate area immediately so that this lady's issue doesnt effect their interaction with each other? ANd you can just go about your business without saying anything to the other mother?

Good luck.

Hi M., I'm so sorry to read of this stress you are having at daycare. Who needs that?? Anyway, this "older" Mom sounds like a passive aggressive bully. She uses words and tone to gain control, you can't change her but you can change how you react to her. Don't worry about "looking like a jerk", she's already taken care of that all by herself. I have 3 kids and I will say from my own experience I never regret sticking up for or protecting my children from other people's thoughtlessness. Your son sounds like he is being friendly to her daughter at arrival time, that's a good thing! Encourage him out loud by complimenting him on greeting his friends, stay upbeat and positive around the kids. Don't let her reprimand your son even passively, he'll pick up on it. Good luck, I'll be thinking of you two! :)

Oh, you're doing much better than I would. I'd probably tell her to go stick her nose up her own butt and get it out of mine. Even though you could probably be more diplomatic than I, you really do need to stand your ground and stand up for your self. God, if someone was floating around talking about their kids "aura" I'd probably flip my wig. In any case good luck with the looney.