Accidents Happen!?? - Hagerstown,MD

Where was your fiancee when you were bathing the toddler and trying to keep the baby out of the toilet? Unless he was helping you, tell him to shove it.

And you didn't hurt your babies. They hurt themselves, and you were there to comfort them and make sure they were okay. That's what a good mom does.

Children get hurt. That's why they make boo-boo ice and band-aids and splints and ERs. Unless you really hurt them, and you didn't, you're doing everything a mom can do.

Step back and take a breath.
Your fiance can be mean, but where was he?
You have little kids.
Okay.
That said, I did daycare with little ones super close in age. Two of them were only 30 days apart and it was like having twins.
When you have little ones like that, you have to keep them close so you can wrangle them both.
I raised my own kids but 10 years apart so I didn't have the juggle thing you do in my own personal day to day life.
You should never have a humidifier that's hot that a child can get to. Only plug it in when they are sound asleep and in their safe cribs.
If both kids are awake for bathtime, put them both in. They are at least corralled. Close and lock the bathroom door so when you get one out, they get dried off and can sit on the bath mat while you get the other one out and dried off. You can carry the little one and walk the toddler to their rooms where their clothes have already been laid out. Close the door and make sure there is nothing hot or dangerous while you dress one at a time.
It's a juggling act, for sure, but you can do it.
I really think that keeping the kids close in proximity is the lifesaver.
Make sure one doesn't have the chance to run or take off while you take care of the other.
It's the only way to go.
Accidents really DO happen to the very best of parents and your fiance needs to understand that and be a little more supportive.
My husband was a complete jerk about things being perfect but he didn't freak about the kids having garfs or getting scraped up because he knew that kind of thing can happen.
It happened when HE was watching the kids. Sometimes stuff happens.
That said, make sure there is nothing hot or dangerous while you are trying to attend to one child. Keep them both confined and as close to you as possible during a given situation. Poopy diapers, vomitting, feeding, whatever it is.
They will learn to stick close by and you won't even have to work at it.

Best wishes.

I read your other post about your fiance..... Run! It will not get better and he is eroding your confidence until you are unable to be strong for your children. He is sabatoging you and setting a horribly example for your children (boys who will learn to treat women this way.) He should be helping you and supporting you emotionally when things go wrong, perhaps with some suggestions but not being mean..... If you won't leave for yourself, leave for your children and the women who will be in their lives when they become men.

You did not hurt them. You did not hurt them.
You have a crawler and a toddler? Shew, that is a lot of work. Take a deep breath! It sounds like maybe Daddy could be more helpful and less critical.
If you are babyproofing and trying to avoid danger than you are not being a bad parent. Sometimes it does help to take another look around the house at the level of your little guys and make sure you've done what you need to baby proof, if you see anything you can fix or have missed than remedy the situation as best you can. Sometimes, accidents happen. P.S. Nobody should be mean to you. Nobody.

You probably are sleep deprived and little ones are quick. I have had days like that as well, everything that can go wrong will go wrong. I hope that tomorrow is a better day for you. You probably should put the humidifier, or vaporizers as I suspect it actually is since it is hot, out of reach. Humidifiers are usually cool mist and Vaporizers produce hot steam. I know that the instructions say not to set it on furniture because it can cause damage to the furniture, but I always put a folded towel under the vaporizer or humidifier to keep the top of the chest dry. I never had any problem with damage to the furniture.

Oh, I've had days like that. I really feel for you! You are a perfectly fine mom. You didn't hurt them at all... YES, accidents happen! Don't worry, days like this will occur- so will really awesome days. Take a deep breath, a long shower (or bath), a good sleep and center yourself for tomorrow:)

Don't beat yourself up. Accidents do happen. You will get through this. It sounds like you have your hands full with two little ones.

Accidents happen, and I'm sure you will be super vigilant for a while now.

One suggestion - our pediatrician says never put a warm-mist humidifier in a child's room because very bad burns happen quite often. Switch to a cool-mist humidifier and an extra layer of jammies or blankets!

These are lessons to be learned from. And I'm not going to dump on you for it either.

Suggestions: the humidifier NEEDS to be up where your children cannot reach it, nor pull it down by the cord. Ours is a cold-air one, and even without the heater, my son caused trouble with it, dropping bark and soil from my rubber tree into the holes in the top. (my husband now knows how to completely disassemble and clean it, so we've also acquired a new skill). They can also pull out the water container and rub the ball plug on the floor to make a huge mess. (This happened when my husband left that component upstairs as he was taking the other part downstairs to be cleaned. So you aren't the only one...)

As far as bathtime and busy kids, sometimes you are going to need to put one or the other in a contained space. This is when the pack-n-play/portacrib/high chair come in handy. Strap them in for safety, of course. I found that my son did very well in the stroller with a few toys when I needed to have the oven door open, or if he was in mischief mode and I needed to use the bathroom or take a shower. I tried not to make it a punishment, but just "I need you to be here right now, sweetie" and went about my business. This also worked well outside too, when work needed to be done and he wasn't staying away from the street.

And the next time your son scalds his arm (if ever again)-- don't worry about the diaper. You need to get the little guy's arm under cold water immediately, or a deeper burn could take place. If you haven't had any first aid classes, please consider them. Scalded arm always trumps poop.

Sorry, sounds like a rough time. Hope you all get well soon!

Where is your fiance when all of this is happening? I highly suggest that you leave him alone with both kids for an extended period of time.

We all get distracted ... try not to beat yourself up. I do think you should put your 8 month old in the play pen while you are bathing your toddler though - too much to keep track of and you are kind of putting yourself out there for accidents. This way, even though your 8 month old might not like it too much, at least you know that he is staying put and you can focus on your toddler.

I have made my share of mistakes, and felt horrible at the time. But I learned from them, and moved on. Best of luck to you!!

Hi - Sorry I'm late, but I had to chime in. Last year my one-year-old fell down the stairs because I didn't latch the safety gate. You want to talk about feeling horrible, I felt like the worst mom on earth. But here's where my story differs from yours: my husband didn't judge, he helped, and he told me not to feel bad, that accidents happen, and that I can't wrap the kids in bubble-wrap. He made me feel so much better. I'm sorry your fiance isn't doing the same. It's bad enough to feel like you let your kids down; you don't need some jerk who wasn't there making you feel worse. I say tell him to shove it, or better yet, hit the road. What a bad example he's setting for your boys on how to treat people.

Perhaps a cold water humidifier is the way to go? You mentioned a fiance-where was he when this was happening? Sometimes people allow things to happen to their children-or cause things to happen, to get attention themselves-it's called Munchausen's Syndrome by Proxy-familiarize yourself with this and make sure it is not you. I'm not saying this to be critical-but no one uses hot steam where a baby can get to it. Also-barriers can be created out of a series of gates and fencing and such-so why is the 8 month old getting into the toilet and the humidifier-not to mention the electricity and water situation? Stick him in the crib if you have to and let him at least be safe while you attend to the toddler. An 8 month old does not need complete run of the house-he needs to be safe. Take care and good luck-I know it is overwhelming!

Yes, accidents happen!
I'm going to tell you a little story in hopes that it makes you feel better :)
When my son was 2 I was coming out the screen door with a cake in one hand and plates/forks in the other. My son runs up to me and grabs my leg and I wobble and the knife that had been on top of the cake box slid off and falls ON HIS HEAD!!!!!!! It was all in slow motion but I couldn't prevent it! Luckily it just sliced open a little flap then landed on the deck about a 1/2 an inch from his little piggies! I grabbed him, a towel and yelled for hubby to get the car. By the time we got to the hospital it quit bleeding and he wasn't even crying, but I was! It was horrible!! I still feel horrible about it. I see the scar every day.....but instead of crying I thank God that it's just a little scar and nothing worse (like a lopped off toe or the knife going straight into his skull vs. just opening up the skin). Accidents happen. Do your best to protect them ~ move the humidifier, get a cool mist instead, buy a rubber mat for the tub so its not as easy to slip. hang in there! some days are just worse than others :)