Hello ladies.
I need your advice about dealing with my three year-old daughter's attention and ability to focus. She is a wonderfully social and bright child, but, when it comes to focusing on instructions she mentlly and physically wonders. She has the abilityt o pay attention, as she does so if we watch a movie or read books. She goes as far as memorizing scenes and reenacting them, so I know she can focus. However, when it comes to interpersonal communcation, she can't maintain eye contact and ficus on the instructions being given to her. I notice that she not only dos this with me but also in her gymnastics class, which she started about a month ago. She attends a family day care daily (from 8:20 to 5:40) where she is surrounded by babies. I wanted desperately to start her in preschool this year but cannot find one that is both affordable and offers working mother hours. It is just the 2 of us and we have no family in the area, so the family daycare has been a blessing, The owner loves my daugther as she does her own children, so I am forever indebted to her, I would, however, like to get my little girl into a preschool where she can learn with and from her peers and where she is exposed tomore structured activities. Until then, can you please share with me any advice you have about helping my little one to focus? Are there any specific activities you can suggest? It is very easy to engage her, as she is tremendously social. It is just difficult to get her to settle down and listen so she can enjoy the activity.
hi there, i know you mentioned gymnnastics, but i found success with a preschool karate class, which really focuses on listening, focus, etc. Though it takes 3-6 weeks, most parents in the class have seen a huge improvement with their kids (and the kids are having fun, so it's not a lesson from their perspective). Good luck!
I agree with the other posters that your daughter sounds pretty typical for a 3yo. Focusing will come with time.
You can do activities at home to make up for not having preschool, and crafts help kids learn to focus while developing fine motor skills. I try to post preschool crafts on my blog pretty regularly:
http://thriftycraftmama.blogspot.com/
This blog has been running for a longer time and has loads of great preschool activities:
http://www.notimeforflashcards.com/
Hi S.,
First, it sounds to me from how you described her attention span to be very normal. At gymnastics, she's probably very curious/interested in everything else going on around her and its difficult for a little one to focus on one thing. It could very well just take her a little time to get use to the class and her surroundings for her to focus on the activities. As far as preschool goes, any chance you already looking into financial assistance with your town's preschool program? I know our town offers that for families in need of it. There is also an extended day program that my kids would go to until I could pick them up after I got out of work. Good luck to you:-)
I definitely understand your interest in getting her into a preschool. Have you contacted your town's school district? They should be able to give you information on program that will be more accommodating to your schedule and budget. Best of luck.
Check with your school department about early intervention programs. These are state-mandated and your child can be assessed for free. Maybe she needs some services, or maybe she just needs preschool. Preschool teachers in licensed centers are also skilled at evaluating kids' behavior and helping to decide if additional evaluations are warranted. Some towns provide preschool for kids in need of early intervention - ours does, and bus service is included. The drop off after school could be at your provider's house. Another option is to see if there is a mom at the private preschool of your choice who is interested in driving your child from school to the day care provider on those days your child goes to school. She might like a little extra cash but you wouldn't be paying for full-day preschool. Maybe the school would let you post a notice saying you are seeking someone to provide this service - you could interview those interested and make your selection BEFORE your child is enrolled, so you wouldn't have to worry about "rejecting" someone you have to face every day! Just a thought.
Hi S.,
My now five-year-old daughter is the same way and was at three. That does not mean your little one will be the same at five. What she benefited most from was preschool. Being around other kids in a structured environment that challenges and engages her. My daughter was in a home day care situation and while I worshiped the provider I wish I had sent her to preschool sooner. She was the oldest one there for two of the years and I really think it stunted her, for lack of a better word, in a way. My daughter is currently involved in evaluations to see if she will need some therapy OT and Speech etc. when she goes to kindergarten. She was eligible age-wise to go this year but she was in no way ready. We had an evaluation done through our family health center's behavioral clinic because we were concerned and wanted to get on top of things as soon as possible. They suggested we hold off on kindergarten and send her to preschool first and have the our local school perform an evaluation. I agree your daughter could just be acting age appropriate. I would say go with your gut. This is your child and you need to do what you feel is in his or her best interest.
All the best with everything. With a caring parent like you she will be great.
C.
A 3 year old focusing? I don't think that is possible.
But, really, it sounds like she is focused, just in a way that kids do. The little synapses in their minds are firing like crazy at this age that it will take time for them to start slowing and then she'll start to focus better. At least, that is what I am telling myself.
As for affordable care- I don't know where you live, but I found the YMCA in my area was very affordable and has many extra programs. My little one loves it and she does better now that she is around kids her age.
Good luck!
Why can't your daycare provider pick your daughter up from preschool? Most of the providers in my area offer that service. Also we have many in-home daycares that are also preschools. Keep looking because there may be options out there that you are not aware of. Ask other moms and friends for suggetions. we also have preschools in our town that offer extended day programs, anywhere from two times a week to five times, so it can fit most budgets. As far as focusing, try board games that are appropriate for her age. Many 3 year olds can't make it through a whole board game, but eventually grow into it. This will give you insight into exactly how long her attention span is. Another game I like is Hullabaloo. It is a movement game. You have to listen to the instructions, then do what the voice says. At 3, my daughter had a really hard time with it (remembering the instruction, then being able to carry it out) but now at age 5 she is perfect at it. It just shows you how they mature over time and things that could have turned into a concern they actually grow out of.
I have the same exact issue with my son. He does not focus when speaking to him. The day care he was in was also mostly babies. Something the daycare provider worked with me and also my son was when he needed to focus we would use the 3L's. Look, listen, and learn. so she would have me get down and ask him to turn his listening ears on and he needed to look at me, listen, and learn. then she would ask him to repeat what was said. This too was frustrating for a while. He still would not look at me and he would fidget and try to just talk over me. This definitely took sometime but overall it started to help. Then it was decided that he really needed to have the preschool setting. It has definitely helped him being with children his own age. You should check into the high school programs in your area. I know in my town and surrounding areas the school runs a preschool which is only like 2 hours in the morning but it is cheap.
