J.B.
Wow, I'm disappointed with a lot of the mother's responses regarding this. I may be the only voice of dissention (and reason!), but I am not going to validate your bad behavior. Your reaction was way over the top for a FOUR AND A HALF YEAR OLD CHILD. That being said, do we always act as we should? No, and I understand you were scared and your first reaction was to yell out of concern for the safety of your child. Is it sad and deplorable that her parents aren't disciplining her as they should be (at least, according to your version of the story)? Yes. But it is not the child's fault and she is still a child who is not yet accountable for her actions. You are an adult who should take this opportunity to teach your niece, not yell at her and label her and write her off. Thankfully, your daughter was okay. Obviously, you don't have other kids, but wait until you have another one and you tell your daughter a bazillion times not to pick up the baby. But guess what? You turn your back and what are they doing? Your niece's behavior is not uncommon and not "monster" like (I totally agree with the mom who said your niece probably looks at your daughter as a life-size doll who does really cool things). You should definitely have some strong words with her, but leave the yelling and/or spanking to her parents. I have learned the hard way to expect the unexpected with kids and to always keep an eye on them, not just your own. This is a great opportunity to talk with your in-laws about your concern for your niece and also talk with your niece. You should apologize to her for your strong reaction, but tell her you were scared that the baby could have gotten hurt and that you were disappointed and upset that she didn't listen to you when you asked her not to pick up the baby. Think of how you'd want your daughter to be treated if she were misbehaving (heaven forbid, but it will happen). Don't worry, having a slice of humble pie now and then is good for you.