ADHD 9 Year Old

Have you seen an occupational therapist yet? I would consult with one who has experience with kids on ADHD continuum with sensory issues. The OT might be able to give you ideas on a weighted vest, or wrist weight, etc. He sounds like a sensory seeker (though that's just my "mom" opinion).

You could be describing my child. We also tried various types of therapy and the only thing that helped was when we saw a psychiatrist who prescribed medication. The difference in my child was like D. and night. It made a huge difference in interactions at school and brought peace to our home as well. Deciding to medicate was not easy and it was truly the last resort for us, but one of the doctors we went to said that we were actually doing a disservice to our child by not providing the medication needed to function in a socially acceptable manner. I hope that my child will outgrow the need for medication with age, but for now it is just another part of the daily routine.

Are you using medication for the ADHD? Are you using consequences for actions? My now almost 16 yr old son was diagnosed with ADHD in 1st grade. I remember his kindergarten teacher just shaking her head and asking my why he did the things he did. He still comments that she hated him. She was clear about her dislike. Sad isn't it?

But at 9 he's old enough to talk to and to understand that his rushing through the group of people, or pushing to get something is just not acceptable in any way, in any environment. I still ask my son what he thinks would be the right consequence for doing something he's not supposed to do. Ask him how does he like it when someone pushes past him? Explain that even though we don't mean to hurt people, when we do we need to make it right and "pay the price". Establish a cost - getting a negative report from the teacher will cost him the night of watching TV or playing with his DS, or whatever. And stick to it.

Set up positive expectations too. This I learned from an 80 year old Sunday school teacher. At bed time talk about what you expect from him at school. Tell him you know he can do it. Tell him that you know that when he feels like pushing through the group to get to the front he will pause and think about how that will make other feel feel, and if there's the chance he might hurt someone in the process. Tell him you know he can control himself and not push forward. Commiserate with him about the frustration but that you know he's growing up and can control himself and deal with the frustration. The remind him in the morning on the way to school. Then remind him again. Tell him how proud you are of him when he is able to control himself. Then when the day is over and you haven't recived any bad news congratulate him. Tell him how proud you are of his growing maturity and how you knew he could do it. And keep up the encouraging, positive attitude. If "words of affirmation" is his love language it will be a home run. It has worked wonderfully for my son and he's grown up so very much. Add a hair tousle, hug and/or kiss on the top of the head - and after a few days of good behavior add a trip to get a slushie or frozen yogurt, or some other treat. Make it a surprise.

Finally, I hope you're not afraid of medication for his ADHD. If one doesn't do the job try another one until you get the right one. We went through 3 or 4 different medications until we found the best one. i know many people speak against medication - but if it helps you child succeed and addresses his brain chemistry I think it's a good thing.

I wish you all the best mama. This parenting stuff is tough right from the beginning and it's doesn't get any easier - just different. BUT - the rewards are amazing.

If he were diabetic you wouldn't hesitate to give him insulin, would you?
I know some people will never try medication but sometimes medication is the only thing that will help.
I'm sure your son doesn't enjoy being in trouble any more than you enjoy hearing about the trouble that happens.
I'm sure his classmates don't enjoy being assaulted out of the blue to satisfy your sons need for stimulation.
Academically and socially he's going to start suffering as he gets into the upper grades if you can't figure out what will help him.
So please consider trying medication to help him out.

My daughter is ADHD-Combined, and is 9 years old also. She didn't receive her diagnosis until she was 8, so we spent many years getting calls from school about behavior issues. I'll tell you, the best decision I ever made for my daughter was to pull her out of public school. She was starting to get the idea that she was a bad child, that she was stupid (and yet she has an IQ over 150), that she was a bad reader... it was awful. No matter what support we tried to give her from home, she was bombarded with negative messages all day at school, and it was starting to impact her.

So we pulled her out of public school, and now I homeschool her using a Waldorf-inspired curriculum. She learns by doing a lot of hands-on projects. She has recess many times throughout the day. If she starts hyper-focusing on a certain subject, we go with it, and delve into it in as much detail as she wants to. She is happy, and her behavior issues have improved so much! She's learning, and she's excited to be doing so, which (in my mind) is the whole purpose of education. Through the several homeschool groups we belong to, she's able to hang out with friends who share common interests, and they're very accepting of her, even if she is, ahem, "high energy."

I don't know if homeschooling is something you're able to do, or have an interest in? If not, are there any Waldorf or Montessori grade schools near you? In our area there are even a few charter schools that use a Montessori curriculum. They're more project-focused and hands-on than the traditional public school curriculum, and this tends to work well for ADHD kids. So, that's my suggestion. If what you're currently doing for your son isn't working, it may be time to teach him the way he learns best. It doesn't have to be as hard as it is, I promise! Best of luck, and hang in there.

A lot of people think ADHD is not real because so many parents diagnose their child with the disorder so that their special snowflake child has a reason for acting like a jerk. In your case it doesn't apply but that's why people give you a side eye look when you mention it. Its like everyone has a gluten issue and so many claim to have autoimmune issues when they don't.

Work with the school and therapist to figure out a plan for your son. Don't keep trying everything under the sun because really your son needs to know that if he does A then B will happen. If he hits/pushes then B will happen at school and at home. You just need to work with everyone to figure out what B will be every single time.

K., you don't mention medication. Is he on anything yet? If not, that may be the missing piece of the puzzle. I waited years to put my oldest son on medication (he was dx'd at age 7, we first tried meds at 14) because he didn't have behavioral problems that affected other people so I was comfortable trying everything but medication. However, if is ADHD was the impulsive type (his is purely inattentive) then I would have tried medication earlier so that he wasn't violating other children and didn't get the reputation of being a child with behavioral issues. I can tell you that he tried two medications at age 14, stopped taking the second one and refused to try again until recently, and now appreciates the benefits if medication. That kind of buy-in isn't something that I would give a 9 year old...if medication is an option for him, don't put off using it.

Medication can be enormously helpful but isn't the magic solution, so for discipline, I would highly recommend that you read (and use) The Kadzin Method for Parenting the Defiant Child. This was recommended to us by a psychiatrist and is the only book he recommends. This method uses techniques that have been perfected in a behavioral health setting, with children and adolescents whose behavioral issues were extreme enough for some to be treated in a clinical setting. It's a gentle but firm approach, and positive, not harsh or punitive, and recognizes that children with health issues such as ADHD and ODD lack many of the internal control mechanisms that other discipline techniques assume are present and functioning to work.

Here is a link to the book, and it comes with a DVD as well:
http://alankazdin.com/the-kazdin-method-for-parenting-the...

Well for starters ADHD is the diagnoses for impaired executive function and my ADHD compels me to point out redundancy.

I am not sure about school aged kids. I drew the behavior line when my oldest was three so I had full control of cause and effect. Oh you like being at the park, you behave. That way it created a trigger that when they felt the urge to behave negatively they felt a negative outcome was coming. They didn't have to think about it, retrieve information, you know, use their executive function, it was a habit, it was cause and effect. No different than knowing if you drop something it will fall, every time.

That is the only way people with ADHD can internally control their own behavior, it has to be a response that you don't think about. ADHD is real but it is not an excuse for bad behavior. If he is not on medication that should be the first thing you research. Hard to learn how to do positive things if you are always in trouble for negative.

MEDS!!!! And get an IEP instead of the 504 for school. Good luck.

A friend of mine has twins, boy and girl. The boy was just diagnosed as ADHD. It seems 9 years old is the magic number. His sister is a straight A student. He is smart but his ADHD gets in the way of his learning. He can't sit or focus long enough to do well in school. My friend didn't want him on meds as a result he is failing the 4th grade. They have finally put him on meds now but it's too little too late so while he is repeating the 4th grade his sister will move on to 5th.

If your son is not on medication please consider putting him on meds. My mother was a teacher and had kids with ADHD. She said when the parents would put their kids on meds it was the biggest turnaround. One kid with from making D's and F's to A's and B's. Good luck with your decision.

Is he on any kind of medication? Do you go to Chadd meetings? ask your pediatrition if there are any in your area. Now what we found helps. Talk to your son a lot about spacial bounderies. his and other peoples. It helps. my son didn't realize he was doing it but when he was crowding someone and they would back up he would follow because whatever he was trying to say was stuck in his head and had to be out before he could move on to some other thought / action. He is 19 now and much better about it. but boy when he was about 5 - 12 it was rough. My son was incredibly intellegent. and did well academically but socially was a complete failure. Until he got the teacher who knew how to help him. Ask at school that they put him with the teacher who deals with it best.

If your son has a diagnosis of ADHD from a doctor (and not just the suspicion of a teacher), then he has a real medical condition. This means that his brain works differently. It's not his fault, it's just how he is. What the medicine can do is help his brain to function differently so that he can adjust to the world he lives in.

Our son is almost 6 and has been seeing a psychologist. At our most recent appointment he told the doctor that he used to like school but he doesn't any more because he "can't stop being bad." This almost broke my heart! It's not his fault!

That day he was diagnosed with ADHD and began taking meds. It hasn't been the miracle I would have loved to see, but it has made a real difference in his life! He is doing much better at school. He still has his struggles and we have to continue to work on his behavior. But some of that is due to the habits he's developed over the years. It will take time and a consistent effort.

Most people with ADHD really do benefit from meds. The meds have not made our son lethargic or composed or any of the other horror stories I've heard. They help him to be more calm and more in control.

Definitely need to add medication to the mix. At least give it a try. It can make a tremendous difference. It's worth the leap of faith to try it. We found nothing else worked until we connected the dots in our son's brain through the medication. You can't parent away ADHD. Believe me, BTDT.

ADHD medication alone may solve the aggression. If not, the doctor may recommend Risperdal or Abilify. We found both of those medications to eliminate our son's ODD (just had to switch due to side effects with one). No more aggression or rages at all.

There's nothing easy about medication. You may see side effects, you may not, and once you get one that works brilliantly, your child will have a growth spurt and it will stop working. It's not easy, but again, can make such a "wow!" difference and make your parenting strategies and therapy sessions worthwhile.

Is he on medication? My son has a boy in his class that sounds like your son. He's a smart kid and he thinks of my son as his friend (5th grade). But he will out of nowhere...punch other kids (and my son) in the face. Or in the stomach. My son does NOT think of this boy as his friend and it looks to me like he has no friends bc it's like he truly cannot help himself. He doesn't have malice about it. It is as though he thinks it is amusing. I would try medication for ADHD if it were my child.

He's not functioning, why is there any question whether he needs medication or not? ODD in itself needs a med to regulate his mood so he doesn't blow up and hurt other people The ADHD is like walking around when you're running a fever and it's like a fugue, when you seem like you're in a fog and can't concentrate. That's what it's like for him all the time. There isn't any question in my mind that people who don't realize this is a medical condition that requires medication to help them doesn't believe it's real. They are in denial.

Try Ritalin. It goes out of his system completely in 4 hours. You give him a dose at the beginning of the day then another, half or a whole, at lunch. Then kiddo can focus and stay on task.

People don't think ADHD is real in other countries, but it's an extremely common diagnosis in America, so I'm not sure what you mean by that. Many people are getting therapy, services and medication for it. I have quite a few friends doing so and a large percentage of kids in schools today are medicated. So you can get help along those lines without any problem here in the USA.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/suffer-the-children/...

If you son had asthma would you give him asthma med so he could breathe? If your son had diabetes would you give him insulin so he could metabolize sugar?

If he has ADHD and therapy, and other things are not working.. I think it is time to TRY medicine.. note this is a TRIAL.. just because you try it.. does nto mean he will be on it forever.. or that it will work.. it may do nothing for him.. or the side effects may not be worth it..

again you are trying it.. for a short period of time.. to see if it works.. you are not putting the kid on drugs for ever..

ADHD IS A REAL THING. I will admit that is is over diagnosed and over medicated. My daughter was diagnosed with it and it was a false positive. She was sensitive to my cleaning compulsions. Once we detoxed the house, the diagnose was removed. I'll give you the dirty details if you want them...that being said, synthetic chemicals will over stimulate that aggressive side. Detoxing your home WILL help.

Chiropractic care will also help. Chiropractic care works with the neurological system. It repairs the path of communication so the body works at its optimum level. If you do the two things and he's getting good nutrition, then your at a good baseline and can go from there. I will bet you money you will see improvements. I have seen it tooooo many times.

God bless!
M.