K.,
I want to tell you a possitive story about adoption.... it's good when you and your soon to be husband do this and stay together... my step dad adopted my half sister. He was a great dad... her bio dad (not my dad) was very abusive to my mom... and beat her all the time. My stepdad was our Dad until he passed away with cancer 2 years ago. At that time, my sister was 27. Because of the laws over 10 years ago, and because my mom had such a hard time looking for my sister's bio dad... my sister was 16... she consented as well as the court ask for my consent as well?? I dunno why but they asked me, I wanted it! My sister never looked for her bio dad.... nor did she care too! My step dad was her father at the age of 2, he treated her like she was a princess... my mom and stepdad never had children of their own.. we were it!
On the other hand, my niece married four years ago, we thought this guy was a good match for her. She had a daughter from a previous marriage.. he adopted her, when they had their own child... he became abusive to my grandniece.... now they are getting divorced... so now what???? He wants out of the obligation of being her dad.....
Please think about it.... I think the wise choice out the two is my sister's situation.. I say let the child choose.... I've heard too many sad stories on this issue... my ex husband is trying to get out of his obligation with his soon to be ex wife... he adopted her daughter and now he's in the middle of divorce and wants to get out of paying child support and end his relationship with his adopted daughter.
A prenup.... YES..... I did one with my current husband, and we added on the clause that if we wanted to change or update it in 5 years, that we could.... I did the prenup because of the family business to protect my interhance not only for myself but for my own children!!!! As well as to protect family heirlooms... to make sure that my kids got them and not my step kids.... I know that it sounds harse, but I want the children who would appreciate these family items to have them... because of the connection and our roots.
This also was written to protect one another from our former spouses... so that they could not tap into interhances... My husband's ex had her lawyer try that..... because of the prenup it backfired in her face!
Get one.... you need it to protect your children and yourself!