Advice for Moving 4Month Old to Crib

find some soft easy listening music to play softly..into her crib also a night light near her..never a GOOD IDEA TO leave a bottle in babies mouths at night

My thought is to just feed her. If she wakes up and cries and you KNOW a bottle is what it's going to take, then why not just give it to her? I nursed on demand till my daughter was 5 months, then she got a bottle. If she woke up, I gave her a bottle. It make life so much easier for all of us. She's two now and sleeps just fine through the night. At 4 months, she's still too young for cry it out. Babies NEED their mommy and daddy. Remember, she can't talk to voice her needs, crying is her way of telling you something is wrong. I really don't understand the need for people to let their infants cry. You can't spoil a baby! So, if she wakes, give her a bottle. To make life even easier, put her bed right next to yours.

I really don't want to be husband bashing. But picking up from your post, it seems that because your husband's job requires attention & concentration, the responsibility of getting the baby to sleep and making sure that he is well rested is all on you. Him putting the pillow over his head tells me that he may feel it is all up to you. You may end up in the middle of making everyone happy. No small task in my house.
There is nothing wrong with living in a studio, nothing wrong with being home with the little ones. It is hard enough relocating, that is alot of change for you and your baby. This might even be why she enjoys being in your bed.

You may have given up one career, but you have taken on a whole new career. One that does not
allow for scheduled 10 minute breaks, nor 20 minute lunches (undistirbed). I remember being tickled pink to eat a meal that was still hot when mine were little. That felt like a raise or a bonus in the Corp world. You are not at an 8 or even 10 hour day. You are on call 24 hours. That is just reality.
I may have gotten the wrong idea about the husband and I appologize in advance if I have. Just some things I may have read into your post.
I may have very different answers than others. As I have grow further out of the phase in motherhood you are currently in, I have a slightly different philosophy.
If she is unsettled about relocating or just feeling insecure about things, she will crave human touch.
If sleeping in your bed is not possible, You might moving her bed close enough to pat her or feel your hand near. Guess what! She won't be 13 years old and crying to be in your bed. Enjoy her while she wants to be around you. Once a teen... Well that's another post!
I have a similar view on potty training, they won't be going to the prom in a pull up. Just because "people say" that the baby need to be in their own bed by some magical age pre determined by others or that they need to be potty trained by a certian age is a crock! Pushing an insecure child out of your bed or potty training before that individual child is ready will just frustrate you and make the child feel like a failure.
Again, I appologize if I gave stepped on toes, just my thoughts.....
I have addopted the life theory, "I am what I am" God made me this way!

Same thing happened to us with our first son! The only places he would sleep in were in his portable crib and his swing. We started by placing the portable crib (it's like a little basket) and the swing inside the crib for the first weeks. He started getting used to seen the railings and being away from our room but with the familiarity of his bed and swing. Eventually we put him in the crib without the basket or swing. It was a funny to see him with the whole swing in there before but he stopped crying every time he slept in his room. The other thing that helped him is that he needed the feeling of "confinement" from the swing and portable crib so we bought him a tiny little sleeping bag that would zip on the top like a hood. After he would fall asleep we would unzip the top for safety. Also, when he starts crying, don't pick him up right away, just talk to him and then push the mattress to give a vibration/rocking movement. That should help him fall back to sleep and get used to his new bed.

I have some thoughts on this...nothing scientific or anything...just what I have experienced.

With our first child (my daughter), at 4 months the doctor said that she was old enough to cry it out and to get her into her crib. So we tried. For three nights she cried for 3 hours straight and finally each night we couldn't take it and brought her into our bed (we both work full time and needed sleep!). She never got over her sleep issues until she was about 3.

With our second, our son, I had him in the bassinette/our bed until he was 8 months. Then we decided he needed to be in his crib, so the first night he cried 45 minutes, and then the next night 5 minutes. After that he was the best sleeper - we could easily lay him in his crib wide awake and he would turn over and go to sleep.

With our third (our son who is now 8 months), we really figured that the problem with my daughter was that we were forcing it too early on her (again, just our opinion). So with this one, around 6 months we started naps in the crib. And he wanted nothing to do with the bassinette, he was completely in our bed every night and needed to be held to nap. After about a month he would go in for naps very easily. Then we started night time. And we started it by putting him in the crib around 9:00, he would fuss and then sleep for a couple hours and then be ready to come to our bed. But it was enough of a relief for us (actually got alone time) that we didn't mind as much. After a couple weeks he stayed in his crib until he woke up to eat in the middle of the night, then he wanted to stay with me. After a little while of that, he was then able to eat and go back to his own crib.

Now at just over 8 months he's an awesome sleeper! We always put him in his bed when he's awake and he turns over or maybe cries for 10 seconds and goes to sleep! He still wakes up to eat at night usually, but I'll take that over having him in my bed any day!

Please let me know if you have any further questions...I was just in your shoes so I know the frustration you're going through!

Dear A. G,
Babies are creatures of habit. It would be wise to nip this one in the bud while she's small or you will still be dealing with this problem at 4 yrs of age instead of 4 months. Not to mention that it could cause some friction between you and your spouse, if you know what I mean much later on. You won't have much luck trying for #2 if your baby is in the bed with you!! As for the concern for your spouse's sleep deprivation, tell him to get earplugs. Tell your neighbors the same if they have a problem with your babies crying. That's what babies do all-the-time. The walls can't be that thin! Waiting out the crying is the best bet for the long term, but it does mean some short misery. What worked best for us was a babyswing along with a blanket or shirt that smelled like mommy. Knocked them out most of the time!!! But, sometimes I still had to let them cry. Good Luck!!

P.S.
I also have three small boys and guess where they sleep because I let them cry?!!

I also have a 4 month old. She had reflux and some other issues that made her very fussy and would scream if we laid her down. I held her in my arms for the first 2 months. I just could not take it any more! We tried putting her in her crib but were up every 45 minutes. Her doctor said the transition from arms to crib was too fast and recommended putting her in some sort of sitting position. We opted for the carseat and reclined it a little more by propping the front with a pillow. We folded a thin blanket and put it under where her butt would be to also make it more comfy. We cover that with a pillow case and placed her on top. That very night she slept through the night! We transitioned her out a couple weeks ago and she is now sleeping soundly in her crib all swaddled. I would recommend you husband getting a pair of ear plugs - that should help with any crying. Try not to give the bottle- You know your baby can go through the night without eating - which makes it a little easier as you know they are not waking cause they are hungry just because they miss you :) Good Luck!!

We did the same with our 2nd. Is your daughter taking naps in her crib? I would start by getting her familiar with that. Also, it is probably normal for a 4 month old to feed once during the night (our first slept with us but didn't wake up to feed as he needed to). Also, with both of our children we had to "let them cry a bit". Another thing, we had a bedtime routine - bath, books, and lullaby music (may not work for you) - this might help. Also, the book "sleep solutions" (I think) is a good resource. Good luck with this and number 2!

Before we moved into our house my son also shared a room with us and we would wake up every night to him crying, until he got into our bed and like you he was the only one asleep. He did good at naps (when no one else was in there) Now he has his own room and sleeps thru the night!

Is there an area of the apartment you could "block off" to make her own? Maybe get some wall dividers so she doesn't see you while she sleeps? Since my son has his own privacy now he sleeps much better. He is not seeing us or hearing us (snore...my husband not me (haha))

My son went thru the same thing. My other half works thirds so I was on my own with night time issues. Which I didn't mind though I rarely got sleep. I solved this by putting something that smells like his daddy in his crib. I took an extra pillow that Daddy had been using and put it under him/my arm while I cuddled him in our bed. As soon as he was asleep I eased my arm out from under him and if he stayed asleep on the pillow then I moved him (pillow and all) to his crib. Worked like a charm and he immediately started sleeping straight thru the night. I checked on him often to make sure he wasn't smothering himself with the pillow. He never moved, just curled up on the pillow and slept sound. No problems since, he sleeps great. Eventually I stopped worrying and just let him sleep. Now we're all sleeping great. :-) Hope this helps. Good luck.

Crying it out is hard on everybody. The book "Healthy sleep habits, happy child" by Marc Weissbluth has some wonderful tips in it.
My son didn't like the feel of the "cooler" mattress in his crib. So, first of all we bought velour (sp?) crib sheets at Target and then we put a heating pad on his mattress before putting him down. We just heated up the spot that we would put him on and then removed the pad. That did the trick. The softness of the sheet and the warmth kept him asleep.

You might want to look up the Ferber method. Its basically a cry it out method. I have 4 kids, the first one slept with us until she was 11 mo. old. I was so tired I couldn't function..my friend Ferbered her baby and when I was exhausted enough, I did it too -with her help b/c I was sure it was cruel and was going to lead to some weird detachment disorder in my daughter! LOL! It took 2 days. She slept thru the night and I did it with each of my other 3. They are wonderful sleepers..and my 3 little ones go to bed at 7 and wake up at 7 and never make a peep (the oldest goes to bed at 8) People think crying it out is terrible...but honestly, your sleep is very important to your well being and your babies uninterrupted sleep is extremely important to their brain development. Letting them cry it out will be the hardest thing you've ever done, but by the end of the week, you will be amazed and so glad you did it. Good luck.

Is the crib a convertible? You could take the side off and attach it to your bed. She is then close enough for you to get to if she needs you and close enough for her to think that she is still sleeping with you. There are also co-sleeping units that attach to the bed. Crying it out IS NOT the only way to get a baby to sleep. And, she may sometimes need a bottle. Growth spurts can account for lots of changes in habits. Yes, I love co-sleeping. It can be done where everyone gets better sleep.