I am not sure how to prepare my 4 year old son for his fathers upcoming deployment in 2 months...He loves his Dad so much he waits by the door fro him to come home from work. I am not sure what will happen when he is gone for 4 months. Does anyone have any advice on how I can prepare him?
These responses are great.
So sorry that he will have to be away so long - anything to keep a connection and the love / involement / not feeling of being abandoned is excellent.
best of luck to you all.
Hi C.,
I'm guessing your husband hasn't left for his deployment yet. My husband is on deployment at this time. Where will your husband be deployed to? Fortunately my husband was deployed to Travis AFB. When he received his order (about 3 months prior to deployment), they told him there were 3 possible locations he could be sent to...Iraq, Germany, or Travis Air Force Base (in California). He got sent to Travis AFB. Thank God.
There are actually a lot of things you can do if your husband is to be deployed somewhere in the US. Your son can probably talk to your husband on the phone almost everyday. If your husband has internet access, your son can send eCards and your husband can reply. Your husband will probably get a military mailing address, and you can have your son draw pictures, etc. and mail it to him. You & your son maybe able to go visit your husband. I'm sure they get some days off as well. Just arrange to be there on his days off. (we're actually driving to see my husband this week since my boys are on Spring break. He has Thur & Fri off so my boys are doing a road trip and get to SF by Wed evening to meet up w/my husband so we can spend Thur & Fri together). They are so excited to see their dad. They haven't seen him in over 2 months although they talk on the phone at least once a week.
As for overseas, I don't have much suggestion except mail drawing and pictures to your husband.
Remember to tell your son that his daddy is serving our country and he should be very proud of him.
Feel free to email me if you like someone to talk to. Remember, you are serving our country as well for supporting him and his willingness to serve our country. There's sacrifice from both parties.
I also have a four year old and his daddy left in January. If you look at the seseme street website there is a video about when daddy deploys. It was awesome for my kids. About two months before his deployment we tried to explain to the kids all about what was going to happen. And envolve them in the packing of the stuff my husband needed. Also, we tried to get as much daddy time in as possible. When he did leave we got a map to show where daddy was. I also show them e-mails and pictures. And tell them what there daddy job is Iraq.
If you try to tell them in kid terms it works. I told my son that Daddy is going to fight the bad guys. It made daddy a super hero which at this age is so cool for them. Ive just tried to spend as much extra time with them,so they know mommy is not leaving too. What branch is your hubby in?
When my daughter was 2, we moved to a new state, into my mom's house and my husband went on a ship in the USMC for 6 months. I wasn't sure how my daughter would handle it, but she did super! We didn't even have email at the time, but now that is a real big help for you to exchange communication. We put a huge map on the wall ahead of time and talked about all the places he was going. We got a postcard from the ship he was on and cut it into a little boat. Then we moved the boat across the world as he travelled to the Middle East and then back. She was thrilled when the boat started heading back this way and then it was all down hill. My husband read books and made tapes for her and included the books with the tape. At night, I would sit with her and she would read with the books and listen to dad's voice on the tape. Plus we took lots of pictures to send to dad. Then on his return day, she picked out her "daddy dress" to wear to reunite with him.
Don't forget to take care of yourself while he is gone!
There is a good commercial out about a little girl putting her teddy bear in her fathers briefcase when he was leaving for work. He took pictures with his cell phone of the bear to the places they went. You son could relate to this and see that his dad and "bear" are fine if dad could occasionally send pictures. This way he could also see pictures of his dad and know that he is being taken care of by "bear". Let me know if this works. Good luck for you also.
K.
I would have dad make a collection of home videos of him doing some of their favorite things they do together, speaking to his son, reading his favorite books to him, and then when he misses his dad he can watch one of the videos. I've heard that helps.
Hi C.,
Cara C's idea about the map is great. I grew up with a Dad in the Navy (lots of trips out to sea) and as far back as I can remember we'd have a big map on the wall with little marks, where he was, where he'd been, where he was going. We would also do a big craft project and make a "Coutdown-To-Daddy Calendar" sometimes, it was on big page and we'd cross off the day after dinner. Sometimes it was a page a day (stapled at the top) and we'd tear off each day after dinner. Whatever, it was a big deal and it would hang on the wall in the kitchen/dining area (military housing, lol) where we could all see. My dad would write us a letter everyday and I found out as an adult that he would write about 2-3 weeks worth of letters and give them to the postmaster on base so that we would receive one a day until they started getting mail out from the ship. We would also make cards and pictures and write letters and sneak them into his bag while he was in the shower the night before he left. So, just a couple thoughts from the child's point of view (as much as I can remember that long ago!!) :)
A. N.
:) :) :)
My husband is in the Marine's, and is gone frequently. My dude's are to young to understand so they get kind of confused. What other military wives around me do for they're older kids is explain daddy is going to go help people, and is doing a wonderfull job for America! They try to get them excited about what he's doing, and just remind him every day daddy loves him and is thinking of him. Put pictures in his room to. Also, stay upbeat yourself!!!
Kristy S had a great idea.....I don't think there is a method in place that could make this easy for either of you.....The only positive note I can think of is the support groups they have in place. Just know that you are not alone on this one and pray the time flies. I've heard of families putting together videos of the parent talking to the child and it can be played whenever you like and is merely a comfort measure. I really like Kristy's idea though, it has a positive start and finish, what better way! You are in our thoughts n prayers......
